Hurricane

"For Gods sake!" Cara sighed, exasperated with life in general.
The coffee she had just bought pooling in a puddle round her feet.
"You ok there?" The guy behind the counter asked.
"Yes I'm fine, just not my day"
He passed her some napkins and poured her another cup while she got rid of the mess.
Taking her second cup over to the park bench she sat down and let out a deep breath. What. A. Day. Or to be more precise - what a few months.
Moving to New York from London had been a major decision.
Her relationship had gone sour and she decided a change was needed.
She had been seeing Matt for just over a year. An aspiring actor she thought he was everything she wanted in a man - funny, kind, charismatic and handsome. How wrong she had been.
His huge ego was the wrong side of confident.  He was a bully. He got the lead role in the musical Hamilton shortly after they got together which catapulted him into the limelight and ultimately  into another woman's arms, or several women's arms to be more precise.
She was devastated and relieved at the same time. It felt as though a weight had been lifted. 
She had been through college with her best friend Ben, an exchange student from New York and when she got a call from him telling her there were places available where he was now working, she jumped at the chance.

A police motorbike paramedic hits different in NY, London had its challenges but the drivers here were another level.
Still Cara loved a challenge so when she was offered a temporary contract she jumped at it,  after a couple of months here things were starting to settle down.
She let her head drop back and closed her eyes to feel the sun on her face.
Her radio buzzed "168 come in"
"Yes 168 receiving go ahead"
Peace shattered she swigged the last of the coffee and got on her bike.

"Lin we need to run through Hurricane again. The revolve and table lift aren't looking smooth enough"
"No problem" Lin jumped back on stage from his seat in the theatre where he had been watching. He thought taking on the A Ham role again after a couple of years out would have its difficulties but a table wasn't one of them!
Still he had a few months to get back up to speed till opening night.
He chuckled which got him enquiring glances from the rest of the cast.
He just smiled at them all. God it was good to be back.
The whole of the OG cast had agreed to take part in this year long charity run and the money was rolling in.
"Ok good to go when you are!" He shouted. The revolve turned and he was suddenly surrounded by chairs, papers and the offending table.
"Yep that's better!" Tommy Kail the director shouted, happy with what he was seeing "ok that should do it for today!"
"Thanks everyone" Lin shouted.
"Hey Buddy, fancy grabbing a pizza?" Thayne put his arm round Lin and walked off stage with him.
"Only if you're buying and no kissing on the first date" Lin joked.
Thayne grinned "see you outside in 10"
He went back to the dressing room and sat down to take off his costume and boots. Catching sight of his reflection he told himself " you are looking seriously tired boy! Rest is needed. Bags on bags are not your best look, no wonder you can't get yourself a girl!"
He laughed quietly.
On the outside he had it all. The Broadway show, the money, the respect of everyone in his industry, dark Latino looks that made women go weak at the knees and a personality that just made everyone fall in love with him.
What he didn't have was successful relationships. Even the ones he thought were working ultimately turned out to be fake, just wanting him for his fame or how far up the ladder he could help them get to.
They soon got bored when they realised that rather than going to the fancy restaurants and schmooze with the celebrities he preferred a life much less in the limelight whenever he could.
He wore his heart on his sleeve, his emotions always easy to read but over the years had learned to stay cautious. The words "I love you" while easily said to friends were very seldom spoken to partners. He had to be 100% sure, and that hadn't happened for many years.
He changed into jeans and a hoodie and went to meet Thayne

The van had come out of nowhere, side swiping the bike. Cara had been catapulted over the handlebars and was laying in the road silently cursing.
She could hear the van driver in a panic calling the emergency services. The irony of a paramedic being called for a paramedic was not lost on her.
After about 10 minutes and a lot of fussing around her they turned up.
"Jesus! Cara?" It was Ben, they had been placed in the same division and spent a lot of time both at work and away together. He clearly hadn't expected to be seeing her sprawled on the floor "can you give me a run down?" He asked kneeling down beside her.
"I think my head is fine, I can feel my fingers and toes - my back is feeling rough though"
"Ok, you know the score. Don't move. We got you"

It was a month of intense physio before Cara found herself in her bosses office.
"You want me to do what?!"
"We've been called by the guys at the Richard Rodgers Theatre, they are trialling having a full time physio on board for the company to deal with sprains, aches etc during a charity run. They are flat out rehearsing to get it ready on time and want to minimise down time.
You would be perfect. I know you specialised in sports massage before becoming a Paramedic, It's a great way to get you back into work doing light duties till you're 100% and ready to get back on the bike"
Cara looked at Mike incredulously, did he actually just say that?
"So let me get this straight, you want me to work at Hamilton?"
"Only till you're fully fit again"
"Hamilton the musical?"
"Yes"
"Hamilton the musical ... on Broadway?"
"Yes.... sorry.... have I grown two heads? what is so difficult to understand?" Mike looked exasperated.
Ever since the break up Cara had been trying to avoid anything Hamilton related and had been doing quite well. She hardly ever thought of Matt now. Then suddenly they were wanting her to work there! Fuuuuck.
"You start on Monday" Mike jolted her back out of her thoughts.
Walking out of his office she felt numb. "Come on" she said to herself  "it's a totally different country, with different people. You can do this"
"Do what?" Ben had fallen into step with her.
"Shit did I say that out loud? Sorry"
"Yes you did, and no apologies needed, just an explanation.  Coffee?"
"Absolutely" Cara smiled at Ben and they walked across the road to the coffee shop on the corner. A favourite of the emergency workers it was always busy.  They grabbed coffee and took a table near the window.
"Ok, spill" Ben smiled at Cara, the coffee cup hovering halfway to his mouth.
"They have signed me to work at Hamilton as an in house medic till my back is fully healed and I can get back on the bike"
"Ok, so ... what's the problem exactly? I mean its supposed to be an amazing show and you will probably be able to see it as often as you want and it's oh! ..... Hang on....Hamilton? As in the same Hamilton with Matt?"
"Yup!"
"But that was in London right? He isn't going to be in this one?"
Cara sighed "I know, the chances of ever seeing him again are ridiculously low, and it's not like I feel anything for him anymore but I spent months hearing about it, I think I know every damn line, and it just has such a bitter taste for me"
Ben took her hand. "I get it, but just try and think of it as something completely different.  Don't let past memories cloud your view, at the end of the day Matt was the asshole, not the show"
"Yes you're right, as usual" Cara rolled her eyes playfully and Ben raised an eyebrow.
"Hey you get to meet Lin-Manuel Miranda as well, that's GOT to be a bonus"
Cara knew he wrote it so was aware of his name but he'd also been at one of Matt's shows and Matt was constantly bragging about it to anyone who would listen.  Telling people Lin thought he was the best A.Ham he had ever seen. A claim Cara didn't quite believe.
In London Lin wasn't as well known yet as the US and she always turned off the TV when anything Hamilton related came on so didn't really know much about him.
"I guess" she shrugged.
"You've got this! You'll be fine"

"Ok listen up people" Tommy addressed the room.
"So we've got the new medic coming in about 4. We're going to allocate her a room of her own that can be used as a medical bay.
She will be part of the team but of course will keep everything discussed strictly private, please make her feel welcome"
Lin absentmindedly gave a thumbs up from his spot on the stage. Sitting cross legged with his headphones on working through a song mix on his laptop
"Lin"
"LIN!"
Tommy pulled Lin's headphones off his head. "Were you listening?"
Lin's hand flew to his chest and a look of mock indignation crossed his face. "Of course! You speak and my whole world stops you know that!"
"Funny..." Tommy eye rolled. "New medic, today, 4 o'clock. will you be around to introduce yourself?"
"I should be... I can't stay long though, got to get this second draft to the big wigs" he tapped his laptop and smiled.
Tommy took a hard look at his friend.  Concern spread across his face.
"Take time to rest Lin, you look done in"
"I will... I'll have an early night... after I've sorted this"
Exasperated Tommy gave Lin a hug
"I mean it Lin, we need you healthy"

"Ok, I can do this. It's just a job, a walk in the park. Aching muscles and sprains are probably going to be the most exciting thing going on" Cara sat in the car with the engine running giving herself a pep talk.
"Ok deep breath!"
Getting out of the car she gathered up her bags of supplies and made her way to the theatre entrance
She could hear music coming through the doors 'wait for it...'
Hovering towards the back of the stalls she waited until the song was finished. She had to admit it really was incredible.
Making her way to the front of the stage she was met halfway "Hi, I'm Tommy" he held out his hand by way of a greeting "Hi, I'm Cara, the new medic?"
"Of course! Please follow me. I'll show you where your base is and then do some introductions"
Cara followed Tommy backstage and into a room. "I'm really sorry that Lin isn't here," Tommy said "he had to dash off but he'll be in tomorrow"
"Give me chance to settle in" Cara smiled at Tommy. He seemed nice.
"So the guys from the hospital have been in and set up your stuff. Obviously if you want to move things around that's completely up to you." Tommy's phone buzzed he looked down then back up again "I'm so sorry, I have to take this. I could be a while. Make yourself at home"
"Hey no problem"
Tommy closed the door on his way out leaving Cara to get acquainted to her new home.
It was actually better than she thought. A medium sized room with some cupboards, a sink and a couch in the corner. Off to the side a smaller room with a therapy table.
She put her bag down and found a coffee machine on the counter. "Yes!" She made herself a coffee and got to work unpacking and setting up.

Lin walked into his apartment a solid 21 hours after he had left it.
He had already started undressing before he was through the front door. Throwing the laptop on the couch he clicked on the coffee machine and went straight to the shower.
He stood with his hands on the wall the hot water running down his back, letting out a gentle moan as his body began to relax.
Rinsing his dark hair he wrapped a towel round his waist and walked into the kitchen, pouring himself a large coffee.
The day had been long but successful. Taking his drink to the bedroom he dropped the towel and got into bed sighing happily as the soft covers fell round his naked body.
He picked up his drink "So grateful" he mumbled as he fell to sleep exhausted before he even finished the last mouthful.

"No it's fine mum," Cara tried to be patient. "It's not what I signed up for but I'll be back in the saddle in a few weeks. I'm just happy to be doing something rather than sitting round looking at the wall!  Yes of course I'll be careful,  love to Dad"
She clicked the phone off and went to bed.
As far as first days go it had gone pretty smoothly. She had met the team with the exception of Lin.
She immediately loved Jon, and found Daveed and Chris to be fascinating and full of entertaining stories
'Wait for it' started to run through her head again where it had been looping all day. "oh shut up!" She shouted loudly to the room.
The ear worms she did not love.

The sun streamed through the window. 
"Jesus!" Lin rubbed his eyes as they adjusted to the rude awakening. He really must start to remember to close the blinds.
Reaching for his phone he tapped on the screen  - 0530. He had been asleep for a whole 3 1/2 hours. "Pretty much a record" he congratulated himself.
He lay staring at the ceiling for 5 minutes gathering his thoughts, fleetingly wondering if he was in the mood to have a quick play. His hand went to his semi hard cock. It felt good. It had been way too long since he had time for some self pleasure and even longer since someone did the work for him, he let his mind start to wander.
The phone rang and startled him back to reality.  It was an overseas number.
"I can't even Jack off in peace! -  hello, yes Lin speaking"

Cara was up early, not going to admit but she was a bit nervous.
First full day in her new job meant actually getting her hands on people. She wanted everyone to like her but also wanted to be professional.
She had a message from Ben. "Go get 'em tiger" She smiled and shot back a meme as a response.
Pouring a coffee she sat by the window in her apartment and watched the skyline of New York start to wake.
She started to think about the complexities of life. If she hadn't been treated like something off Matt's shoe she would still be in London and looking at a view that certainly was not to this standard.
Life has a funny way of helping you out. She laughed. Unsure if that was a philosophical reference, an Alannis Morisette lyric or both.

A few blocks away Lin caught the subway and sat down, his headphones in their usual place on his head
He was so engrossed in his music that he arrived at the theatre before he even registered the journey. Walking through the doors he bumped straight into Jon. "Hey Einstein, slow down!"
"Sorry Jon, I was miles away" he said giving his friend a hug.
"No shit!"  Jon smiled warmly back. "How's it going?"
"Really well, they seem to like the drafts so far. Just another 3 to work on.."
"As well as doing Hamilton and remembering to take time for yourself you mean?"
Lin looked sheepishly at Jon
"Yeah that too"
"... obviously" Jon responded sarcastically. He peered closely at Lins face. "How many hours did you get last night, 6?"
He didn't respond
"5?" Jon pushed for an answer
They had been friends for many years and loved each other dearly. Jon was constantly worrying about him.
"Christ Lin! Please tell me it wasn't less than 5"
He was rescued from admitting the truth by Daveed walking in, his smile lighting up the room "Morning party people!"
"Morning Daveed" they both said together and laughed.
"You two are too damn cute" Daveed grinned. "I'm off to get a morning massage, hell there are worse ways to start the day"
"Oh God yes!" Lin said "I was supposed to be here to meet her but had to go, give me a shout when you're done.
Daveed gave him a thumbs up.
"You could really use a massage" Jon said "Not sure I want to think of anyone else's hands on you though" he pouted playfully.
Lin laughed  "Hey there has been absolutely no danger of that for the last year and a half, I know that my body should be a temple but I've been taking it to the next level!"
"It will happen Lin, when you least expect it. Someone will sweep you off your feet" Jon did a dramatic bow to make his point. Lin let out a "Ha!" But said nothing else.
Jon watched Lin walk to his dressing room. Full of love for his friend he just wanted him to find someone worthy of him.
He had been there through all of Lin's adult relationships, he sure knew how to pick them! Lin was a sensitive guy and felt everything deeply. Jon had lost count of the times he had appeared at his door at all hours, confusion all over his face as the same question came up over and over 'what do I do wrong?'
The truth was that he didn't do anything wrong.
Always putting other people before himself made him a prime candidate to be walked all over.
Jon was putting everything out there that for once Lin could meet that one person who would love him wholly and completely for who he really was
"Come on universe. Do your thing" he said to himself.

Daveed knocked on Lins door,  "I've finished, I feel like a new man!" He windmilled his shoulder to prove the point nearly taking Lin out in the process
"Great! What's she like? I'm just going to swing by now if she's free and say hi"
Daveed smirked "Oh yes, she's nice"
"Excellent! Catch you later" Lin said as he walked away.
Jon was walking down the hall and caught the tail end of the conversation
"Nice?" he questioned when Lin was out of earshot.
"Oh he isn't going to know what hit him" Daveed winked at Jon.

"Come in" Cara shouted to the closed door. She was moving things round after Daveed had gone and had her back to the door.
"Hi, I thought I'd swing by quickly. I'm so sorry I missed you yesterday. I really wanted to be here when you arrived"
Cara registered the voice and spun round.
"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr Miranda" she held out her hand but wasn't sure how she was still standing. 
She had seen a few photos of him but never really paid attention.
Jesus, the man standing in front of her was - stunning. There was no other word for it. His deep brown eyes were crinkling at the corners as he smiled.
"Please call me Lin, you're part of the team now"
They shook hands and he suddenly felt very self conscious, he could feel his confidence draining away.
This happened all the time when he was faced with a beautiful woman, and damn was she beautiful - Long dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes it was not a combination he had seen before and he was transfixed.  Her British accent was also making him weak at the knees.
"I was wondering if I would fit.. I mean could you fit me.. have you got time to have me... for a massage, obviously, nothing else... I mean I don't know what else you do... professionally of course!"
He could hear himself and all the voices in his head were screaming at him to stop. Why was he like this!
Cara smiled internally 'cute' she thought.
"Of course" she said out loud. "I just need you to fill a bit of paperwork out first"
She got her papers out of the drawer and passed them to him with a pen to fill in.
Their hands touched for a second and Cara felt as though a jolt of electricity had shot through her. They locked eyes and both looked away.
"Ok boss, form filling done!" Lin said after a few minutes
"Good luck reading it though! My handwriting is terrible"
"I'm sure it's not" Cara smiled warmly back at him as he handed her the papers. She looked fleetingly at the page.
"Although, now you come to mention it..."
Lin looked playfully hurt "Hey you aren't supposed to agree with me, this could be the shortest time in employment for you ever!"
He tried to look stern but failed miserably. His face breaking into a smile.
Cara was having a battle with her own internal monologue -
'Shit why do you have to been so good looking, please don't smile I can't concentrate. Can you please be an arsehole. I can't fancy my boss, this isn't a movie! There's no way he is single. No. Way'
Ever the professional she calmly said
"Ok let's take a look. Do you want to go through to the room, pop your top off and make yourself comfy on the massage table, lie on your front please"
Lin went through, took off his hoodie and positioned himself as instructed on the table.
Cara followed him in after a couple of minutes. She got some oil on her hands and let it warm up to body temperature. Putting her palms on his back she slowly started to work on his shoulders. Christ he was full of knots.
He had the most beautiful coloured skin she had ever seen. Caramel in colour and smooth as silk.  She worked each side of his back in turn. Lin let out an occasional moan of appreciation.
It felt so good to have someone touch him again, he tried to steer his mind away from her touch. Mindful of the effect her hands were having on the lower regions of his body, he tried to think of work but it was getting increasingly difficult to concentrate.

