How do you know if you are the one who should be apologizing?
After years of denial, blame, and self-pity, will there ever be a day when you finally realize that perhaps a simple apology was all that was needed? Saying sorry is not solely about feeling guilt and remorse for one's actions towards another. Sometimes, even when circumstances may suggest that one was not at fault, an apology can hold the power to change someone.
Even though there are those who believe that saying sorry without a clear reason can make you feel small and allow others to take advantage of you, life is far from being a straightforward choice between right and wrong. It's a complex mix of emotions and circumstances where the boundaries can blur.
Life was the most complicated story with unexpected plot twists, tragedies and injustice. It is not a straightforward narrative where we can easily distinguish between the virtuous and the villainous. Every action carries a story, and behind every person's choices lies a cause. Everyone is suffering in their own way.
Maybe what you're experiencing might seem small compared to what others are going through, but that doesn't make your sadness any less real. Everyone deserves to be listened to and understood.
Therefore, a simple apology, even when it's not your fault, can heal people. When you hold that influence over someone's life, even simple words can ruin someone or maybe save their lives or the lives they might destroy.
Leo's eyes darted between the murky lake water, the colourful wildflowers, and the vast night sky above. Being in the presence of the very person she should be running away from was the stupidest decision she had taken till now.
The common response to such a situation should be panic. But there sat Leo, next to Chen, with his blazer draped casually over her shoulders. They didn't exchange many words if any at all. They were just staring ahead blankly with a million thoughts in their minds that no words could describe.
It was a silent truce between the hero and the villain of the story. At that moment, as they sat on the muddy ground, they were not enemies, just two troubled souls from another world who were trying not to feel lonely.
Leo's gaze wandered through the forest, but it eventually settled on Chen. A gentle furrow creased her brow,
The last time she saw Chen, he was only fourteen, but now he looked like a different person. His wide, doe-like eyes that used to sparkle with wonder had lost their lustre, replaced by a distant and cold gaze. The corners of his mouth were turned downwards as if he hadn't experienced joy in a long time. His once youthful frame appeared thinner, and his eyes bore purple shadows underneath as if the weight of sleepless nights had taken its toll on him.
"Stop looking at me with those eyes," Chen suddenly spoke up, his tone devoid of any warmth. He turned his head to face her, his eyes meeting hers for a brief moment.
Leo immediately averted her gaze, feeling the weight of awkwardness settling in. It wasn't as if she was scrutinizing him, she was simply trying to compare this version of Chen with the one she had known in her past.
"What eyes?" Leo mumbled quietly to herself, her words barely audible amidst the surrounding silence.
Chen let out a bitter chuckle, devoid of any joy. It was more like a sharp breath, a way to break the heavy silence that hung between them.
"You look at me as if I'm a stranger," he said, his voice laced with a tinge of sadness. "It's like you've never really seen me before, like I'm someone you don't recognize anymore."
And he was right. Leo didn't know who this person in front of her was anymore. Chen used to be so different, so full of kindness and warmth. He had a way of appreciating the little things in life, and finding joy in the simplest moments. Even after losing his parents to the mysterious fire, even when he was at his lowest, he never once took out his anger and sadness on a pebble on the road.
So, seeing the same boy she had grown up with into a complete monster was a bitter pill for Leo to swallow. But now, as she sat by him, hearing his quiet sighs, she couldn't help but question herself. Did her presence, and her actions, contribute to his current state? Was she somehow responsible for the darkness that had consumed him?
Leo released a sigh, her lips forming a subtle pout. A firefly landed on her finger making her lips lift up slightly. It crawled into her palm and settled there like it was its personal king-sized bed. Leo gently cupped her hands together, bringing the firefly closer to her face. Its gentle glow cast a soft light on her features, revealing the curve of her nose in the enveloping darkness.
As the firefly's light danced upon her face, Leo sensed Chen's gaze drilling into her from the side. Her smile gradually transformed into a solemn frown, mirroring the weight of their unspoken words. With a tender touch, she gently released the firefly onto the cool blades of grass, watching it flutter away into the night.