Cara worked on each knot in turn. Taking her time and making sure that each one was released before moving on to the next.
She did her best to keep her mind on the job but his skin felt so good.
She ran her hands down the full length of his back and stopped just before his waist. Moving them to the outside of his body and back up again.
She noticed he had goosebumps and smiled, knowing it was not the temperature that was causing them.
She worked up, moving his shoulder length dark hair to one side she pushed her thumbs into the dip at the base of his neck and firmly pushed upwards. 
She could hear Lin's neck cracking and realigning as she did.
"Shit" Lin said
"You ok?" Cara asked him, Lin tried to nod. "Uh huh"
Not wanting to push his body too much on the first session she called it a day.
"Ok I want you to sit up, but slowly please!"
Lin did as he was instructed. He felt very light headed and relaxed.
"I feel better than I've felt in as long as I can remember" he moved his head from side to side.
"That's great, I'll step out and let you get dressed"
He watched Cara walk out and close the door.
He really did feel good, pulling his top over his head he made his way out of the treatment room.
"So, how come you're so far from home?" He asked as Cara was typing up notes on her laptop.
"A position came up over here and I wanted to try somewhere new" Cara answered. It wasn't a lie. Just not the whole truth. She missed out the part that she mainly took it to get away from reminders of her ex. She hated discussing Matt, there were no good memories and she always got a look of pity when people knew the truth. She wasn't a victim and hated being treated like one. That mixed with the fact that Lin employed him made the whole thing even further down her list of small talk.
"I heard about your accident"
Lin carried on "I'm sorry"
Cara looked at him, his face was full of concern.
"It's fine, really, it wasn't as dramatic as it sounds, I just landed funny, I'll be back in the thick of it in 6 months"
"And how are you finding the place?" He quizzed
"I'm loving it so far, everyone has made me so welcome"
"Good! They would have to deal with the wrath of Miranda if not"
looking at Lin's beautiful face Cara was pretty sure that the wrath of Miranda would be about as terrifying as a kitten in a cotton field.
There was a knock on the door,
"Sorry to bother you, Lin you're needed for some tech stuff, I have no idea what they are talking about so don't ask me what"
"No problem Jon, I'm on my way"Lin looked at Cara "Thank you" he hesitated "Erm, would..?"
Cara met his eyes and he let the sentence hang in mid air, in his head he was screaming
'Just ask her! Would you like to go for a drink with me! What is so hard!' But the words wouldn't come out.
"Would....?" Cara raised an eyebrow expectantly and Lin felt as though her blue eyes were looking straight through him.
"Would you mind if I swing by again another day? I think it's really helped"
A slight frown flickered across Cara's face, but quickly softened into a smile "Lin, you can swing by whenever you like. That's what I'm here for"
"Ok, well have a great day" he said "and I'll see you soon"
Waving and closing the door on his way out Jon looked at him "Smoooth Lin, real smooth"
"Hey it's not like I could do anything anyway" Lin said sadly "You know it's unprofessional to date other team members, gotta lead by example"
Jon arched his eyebrow shaking his head he put his arm round him.

Cara let out a long sigh of relief.
How the hell was she going to do this, she didn't know how she had managed to stay focused. Her hands still tingled from touching him. She picked up his paperwork and went to her laptop to enter the details "Interesting" she said out loud - next of kin was his mother not a wife or significant other.

Shit! Of course. He was gay!
Why hadn't she thought of that before.
"Idiot!"

The bar was busy but Cara and Ben managed to find a small table in the corner.
"How was your day?" Cara asked.
Ben did a dramatic sigh.
"Oh you know, filled with blood, bikes and edge of your seat rescues. Actually that's a lie, the most dramatic thing that happened today was a boy got his head stuck in the bridge railings, anyway never mind me. How was YOUR day?"
"It was good. They've given me a decent area to work in, I met most of the Company and they all seem lovely, time will tell I guess"
"The burning question though. Did you meet Lin-Manuel Miranda?"
Cara could feel her cheeks starting to redden. "Yes I did. He's sweet"
Ben waited for more but she didn't reply, just swirled her drink round in the glass.
"Oh helllooo" Ben broke her out of her trance "You fancy him! Oh my God" he was clapping his hands together and laughing.
"I do not!" Cara responded a little too loudly  "Anyway! He's gay so.." she shrugged.
"Girl!! Lin-Manuel Miranda is NOT gay! If he was I would have sought him out years ago! Tell me EV-ERY THING"
Cara relayed the meeting to Ben. Careful to leave out any of Lin's private details.
"I can't fall for another 'creative type'!" She said doing the air quote marks with her fingers "Especially one that wrote the damn thing my ex was in. I'd get known as the Hamilton bike"
"I don't think they had bikes back then... maybe the Hamilton Carriage" Ben howled at his own joke "Too soon?"
Cara thumped him on the arm
"Seriously, you haven't shown any interest in any guy since you've been here"
"I know and then I go all out and pick one who is way out of my league, probably has multiple girlfriends and is famous, I know how to party!"
Ben suddenly got serious.
"What if he is the one and everything has lined up for you? Look, I can see why you're hesitant. You've been through the mill with Matt. Anyone would be cautious. Just because he turned into a self obsessed prick doesn't mean every man will, and from what I hear Lin seems like a genuinely lovely guy. I've never read a bad thing about him..."
Cara stopped him
"It's all irrelevant anyway.  Just because I fancy him doesn't mean the feeling is mutual! He has his pick of all the women, I'm sure most of whom are more beautiful and successful than I am."
Ben looked her straight in the eye "Stop. You don't see it because you're not looking, but every time you walk into a room alll the straight guys eyes follow you. Seriously. You are stunning. Don't think for one minute you can't be with Lin because of who he is. This playing field is level"

Lin was at home working at the piano. A tequila on top and pages of music notes strewn all around him.
He was trying to get the last song down but just couldn't concentrate. He kept thinking about the day. Mainly one part of it... Mainly Cara.
He could picture her smiling at him, her amazing eyes, could feel her hands on his back, moving down his body. He felt his cock start to harden. He didn't have time for this he had a deadline.
"I need a walk!"
Downing the last of the tequila he picked up his jacket and left the apartment.
It was dark out. The clouds looked black and menacing in the distance. The moon was bouncing off the Hudson making tiny sparkles of light on the water.
Lin made his way to the theatre, it was a no rehearsal tech day so would be empty by now. He felt most comfortable there and hopefully could cure his writers block.

Cara kissed Ben on the cheek.
"Ok I'll catch you soon. Take care of you!"
"Love yooouuu" Ben trilled as he jumped into a cab
She got into her Uber, gave the driver her address and settled down feeling in her bag for the apartment keys. Shit! Where were they? She emptied the contents out onto the seat "SHIT!"
"Problem?" The driver asked
"Yeah, can't find the house keys" Cara laughed but panic was setting in. She retraced her steps in her mind. She had been at work, got her keys out to add the back door theatre key to them that Tommy had given her, then Daveed had turned up...
Shiiiiiittt! Realisation dawned, she had left them in the theatre.
"Can we do a detour? Can you drop me at the Rodgers Theatre please?"
She was crossing everything that someone was working late. If not, back up plan, crash at Ben's place.
She paid the driver and walked up to the front of the theatre. No one around. Great. Walking round to the back she could hear a piano being played, there was someone there.
She went to the backstage door and was surprised to find it was unlocked.
Walking through the door she shouted "hello?" No answer. The piano was still playing so she made her way to the stage.
Lin was on a roll, lost in his playing he was singing and occasionally stopping to jot something down.
Cara stopped mid step and watched him transfixed. He was mesmerising. The way his hands moved over the keys made her shiver, she put her hand out to steady herself and in the process knocked over a pile of books that were stage side.
Lin spun round jumping at the sound.
"Oh God I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to startle you, I was just waiting for a break so I could let you know I was here"
Lin felt as though his heart had left his chest and he leant on the piano waiting for it to slow.
Cara carried on "My keys! I left them in the room so I came on the off chance that there would be someone here..."
Lin took a deep breath and laughed.
"Well there goes another of my nine lives! I really must remember to lock the door!"
"I'm so sorry" Cara said again but he waved her apology off with his hand
"Hey it's fine"
Embarrassed she continued
"Well I'll go and get them and be out of your hair" turning she walked quickly down the stairs to her room, cheeks burning.
She went to where she last saw them.  The theatre key was there ready to be put onto the rest but her house keys were nowhere to be found. "What the hell?"
"You got them?" Lin shouted, as he walked down the corridor to her room, he pushed open the door to see Cara on all fours, backside in the air looking under the counter.
She shouted a muffled response "No"
Lin tried not to but couldn't stop looking at her ass. It was perfect. He had to restrain himself from walking over and grabbing it.
Cara shuffled out. "Nothing! Where on earth are they!"
Together they searched the room but to no joy.
"Ok!" Lin clapped his hands "So you can't get in your apartment and I'm assuming you don't have a spare?"
"Correct! Go me!" Cara answered.
"So, you will have to stay at mine tonight and we will sort out a new set in the morning if they don't turn up"
Cara shook her head quickly
"Oh no really I couldn't ask that you do that! I can go round to my friends, he should still be up it's not too.. "
Lin stopped her.
"I insist. You're here, I'm here, I'm about to head home anyway.
I've got a spare room and I have tequila"
I. Have. Tequila. What the hell was that Lin!!
"You look like you could do with a drink I mean" he quickly added.
Cara looked at him
"Actually I could" she agreed.
"Come on Littlest Hobo, let's get you a home" he stopped and frowned "I think I've just shown my age!"
Cara laughed "Hey it's ok, I got the reference"
Outside it was pouring. The rain bounced off the sidewalk. They jumped in the nearest cab but were already soaked through.
They laughed all the way back, bouncing memories of childhood programmes between each other.  Lin was trying but failing miserably not to look at her wet t shirt sticking to her.
"I'll get you some dry clothes when we get home" he moved his gaze a millisecond too late. She folded her arms self consciously.

Cara stood open mouthed.
Lin's whole apartment was beautiful.
The view was amazing, She could see the GWB over the Hudson.
The main room consisted of a large white leather wrap around sofa which faced a fireplace. The TV on the wall above it.
A pristine white grand piano took pride of place in the centre.
The only sign of someone living there were the papers still all around it and an empty glass on top.
Off to the side an open plan kitchen area with a shiny coffee machine taking over the counter top.
"Lin your place is stunning"
He smiled
"Thank you. Make the most of it, It's not normally this tidy. I just haven't been home much lately"
"You really don't stop do you?" Cara questioned.
"I am busy, but I like to be" he shrugged. "Let me show you your room"
He led her to a spare room with en suite and pulled out a t shirt, towel and a pair of shorts from a drawer. "Here you go, I think these should fit.. sorry about the shorts I don't tend to have ladies wear around. The shower is through there, I'll leave you to freshen up. I'm going to grab a shower myself." He turned on his way out
"I'll make us some food in a bit. Pasta suit?"
"Lin you really don't need to go to any trouble. I would be happy crashing on your sofa"
"Hey, it's no problem" he said "I want to" their eyes met and held for what felt like an eternity before he broke his gaze and left her to it.

Cara stood in the shower letting the warm water wash over her. She opened a shower gel on the side and immediately realised it smelled of him.
She thought of the apartment and the lack of anything remotely female, it didn't make sense, he must be fighting the ladies off surely.
After drying off she put on the shorts and t shirt. There was a glass of Tequila on the side. He must've brought it in while she was showering.
Lin heard the shower turn off.
"You feeling pesto or tomato pasta?" He shouted.
Cara wrapped the towel round her hair,  grabbed her drink and went into the room.
Lin smiled as she entered.
"They look better on you than me" he laughed looking at the shorts.
She reddened slightly
"Pesto please by the way"
"Pesto coming up" he did a wave with his hands and flicked the tea towel over his shoulder. Cara walked over to the window taking a sip of her drink. The lights of the city stretched out in front of her.  Lin looked at her silhouette framed in the window by the moonlight. His eyes ran down her body, she took his breath away standing there in his shorts, her legs went on forever.
He felt his cock moving. Shit. Time to bring it back down. He took a large gulp of tequila.
"Parmesan?"
"Sorry?" Cara turned round towelling her hair dry. Only then seeing the Simpsons socks he had on. She smiled,  Lin followed her gaze.
"Ha! Yes sorry. I'm a nerd. What can you do"
"Sexy as hell though" the words were out of Cara's mouth before she realised.
She carried on towelling her hair dry praying that he hadn't heard.
"What did you say?" He asked quietly
Cara was rooted to the spot. Her face covered by the towel.
"Say it again" he was barely whispering but there was an urgency to his voice
"I... I'm so sorry.... I didn't mean... well I did mean ... but..." suddenly Lin was in front of her. Moving the towel away from her face.
He put his hands under her chin and gently lifted her face to his.
"Say. It. Again ..." his eyes had darkened to almost black and he stared straight at her, neither of them daring to breathe or move.
Cara watched him bite his lip, and his eyebrows knit together slightly. He was looking from one eye to the other willing her to say it.
Cara took a deep breath. "You're sexy as h..."
She didn't finish the sentence. Lin's mouth was on hers frantic and urgent. His tongue searching. His hands running through her still damp hair pulling her towards him.
She entwined her fingers in his hair and bit his lip gently their tongues tasting each other.
His hands moved down her back and under the t shirt. Pleased to realise that she hadn't replaced the bra after her shower. His fingers ran down her and he stroked the soft tight skin on her stomach. He started to kiss her neck and moved his hands up until his thumbs found her nipples. He stroked them gently, making Cara gasp then cupped the whole of her breast in his hand. She reached up and lifted her t shirt off. Lin looked at her breasts taking them in.  He licked his lips then lowering his head took one in his mouth and delicately circled his tongue round her nipple till it hardened in his mouth. She tasted so sweet. His other hand teasing, gently squeezing. "Yes" Cara said breathlessly "Suck harder" Lin obliged and Cara let out a deep moan.
"Fuck.." his voice was almost a growl
Her hands moved to his waist. Then lower, running over his ass she put both hands on him and pulled him to her, feeling his full cock pressing against her. His kisses were getting more urgent. He knew he wouldn't be able to go for hours tonight.
He broke off and taking Cara by the hand led her into his bedroom, pushed her gently down onto the bed, taking off his t shirt and trousers he straddled her. Cara watched him, the nerve endings in her body on high sensitivity. His cock was straining in his boxers.
Her hands ran up his thighs and fleetingly over the prominent bulge.
"Jesus" Lin let out a long breath trying to slow himself down. He moved his hands to her shorts and sliding them under the waistband he stood up slowly pulling them down while he did. He looked at her naked body beneath him.
"You are so, so beautiful"
His hands worked their way upwards along the inside of her thighs. He traced round her pussy watching her as he did.
"Lin please... " she was almost begging. His fingers moved to feel her.  Parting her he took a sharp intake of air 'God you are so wet' Cara let out a cry as he slid his fingers inside her, expertly finding her most sensitive spot. His thumb found her clit and he gently teased it. He never took his eyes off her, he was registering everything. Her face silently telling him when to go harder and when to slow down.
"I want to feel you in me Lin"
He took his fingers out and sucked them
"I want to be inside you too but damn you taste so good"
He undressed and Cara watched as his cock escaped its restraint.
He looked amazing.
She took in all of him. His smooth taught chest then down to his dark pubic hair and his fully erect cock.
She reached for him but he moved her hands away.
"No, tonight is about you."
He kneeled down and put his head between her legs pushing them further apart, giving him a better view. His tongue licked her clit with long slow strokes gently but firmly. Cara was writhing under him. He started to suck and slipped his tongue inside her.  Cara thought she might explode. He sucked harder and could feel her pulsating against his lips. He knew she wasn't far off.
He slowly moved up trailing his tongue over her body till he was level with her mouth and started to kiss her hungrily.
"See how good you taste"
Cara grasped at Lin's back. Her nails digging in, she didn't want him to stop but it was torture.
"Please Lin I need to have you"
Cara could hardly get the words out.
Lin reached over to the bedside cabinet and pulled out a condom. Standing up he opened it and took it out of the packet. Cara sat up and took it off him. Deftly taking him in her hands she slid the condom over his full length.
Lin lifted her legs and slowly entered her. They both let out a moan and Lin started to move in time with her.
"Lin" Cara gasped. 
"God you feel so good"
Lin moved slowly, feeling every part of her. He felt her tightening against him her breathing getting more rapid as he moved quicker and she matched his pace.
"Harder, I want to feel all of you"
He pushed harder and Cara yelled out.
"Yes, don't stop!"
"Fuck" Lin shouted.
He knew he was close
"Cum with me Cara"
Cara buried her face in his neck  and he could feel her reaching her climax.
She wrapped her legs round his waist taking him deeper still.
He let out a cry and together they felt themselves spiralling.
He felt her closing on him.
She shuddered to a climax screaming his name and he followed, exploding inside her.
They lay in silence wrapped round each other for a few minutes. Their breathing slowing down.
Lin slowly took himself out of her, kissing her, he propped himself up on his elbow.
"I just want you to know I don't usually do this"
Cara was stroking his chest lightly. "Do what?" She asked "Bring a girl to a screaming climax? Because if you never have then you did very well for the first time, 10/10!"
He threw his head back and laughed
"Look Lin, I don't usually do this either. I had no intention of sleeping with my boss let alone sleeping with someone when we haven't even had one date! That's not to say I didn't enjoy it"
She smiled shyly at him.
"Yeah about that...." He said sheepishly.
"I have to be seen to be leading by example, I hope you understand if we keep this between us. For now."
She looked at him.  "I don't gossip, my job is on the line as well"
He pulled her to him so she was sitting between his legs.
She laid back, her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms round her.
He felt all the emotions. This really wasn't something he did, he had never even had a one night stand before. Her words were echoing in his head
"We haven't even had a first date"
But damn he had to admit he felt good. No one had ever made him cum so intensely.
He was fully relaxed for the first time in as long as he could remember.
He nibbled her neck gently, and she traced his inner thigh with her fingers. He jumped.
"Sorry, ticklish"
She turned and looked at him smiling.  There was so much she didn't know, and so much she wanted to find out. She was scared to ask what was going to happen now. Unsure if this was actually a one time thing, or more. She wasn't ready to ruin the moment by asking.
'Just enjoy the now' she told herself.
They both drifted off to sleep locked together.

"Coffee?" Lin asked the next morning.
Cara was still in his arms and as much as she didn't want him to move she had to admit, a coffee
did sound good.
She nodded 'please'
Lin slid out from behind her, walked round the bed and padded out to the kitchen naked. She watched him. Christ he looked amazing.
Her eyes moved downwards, taking in his arms, and the perfect v of his flat stomach leading down to his pubic hair. Even though he wasn't hard anymore, he was still impressive.
She felt a stirring inside her and suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to have him again.
This guy was going to be the death of her.
She slid out of bed when he was in the kitchen and jumped in the shower.
Feeling refreshed she dried her hair as best she could and put on her now dry jeans with another t shirt that he had left out for her. She could hear him in the room, singing full blast to some songs on the radio, the smell of coffee wafting through the air.
"You ok?" He asked when she walked into the kitchen. He was freshly showered and dressed "Sure am, thank you for these"
She indicated to the t shirt.
"Hey no problem" he smiled
"You won't have any of your own clothes left at this rate!" Cara said, then immediately wished she hadn't.
Lin poured her a coffee and passed it to her,  turning his back he dared to answer
"With any luck"
His phone rang - Daveed
"Hey bud, what's up?"
"Lin have you seen Cara at all or do you have her number?"
Cara looked up as she heard her name, Lin looked at her and she shook her head 'No'
"Erm no I haven't, why what's up?"
"I think I've got her keys! I must've picked them up by mistake the other day"
Lin and Cara both raised their eyes to the ceiling
"I'll ping you her number over"
He said
"Thanks Man, I'll see you later"
Daveed ended the call.
"Well at least that saves me having to get a new set" she said
Lin nodded, but he wasn't really listening, in his head his mind was spinning. He had a million and one questions. Had he overstepped the mark. Did he really satisfy her, was she glad it happened, will it happen again?
"You ok?" Cara's concerned voice broke the silence. "You've gone quiet"
He looked at her, his face breaking into a smile.  Taking the coffee from her he set it down on the counter and put his hands on her waist pulling her to him. He kissed her gently, his lips feather light but searching.  She kissed him back and slowly their kissing intensified the passion rising between them.
The phone startled them both.
Lin glanced at the display.
"Damnit!"
He looked at her apologetically.
"It's fine" Cara said "I should really be going anyway. I've got Sasha in at 12."
Lin picked up the call.
"Hi, two minutes?" He muted the caller
"I'll see you there later, I should be in about 3"
"No problem, see you soon"
Lin grabbed her hand as she turned away.  Cara looked at him, there was clearly something he wanted to say but he had already unmuted the call.
"Yes hi, what's new...."
She caught his eye and smiled, stroking her thumb over his hand. She let it go and walked out into the corridor closing the door behind her.

"Yes Long time no speak Matt! How are things London side"

After the call ended Lin poured himself another coffee and sat at the piano.
He was trying to write but his mind kept wandering. He replayed the night in his head. She had made him feel amazing. For the first time in a long time he had felt alive and confident.
He walked into the bedroom. Laying down on the bed he pulled the pillow to him and hugged it close. It still smelt of her. He inhaled deeply picturing her laying under him, he immediately went hard.

Cara managed to get through the morning but she didn't know how. The previous night turning over and over in her mind.
Her thoughts bouncing between daydreaming of a perfect life together, to how it could go horribly wrong, to how she was getting carried away because obviously it was a one night thing.
It couldn't work. It just couldn't. She had been in this situation before. Falling for another Hamilton was NOT on her agenda!
No, best to just say thank you for a lovely night and leave it at that.
She looked at her watch. 2.30. Lin would be here about 3.
Deciding that it wasn't a conversation she needed right now she made an excuse to Daveed about having to go out the rest of the day for supplies.

Lin arrived at the theatre later that day, walking through the familiar doors he suddenly felt nervous.
What if she was regretting it.
Jon approached him wearing his full George 3rd outfit.
Lin let out a low whistle.
"Nothing sexier than a man in a regal robe!"
Jon gave a royal wave. And raising his hand said
"You may kiss my ring peasant"
Lin looked aghast.
"I am not going anywhere near your ring thank you very much"
"Don't destroy my dreams" Jon pouted.  Then looked more closely at Lin
"what have you done to your neck?"
"What?!" Lin jumped, his hand shooting upwards
"Looks like you've been attacked by a cat!"
Jon reached up and tried to move his hand out of the way.
"Caught it shaving." Lin quickly answered "So what scene are we on?"
"Lin-Manuel if I didn't know you better I would say you were changing the subject."
Lin laughed awkwardly
"No story here Jon, other than the fact I need a new razor"
He turned to go into his dressing room
"Hey Lin" Jon called after him
Lin turned to look at his friend, his hand on the door handle
"I love you, but you're a terrible liar"
Jon smiled and walked away.

Lin looked in the mirror, he was going to have to put some make up on those marks or more questions would be asked. It wasn't that he wanted to keep a secret from Jon, far from it. He trusted him with his life. He just wanted to get his own head straight first.
He smiled in spite of himself.
He didn't want to compromise either of their positions here but things needed to be discussed.

Cara sat in Bens kitchen, head in her hands
"What have I done?"
She looked pleadingly at Ben for answers
"More like WHO have you done? The what part sounds to me like you've had a jolly good rogering!"
Cara laughed at his horrific attempt at a British accent.
"You have fucked Lin-Manuel Miranda, and it seems to me you've had a very nice time doing it. I am beyond jealous!  Do you like him?"
Cara sighed,
"I can't say I really know him. He seems like a nice kind guy, everyone at the theatre loves him but there are too many complications."
"You have to speak with him", Ben said "for both your sakes"
Cara put her head on the table
"I shouldn't have let it happen"
"Were you both consenting and did you have a good night?" Ben asked
Cara looked at Ben, a smile spreading across her face.
Ben answered his own question
"And that, Mon Cherie is all I need to know"

The day passed quickly for Lin, with only a few weeks till Hamilton opened there was still a lot to get ready.
He knew that Cara was out for the rest of the day. He had asked Daveed, making out he needed her to sign some paperwork. He also knew as it was Friday that he wouldn't see her till after the weekend.
By the end of the day Lin had made a decision. Shouting goodbye to everyone he quickly ran out of the door.

Cara was sitting in her apartment with a large glass of wine.
A million thoughts racing through her head.
She still had no idea where to start.
The knock at the door startled her
She looked at the clock - midnight. Who would be coming over this late?
She crossed to the door and looked out of the peephole.
"Lin!" She exclaimed opening the door.
"Hi" he looked at her and self consciously produced a bunch of sunflowers from behind his back looking at the floor.
He cleared his throat
"I'm Lin, I've seen you around and wondered if I could take you on a date"
Cara smiled taking the flowers from him.  Playing along she responded "Pleased to meet you Lin, I'm Cara and I would love to go on a date with you"
"Ok, I'll message you the details, I'll book somewhere tomorrow for something to eat, for about 7? Nothing fancy"
"Perfect" Cara responded.
"Ok. Well I'll see you tomorrow." He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it quickly.
Then he was gone as fast as he arrived.
Cara closed the door feeling giddy.
The flowers were beautiful. She realised there was a card attached and sat down to read it.
'..... because neither of us does 'this' without having been on at least one date..... '

She spent time the next day choosing what to wear and by late afternoon had finally decided on
A short floaty burnt orange skirt and plunging top which showed off her cleavage. Casual yet smart with just a hint of sexy.
Finishing off her hair Cara was amazed how nervous she felt
She dialled Ben "Just be you." Was pretty much all she got by way of helpful advice "I mean, you've already slept with him so how hard can it be, and I don't mean his fighting sword, you know very well how hard THAT can be!"
Cara laughed "His fighting sword? For Gods sake Ben!"
"Just have a good time." He responded

Lin checked himself in the mirror. He had opted for dark trousers and a light blue shirt. He went to tie up his freshly washed hair, it was getting long now. Changing his mind he decided to leave it down.
He went to the pile of laundry still waiting to be put away and pulled out a pair of socks.
"Ok, big boy pants on" he said to his reflection.

Cara arrived at the restaurant on time.
She gave Lins name to the server and was led to a table.
He was already there and stood up to greet her, kissing her on each cheek he looked her up and down "wow, you look stunning"
"Thank you" she replied self consciously "I love your hair down"
Lin ran his fingers through it and smiled.
They ordered food and a bottle of white
"So tell me about you, what's your life so far, hit me with the highlights"  Cara was pretty sure her stories were not ever worthy of being called highlights. To her she had a very average life. Still Lin listened intently.
She filled him in on her life, skimming over the part with Matt in it, she had every intention of telling him but needed at least another few glasses of wine first.  Lin was interjecting with his own life stories and soon they were chatting as though they had known each other for years.  A couple of hours passed and it was only during a break in the conversation that Cara realised he had been holding her hand across the table.
"You really are very beautiful" Lin said
Her stomach did a complete flip. Damnit. 
Trying to take the attention off herself she asked him how come he was single.  Lin eye rolled but talked honestly and openly about his disastrous track record.
"So that's why I'm on my own and haven't been looking" he finished "until now...."
Cara knew it was her turn to be honest so took a deep breath
"Talking about previous relationships, I ....."
She was stopped by a sudden high pitched wail "Liiiiiinnnnn! Oh my God you are my hero, please can I get an autograph and a photo"
They were surrounded by 3 girls, all of whom looked like they were about to self combust.
He glanced at Cara with an apologetic look
"Sure" he said kindly.
Cara left the girls simpering and fawning and took herself off to the ladies to get away.
Lin took it in his stride but it was the first time she had witnessed it and the whole thing felt very weird.  Sure, she knew he was 'famous' but they were both round the same people every day who treated him as 'just Lin' so it hadn't really registered. She supposed it came with the territory.
She took her time reapplying her make up and brushing her hair. Checking the coast was clear she made her way back to the table.
"I'm so sorry" Lin said as she sat down
"It's no problem honestly" Cara replied "I've fan girled over people before. I get it"
"I don't mind at all usually, but it does grate a bit when I'm out trying to have some personal time" he sighed, but quickly smiled.
"It's fine, really." Cara said again.
The waiters were starting to clear the tables off round them.
"Think they are trying to hint?" Lin whispered.
Cara laughed
"I think you are 100% correct!"
He paid the bill after quite some time arguing over it. Cara conceded defeat only after he said she could pay next time.
'Next time' Cara thought and her stomach did a somersault again.

It was a beautiful night so they walked back to Cara's place.
She felt very nervous once they had reached her door. Unsure what to do.
"Do you want to come in for a coffee" she asked.
Lin reached out and brushed her hair away from her face. She could hear him breathing long and slow.
He started stroking the back of her neck and Cara felt every nerve tingle.
He kissed her slowly. Savouring her then let out a quiet "aaah shit"
He stopped and rested his forehead on hers. Looking deep into her eyes he whispered "not tonight"he kissed her again before pulling away.
"I've had a fabulous time. Would you go on a second date with me?"
Cara was a little taken aback but nodded
"I've had a lovely time as well, and yes, I would love to go on a second date"
Lin grinned
"Ok, well have a good nights sleep, I'll see you tomorrow."
He turned to go then at the last minute turned back.  Kissing her more roughly he said
"Sweet dreams"

Cara unlocked her apartment and went in. She was so turned on she decided a cold shower was in order.
The overthinking side of her was replaying the last 10 minutes.
"Why hadn't he come in? Was there really going to be another date or was this his way of letting her down gently"
Her phone buzzed with a text
It was Lin
'Hey, I really did have the best time. You have no idea the willpower it took to walk away just now.
I don't want this to be like every other failed relationship. I like you, really like you. I want to take it slow and make this something really special -  if it's what you want as well of course!
I'm in Hamilton for a year  but I know you won't be staying that long so IF things are going well we can make it public then.
I'm really sorry if this is too forward. I just really don't want you to think I'm only interested in sex.
I really hope you feel the same.
If you don't then thats fine too!
Just let me know if I'm reading this really wrong and I promise we will go back to a purely professional relationship'
Cara read the message again.
Just as she got to the end a second time another message popped up.
"Also for a writer I have awful vocabulary when I'm nervous. Note to self. Do not use the word 'really' for at least the next month!"
Cara laughed so loudly her voice echoed round the apartment.
She typed her response
'You aren't reading anything wrong'
She added a couple of kisses then sent another
'You're REALLY not.'
On the other end of the phone Lin exhaled loudly. He didn't mean to open his heart quite so quickly but as usual his feelings overtook his brain and he had typed exactly what he was thinking and clicked send before his nerves got the better of him. He hadn't realised he had been holding his breath until he read her answer.
He shot back a laughing emoji and a love heart
'see you tomorrow beautiful'
Cara felt like she was floating on air  "this shower better be baltic!"
She said to the empty room.

A week later and another couple of  dates under their belts Cara was having a moral dilemma.
"Child! can you make a decision?"
Cara was flustered, she had decided to stop for a coffee on her way in, then thinking that Lin would like one ordered another.
She changed her mind and decided that everyone would think it odd that she was buying him a drink so she cancelled his coffee and was now contemplating buying the whole Company one so no one thought it was strange.
Giving herself a stern talking to she apologised to the server and settled for just one.
She walked through the park enjoying the sun and listening to the birds, were they always that loud? She kept thinking of Lin, the way he kissed, the way he laughed, his whole face lighting up. He had an infectious personality, he was great fun yet caring and kind. She could see why she was falling in love with him. She stopped dead. No, she could see why 'people' fell in love with him. She wasn't falling in love with him.  Nope. Definitely not. Impossible. She sighed and took a drink of her coffee.
"Who are you trying to kid" she asked herself.

She arrived at the theatre early and could hear Lin on stage singing. God he sounded amazing. She made her way round to front of house, trying her best to stay out of sight. She watched him running through a couple of songs for a while,  leaning on the wall hiding behind an alcove, she couldn't stop smiling, he was so animated, so believable.
So.fucking.hot.
"WHATCHA DOING?"
Jon appeared behind her making her jump out of her skin.
"Oh my God Jon! Don't do that!"
He laughed.
"I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist, why are you skulking round here? You can go sit in the stalls and watch"
"Oh I didn't want to put him off" Cara said
"Put him off? Why would you put him off? He's kind of used to people watching him you know"
Jon answered looking puzzled.
"Come on, I'll sit with you for 5"
They made their way to the 3rd row and sat down.
Lin was halfway through cabinet battle and had his back to the audience. Spinning round he immediately saw Cara and his words tumbled out in a garbled mess.
"Ok let's go again"
Tommy instructed.
"Sorry!" Lin shouted to the rest of the cast, "got distracted"
Jon looked at Cara confused.
"What the hell... "
He saw Lin look at Cara and the fleeting smile between both of them gave them away.
"Holyyy Shiiiitt you two have got something going on!! Oh my God! I'm right aren't I?"
Cara looked at Jon pleadingly. "Please don't say anything. It's early days and we are wanting to keep it quiet for now to be professional"
Jon got serious.
"Woah! Ok. No problem. Your secret is safe with me.  Just one thing - you better not hurt him or so help me..."
Cara cut him off
"I don't have any intention of hurting him Jon. I like him. A lot."
He studied her face for a good minute and relaxed a bit.
"Yes, yes I think you do"
Leaving him in the stalls Cara went to her room and busied herself  running through the myriad of sprains that were queuing up outside her door.