"Chen, I get it. You've been through stuff that I can't even imagine," Leo began, her voice tinged with a mix of empathy and frustration. She locked eyes with him, not backing down. "But you can't expect me to say sorry for something I didn't do. I can't take the blame for something I had no part in."
"Apologize? I stopped expecting anything from you the day you drowned me in that river, Leo," Chen stated, his voice surprisingly calm despite the weight of his accusation.
"For the umpteenth time, I didn't drown you, Chen!" Leo exclaimed, frustration evident in her voice.
"Well, you certainly didn't save me either," he shrugged nonchalantly.
"Blame me if you want, blame me if it helps you sleep at night," Leo seethed while yanking Chen's blazer from her shoulder and throwing it at him harshly.
"I do blame you, trust me," Chen began, his voice tinged with bitterness as he gently placed the blazer around Leo's shoulders once again. "But not because I died."
Leo couldn't help but roll her eyes in response, a gesture of dismissiveness meant to hide how she really felt. She wanted to appear nonchalant as if Chen's harsh words and detached tone didn't affect her. Yet, beneath her stoic facade, she felt her heart slowly breaking, piece by piece.
"Then what is it that you blame me for?"
Chen's silence stretched on, intensifying the knot of anxiety in Leo's stomach. Whatever Chen was going to say would decide what role she played in his story. Was she the friend who had unknowingly caused him pain? Or was she the villain, the one responsible for turning him into a monster?
"I blame you," he said, pausing to turn his body fully towards Leo. His gaze is cold as ever. "I blame you for being kind to me, for taking care of me, for giving me hope, and for shielding me from the darkness."
"If you're seeking sympathy, you've come to the wrong person-"
"Yes!" Chen exclaimed, his outburst cutting off Leo. Startled, she looked at him, waiting for him to continue.
"This is what you should have done," Chen continued while breathing heavily, "You should have pushed me away, blamed me, and shown me how much I hurt you. Instead, you cared for me, you supported me, and you made me believe that I was worthy of love and understanding."
Leo's heart pounded in her chest, but she fought to maintain her composure. Chen's icy gaze locked onto hers, a mischievous smirk playing at the corners of his lips. Despite the tension in the air, his relaxed posture left Leo feeling unsettled. He sat with his knees bent, his hands loosely clasped around his legs.
"You should have ignored me from the beginning, bullied me with others, shut me out of your life," he droned on, his fingers toying with a delicate white flower. "Life would have been so much easier if I had hated you."
A scoff escaped Leo's throat. Chen lifted his gaze from the flower, his eyes meeting hers as if searching for a reaction to his words.
"I think you've done enough already," Leo spat out, her voice dripping with frustration. "Self-pity will get you nowhere."
"Done enough? All I did was watch you have a great life with the heir of Slytherin," Chen replied. He tilted his head as if addressing a child throwing a tantrum.
Leo gaped at the boy in disbelief, "Then what about the nightmares?"
Chen furrowed his eyebrows, his expression a mix of confusion and surprise. Leo could see the genuine confusion in his eyes, but she couldn't bring herself to believe him. It could all be an act, a facade carefully constructed to deceive her.
"What nightmares?"
Leo's hands clenched the grass below her, her anger coursing through her veins. How dare he act clueless after all the sleepless nights he had caused her? The audacity to threaten her, to harm Tom, and then simply sit there, feigning innocence.
"You are far worse than I ever imagined," she seethed, her voice trembling with rage. "If you want to hurt me, have the courage to admit it! There's no need to pretend to be the noble one."
Chen's lack of reaction only intensified the weight of the situation. His unflinching gaze pierced through Leo, leaving her feeling a mix of anger, frustration, and vulnerability. The empty look in his eyes sent chills down her spine, triggering a surge of emotions she struggled to contain. She wanted to punch him, kick him, blast him away with her magic. That stare was penetrating her soul, making her feel like a deer in front of a lion.
Time seemed to stretch on endlessly as they locked eyes, neither willing to break the silence. Finally, Chen averted his gaze, his voice barely audible as he admitted the truth.