Jon took his position on stage and waited till Lin was in whispering distance
"I know"
Lin turned to him puzzled
"I know about you and Cara" Jon carried on, "What I don't understand is why you couldn't tell me"
Lin looked at Jon fear in his eyes
"Ok take 5!" Tommy yelled. "Lin what  is going on with you today? You've just missed your cue entirely. How about you take the rest of the day off and sort your head out, we'll go through this again tomorrow"
Lin looked at everyone with his hand on his heart.
"I am so sorry everyone, I have wasted your time today."
Everyone started to talk at once "It's not an issue". Pippa said "It's just strange because it's you. Steady Lin, you're almost looking like one of us mere mortals!"
Lin smiled at Pippa's kind words
"I'll be back on form tomorrow, I promise" he left the stage and
Jon followed him off.
"Hey, HEY! you aren't getting out of it that easily.
Dressing room. NOW!"
Sitting down opposite each other Jon looked at Lin. "So tell all"
Lin sighed and looked at his friend.
"I was going to tell you, I promise, it's just - I didn't want to jinx it.
We have only been out a few times so it's still new. We don't want to make it public yet until we aren't working together"
"Hmm" Jon said, "Ok I guess I get it"
"It really was nothing personal Jon. I love you, and trust you with my whole heart you know that, I'm just... scared" Lin shrugged
"Scared of what?" Jon asked softly
"Everything!" Lin exclaimed his voice breaking.
"When she stayed over the first night it felt so right to wake up with her there. I'm falling for her, we've only been out a few times, things are happening fast and that scares the shit out of me"
Jon blinked at him
"Hold up! Back up!! She stayed over the FIRST NIGHT! After you had just met?!
Lin-Manuel Miranda you dirty dog!" Jon howled with laughter
Lin realised what he had said
"It wasn't like that! It was the first night yes, but it was natural and amazing Jon, neither of us meant it to happen" he looked at Jon and quickly added "We both wanted it to though!"
Jon raised his eyebrows "Hey chill, you're a big boy you can do what you want..."
Lin cut him off
"It was nothing sleazy though, please believe me. This is so much more than sex...
We haven't slept together again since" His voice trailed off.
Jon leant over and picked up his friends hand. He could see how conflicted he was.
"Hey, if something is meant to be then it will be. You could have waited for 100 dates but would it make any difference to how you feel about her now? So you slept together within hours of meeting. Big deal. There is clearly something special starting here.  Relax and enjoy it"
Lin felt some of the weight lift
"I should've told you"
"Yeah" Jon answered "You should....I forgive you though."
And with that he leaned over and kissed Lin on the cheek.
"Love you man, she better fucking look after you"

The day was brilliant sunshine and gloriously warm.
Cara made her way to a spot in the park just next to the pond, under the shade of a massive oak tree.
Picking up her phone she messaged Lin 'I'm here'
'Great' Lin responded. 'I'll be there in 3'
They had arranged to see each other for a short time before Lin had to go to a meeting. Things had been mad busy for 4 days and though they had been texting and calling into the small hours, even falling asleep with each other on FaceTime they still hadn't had the chance to catch up in person.
Cara ran her fingers through her hair and checked her reflection in her phone. She could really do with some foundation. Still too late now.
She could see Lin walking towards her. He stopped on the way to pick up a discarded baby blanket. Running to a lady with a pram he passed it to her.
Cara watched the interaction. Lin really had no idea. He was just being his normal kind self, the lady was twirling her hair round her fingers and laughing way too loudly. She kept touching his arm when she was talking.
"Back off lady, he's taken" Cara muttered.
He waved goodbye to her and walked over to Cara.
"Hey!" He said cheerily
"Hey yourself, how's your day been?"  She asked.
Lin sat down next to her pulling her to him "Talk later, I've missed you"
He said and kissed her softly.
Cara felt as though she was melting in his arms and returned the kisses eagerly.
Lin's stroked her face as his kisses got more intense.
He let out a sudden soft cry as Cara's hands moved to feel his cock through his jeans. He was already hard.
"I've missed your touch" He said, his voice deep and low.
Shit, she wanted him. Deftly she undid his buttons and slid her hand inside, Lins eyes widened in surprise but he was aware there were people walking not too far away, and although they were hidden by the tree he was biting down hard on his lip so he didn't make a noise.
She traced the outline of him over his boxers then moved them down, her hand round his now free shaft.
He put his head back and moaned "Fuck that feels so good"
Cara bent down. Lin's breathing was fast and rapid. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked down at her.
"Yes," he said quietly. "I want you to. Please"
Looking back up at him Cara ran her tongue over the full length of him, her eyes locked on his.
"Fuck" Lin said breathlessly, he had never felt so turned on.
Cara raised herself up and took him in her mouth. Her hands moving in time with her she sucked gently, her tongue tasting his pre cum on the tip. She took his balls in her mouth and sucked each one in turn.
Lin let out a sound he wasn't even sure came from him.
Cara went back to his cock. He was rock hard, she traced the vein up the middle of his shaft with her tongue taking just the tip in her mouth she sucked gently.
"Please" Lin said.
Cara looked up at him.
"Not yet"she said quietly.
Lin let out a frustrated moan. He was visibly throbbing in front of her.
Without warning Cara put her mouth round his full shaft,
she sucked, hard, and could feel his whole body start to shake.
"Don't stop Cara, fuck, don't stop, that feels so good"
She put her hand on him and moved it in time with her mouth.   Lin instinctively moved with her.  He let out a long cry
"Yes, keep going, keep going" he watched her with him in her mouth and came hard. His body shuddering as he did.
Cara swallowed all of him.
Holding him in her mouth she sucked gently while he came down and his body relaxed.
Kissing his soft pubic hair she lifted herself up to meet his gaze.
Lin said nothing but his eyes were fully dilated, his heart still racing.
She kissed him deeply
"see how good YOU taste"
He smiled kissing her back.
Everything at that moment was perfect. He looked at her. He wanted to shout
'I'm falling in love with you' but nerves took over and the words stayed unsaid.

"You love him" Ben stated matter of factly. "End of"
Cara looked up
"Yes" she admitted "Yes I love him"
It felt strange to admit it to someone finally.
"So what happens now?"
Ben continued.
"I guess I have to tell him. We can stop sneaking around soon and being secretive, I've only got a couple of weeks before I'm back to normal duties anyway so it won't make a difference then"
"Have you told him about Matt yet?"
Cara frowned "No"
"Cara!" Ben threw his arms up in exasperation
"Look I know, I know! l haven't not told him on purpose,  it's just never been a right time. I don't want the dynamics of our relationship to change. I don't want him to feel like he has to protect me. Or make things awkward for him.
I will have a whole adult conversation with him tonight. I promise"
"No cock till you do!" Ben said "promise me"
Cara screwed her face up
"Fuck sake. Deal"
There was a lot of activity when she got to the theatre and faces she didn't recognise.
Thinking it must be a press day she went round the back and straight to her room to keep out of the way.
It was a quiet morning with everyone busy out front so she managed to get the admin side up to date and even made a quick call to her folks.
She still hadn't told them about Lin. She wanted to get everything straight with him first before their feelings were out to the whole world.
Their feelings?
She didn't even know for sure if he felt the same way. What if she professed her undying love and he was just in it for the short term despite the conversations that made her believe otherwise.
What if he had no intention of having a proper public relationship. What if the keeping it secret part was half the turn on for him.
There was a knock at the door which made her jump bringing her back to the present.
She took a second
"come in"
Lin peeked round the door and she felt her face relax

"G'mornin" he grinned "We've got some more people on campus!
I want you to meet my London counterpart"
Lin gestured to the man behind him and Cara felt her whole body turn to ice.
What. The. Hell.
Matt's eyes shot up when he saw her but he said nothing.
Lin was still talking but Cara didn't hear a word. Her head was spinning, she felt like she was going to pass out
"Hey are you ok?"  Lin asked concern all over his face.
"Yes" Cara managed to stutter "Just a bit dizzy, I haven't eaten this morning yet"
Lin pulled out a stool and sat her on it passing her a water and a protein bar he saw on the side
"Eat"
Matt watched the whole thing with a smirk
"Hey it's not the first time I've brought this woman to her knees"
Cara shot him a look, 'cocky bastard.'
Lin was too busy checking on her and didn't hear the statement properly.
"Yes I bet, good looking guy like you must be tripping over the ladies"
He turned his attention back to Cara
"You sure you're ok?"
Cara nodded
"yes honestly Lin I'm absolutely fine"
She pictured herself accepting an Oscar for that performance
"Ok well we will leave you in peace. Matt knows where you are now so I'm sure he will be back. These guys are doing a charity crossover performance with us tomorrow. A British Invasion if you will. We didn't think it would happen due to time restraints but thankfully they have juggled things round a bit"
"Yay" Cara said weakly
Lin carried on "I know it may mean more people for you to see and sorry I didn't mention it sooner, it was very last minute."
Cara managed a smile.
"It's fine Lin. No problem at all"
"You sure you're ok?" His brows were knitted
'"Yes I'm fine now. I promise"
Lin seemed reluctant to leave her but there was a call for all actors on stage. They both turned and walked out. Matt looked back on his way out and blew Cara a kiss

Cara still felt sick 10 minutes later. What was happening! She needed some air, she took herself to the outside area at the side stage door.
She was still shaking so sat down and put her head between her legs.
"Nice to see I still have an affect on you"
She lifted her head sharply
"Not how you would like to think Matt"
"Ah come on" Matt said
"We had a good thing didn't we?"
Cara stood up to her full height and laughed incredulously
"A good thing? A good thing?! You treated me like shit and fucked numerous other women while you were with me, you constantly put me down and made me feel like I was nothing!"
Matt smiled wryly "and you loved it"
Cara was almost speechless
"Fuck, you are so deluded!"
He carried on
"So you haven't told boss man about us then? Why didn't you tell him earlier? You could've just said you knew me, he seems very concerned about your welfare I don't get why.... Ahh.... You are fucking the boss!"
"What goes on in my life is none of your damn business" Cara responded.
Matt was laughing hysterically
"You are! You have actually downgraded!!"
Cara started to protest but Matt cut her off
"...Hey, it's not my fault you are here. You're the last person I expected to see! This could be fun though"
"Fun! You have to be joking, I would rather poke my eye out with a fork"
Matt walked closer and stood in front of her.
"Try and deny you still have feelings for me?"
He was inches from her face.
Cara tried to back away but he had her in a corner
"I don't need to try, I can say with 100% certainty I absolutely have no feelings for you. At. All."
He got closer still, Cara could feel his hot breath on her face.
"Let me remind you what you're missing"
He lunged for her, his mouth pressing hard on hers. He grabbed her and lifted her skirt up before she could move. She could hear him undoing his belt. He had one hand round her neck. The more she struggled the tighter his grip got. He pushed his cock roughly into her, again and again.
Time seemed to stand still.
She tried to scream but his mouth covered hers and all that came out was a muffled cry.
Cara put all her weight behind her and knee'd him as hard as she could in the nuts. Matt doubled over
"You Fucking bitch!"
He spat in between groaning in agony
Cara turned and ran as fast as she could
"You think you can reject me? I'm going to destroy you both" he shouted after her.

She ran for what felt like miles. She ran until she couldn't physically breathe anymore. She ran until the tears stopped.
Her body heaving she stopped and threw up on the pavement.
What the hell did he mean 'I will destroy you both?'
Wiping the tears away and trying to get some composure she saw a small bar.  No idea where she was she went in, ordered a double JD straight up, drank it down in one at the bar, ordered the same again and took it to a small table out of the way.
She had to tell Lin everything before Matt got to him and twisted things into something it wasn't.
She picked up her phone and pressed text message on Lins contact details. Distracted for 5 minutes by his photo. It was one she had taken of him when they were out one night. He was laughing, his eyes closed. Hand on his heart.
"I should have told you everything straight away, I love you" she said to the photo
She opened the message app
'Lin, I have to talk to you tonight. Please. It's important xx'
She pressed send.
The bubbles appeared immediately 'This sounds serious everything ok?'
He continued 'Are we ok? Are you breaking up with me?'
The tears started rolling down Cara's face again.
'No! I am not breaking up with you, but there is something I should've told you before now.'
God how she wished she had. Now it would seem as though she was only telling him about Matt because he had turned up. And on top of it she also had to tell him how Matt had forced himself on her.
'Ok' Lin typed back after a while. Followed by 'whatever it is, it will be ok. Come to mine at 7 xx'
Cara was about to respond when a message landed from an unknown number, it was a video.
Frowning with confusion she pressed play.

"Please Ben come and get me"
Cara was sobbing down the phone
"Slow down!" Ben said, he had only caught part of what she was saying through her cries. Something about a video.
"Where are you? I'm on my way"Cara gave him the address
"I'll be there in 5. Do not move!"
He found her outside the bar pacing backwards and forwards she fell into his arms the second he was out of the car.
"Ok, it's ok, I've got you" Ben soothed.
He managed to get her into the car and drove home as quickly as he could.
Getting into his apartment he put a coffee in front of her. She had been ranting all the way back but he hadn't been able to make much sense out of it all.
"Drink that" he ordered
Cara did as she was told, and as her crying started to subside Ben said
"Ok, start from the beginning"
She told him all about Matt turning up and the subsequent meeting in the garden. Bens face was fire "That's rape. He needs reporting, why aren't you at the station? Why are you so matter of fact about it.  Just because you have history doesn't mean he can have sex with you whenever he wants. This isn't usual you know."
The realisation dawned.
"Shit this isn't the first time this has happened is it" Cara shook her head gently
"I know he was a bastard to you but you've never told me, how can you not have told me?!"
Ben was looking at Cara with concern and sympathy all over his face
"That's why! I don't want anyone to look at me the way you just have with a poor you face" she carried on. "I don't want people feeling sorry for me. I was going to tell Lin the truth, that's what I was messaging him to arrange" Cara said sadly "but then this appeared."
Deciding she had no self respect left anyway she passed Ben her phone. He pressed play.
It was a video of two people clearly having very violent rough sex. 
One of their faces came into view
"That's you!" Ben exclaimed.
"Yep" Cara answered "and the other person is Matt. Unfortunately you can't see it's him because his face is never in the frame"
"You don't really seem to be enjoying it, Did you know about this?"
Ben asked her quietly.
"NO! To both questions. He was always wanting rough sex. It was a power thing I think. I faked orgasms more times than I can remember." She started to cry again.
"He must've set it up without me knowing"
Ben looked down at the phone again. The video had finished and closed down. There was a message underneath it
'Break up with him or this goes public.'
He looked at her
"What are you going to do?"

Lin looked at the clock.
It was gone 7.
He messaged Cara
'Hey, you on your way?'
No response. He frowned. 
'I'll give her another half hour before I start to panic, maybe her battery has died.'
Still he couldn't shake the uneasy feeling

"You can't do that!"
Ben was shouting at Cara.
"You can't just leave and run away, you owe it to Lin to give him an explanation at least"
"And say what? You know that guy
You hired for London, I used to go out with him. Oh no, I didn't tell you, no, I could have done but I was too busy enjoying sex with you to make time. Also he raped me, I'm not brave enough to report it because he's recorded a video of us having full on intercourse without my consent that he will publish if I tell you and ruin both our reputations, and no we can't go to the police because his fucking face isn't in shot and he sent it from an unknown phone"
Cara was hysterical
"Easy." Ben went to her and held her steady "breathe"

"Hi Jon, yes I know it's late, I'm sorry. It's just.. have you seen Cara this evening?  Ok, no problem. I'll pop by her place. Yes I'll let you know if I don't find her.
I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding, I'll see you tomorrow"
Lin ended the call, picked up his keys and headed for the door.
He pushed the elevator button just as his phone lit up - Cara.
"Thank God!" He said relieved but then immediately felt uneasy again when he opened the message.
'Hi Lin, I'm so sorry about tonight. Something has come up. I'll fill you in tomorrow at work. I'll be in around 10. I'm fine. X'
He read the message over again, trying to read between the lines.
She was clearly not fine. What had come up since the afternoon? She hadn't been anywhere except work. Last he saw she was feeling lightheaded but seemed ok.
Maybe she was ill.
Lin hesitated and went back into his apartment.
There was nothing he could do tonight. He was going to have to trust her and wait till the morning.

"Shit I put a kiss"
Cara said.
"I don't agree with any of this just so you know" Ben said.
"I can't ruin his life" Cara replied
"He has worked so hard to get to where he is, I'm not going to be the one to bring it all crashing down. I mean we haven't even said we love each other. 
He will get over me pretty quickly I'm sure. I'll just be the cow who didn't have the courage to finish it face to face, my contract here is ending soon anyway so I'll have to do something else.
I'll take my remaining holidays and unpaid leave for the rest of the weeks."
Ben held her hand
"But you do love him though, don't you?"
Cara was shaking.
"I love him more than I ever thought possible to love anyone, that's why I have to let him go"

The next morning Lin was up early. He had about an hours sleep if that.  Constantly checking his phone for messages. He poured himself a strong coffee,  threw on some jeans  tied his hair back and hailed a cab.

Cara had all her stuff packed. She didn't have much. Most of it was part of the apartment rental.
She has straightened things out with work more quickly than she thought she would, the whole thing taking just a couple of hours.
There were still a few things to sign off but she had been told she could do these remotely.
She took one last look around her place and closed the door.

Lin got to the Rodgers and walked straight past everyone into his dressing room not saying a word.
"What's going on there?" Daveed asked Jon nodding his head towards Lin
"I don't know, but something is definitely awry." Jon responded. "Give him 10 minutes and I'll go check on him"

"You ready?" Ben asked. Cara nodded. She got into the car and Ben put her luggage in the boot.
They rode in silence for a bit.
"You know that creep will get away with rape if you don't report him don't you, he might do it to someone else"
Cara looked at him "I know, and that's something I will have to live with, but I can't do it Ben. I just can't. I don't want to be the victim."He gripped her hand tightly and didn't push any further, this was clearly not a conversation for now.
They got to the airport and he helped her out with her luggage
"Well, I guess this is goodbye"
Cara looked at him sadly
"I'm going to miss you so so much"she said, her voice faltering.
Ben wrapped her in his arms.
"I'll ring as soon as I land." she said "Thank you for everything Ben"
"Are you absolutely sure this is what you want to do? You've fallen for Lin and yet you're prepared to walk away and let someone else live YOUR life with him"
"At least he will have a life with someone else. Someone who isn't going to bring him down"
Red eyed she went through to departures. Her flight was boarding. She took out her phone and sent a message

'Lin. I know this will come as a shock. I can't see you anymore. I've handed my notice in at the hospital and I'm leaving town.
The truth is I don't have any feelings for you.
You filled some time
Don't try and contact me.
Bye
Cara'

Yes that would do. It was blunt and harsh. Exactly as she wanted it to be. She knew it would hurt. She wanted him to hate her. Wanted to come across as the cold nasty one.
She felt as though her heart was breaking
Telling herself it was the kindest way, she blocked his number boarded her flight and turned off her phone.

"Ok I'm going to go check on him" Jon said. Daveed gave him a thumbs up.
He was about to go but Lin ran full speed onto the stage, jumped off, through the stalls and out of the main doors.
"What the..." Daveed looked at Jon and they spun round and ran after him.
They both lost him.
"Where did he go?!" Jon said breathlessly
"Not a clue" Daveed managed to say, bending down to get more air into his lungs.
"That motherfucker is fast!"