"Yes, Leo. Those nightmares were all because of me," his words barely carried through the air.
There it was, the confession she had yearned for. Chen had finally admitted to his crimes. Leo's heart pounded in her chest as she held her breath, hoping that the weight on her shoulders would finally lift.
But as Chen turned his head to meet her gaze, something shifted in his eyes. The blankness that had consumed them moments ago gave way to a different expression. Sadness etched across his face, and Leo could see the fragments of a broken soul on the verge of losing itself. Yet, as quickly as it had appeared, the sadness vanished, replaced by a stoic facade.
His unsettling smirk returned once again, sending shivers down Leo's spine, "But it's only the beginning," Chen declared, "I failed to be with you in my previous life. I will make sure I am in this one, even if it means that I have to be the villain."
Leo's mouth opened, ready to respond, but before she could utter a single word, Chen was already getting up, ready to leave.
She considered ending his life right then and there. It wasn't the typical choice made by a female protagonist, but the thought of eliminating the bad guy when presented with the opportunity seemed like a greatly underrated option. With just a flick of her hand, he would crumple lifeless to the ground. All her troubles would evaporate, the nightmares would cease, and she would finally be able to save the people she held dear.
So, just kill him. For once, choose the logical option.
But how could she?
Even amidst the darkness of the forbidden forest, Leo could see Chen's eyes glistening despite the malicious smile on his lips.
✱ ⁕ ❋ ✻ ✽ ❃ ✿ ❊
Tom couldn't help but fidget uncomfortably under the weight of the three oversized blankets that were meant to keep him warm in the otherwise lonely prefect quarters. The silence seemed to amplify the eerie atmosphere, and every little noise echoed in his ears, making him feel even more on edge. The rumours circulating about an evil demon lurking in the shadows only added to his unease, as he couldn't shake off the thought of being the next target.
It wasn't that he was a horror fanatic or easily spooked. Leo just had great skills at storytelling. She had successfully planted the seed of fear in his mind, making him believe that if he didn't make a mad dash to his bed within three seconds of turning off the lights, he would surely be sucked into another dimension by the demon living under his bed.
So, when a loud knock echoed through the room at such an ungodly hour, Tom's heart skipped a beat. Even the headmaster will not be able to get him out of his bed tonight. The boy just buried himself deeper inside his blankets, pretending to be fast asleep.
"Tom, it's me, Leo," a familiar voice called out from the other side of the door.
Tom raised an eyebrow skeptically. Leo's voice, or so it claimed to be. He couldn't be easily deceived, not after all the scary stories she had told him. According to Leo, demons were masters of voice mimicry, capable of luring unsuspecting victims to their doom. But Tom had priorities. There was an arithmancy test looming on the horizon, and he still had half a syllabus to revise. There was no way he would let himself be eaten by a demon before getting through that test.
He heard a soft sigh emanating from behind the door. His hands instinctively moved closer to his wand, which lay on the bedside table, prepared for any potential danger that awaited him on the other side of that door.
"Alohomora," a voice whispered, and Tom's heart skipped a beat. He quickly stumbled out of his bed, grabbed his wand and pointed it towards the door.
With a twist of his wand, Tom exclaimed, "Confringo!" unleashing a burst of fiery energy towards the open doorway.
A bright yellow light shot from his wand, aimed at the perceived demon. Tom grinned, confident that his attack would eliminate the threat. But his smile vanished when the spell was effortlessly countered, disappearing into thin air.
"Tom! What on earth are you doing?" Leo exclaimed, raising an eyebrow.
Tom squinted at Leo suspiciously. "Is it really you?"
Leo rolled her eyes. "Who else would come knocking at your door in the middle of the night, Tom?" She sighed and stepped into the room.
The candles suddenly flickered to life, casting a warm glow throughout the room, revealing Leo already perched on his bed, swinging her legs nonchalantly in the air.
Despite her attempt at appearing calm, Tom couldn't help but notice the subtle signs of restlessness in Leo. Her finger tapped nervously against the soft mattress, leaving a rhythmic pattern behind. He noticed the faint scars and dried blood around her lips, a sign of her anxious biting. Her dishevelled hair mirrored the chaos within, and her darting pupils failed to focus on any one thing for long.