"Another"
Sir I think you have maybe had enou....'
"ANOTHER"
The barman poured another tequila, looking at his colleague
"That's about his 10th one"
They both looked at him.
"He looks kind of familiar"

"Try his phone again"
Jon was getting frantic with worry
Daveed calmly tried to reason with him
"We've tried and left countless messages if he wanted us to be there he would call back"
They were both sitting on the floor planning what to do next.
"We need to try Cara" Jon said
"Cara?" Daveed questioned "What does she have to do with this?"
Jon looked at him. Deciding that Lins welfare was number 1 priority at this point
"They've been seeing each other. For a while"
"Fuck.... Is it serious?"
Jon sighed.
"You know Lin, when he falls, he falls hard. He's completely besotted with her but this time it's different. She seems head over heels for him too.  I don't think either of them realised that yet though.
They got together on the first day she came to work. She lost her house keys. She ended up at his and well one thing led to another..." Jon let the sentence hang
"The first day! Lin slept with someone on the first day! Well I'll be.... You think you know someone huh!  Hang on, I picked her keys up by mistake she must've been at his when I called.
He said he hadn't seen her and gave me her number to try. The sly fox!"
Daveed smiled "Gotta admit. Kinda proud of him"
Jon gave Daveed a look then did a double take.
"Wait! You have her number?"
Jon jumped up
Daveed scrolled through his phone and found her under Cara Massage. He pressed dial and put the phone on speaker.
It took a couple of seconds to connect
'The number you have dialled has been switched off, please try again later'
"Damnit!" Jon shouted frustrated.
"Why would she turn her phone off?" Daveed asked.
"I don't know" Jon answered him "But I really don't like this at all. Something isn't right."

Lin's phone buzzed again next to him
The two barmen looked at each other. The guy was slumped in his chair, his head resting on the bar. Clearly out of it.
They had both seen drunks plenty of times before. Guys with issues coming in on the regular to drink away their mundane lives.
This guy was different though.
Casually dressed but smart all the same.
His hair was pristine and his goatee was perfectly shaped.
"This dude has had some sudden bad news he's trying to escape from" one of them said knowledgeably
Lin's phone kept buzzing
The barman picked it up and positioned it near to Lins face to open it.
He answered the call
"Hi"
"Hello?" Jon said bemused "You're not Lin"
"No sir... I'm Tyler... if Lin is about 5'11 with a ponytail and goatee wearing a black hoodie and questionable socks. I suggest you come pick him up. He's completely gone"
Jon got the information he needed
"We're on our way"

"Hooooly Crap" Daveed spotted Lin as soon as they walked in.
"Hi" Jon said to the barmen.
"Thank you for picking up the phone. We've been so worried"
"No problem." Tyler responded "He's been no trouble. He's clearly had a bad day. Managed to down a full bottle of tequila and passed out"
Jon resisted the urge to have a go for letting him drink a full bottle. Tonight was stressful enough.
"Ok" he said to Daveed. "Let's get him back to mine."
Together they managed to man handle him into a cab. Promising to pay a hefty clean up fee if necessary.
They arrived at Jon's and lifted him inside.
He came round briefly when he was put into Jons bed trying to focus on the two faces looking concerned at him but gave up and went to sleep again
"You may as well go Dav. Get some rest. I'll stay with him and make sure he's ok"
Jon stayed in his room with Lin all night. Not daring to leave him on his own in his drunken stupor.
He looked down at his friend
"What the hell Lin?"

Lin slept straight through.
Jon got dressed and sat in the chair watching his chest rise and fall.
He suddenly stirred. Trying to make sense of his surroundings he sat up
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkk"
his hand went to his head. 
"Shiiiit my head is going to explode"
Jon passed him a glass of water, popping a couple of Alka Seltzers  in for good measure.
"Here sleeping beauty, drink this"
Lin scowled at him, screwing his eyes up to try and block out the pain. Taking the drink he downed it in one
"Eugh, that's vile"
"Yes sorry it's not the vintage 2000 sir, but I think you drank the country's supply of that last night"
Lin put his head back on the pillows, rubbing his temple.
"I just wanted to forget Jon" he said quietly.
"And hows that working for ya"
Jon shot back,  looking at Lin he could see the hurt in his eyes and his voice softened
"Hey man, I'm sorry, I was just so worried that's all. What happened?"
Lin stared at the ceiling
"I don't know."
"You don't know?" Jon questioned.
"No, I have no idea. I thought Cara and I were getting somewhere. There was a huge connection between us. We had talked about a future and we're looking forward to being together properly when her time working on the show was over.  Hell, I loved her Jon, I was completely and wholly in love with her - I am in love with her"
He corrected himself trailing off, Jon waited for him to continue.
"I don't understand what's gone wrong. I just don't understand, ... the message.."
Lin's voice broke and he struggled to keep his composure.
"Hey" Jon said quietly, he climbed on the bed next to Lin and held his friend letting him cry.
Jon hadn't got any further with an explanation but knew he wasn't strong enough to talk just yet. Eventually he fell back into an exhausted hungover sleep.
Jon wiped the tears from his own face. It took him a second to realise they were from him and not Lin's.
He covered him with the blanket, and stroked his hair away from his face.
"I wish I could make it all work for you bud, I would do anything to take your pain away right now"
He kissed him on the forehead and quietly walked out of the bedroom leaving him to sleep.

It was dark when Lin finally appeared. Jon had the TV on but wasn't really watching it.
He looked up, saw Lin and turned it off
"How are you feeling?" Jon said
Lin shrugged
"Still a bit rough but ... "
He didn't know how to answer the question. He was feeling completely drained and empty.
"Ready to talk?" Jon asked.
"I don't know what to tell you Jon.
I thought everything was fine yesterday. We messaged as usual through the day. Then I saw her fleetingly yesterday afternoon when I introduced her to Matt. She seemed fine. She needed to eat and felt a bit dizzy but fine.
Then I get these two messages  .."
He showed Jon his phone and let him read through.
Jon looked up frowning.
"This makes no sense... why would she go from telling you she can't wait to see you in the afternoon to saying she had to tell you something at night, then finishing it with no further discussion and completely skipping town?! Something isn't right Lin"
"Correct!" Lin said unhappily. 
"I'm not right, she was desperate to get away from me and clearly I wasn't taking the hint"
"No" Jon said shaking his head "No way, she was totally into you"
"Well clearly," Lin replied sarcastically "Which is why I'm here, a complete mess. On my own. Again."

Matt was whooping for joy. He couldn't believe his luck!
He had just taken a call from Tommy.  Lin was 'ill' and wouldn't be able to do opening night! And probably the next few weeks.
They knew Matt was still in town so had asked if he could stand in.
He didn't bother to ask what was wrong with Lin. He didn't really care.

"How's he doing?"
Daveed caught up with Jon backstage during warm up.
"Broken and exhausted"
Jon replied honestly
"He's trying his best to get back to normal, following all the advice from the doctors but he's not sleeping and he can't remember huge sections of the show without blanking. I don't think he will get back to how he used to be until he gets answers.
So we go round in circles.
I just can't shake that we're missing something obvious here"
"I can't believe we're opening without him" Daveed said "What do you think of Matt?"
"Full of himself" Jon answered without missing a beat.
"Uh huh" Daveed agreed
"He doesn't join in with any of the group warm up exercises. I get the impression he thinks he's too good for us, seems to be a good actor though"
They were interrupted by the tannoy 'beginners on stage please'

Opening night was a huge success
There were a few people who had refunded tickets to later in the run when they were hoping Lin would be back but the seats sold out again just as quickly so it was a full house.
Matt had charmed the crowd who were soon hanging on his every word.
Taking their bows they all came off stage high on adrenaline, congratulating each other.
Jon had to admit, Matt had done an amazing job
"well done" he said walking over to him.  Matt was beaming
"Thank you. I don't think anyone missed Lin do you?"
Jon frowned. Daveed had made his way next to him
"That was uncalled for" he said when Matt was out of earshot.
"Hmm" Jon agreed

Lin hadn't slept at all. Not even the sleeping meds had knocked him out.
He wished he could turn his brain off, the guilt of missing opening night and all the people he was letting down adding weight to his constantly busy thoughts.
He decided that he needed to get out of the house. Taking himself to the park he laid on the ground and looked up to the sky.
His mind was still racing, even after  4 months he had no answers
She had just vanished.
He missed her. Not just her body but he missed her texts, her funny answerphones and FaceTiming when they couldn't meet. He missed her so much it was a physical ache.
He took out his phone and re read all the messages. He knew he had to delete them. Reading them over and over was just adding another layer of sadness, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not yet.
He looked at her last message telling him she didn't care for him and his response
'I love you'
It still sat there undelivered

"You think he's ready?"
Tommy asked
"I think he's got to try"
Jon answered.
"He's been off four months. I'm not saying it will be easy for him but staying in going over things again and again isn't healthy."
Tommy dialled Lins number and together they agreed he would start off just doing two nights. Matt would do the rest till he was ready.

"Good to have you back Lin",
"nice to see you".  "We've missed you Lin!"
Lin was spinning with all the ensemble welcoming him back. They didn't know the full story of why he was off, they just knew he hadn't been well.
He felt all their love gratefully and smiled at them all.
"Thank you! It's good to be back"
"OG HAM IN THE HOUSE!"
Lin turned.
"Well if my ears don't deceive me I think that's OG Jeff!"
Daveed gave a raucous laugh and enveloped Lin in a bear hug.
"You ready?"
"As I'll ever be" Lin replied.

The crowd were electric. Lin got through the show word perfect and the cast got their longest standing ovation ever.
"He's back" Daveed said to Jon
"Yeah," Jon replied but he knew that wasn't wholly true. He had caught Lin earlier looking at photos of Cara and the sadness on his face was still very clear to see.

Tommy grabbed Lin before he left for the evening.
"You good?"
"Yes, all fine! Looking forward to doing it all again"
"What do you think about coming back for a full run. There are 9 months left, you up for it?"
Lin took a deep breath.
"Yes" he said "Absolutely"
"Ok, I'll let Matt know that the day after tomorrow we won't need his help anymore. He will be able to get back to London and continue his Ham journey there"
"Can you thank him from me?"
Lin asked.  "He sure helped me out. Oh! Can you see if he can be around for the end of run party as well? He's been part of this he should be there if he can"
"Roger that!" Tommy replied.

The next 9 months passed quickly. Lin settled back into the role as though he had never been away.
Sell outs every show meant the charity earned big money.
Privately he thought of Cara just as much as before. The sadness still there but just pushed deeper down.  By keeping himself as busy as he could, he kept going.
It had been nearly a year since he last saw her. Occasionally he would hear someone's voice, a phrase, a song that would remind him of her and the hurt would make its way to the surface again leaving him breathless.
He wondered if he would ever move on. 
There were women who wanted to date him and Jon said he should try and at least go for a drink with one of them.
Try to meet someone new, but he wasn't interested. None of them had her spark, beauty or quick wit. He couldn't imagine and didn't want anyone else touching him.

"So we've got drinks, followed by a party at the Sundowner. It starts at 8, will you be able to make it?"
Lin was on the phone discussing the end of run party with Matt.
"Sure!" Matt said. "I'll see you there"

Checking his outfit in the mirror Lin decided he would do.
He had opted for black jeans, and a white shirt with embroidered flowers on the back.
He bent down and got some socks out of the drawer. Grabbing at the nearest he realised he had pulled out the Simpsons ones - The same ones he had on the first night with Cara.
He felt like he had been punched in the chest. He was straight back there. He could picture Cara as clear as day, standing with the towel covering her face. He could still remember how she looked at him wide eyed when he kissed her for the first time.
He still knew how she tasted. He could still hear her telling him to go harder.
Throwing the socks at the wall he let out a frustrated scream.
'Make it stop!'

He made it to the party just as Jon was pulling up in a cab.
"Well look at you!" Jon wolf whistled at Lin.
Lin raised an eyebrow. "Say handsome chap. Would you care to accompany me this fine evening"
Jon fluttered his eyelashes
"Why sir! I surely would be delighted"
Then looking seriously at Lin "Your Jack voice needs more work before filming starts,  that is nearly as bad as Dick Van Dykes!"
"That's what I'm going for, the cheek of it!" Lin said laughing then added "I'm flying tomorrow mid morning so I won't be staying too long tonight."
"Well I better make the most of you then." Jon replied.
"You promise to bring me back some fish and chips?"
"Deal!" Lin said "I'm sure they will travel really well.... Maybe!"

"Fuck sake"
Daveed whispered to Jon.
"Have you seen him" he nodded his head in the direction of Matt who was very loudly trying to chat up a waitress.
Jon turned just as the waitress walked away from him. She pulled a face at Jon as she passed muttering "He's a complete dick" Jon laughed loudly.
"Well she's not wrong"
Daveed said.

Lin said his goodbyes to as many people as he could get round.
He still had some packing to do and  wanted to make sure he was sorted for the 8 months he would be away.
"Mary Poppins" Tommy said whistfully.
"I am so jealous right now, I can't believe it"
"Me either!" Lin said excitedly.
"It's a childhood dream come true!"
"Have a fantastic time"
Tommy gave Lin a quick hug goodbye.

Jon followed Lin out to the cab.
"Take care of yourself while you're there. Remember I'm always on the other end of the phone. ALWAYS."
"I know, and thank you for being here for me the last few months. I really don't think I would've got through it without you"
"You're my ride or die. I hate to see you unhappy. Your princess is out there. I promise"
Lin looked at Jon
"I had my princess. Unfortunately I wasn't her prince"

Jon went back into the party when Lin had gone. He could hear Matt getting louder, clearly enjoying the free drinks on offer.
He spent the next hour being a social butterfly and trying to fit in conversations with as many people as possible.
Spotting Daveed sitting on his own he went to join him.
"Having some time out?"
He asked when he got level to him.
"Yeah, Daveed replied. My back is playing up so wanted to take the weight off for a bit"
"It's times like this you could do with Cara" Jon said sighing.
"Ha!" Matt interrupted their conversation. "Pity she ran away" he slurred as he stumbled past.
Jon and Daveed were taken aback and it took them a moment to register what he said.
"What do you mean?" Jon followed Matt and grabbed his arm.
"Do you know where she is?"
Matt looked at Jon and tried to focus.
"Yes, she's will have gone back to England to be with mummy dearest"
he spat the words out as though they were poison.
"Good riddance I say."
"Hang on" Daveed said "None of this makes sense, how do you know where she is?"
Matt wavered, the alcohol clearly taking effect.
"It's obvious isn't it! She always goes to her mum. It's what she does. Ask Ben"
"Who's Ben?!!"  Jon was getting angry. Clearly Matt knew something but trying to tie all the drunk ramblings together was a work of art.
"For Gods sake don't you know anything" Matt slurred
"She works with Ben. They've been best friends for years."
"How do you know so much about her?" Jon demanded
"We were together for a bit"
Matt said matter of factly.
He staggered off leaving Daveed and Jon looking aghast at each other and trying to piece together the information.
"Shit!" Jon exclaimed. "SHIT. She went out with Matt? Did Lin know?! I asked the hospital for a forwarding address but they wouldn't give it for security reasons
If we can talk to this Ben though....."
Daveed sighed and held up his hand to stop Jon.  "Shouldn't we just let this go. Lin's just started to bounce back. What good will it do to stir everything back up again? She has had plenty of time to get in touch if she wanted"
Jon looked at Daveed
"I know what you're saying, but Lin hasn't got over her. Not by a long stretch, and I refuse to believe she fell out of love with him. It doesn't match up. Nothing does. If I can get him some answers at least it might help. I agree though, we shouldn't tell him anything till there is something to tell him. We might hit another brick wall"
"Agreed" Daveed said
"This is a lot to process"

Ben was late. His bike hadn't started then when he eventually got it moving he had to double back home because he had forgotten his wallet.
He took the steps to the hospital two at a time and burst through the doors.
"Hi Sue" He yelled to the receptionist, running in and swiping his card as he did.
"Wait!" Sue shouted at him as he started to run off.
"Ben!"

He stopped and turned, flustered.
"I'm late Sue, can I sign whatever it is you need later? I promise I'll remember" he turned to go again.
"No! There is someone here to see you"
He looked at Sue puzzled.
"Me?"
Sue stepped to one side and he finally noticed two men standing behind her. He didn't recognise either of them, although his gaydar was on full alert and the white guy was looking seriously fine.
"Hi, can I help you?" He asked.
Jon started to explain
"I understand that you know Cara? We just have some questions regarding her whereabouts"
Ben looked startled
"Are you cops? Has he done it again?"
Jon looked at Daveed, both of them confused
"Again? What.... Let me start again" Jon said
"No we aren't cops. We've been in the charity show run at Hamilton? Cara did some work there?"
Ben nodded so Jon continued.
"Lin-Manuel is our friend. They started a relationship...."
Jon broke off looking at Ben to see if this surprised him
Ben smiled wryly.
"Yes, I know all about it"
"Ok, well that will hopefully make things easier then, we could really do with 10 minutes of your time. No one is in trouble I promise."

Ben looked at his watch. He was already late. May as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.
Sue cut in  "I'll ring ahead and say some very important people are here to see you about the new CPR initiative, you can use the free office over there"
"CPR initiative?" Ben said "I didn't know there was one!"
Sue rolled her eyes. "There is now!'
Ben caught up.
"I owe you one" he said as they walked off.
"Ok so what's going on?" Ben looked from Daveed to Jon as they all settled down.
Daveed spoke first.
"We have a mutual friend - Matt? He tells us that Cara may be with her mother in England?"
"He is absolutely no friend of mine!"
Bens face went from amiable to demon in two seconds.
Daveed frowned but carried on
"We could really do with speaking with her about Lin. He needs answers. She just up and left so quickly it doesn't make sense. We aren't trying to convince her to come back or anything like that, and no judgement. It would just help him move on"
Ben looked at the floor, he was in turmoil.
"I can't" he said finally.
"I promised her I wouldn't"
Jon put his hand on Bens shoulder.
"Hey, just answer one question for me"
Ben nodded
"Did she want to leave him? Had she just changed her mind?"
Ben looked up at Jon
"That's two questions"
Jon shook his head  "Hey I'm an actor not a mathematician"
They smiled at each other.
"No, she didn't want to leave him, and no she didn't change her mind"
Jon felt relief wash over him
"I knew it! Then why?"
Ben shuffled his feet looking down at the floor again. He desperately wanted to keep Cara's trust as he had promised but he was still so upset that she had gone and more so that Matt was still swanning around living the high life as though nothing had happened.
"She had her mind changed for her - by Matt"
Jon leaned forward
"Go on..."
Ben took a deep breath.
"He raped her. Then to make sure she didn't say anything he sent her a recorded sex video that he took of her without her consent and said he would put it on line. Ruining both her reputation and Lin's by association"
The words tumbled out.
Silence followed
"Fuck" Jon said quietly.
"FUCK!"