Tom coughed softly, feeling sorry for his impulsive reaction. He gently placed his wand back on the nightstand and took a seat next to Leo, maintaining a respectful distance between them.
After his conversation with Tayden about understanding women better, Tom developed a new perspective on the world. He had also been warned about being cautious during Leo's "time of the month," as she could turn into something much worse than the demon living under his bed.
Tom straightened up as he remembered one more thing. He shot up from his bed making Leo give him a questioning look.
"Where are you going?" Leo asked, not wanting him to leave.
Tom turned to her, his smile awkward, and replied, "I need to get something."
Without giving Leo a chance to ask any more questions, Tom turned away abruptly and hurried towards the bathroom. As he entered, Tom wasted no time in reaching for the tap, swiftly turning it on. The familiar rush of water filled the room, and he positioned the bottle under the stream, allowing the warm liquid to flow into it steadily.
With the bottle in hand, Tom hurriedly made his way back to his room. He opened his wooden closet which had his clothes neatly folded and arranged according to occasion. He rummaged through the stacks of clothes and retrieved a baby blue-coloured box that he had kept. With the box full of chocolates and the bottle of warm water now firmly in his grasp, Tom took a moment to compose himself, gathering his thoughts before stepping towards Leo.
"Here you go," he handed her the gift hesitantly, "Tayden promised that these will make you stop ignoring me."
Leo's eyes darted from his face to the box of chocolates a couple of times. Tom waited anxiously, feeling like he was offering a bone to a guard dog of the underworld.
After what felt like an eternity, Leo took the box of chocolates with a sigh. Tom watched her closely, relieved when a light chuckle erupted from her throat.
"Tom," she called out softly, "I'm not on my period."
Tom's tense shoulders dropped, his anxious face shifting to an annoyed expression. If her period wasn't the problem, then why was he being ignored? He had wasted his savings on getting high-quality chocolates.
"But I really needed the chocolates," Leo said with a grateful smile.
Nevertheless, the money was well spent.
Tom watched as Leo eagerly tore open the box and began devouring the chocolates as if they were her last meal. She quickly swallowed each piece, her actions almost desperate. As she finished, she reached up to tuck her hair behind her ears, her wide brown eyes meeting Tom's gaze. However, he couldn't help but notice that her eyes were bloodshot, causing a frown to appear on his face.
"Have you been crying?" Tom asked, his voice low and unfamiliar with this type of conversation.
Leo averted her gaze, but Tom couldn't bear to see her like this. He gently cupped her cheeks, urging her to face him once again. Her eyes were welling up with tears. Tom's heart felt a painful jolt. He suddenly decided that he hated seeing Leo cry.
"Where have you been, Leo? Has someone hurt you? Was it Chen?" Tom's eyes narrowed, his tone becoming protective.
Leo shook her head. "Can you hold me, Tom?" she whispered, her voice filled with vulnerability.
Tom didn't have the chance to reply because Leo was already buried in his chest. Confused but willing, he held her tightly, feeling her warmth against him. He mimicked her actions, running his fingers through her hair like she always did to him. It felt nice, and he realized he could easily get used to having her in his arms like this.
"Where were you, Leo? I was worried," he scolded her softly.
Leo sniffed, "I met Chen."
Tom paused, his fingers still in her hair. He swiftly pushed her back to meet her eyes. "What?"
"It was a coincidence," Leo quickly tried to explain. "I ran into him in the forbidden forest."
Tom felt a surge of betrayal coursing through him, his expression turning sour as his insides churned with anger. "Well, I hope you had fun," he retorted, feeling the bitterness taint his words.
Leo shook her head urgently. "No, Tom, please listen to the whole story."
"Why should I? You've just ruined everything," he snapped back.
"Don't start with this plan of yours again," Leo groaned in frustration.
Tom rubbed his face in frustration. Why couldn't Leo understand what he was trying to say? What was he trying to say anyway?