Ben went over all the details with them once the initial shock had worn off.
"I'm going to kill him" Daveed said
"I always thought he was a slimy little toad,  he needs bringing to justice"
"I agree but how do you do that without damage to everyone else" Ben asked. "There is no way this won't bring Cara or Lin down with it"
Daveed spoke
"She's in England you said?"
Ben nodded.
"Is she doing ok?"
"Define ok," Ben said.
"She's thrown herself into work, taking on all the overtime she can. She's back working as a paramedic.  I know she went on a date with someone recently - just to get her colleagues off her back about never going out, but apparently that went out the window quickly when she kissed the guy and said Lins name"
"Ah," Jon said. "Yep, speaking another guys name would pretty much be a relationship non starter."
"Oh it wasn't that" Ben carried on "He thought she was lesbian"
Daveed and Jon took a moment to register what Ben was saying but when the penny dropped they all started laughing bringing some much needed light relief to the situation.
Jon got serious again his brain whirring.
"Lin's in London... he deserves to know the truth. This isn't something we can tell him over the phone. Especially when he's on his own over there.
I know he's got a week off next month. Don't suppose you both have any holidays coming up do you, anyone up for a trip?"
Daveed shook his head "I've got filming coming up and I'm down to present some awards"
Ben looked sheepish
"I have holidays but no funds I'm afraid, and I don't know about this. Cara trusted me with this information. She's my best friend I shouldn't have even told you guys."
"Hey, I'll cover it...... I insist."
Jon said when Ben started to protest.  "I know what you're saying Ben, I really do, but Lin is OUR friend. The confusion round this whole thing has nearly torn him apart. He thinks that somehow this is all his fault. It's not fair for him to think that if it's not true." Jon carried on "When he knows the truth it's up to him what he does with the information.
Cara doesn't have to know anything till we know Lins move"

Ben ran his fingers through his hair and exhaled deeply.
"Even if the video is stopped. He will still have got away with rape. With no evidence it's her word against his. You do know this could backfire massively and we could end up with neither of them wanting to know us."
Daveed looked serious "That's a chance we'll have to take."

"I hate flying" Ben said. Jon looked at him  "We'll be down before you know it, here have some water"
They were 20 minutes into the flight,  Ben's knuckles were white from where he had gripped the seat
"How about you watch something, take your mind off it." Jon said.
Ben scrolled through the movie selection.
"Think I'll give this a go"
Jon turned to see what Ben was looking at
"Hamilton?" Jon laughed "Are you serious?"
"Yep" Ben said. "I've never actually seen it."
"Well then'" Jon said.
"Enjoy my show"
Ben smiled but the joke was lost on him. Only becoming clear 5 minutes later.

Lin packed up his script and said goodbye to everyone.
"See you in a week guys!"
"Have a good break Lin,"
He waved and took the short walk back to his apartment. It was drizzling but he didn't mind. It was quite refreshing after being in a hot studio all day.
He was looking forward to seeing Jon, his call was unexpected and very last minute but he was excited to play at being tourists with him,  taking in the sights that London had to offer.
He stopped off at an off-licence and bought some cans of cider a bottle of tequila and some wine.
Dinner was sorted - takeaway fish and chips especially for Jon.
"I know how to spoil my friends"
he laughed to himself.

Ben had finished Hamilton and was  staring at a blank screen
Jon turned to him
"you ok?"
"Yes" Ben said "Sorry, yes! It's just.  Lin is a genius"
"He is" Jon agreed nodding.
"Glad you enjoyed it"
"You were amazing as well"
Ben added, blushing.
Jon smiled
"Thank you, I would suggest we can all go and see it in London with Lin, but I think Matt is back with the UK Company.  Probably won't be a good idea if we are all wanting to lynch him"
"No" Ben agreed "I get so angry when I think of him carrying on his life as though nothings happened."

They landed and parted ways.
Ben was going to spend some time with Cara while Jon broke the news to Lin.  They had agreed that Ben wouldn't mention anything until they had spoken again.
After that well, anyone's guess.

Jon got a cab and made his way to Lins place, encountering a barrage of question from his driver on the way who wanted to know all about New York. He was grateful for the distraction not looking forward to the imminent conversation.
Paying him Jon got his case out and walked up the steps to Lins door. He went to ring the doorbell but it opened before he had chance.
"Hey! Missed you buddy!"
Lin threw his arms round Jon and gave him a big hug.
"Come in! Let me get that bag"
Jon followed him in and after an obligatory apartment tour they sat down to have their fish and chips. They opened up a bottle of wine.
"How's filming going?" Jon asked
"Really well, we are on track and everyone is amazing, I'm really enjoying my time here" Lin smiled.
"That's great"  Jon said absentmindedly.
"Ok" Lin looked Jon straight in the eye "Somethings going on, you've looked nervous since you walked in and as much as I love that you're here this was a very sudden decision to fly over."
Jon stood up and walked to the window, his back to Lin, hands raking through his hair.
"Jon, you're scaring me now"
Lin stood up and walked over to join him. Jon said nothing. Unsure of where to start he suddenly found he couldn't speak.
Lin put his hand on Jon's arm.
"Are you ok? Has something happened?"
Jon turned round
"I'm ok, but I need to tell you something and honestly, I don't know where to start"
Silence followed for what seemed like an eternity.
"You know you can tell me anything Anything at all."
Jon walked over to the couch and sat down heavily, his head in his hands.
"It's ...Cara"
He heard Lin gasp and looked up.
Lin sat down opposite him
"What about her, do you know where she is? is she ok, has some thing happened? Tell me Jon, please!"
Jon took a deep breath.
"I know why she left, it wasn't anything to do with you"
"What do you mean? I don't understand of course it was to do with me!"
Lin was getting frustrated.
"For fucks sake Jon! Spit it out"
Jon carried on
"She left because she used to date Matt."
"Matt?" Lin questioned "Matt as in London Ham Matt?"
"Yes" Jon carried on "She went out with him for a year or so when she lived here. He wasn't nice to her. She moved to New York to get away from him to start again."
Jon carried on telling Lin the bits he knew. Lin's eyes never left him.
He took a moment to process the information "Ok, so I get all that, and I get that she felt awkward about telling me but that wasn't enough to make her leave town surely? I still don't understand"
Jon took a large gulp of his wine. There was no easy way to do this.
He took a deep breath and said in one go 
"He raped her Lin, at the theatre, the first day he came, she turned down his advances so he followed her outside the Rodgers and raped her"
Jon had trouble even saying the last part. His voice kept breaking.
Lin was frozen. He could hear Jon asking if he was ok but couldn't respond, his head was spinning and he could hear his own blood rushing to his feet.
Jon jumped up and pushed Lins head down between his legs.
He could feel Jon's hand on his back, trying to comfort him.
Slowly the whooshing sound subsided and he lifted his head
"He raped her?"
"Yes" Jon replied quietly.
You could hear a pin drop.
"So why wouldn't she tell me?"
Lin was more confused than ever. "Did she think I would be angry? Christ Jon did she think I would blame her! What kind of guy does she think I am!"
Jon put his hand on Lins arm trying to calm him.
"She was going to, thats when she said she had to talk to you"
Lin nodded remembering. Jon carried on
"Before she had chance Matt sent her a video..."
"A video?" Lin repeated. "What kind of video?"
"It was a sex video, he had taken it of the two of them without her consent when they were together. Staged the whole thing. She had no idea. He was using it as blackmail."
Jon glanced at Lin, the horror on his face was something he never wanted to see again
"He said unless she finished with you he would put it on line for everyone to see, she had no choice. She knew if she stayed he would bring you both down."
Lin's eyes were screwed up, trying to block out the bad news but wanting to hear the truth
"I still don't understand, why now. Why would he want to bring me down. I've never done anything to him, far from it.."
"Jealousy I guess" Jon shrugged "You have achieved the life he wanted, and you got the girl who left him. He doesn't like to lose Lin, it's narcissism at the highest level"
"JESUS" Lin looked ashen. "Hang on though, he was in the tape too? Surely he will bring himself down as well?"
Jon shook his head "He was clever, he made sure his face wasn't ever in shot and sent the video from a burner phone. There are no links to him"
Lin's eyes were darting round the room, his brain trying to process all the information it had just received.
He felt sick. The thought of someone else touching her was bad enough. The thought of someone forcing themselves on her...
Without warning he picked up a glass vase on the table next to him and flung it on the floor shattering it into a million tiny pieces. It felt like he was looking at his own heart.
His face creased into a frown. Still struggling to understand.
"How did you find out? You know all this information so you must've seen her. Where is she Jon? I need to see her...I have to make her understand this isn't her fault..."
"No," Jon put his hand up to stop Lin talking, telling him all about Ben.
"What a mess" Lin said when Jon had filled him in.
Jon nodded "She loved you Lin, still does from what I can gather despite the fact that neither of you ever said it"
Lin stood up and walked round the room, his hands deep in his pockets.
God to turn time back, he would shout it to anyone who wanted to hear.
His face turned angry
"First thing tomorrow I'm going to Victoria Palace. Matt is finished"
"You can't, not without any solid evidence. He will have you sued to within an inch of your life. Lin believe me, I've been over every option so far and without proof you are stuck, and ultimately it's up to Cara what happens now. This is her call not yours"
Lin looked at Jon about to say something then changed his mind. His shoulders slumped. He was right.
Of course he was right, Cara's body, Cara's life. Yes, ultimately it would have a knock on effect if things got out and Matt decided to drag Lin down too, which was looking very likely but ultimately what happened next was her decision.
"Does she know that I know, does she know that you're here with me?"
Jon poured another drink
"Not yet. I told Ben to hold off saying anything till I had spoken to you.  He has taken a massive risk with this. It could end his friendship forever when she finds out.
You have to be prepared as well though Lin, she might not want to take this any further at all."
Jon hesitated  "or see you."
Lin's eyes filled with tears. He nodded.
Jon carried on
"She has tried to get on with her life and put this behind her as best she can it just might be too much"
"But there's no one else?"
Lin asked hopefully,  hardly daring to hear the answer.
"No, there's absolutely no one else"
Lin stopped pacing and sat down again.
A sudden realisation hit him and he felt as though a fog had lifted from his eyes.
"Shit Jon, she didn't leave because of me. She left FOR me!"

Cara filtered through the roadworks. It had been a long day, she was exhausted but excited. She had missed Ben so much she just wanted to get home and get out of these work clothes before he arrived.
A guy in a white van spotted her bike as they pulled up to the lights did a double take to make sure it wasn't police. Then seeing the words Paramedic on the side wolf whistled at her when she had drawn level with him.
Cara turned her head and looked straight at him.
The lights changed she revved her engine and left him for dust flipping him the finger as she did.
Not very professional she fleetingly thought. Oh well "Fuck it"

She pulled up at her house and parked the bike. Taking her helmet and jacket off ran in and poured herself a double espresso to keep going.
She checked her watch, 1 hour till Ben was arriving. She couldn't stop smiling.

Ben's taxi pulled up at Cara's mums. It was years since he had been here but he could still remember the garden and the well manicured trees. So many memories.
He laughed as he pictured Cara falling into the trees one night after a drunken night out.
Ben trying desperately to drag her out but ultimately failing and ending up with her.
He rang the bell
"Oh my God!"
Cara flung her arms round him. "I have missed you soooo much"
Ben hugged her tight. "I've missed you too"
They went in and sorted him out with his room.
"We have the house to ourselves"Cara said  "Mums away for a couple of weeks. I can't wait till I've saved enough to get my own place. Nearly there fingers crossed.
I've booked us a table at The Crown in half an hour. I can cancel if you'd rather stay here though"
"No, absolutely not! Do they still do the dirty fries and fish finger sandwiches?"
"They certainly do" Cara confirmed
"Well what are we sitting here for then girl! Let's go!"
They spent the next hour catching up with stories about mutual work colleagues and old friends they both knew. A few drinks helping the conversation flow nicely.
"I'm going to the little girls room"
Cara said and excused herself.
Ben smiled. She really did seem ok.
They hadn't spoken anything about the important things and it felt as though there was an elephant in the room but he was happy to leave it for today and just enjoy her company. He had missed her so
much.
As if reading his mind Ben's phone lit up.
A message alert from Jon
He opened it.
"Ok, Lin is up to speed, he wants to meet her but knows it's up to Cara.
Good luck. Call me tomorrow"
Shit!
Shit just got real, Ben wondered if he could leave it for tonight and broach the subject tomorrow but he knew it wouldn't be any easier then.
Cara sat down, "Can you believe our names are still written in the ladies loo! God we were such rebels"
Ben laughed "No way! Well I'm not sneaking my way in to have a look. We only went in to share a crafty cider when we were underage no need now we're old codgers"
"God" Cara said "it seems like a lifetime ago. So much has happened...."
she trailed off and quietly looked into her drink.
"How are you?"
Ben asked "Really how are you?"
"I don't know I suppose is the honest answer"
she looked up at him.
"Some days I'm fine, I can be great for weeks then something small can take me down again"
Ben nodded.
"Have you had therapy?"
Cara laughed
"No! This isn't the States you know. We just tend to get on with things here, stiff upper lip and all that"
Ben took hold of her hands.
"Cara, there is nothing wrong with asking for help. You went through something no one would wish on their worst enemy"
She pulled her hands away
"No, I went through something that was my doing. I should've left Matt the first time I saw a red flag. All the signs were there. I just chose to ignore them."
"You are seriously not blaming yourself?" Ben looked astounded. "No way. Not having that. He raped you Cara. He. Raped. You."
Cara looked down at the floor
"If I didn't keep giving him chance after chance though.... "
"STOP" Ben shouted.
"You gave him chance after chance because you loved him and wanted to believe he could change"
Cara looked up
"No, I didn't love him. The only person I've ever loved is L...."
She stopped herself from saying it.
"You know he loved you too don't you" Ben said quietly
"Well if he did I'm pretty sure he hates me now!"
Cara let out a forced laugh.
"No," Ben wasn't laughing.  "No, He doesn't."
Cara met Bens stare
"How can you possibly know that?"
Ben started at the beginning and filled Cara in on the whole story of how Jon and Daveed had met him.
He admitted that he told them what had happened.
"Oh great!" Cara said angrily "So now Jon and Daveed know as well, what, did you share the video with them as well for good measure?!
I thought I could trust you!"
"Cara,  Matt is getting away with everything! He deserves to be brought to justice!"
"Don't you think that's my Goddamn decision? I can't risk Lin finding out! I've hurt him enough"
Silence
"Erm..."
"Oh God",  Cara said  "Oh my God, he knows doesn't he! Holy Fuck Ben!"
"He deserved to know the truth!"
Bens voice was getting louder
"Jon said he was blaming himself, tying himself in knots trying to work everything out"
"He would've got over it! Given some more time ...."
"How much more time did you want to give him Cara? It's been a fucking year!"
The waiter approached their table "Is everything ok here?"
"I'm so sorry", Cara replied "we're just having a difference of opinion that's all. Can we have the bill please."
They paid and left the pub in silence.
Ben was the first to speak
"There's something else."
Cara threw her arms in the air.
"Of course there is, because one drama is never enough with you"
Ben was hurt but tried to ignore the comment
"Lin does know yes.  He's in London.  Jon flew over with me, he only told him yesterday.
Lin wants to meet you Cara"
Cara didn't miss a beat "No, no way.  He is better off without me. There isn't a way out of this so he doesn't get hurt, how many times do we need to go over this!"
Ben was frustrated. "He is willing to stand by your decision ultimately, but please think about it. Please! It might be what you BOTH need to move on."
Cara took a breath and looked at Bens pleading eyes
"I am so angry with you"
"I know"
They had walked back to her house.
"I need to be alone Ben"

Daveed had presented all
the awards. It had been a while since he was last at the Rodgers and it felt good to be back. He had a quick catch up with Jack the doorman who had been working there as long as he could remember.
They were all ushered to the Garden area out back for some photos.
Once outside he hesitated.
"Hey Jack, can I ask you a couple
questions?"

Lin hadn't slept a wink. He got up several times, put the coffee machine on and walked round the apartment. Jon heard him sweeping up the broken vase about 3.30
He was sitting in the chair staring out of the window when Jon had dressed. As soon as Lin saw him he asked
"Have you heard anything? Has Ben been in touch, will she see me?"
"I haven't heard anything. Look, I'll leave my phone here and turn it way up. As soon as I get a message or a call you'll know"
Lin nodded.
"Try and relax a bit" but Jon knew that was impossible. He felt almost as anxious.

"Ok"
Ben looked up from his morning cup of tea.
Cara repeated herself
"Ok. I'll see him"
Ben grabbed his phone before she could change her mind and dialled.

Jon and Lin both jumped as the phone rang. Then reached for it at the same time. Jon won.
"Hello? Hi Ben, yes all ok here how are you?"
Lin was shooting him a death stare "Jon!!"
"Sorry Ben" Jon continued "Lin just really needs to know... ok, yes I see.
Ok. I understand. No problem"
He put the phone down.
"Well?!"
Jon smiled 
"She wants to see you"

They had arranged to meet the next day.
There was a garden in the grounds of Cambridge Cathedral it never usually got busy so would be private enough.
Jon and Ben were to go along as well but had agreed privately to make themselves scarce after a while so Lin and Cara could talk - IF it got that far.

Lin woke before the sun was up. Pacing the apartment he took himself for a walk by the Thames.
It was still dark.
He played out different scenarios in his head of how the meeting would go. None of them ended well.
Was he doing the right thing? He had been through hell, why was he bringing it up again.
What was he hoping to achieve? Even now he knew the truth it didn't fundamentally change anything. Without evidence they were still stuck in the same situation.
He started to feel the anger rising
How had he not seen what Matt was like. He had always been proud of his ability to read people. This guy however...
He had interviewed him, been out for meals with him, Jesus he had even inadvertently given him a lead role on Broadway. God he must have laughed his head off at that turn of events!
He always seemed charming. Kind even, his run at Hamilton was coming to an end soon but he would still be riding off the back of his success from it for years to come.
The worst part - he was powerless to do anything about it. He couldn't shake the feeling of
guilt.
He stopped and frowned. Disgusted with himself.
"I've been through hell?!  What about Cara!"
Jesus! He couldn't believe how selfish he was being.
Yes he had his heart broken, but she had been broken mentally and physically.
If he had been fooled by Matt then it was clear to see how Cara had.
She must have loved him deeply when they were together.
He felt as though a dagger was going through his heart.
"She must have loved him deeply..."
He didn't know how anyone could ever get over that kind of betrayal

"I'll see you there" Cara said to Ben
"I'm going to take the bike. I want to clear my head before I get there"
Ben frowned "You sure that's a good idea? You're not going to do a runner are you?"
"No," Cara shook her head. "I'll be there, I just need some time to get my head in the right place"
"Ok" Ben said reluctantly "Just promise me if you can't make it for whatever reason you call me"
"I promise"

It was a lovely day so Cara put on a simple black vest top under her bike leathers. Tying her freshly washed hair into a ponytail she didn't bother with any make up. What was the point. No doubt Lin would have a go at her for not being honest and once he had said his piece she guessed she would never hear from him again.
She owed him the chance to say his part. She knew she had hurt him, it was the least she could do.
She put on her helmet and got out her own bike. Slightly smaller than her work one but faster. It let out a reassuring growl when she started it up.
She revved it and opened the throttle down the motorway. Trying to clear her head.

Jon parked the car and waited.
Lin hadn't said a word all the way there and he hadn't pushed it.
"Ready?" Jon said after another 10 minutes of silence had passed.
Lin nodded

Ben waved to Jon across the car park.
They hugged a hello
"This is Lin" Jon said pulling back and stepping to the side
"Hi" Ben suddenly felt very self conscious.
"Thank you" Lin said shaking his hand "I know that you have put a lot on the line for this"
Ben smiled "Oh it's absolutely fine Lin, it's my pleasure. I love Hamilton by the way, you are amazing"
Jon looked at Ben in surprise
"What!" Ben said when Lin's back was turned. "He's a genius.... And seriously hot!"
"I have no words" Jon said quietly
Lin turned back round.
"Where's Cara?"
"She's on her way, she wanted to make her own way here"
Lin nodded 'probably so she can get away quick once she's said what she needs to' he thought.
"She will be here, I promise!" Ben said, his fingers crossed behind his back

Cara pulled into the car park 10 minutes later. Fighting every urge to ride away she had looped the roundabout 4 times.
She owed it to him.
Let him say his part. Then they could both move on.

Ben let out a sigh of relief as he watched the bike pull in.
"Here she is" he said a little too cheerily.
Jon looked at him "You didn't think she would show did you?"
Ben didn't answer.

Lin couldn't breathe. He watched her pull in and park up. She dismounted, expertly putting the bike on its stand.
He watched her as she took off her helmet. She unzipped her jacket and threw it on the back of the bike.
His heart did a flip

"Hi" she said when she was in speaking distance.
Lin said nothing
Jon hugged her close and Cara returned the hug warmly asking how he was.

She turned to look at Lin
"Hi..... How are you?"
Lin tried to speak. He opened and closed his mouth but nothing came out.
"Do you want to go and sit down?" Cara asked him.
He nodded
"I think we will stay here" Jon said
"Give us a shout if you need us."
She smiled at them both

They made their way to a grassy spot under a tree away from the main garden

Cara sat down, taking her hair out of her ponytail she shook it loose.
"You've cut your hair" she said to him
"I like it. It suits you"

Lin managed to take a deep breath.
"Thank you" he said. "It needed to go"
Cara smiled at him
He still had the same effect on her he always did. The hair was different, his goatee had flecks of grey but his eyes hadn't changed.  She looked down to his feet
"Ordinary black" Lin said catching her. "No nerd today, not like..."
His voice trailed off. His eyes full of sadness.
He looked at her properly for the first time and had to catch his breath. She was still stunning.
Even more so than he remembered. She wasn't wearing a scrap of make up just naturally beautiful
He had to look away.
"I'm sorry Lin, if I could go back in time there are a million things I would've done differently"
Lin looked confused "Like what"
Cara lifted her head to the sky
"Everything"
There was silence for a minute before she carried on
"I didn't want to leave you with no real explanation. But at the time it seemed the best way... still does I suppose.  I should've given you the chance to tell me you hated me. I'm sorry"
Lin looked at her frowning
"I don't hate you. Why would I hate you?"
Cara carried on
"Because I treated you like shit! Because I left without a proper explanation. Because I never called you to explain. Because I ran away. All of the above!"
Cara couldn't stop
"God Lin I was a coward.
I let him win, and in doing so lost the one thing I should've held onto with all my heart..."
The tears started to rise and Cara looked away trying desperately to stop them.
Lin put his face in his hands.
"I.Have. Never. NEVER. Hated you.
You were in an impossible situation. Yes I was upset and confused.  Shit Cara I was a mess! I had to give up the Ham role for a few months and take some time out"
Cara's eyes widened and she shook her head slowly "Oh God! No Lin, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry"
Lin carried on "You did what you had to do." His voice got quieter he didn't tell her that Matt had taken over. He didn't feel the need to rub salt in the wound.
"you left FOR me..." he said almost to himself.
Cara didn't try to stop the tears anymore. They were flowing freely down her face.
Lin spoke again
"I wish I hadn't left you alone that day. I wish I'd followed you.  I wish I'd not been too busy...."
"It wasn't your fault Lin. None of this is your fault"
"It's not yours either!" Lin replied his voice cracking.
He suddenly got angry
"Christ I could kill him! How could he do that to you? I...."
Lin slumped over covering his eyes with his hands.
Cara turned to him. He looked so deflated and sad. She just wanted to hold him.
He rubbed his tears away roughly.  "The video.. how bad is it? I mean, would people really care these days? Sex is everywhere"
"It's bad Lin." Cara took a deep breath. It was time to tell him the whole truth. "Matt and I didn't have a normal relationship. I didn't realise it at the time but it was toxic. He hated not being in control of everything. Including me. Sex was just an extension of that for him. He scared me. I did what he asked for a quiet life, until one day he got bored and moved on... Thankfully.
The video is not two people enjoying being together. It's not sex like..."
She stopped
"Like we had" Lin finished the sentence for her.
Cara nodded.
"You must have loved him at some point" Lin asked picking up a twig off the floor and breaking it into pieces
Cara shook her head. "No, I never loved him. Not real love. He had a hold on me but it was never love. Ever."
Lin let that sentence sink in slowly
"There must be something we can do" he said finally "He can't just get away with it"
Cara sighed "Believe me. I've been over it time and time again, the only people coming out of this badly would be me and you, we've just got to let this go, move on with our lives"
Lin nodded but he didn't want to move on, not without her.
"Can I message you?" He asked suddenly "I'd like to keep in touch."
Cara looked at him "I'm not sure it's a good idea Lin"
He tried to smile but his face was full of sadness "Ok, I understand"

"I better go" Cara said standing up "I'm sorry for hurting you Lin. If I thought there was any other way..."
Lin stood up and took her hands in his "promise me you'll find someone who treats you right, promise me!"
Cara's voice broke. "I promise"
Lin nodded.
She let go of his hands and walked away.
She wouldn't ever see him again.

The sudden reality of it hit her.

She wasn't ready to let go.
Maybe they could be friends in time.
Not daring to turn around she took out her phone to message him. Tapping in his name she remembered he was blocked.
She pressed unblock and as soon as she did a text alert pinged up.
Odd.
She opened up the message.
It was from Lin the night she had left - a whole year ago.
It simply said
'I love you'

Cara stopped in her tracks.
Her heart was pounding. He loved her? Even after sending that awful goodbye message he loved her?
What the hell was she doing? She had a second chance and was about to throw it all away - again.

She turned round.
Lin was walking in the other direction his head down

"Lin! LIN!!"
He was too far away.
She quickly replied to his message
'I love you too'

Lin felt his phone vibrate. He read the message. Time seemed to stand still, he turned and looked at her, his heart not daring to believe what he had read.

Cara walked towards him. Tears running down her face.
"I can't let you go. Not again. 
I know this is selfish of me, but I love you Lin. I love you."
Lin took a deep breath and tried to regulate his breathing.
He answered her after a minute "I'm not going anywhere. I don't know how, but we will sort this out. Together. I love you. I've loved you from the first day I set eyes on you"
He looked deep into her eyes and moved to kiss her. Then hesitated. Nervous and unsure. He didn't want to force anything on her.
Cara put her hand on his chest.
This was exactly what she didn't want, him feeling scared to take the lead. She could feel his heart beating wildly.
"Lin" she said softly. "It's ok. I love you. I want you to"
She gently grazed his mouth with her lips and Lin let out a barely audible gasp.
He put his arms round her and his mouth responded.
He could taste her tears.
He wanted to kiss away all the pain  she had been through.
He wanted to kiss away all the
months of uncertainty and hurt.
His hands travelled down to the small of her back and he pulled her closer still. His mouth never leaving hers, their kisses were deep and intense but so gentle.
Neither of them wanted to let go.

Jon and Ben were watching from a distance.
Jon high fived Ben "damn we are good!"
Ben started twerking and Jon looked at him in shock
"Yeah. Let's not do that!" But he laughed all the same.
Jon's phone buzzed "Ha! Daveed! He must have a sixth sense!"
He picked up

"Hi Daveed you'll never guess what we are looking at... Sorry? Oh ok, you go first..."

Jon finished the call and looked at Ben.
He was in shock.
"What?" Ben asked. "What!!"

Lin and Cara were walking towards them hand in hand.

"Guys" Jon said looking at them in turn. "I've something to tell you. We need to sit down."
They made their way to a picnic table and sat round it.
"Jesus what is it Jon, you're white as a ghost!" Lin was searching his face for answers.
Jon took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.  "Daveed has just called. He went back to the Rodgers the other day to host an awards ceremony.
They went out the back to get some photo's - in the outside area."
Jon looked at everyone's faces. Each one completely bemused.
He looked directly at Cara "did you know there are cctv cameras there?"
"No," Cara said. It took her a second
Her eyes widened
"Were they there a year ago?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Jon nodded slowly.
Ben had caught up "Even if they were then I doubt the footage would still be around, I mean who keeps CCTV for a year?!"
"Jack does" Jon replied
"Who's Jack?" Ben asked
Lin took the lead "Jack is the doorman at the Rodgers. He has been there years and is like part of the furniture.  He takes his job very seriously.  Documents all the comings and goings of the theatre. Keeps a record of everything because 'you never know when you might need it'
Turns out he might be right!"
"Did he find anything" Cara hardly dare ask.
Jon took her hand.
"Yes, they looked back through everything and it's all on file. I know this is hard but Daveed has seen it. He said it's clear and there is no doubt it's Matt.
He's pretty sure there's enough evidence to take him to court"
Cara didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Lin put his arms round her and turned so he was facing her
"This decision is yours and yours alone. If you don't want to do this I completely understand.
If you do, you're not doing it alone, I'm with you every single step of the way"
"We all are" Ben said

After some discussion it was decided that Ben would take Cara's  bike back to her house, she was in no fit state to drive.
Jon would drive Lin and Cara back to Lin's and then he would drive back and stay with Ben for a while to give them some alone time together.
They would swing by and pick the other car up the next day.

Once they had got to Lin's and closed the door Cara collapsed in tears. Her body shaking, sobbing into her hands.
Lin sat down next to her. Holding her tight he repeated "I love you" over and over.
Eventually her crying started to subside. Her eyes were red raw and sore.
Lin was still sitting next to her, holding her like he had been for the past hour.
"You need to sleep" he said into her hair.
Cara just nodded. She didn't have the energy to even speak.
He carried her into the bedroom and Cara changed into some shorts and t shirt
"I'm getting a bit of Deja vu!" Lin said smiling.
Cara smiled weakly at him
"I'm sorry Lin, we should be celebrating getting back together tonight"
"Stop. We have the rest of our lives to celebrate, tonight you need rest. You've been through hell today"
She crawled under the sheets. Lin laid down next to her and she drifted off to sleep cradled in his arms.
"I love you" Lin said and kissed her forehead.
"I love you too" she managed to respond before she crashed.
He stayed with her making sure she was in a deep sleep before he dared move.
Silently creeping out of the bedroom he closed the door.
He picked up his phone and dialled "Hey Daveed"
"Hey man, how are things going? It's been a day huh?"
"And then some" Lin replied. "I just wanted to ask, are you sure this will stand up? Is it completely clear? I want to get a lawyer on it straight away. Get this bastard his due"
Daveed fell silent for a second. "I can send it you if you want. I'll warn you though, It's not an easy watch. In fact how about you don't watch it and I'll just forward it to your lawyer to look at?"
"I have to Daveed. If this is going to court I need to see it before it's shown to all and sundry there. I need to see it so I can help Cara through it. I need to know what I'm up against."

"Ok" Daveed said eventually "I'll mail the file now"
Lin said goodbye and poured himself a large drink. He had a feeling he was going to need it.
His e mail pinged.
He sat down drink in his hand attached his phone to the tv and pressed play...

The recording probably lasted for 15 minutes tops. 
It took Lin an hour to get through. He had to keep stopping it to get some composure, fighting through sheer anger and pain. He stood up and shouted at the screen "Run Just run!" He felt helpless as he watched her. Matts hands tight round her neck. Lin's heart was breaking.
He wanted to kill Matt. He watched as he pounded himself into her. Cara's face petrified.
She didn't stand a chance. He let out a silent scream and swung his fists at the wall punching it again and again until his hands bled eventually falling to the floor Exhausted.

He woke up a few hours later. The room was dark and cold. The tv black in the corner. The only light from the street lamps outside.
He uncurled himself from the floor and slowly stood up pulling the cable out of his phone and turning the TV off.
Cara was still fast asleep thankfully.
The moon was full and lit up the bedroom. Lin stood for a few minutes and just looked at her illuminated in the light sleeping peacefully.

"This will not tear us apart" he whispered "I love you. I'm so proud of how far you've already come"
He undressed down to his boxers and settled next to her. Holding her. He needed to feel her close as much as she needed him