"I wanted to show him that I have what he wants. "But now that you've already spent time with him, my plan feels like it doesn't matter anymore," he complained.
He struggled to come to terms with the fact that Leo had willingly engaged in conversation with Chen, despite ignoring him for the entire day. It felt unfair, like a sharp sting to his pride.
He could feel Leo's eyes on him, but he stubbornly refused to meet her gaze. His face flushed with heat, his throat constricted with a mix of unfamiliar emotions. The impulse to snatch the box of chocolates he had given her and hurl it out of the window grew by the second.
"You wanted to make him jealous?" Leo inquired.
Tom shot her a quick sideways glance, his expression guarded. "That's a rather simplified way of putting it, but yes. I wanted to stir up some jealousy in him."
"But now, it seems you're the one feeling jealous," Leo remarked innocently.
Tom nearly nodded in agreement and then quickly shook his head. He let out a loud scoff, unable to comprehend how anyone could suggest he was feeling jealous.
"Of all the possibilities in the world, you've managed to arrive at this conclusion? You've truly surpassed yourself, Leo," Tom shook his head in disbelief.
He firmly believed that he was incapable of feeling jealousy. After all, he was perfect. He had the looks, the grades, and the girl. So, it was impossible for him to feel jealous simply because Leo had talked to some boy after ignoring him all day.
That is certainly not what the burning in his chest is about, right?
Tom cleared his throat, attempting to change the topic, "Why were you crying?"
Yes, call him selfish for destroying the light mode but he was desperate to change the topic. He felt a tinge of guilt as soon as Leo's face grew gloomy once again.
"I just realized something," Leo began, her voice tinged with sadness. "Li Chen, he turned out to be a monster, and I might be partly responsible for that."
Tom rolled his eyes, growing impatient with Leo's self-doubt. What did he expect, after all?
"Why? Because you didn't reciprocate his feelings?" Tom taunted, brushing off Leo's concerns.
Leo let out a frustrated sigh. "Maybe. I don't know! There's something we're missing here."
"Or, you are just having a hard time accepting that your best friend is a little bitc-"
"Tom! Enough with your jealousy!" Leo exclaimed, her voice filled with exasperation. "Since when do you even talk like that?"
Tom glared at Leo, his face growing hotter by the second. He felt a sickening sensation in his stomach, making him feel queasy. He just wanted Leo to stop talking about Chen. He wanted to find Chen and drag him to the room of requirements and lock him there for the rest of his life.
"I am not jealous, Leo. I am simply tired and I need to go back to sleep," he explained with feigned calmness.
He turned his face away from Leo and buried himself under the three blankets, attempting to shut out the world and its complexities. He was done dealing with Leona Hart.
"Oh my God, Tom!" Leo exclaimed, clearly exasperated.
He covered his ears, desperately trying to block out her voice that only added weight to his already burdened chest. His mind made up images of Leo and Chen engaged in pleasant conversations, laughing together as childhood best friends tend to do. The mere thought twisted a knife in his gut.
"Tom!" Leo whined, vigorously shaking his body.
"Your presence is currently not appreciated, Leo. You may leave," Tom's muffled voice emerged from beneath the blankets.
"Fine! I'll have it my way, then," Leo huffed.
Defying his wishes, Leo tugged at his blankets, lifting them up. She slowly joined him on the bed making sure to wrap her hands and legs around him tightly.
"You're invading my personal space," Tom grumbled.
"Oh, am I?" Leo retorted, challenging him to do something. "So, what are you going to do about it?"
Nothing.
Tom huffed, torn between annoyance and a hint of embarrassment.
He could do nothing except feel every curve of Leo's body pressed against his back, her warmth seeping into his skin. The sensation sent an electric jolt through him, igniting a conflicted storm of emotions within. He kept his eyes trained on the white wall like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
The only thing he could do was either fall asleep or knock himself out before completely losing control over his actions.
A/N: THEY FELL ASLEEP, CHILDREN! NOTHING HAPPENED!
Okay, now that everyone has their innocence intact, including Tom and Leo, I shall end the chapter here.
I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
Look! It's AI-generated Tom and Leo!