He wasn't sure how long they had slept for. He woke up disoriented. Stretched and flexed his fingers.
His hands were in agony.
Cara stirred next to him
She turned to look at him.
"Morning" she smiled.
Her hands moved to stroke his face
Lin took her hand in his and kissed it.
"Lin! What? Your hands!" Cara was suddenly fully awake. Taking his hands in hers she looked at them, bloodied and swollen
"What's happened, what have you done? Have you hurt someone?!"
"No one is hurt" Lin answered "Just the wall and my fists"
"Why? What?" Cara was confused.
Lin took a second.
"Daveed. I asked him to send the recording over. I wanted to see if it was clear enough....." he saw the horror on Cara's face
"You watched it." She said. Lin nodded slowly
Cara picked up his hands and kissed each bruised knuckle gently.
Lin winced with pain.
"I didn't want you to..." she whispered "I didn't want you to because I don't want you thinking of it everytime you're with me. That's one of the reasons I left Lin.
I don't want your pity. I don't want you feeling sorry for me"
Lin turned away exhaling deeply.
His whole body tensed up.
"I'm sorry, I just had to see... I needed to...FUCK! I wanted to make sure there's enough evidence to bury the bastard" he finally blurted out his voice getting louder, he started ranting
"He has lost me a full year of happiness.
He broke us both. He's taken me, you and everyone else for idiots. Thinking he can reign supreme and control us all." Lin's voice raised to a shout "How dare he... how dare he hurt you. How dare he put his hands round your neck. How dare he force himself... how..." Cara wrapped him in her arms as he broke down
"It's ok Lin, it's ok"
"No" he said quietly. "It's not, how can we get over something like this? I don't mean getting justice. I mean us. How do we move on?"
Cara held him at arms length
"You are not Matt, and I am not scared of you." He stared at her
"Lin, I love you, make love to me"
He shook his head. "I don't think I can....."
"Ok" Cara said. "Then I'll make love to you."
"But..."
Cara silenced him with a kiss. He was hesitant at first but slowly started to relax. She kissed him
Long and slow. Taking her time to taste him.
So familiar yet new. She carried on until she felt him responding and relaxing. She moved him gently down on the bed and ran her hands over his chest. Lin let out a long sigh. Her touch felt amazing. She bent down to kiss his neck then slowly flicked her tongue over his nipples.
"I love you" Cara said. "I want you, I.want.you"
Lin looked intently at her.
"Can I show you how much I want you" Cara asked quietly.
He just nodded.
She took off her clothes and taking Lin's hand moved it down. He could feel the heat of her pussy.
She moved so he was just touching her
Spreading her legs wider she
Guided his fingers inside her.
He slowly started to feel her.
"God Cara, I've missed you" he found her G spot and felt her body reacting to his touch. She whispered his name "Lin"
He looked up at her and carried on with two fingers inside her. Feeling her gently. He circled her clit with his other hand slowly, feeling it swelling
Cara flung her head back "Jesus Lin, that feels so good don't stop"
He moved his fingers deeper and quicker. Cara moved her hands to his cock. "Aah" he let out a cry as she touched him.
His eyes closed he was concentrating on savouring every moment.
Still in complete control she took his fingers out of her and sucked them.
Lin's eyes shot open.
"No one has ever made me wet like you" she said to him
"Fuuuckk" his voice had dropped. "¡A ver Cara! show me what you like" she smiled down at him she loved how he reverted to Spanish when he was turned on.
"You. I like you." She took his cock in her mouth deeply. Moving slowly up and down. Sucking gently.
Lin was grabbing on to the bed
Desperately trying not to cum.
When he thought he was beyond the point of no return Cara stopped and kissed him. When she could feel his breathing slowing down she opened her legs more and guided him into the right position
"Jesus! Please Cara. Take all of me."
Cara took his hands in hers and raised them above his head. Concentrating on his face as she gently took just the tip of him inside her
His eyes were watching as his cock moved in and out.
"You are perfect" he managed to say through cries of ecstasy.
Cara let go of his hands and reached back. Her hands on his thighs. She raised herself up then  let herself down on top of him, taking all of him inside her.
Lin shouted out "Fuck yes!" His body arching upwards
Cara was riding him slowly. He had one hand on her waist moving with her. The other was on her pussy, his thumb stroking her clit as she rode him, she could feel every move, could feel him deep.
She got faster and he was crying out with each thrust.
Cara felt herself letting go
"Lin!" She shouted breathlessly "Take me, please"
He moved quickly so he was on top not missing a beat. Cara shouted out "Don't stop Lin, I can feel you, cum for me"
Lin cried out. "Cara, eres el amor de mi vida"
He pushed deep and felt her body tense around him
"I love you Lin." Cara said between gasps. "I... fuuuck" she cried out as she came
Lin felt her and came hard with her. His whole body convulsing as he filled her completely.
They kissed for what seemed an eternity. Neither of them wanting the moment to end.
"I don't ever want to be without you again" Lin said "You complete me Cara"
She smiled at him "I'm not going anywhere, you're stuck with me now"
They spent the whole day in bed. Re learning each others bodies.
Making love slowly and tenderly,  occasionally shedding a few tears for lost time.
Cara's stomach rumbled.
They both laughed. "When did you last eat?" Lin asked.
When she couldn't think of the answer he took charge.
"Ok, get up. We need food!"
They found a small restaurant close by, ordered a couple of drinks and some food.
"I guess we need to talk about what happens now" Cara said after they had eaten.
"We do" Lin agreed reluctantly, he looked at her "Do you want to take it further?"
Cara hesitated. "If I don't there is every chance he will do it again. I wasn't strong enough to do it on my own, but with you next to me... yes. I need to see this through"
Lin nodded, relieved.
"You can change your mind at ANY time. Please don't ever forget that.
I can make a quick call now and get the ball rolling....?"
Cara took a deep breath. "Yes. No time like the present"
Lin walked out of the restaurant and made the call.
Cara stayed where she was while he rang
After 20 minutes Lin returned.
"Ok. I've sent the file and Steve says we absolutely have a case"
Cara looked worried "even though we had history? Couldn't it be twisted that we had just had an argument or something...."
Lin looked at her wide eyed.
"An argument? Cara.... Jesus!"
He look at her incredulously
"Let's get one thing straight. What he did to you, how he's treated you isn't right. None of it is right. None of it. We need to meet Steve tomorrow and go through everything with him. I need you to get out of the mindset that somehow you deserved this or that it was 'just how your relationship was' people do not treat people they love like that. No excuses.
Hey come on. It's ok." He said as Cara looked to the floor. Tears welling up behind her eyes.
"Will he still work at Hamilton?" Cara asked.
Lin looked at the ceiling and exhaled deeply. "I don't have a choice at the moment. Steve said he could counter sue for loss of earnings and unfair dismissal if I do anything yet.
Let's be real here. I'm throwing everything at the best lawyers there are. If anyone can win the case it's them. I don't doubt though that when Matt knows what's going on he will go in just as hard." Lin took a long drink of wine.
"It's a fight I'm more than ready to have"

They drove to the lawyers the next day.
Lin was nervous as hell but tried not to show it. He had to be strong for Cara.
The introductions done they sat down and went through everything.
Cara spoke openly and honestly.
They went through the cctv video together.
Lin stayed with her holding her hand all the way through but he kept his eyes on the ground.
Cara found the message that Matt had sent her and played the video.
Lin left the room while it was on. It was one step too far for his heart to take.
Steve pushed his chair back and stood up calling Lin back in the room when it was finished.
"Ok, we have a double whammy. The CCTV is a given win, no contest. The video, while obvious that you were absolutely not enjoying it could be all circumstantial. He can contend that your mannerisms and reluctance were all part of the act. What's more we will only have something if we can prove it was him. Which unless he trips himself up. We can't.  You do realise this will become a high profile case? We can try and put a silencing order on it but by the very nature of who you are Lin you know that the press will pick it up."
Lin nodded. "I'm prepared for that"
Steve looked at Cara. "Are you? Your private life is suddenly not going to be so private." he sat on the desk.
"I can slam an injunction on the video and the cctv footage so it doesn't see the light of day, we need to keep the evidence quiet so Matt doesn't see it coming but the fact remains you are in court for a rape case. That I can't hide"
Cara looked at him.
"If my private life isn't private anymore but it means I've stopped him doing this to someone else.... then I'm ready"
Steve nodded. "I'll get his papers served. For something as serious as this we are looking at a court date of possibly 6 months?"
They said their goodbyes and on the way out Steve looked over at Cara walking out of the door. He shook hands with Lin "tough cookie that one."

Matt was raging.
She was taking him to court? How dare she.
He laughed.
For a sex video! That didn't even have his face in.
She didn't stand a chance but how dare she. How dare she try and ruin him.

Cara kissed Lin goodbye
"Don't go" he said in between nuzzling her neck.
Cara smiled "Lin, I've got to work. And so do you" she pushed him gently away.
"Aaaah" Lin groaned loudly.
She made her way to the door "I'll call you in my break. Hope filming goes well" she had one hand on the door handle opening it.
Lin walked over quickly and pushed it closed. His hand moving her top up he moved her bra out of the way and took her breast in his mouth.
Sucking gently.
Cara gasped
"We are both going to be late!" She said breathlessly
"We've got 5 minutes" Lin replied.
"And believe me it's not going to take longer than that!"
Lin dropped his trousers and Cara took hers off frantically. They were laughing as they tried to undress quickly.
Lin looked at her standing in front of him naked. Her back pressed to the door.
"Jesus. I must have done something right in another life. I can't believe you're mine"
Cara looked at him. He looked so vulnerable standing with nothing on, but his erect cock was telling her this wasn't the time to be gentle.
She reached for him, his lips urgently kissing her. Opening her legs he entered her quickly completely lost in the moment.
He had her hands in his holding them against the door frame.
He went in hard and fast.  Not stopping for a second.
Cara couldn't catch her breath, the intensity was like nothing she had ever felt before.
It was rough, hard, fast but full of love. She felt completely safe.
"Yes Lin," she shouted "Fuck me, fuck me!"
Lin was slamming into her relentlessly.
"I love you." He shouted
"I love you"
Cara lifted her leg round his waist so he could get deeper
"Harder"
The door frame rattled as Lin put his full weight into it.
Cara watched him, his eyes closed, his face full of ecstasy.
He let out a long cry and she felt him come inside her. She came shortly after.
He stood back, his hands on her shoulders. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I just needed ..."
"Don't you dare apologise" Cara smiled "I needed that as much as you did"
He nodded.
"We are so late!" Cara laughed.
Lin looked at the clock "Shiiit"
They laughed hysterically as they tried to find respective pieces of clothing. 
Cara gave up trying to find her knickers and hurriedly pulled her trousers on.
"Commando it is!" She laughed.
They raced down the stairs together. Cara got on her bike and Lin hailed a cab.
"Later!" She shouted to him "I love you"
Lin jumped in the cab "Love you too!"
She smiled all the way in to work.
He really was amazing.
She knew there were hard times ahead but with Lin by her she wasn't scared anymore.
A call came in over the radio.
"129, we've had a call from a man complaining of chest pains."
Cara accepted the address that was sent through. Carrington Woods, someone had obviously gone out for a walk and got in trouble
"129, I've got this one control"
She turned on the blues and sped off.

"Did you get dressed in the dark?" The director was peering at Lin over his glasses
"Erm no," Lin answered raising his eyebrow. Looking down he noticed his t shirt was inside out.
"Just really needed a coffee this morning" he said laughing. His put his hands in his pockets embarrassed and felt a strange bump underneath.
"Sorry! I'm just going to... I'll be back in a minute"
He went into the gents and took his t shirt off, turning it the right way out.
Moving to his jeans he felt the bump again "what the hell..." he took them down and something fell to the floor.
"No way!!" Lin laughed till there were tears rolling down his face. He picked the offending item up.
Cara's Knickers.
It took him a good 10 minutes to compose himself.
He looked at his reflection in the mirror "You are a serious actor. Behave like one!"
He winked at himself and walked back out.

Cara slowed down as she approached the woods. There was only one main footpath in. She hoped that the guy wasn't an off piste explorer.
"Control, do we have any idea where he is?"
Her radio crackled. The signal wasn't great
"His phone seems to have died. He said he was on the main path though. About 10 minutes from the car park"
Cara grabbed her bag and set off on foot.

"I think we'll call it a day!"
The director beamed.
Fantastic work today everyone. It's really coming together.
"Take an early dart. I'll see you all tomorrow"
Lin waved goodbye to everyone and stopped outside to sign a few autographs and have some photos.
He went to get out a pen and he felt Cara's Knickers still in his pocket where he had quickly pushed them earlier.
He realised his fingers were stroking the material as he was talking. He smiled to the small crowd and made his exit.
He didn't know what it was with Cara but he just wanted her all the time. He couldn't wait to see her again later.
He looked at his watch. An idea forming in his mind. He wasn't going to wait till later.
He made his way to the hospital. A selection of pastries, sandwiches and soft drinks in a bag.
He knew she was due a lunch break about now. It was a beautiful day, an impromptu picnic was on the cards.
He walked up to the reception.
"Hi, erm is Cara around at all. I mean, I don't want to disturb her if she's busy obviously. I just wondered if she was free for some lunch" he held up the bag.
The receptionist showed him to the control room. "If you wait a moment they may be able to help you"
She went off and had a word with someone.
"Hi" he was approached by a lady wearing black trousers. A headset round her neck. The words Police Command Officer
embroidered on her top.
"I understand you're looking for Cara?" She asked him smiling.
"Yes" Lin replied I was just going to take her out for a bite to eat in her break. If she's not busy, I'm Lin, her ....."
"I know who you are" the lady smiled warmly at him
"She's on a call at the moment. Not sure how long she will be but you're welcome to wait just here till we know more?"
Lin smiled back. "That would be great. Thank you so much.... Erm..."
"I'm Pam" she shook his hand. 'Well Cara, you lucky lucky girl' she thought. She turned back to him. "Take a seat!"
Lin sat and waited just outside the room.

Cara carried on walking.
She was sure she had been going for longer than 10 minutes.
She took out her radio and heard a rustling next to her.
"Hello?" Nothing. She carried on but heard it again "Hello? Is there someone there?"
She saw a flash of light from the corner of her eye and turned coming face to face with a blade
"Don't fucking move" the voice said.
Cara still had her hand on her radio. Pressing the emergency button on it she tried to stay calm.
As soon as it was pressed her whereabouts were sent back to  Control. They could hear everything she was saying but Cara couldn't hear them.
A siren went off and everyone seemed to spring into action.
Pam turned the volume way up so the whole room could hear.

"So what are you hoping to achieve?"
Lin lifted his head up, that was Cara!
"You kill me with that knife then what? Are you going to leave me here for someone to find? Then what? Carry on as normal?"
"God you think you're so fucking clever"
Lin froze, the other voice was unmistakable - Matt
"We have to get to her NOW!"
He stood up dropping the bag on the floor.
Pam was already one step ahead of him.
"All units, proceed as directed.
Man Holding one of ours at knife point"
Pam looked at Lin. She knew it wasn't usual but could see how distressed he was.
"Come on" she said "You can ride with me"

"How did you know it would be me to answer the call?"
Cara tried everything she could to relay as much information back to control without Matt catching on.
He shrugged "I didn't. I just got lucky. If it wasn't you I would've just walked the other way and tried again another time until it was you"
Cara carried on "We are here alone, just the two of us. The main car park is only 10 minutes away though. What if someone comes now?"
Matt scoffed. "So what if they do. You'll be dead then anyway."
"Do you think people won't know it's you who's done it? You'll go to jail for the rest of your life, and for what?!"
"No one knows I'm here" Matt smiled menacingly.
"What do you want from me Matt?"
He pressed the blade harder into her neck.
"I want you to admit you love me. I want you to admit that you can't get anyone better. I want you to admit you've made a mistake with boss man and I'm all you want. No one is better than I am. I'm willing to forgive you..."
Cara looked at him and spluttered "you are willing to forgive me?!"
You made a video without my knowledge and raped me repeatedly. But you are willing to forgive ME?"
Matt looked at her, dead behind the eyes. Still clutching the knife
"We were good together though, we loved each other" he said quietly
"NO!" Cara yelled. "We were toxic Matt. You don't know how to love.
The only person you love is yourself." She knew she had to play for time "If you get some help you could find someone who genuinely loves you. You could be happy..."
"Does he make you scream when he's fucking you?.... Does he make you shiver when he's inside you?" Matt was whispering into Cara's ear. The knife still at her neck.
She felt sick but kept calm

Where the hell were they.

The array of police cars rolled into the car park. Their sirens turned off. Silently getting into formation they made their way down the path.

Pam looked at Lin
"You stay here with me" she said quietly. "Whatever happens you must stay in this car. I'll already be in trouble for you being here as it is."
Lin nodded, not taking his eyes off the path.

"I think we should have sex" Matt said matter of factly
Cara was running out of time deciding it was safer to play along at this point.
"Why not? I've missed it!" She said trying to look as though she didn't have a care in the world
Matt looked closely at her
"You're lying" he said getting angry.
"Why would I lie?" She said calmly "Lin is ok in bed but he's not you.
You're the only one who knows how to really get me going"
Matt frowned trying to decide if she was telling the truth. Then smiled.
"See I knew I was right" his hands went to her top and he roughly grabbed her breasts through the material.
Cara winced. She could feel tears starting to rise. She had to stay strong.
She turned her head to Matt and kissed him taking him by surprise.
He pulled away at first then started to kiss her back roughly.
The knife fell to the floor

Cara was suddenly pulled backwards, everything happened at once
"Don't move! We've got you surrounded put your hands in the air!"
Matt was circled by police all pointing their guns at him.
He looked at Cara sadly
"You won't do better than me though"

Matt was frogmarched back down to the car park. Cara followed on behind accompanied by a female officer.

Lin saw Matt first.
He couldn't contain his anger. He opened the car door and ran over to him. Ignoring the police he thumped him straight in the face. Matt went down like a sack of potatoes. Lin was on top of him throwing punch after punch, unable to stop himself.

Cara ran over "Lin stop! Please stop!" She tried to pull him off but he was high on adrenaline and couldn't hear her
Two officers got an arm each and lifted him off.

Cara grabbed his face in her hands
"Stop. It's ok. I'm here. I'm ok. I'm ok"
Lin's face crumpled. He held on to her for dear life.

Matt was groaning on the floor.
"Fucking madman I'll take him to court for grievous bodily harm."
He spat out some blood next to him.
"Sorry about that path" Pam said
"Very uneven" you've taken quite a fall there...."
The Officers round her smiled

Back in Steve's office 2 weeks later Lin asked "So that's it? Nothing more to do?"
Steve smiled at them both.
"Nothing. He's admitted everything. Holding Cara at knifepoint. Rape, the video. Everything"
He's looking at 25 years at least.

Lin looked at Cara
"It's over."

Getting off the aircraft in New York Cara smiled. She didn't think she could be any happier.
Lin was counting the cases to make sure they had all arrived with them.

"Let's go home." He said smiling at her. Cara nodded
"Need to get you some keys cut as well, and probably a spare set as well just in case, because we all know what happens when you don't have a spare set" Lin raised his eyebrows and Cara thumped him playfully.

There was a welcoming committee of two waiting for them.
Ben ran to both of them the second they got out of the cab.
"Oh my God I'm so happy you're both here. For good. I can't believe it!"
"Believe it" Cara said hugging him close.
"Come on" Jon said, let's get this lot inside. I've bought this to welcome you both home." He held up a bottle of bubbly

They entered the apartment and dumped the cases.
"They can wait" Lin said. It was so good to be back home with his friends.  Even better now Cara was staying for good as well.

Jon spoke.
"We've got news" he looked at Ben.
"We're getting married"
Lin looked at Cara, his eyes wide
Cara was just as surprised
"When did this... I didn't even realise! OH MY GOD! Congratulations both of you. How did I not realise?!"
Ben smiled.
"It's ok, you've both had a lot on. We haven't flaunted it"
Lin held Jon in a tight hug and kissed him "I'm so happy for you"
Ben held up the champagne.
"I think now is a great time to open this!"
Jon was placing 4 glasses on the counter.
"Good idea" Lin said "but we only need 3 glasses"
Jon stopped and looked at him.
Lin walked over to Cara and stood behind her wrapping his arms round her and resting them on her belly.
Cara turned to him and nodded
he smiled his face full of love.

"Are babies allowed at the wedding?"