Alice finally agreeing to sneak out '77
-Marls
JILYYY '77
-Alice
Marls corrupting Mac '77
-Moony
The gang '77
-Lily
Padfoot and Moony smokin hot '77
-Prongs
Teddy <3 Feb '77
-Moony
Regulus '77
-Teddy
Teddy's perspective
January passed quickly and soon the bitter chill of winter and the horrors of the war started to fade from the halls of Hogwarts. Although our training in the Phoenix Society continued we soon fell into our regular rhythm of parties and trouble making.
Remus' prefect privileges have made our lives even more frivolous than they were previous years. We soon discovered that the prefect bathrooms act as an excellent smoking hole as few teachers were ever likely to check A) a bathroom, B) a PREFECTS bathroom. Therefore (with Remus' password) we began using the prefects bathroom as a meeting spot for cigarettes and catch ups between classes. It was fun, although our lungs probably suffered. We didn't care. I'm sure our nicotine addictions were becoming quite relentless but the subtle bitterness of burning tobacco made any fear of lung disease flutter away.
As an added bonus Remus looked very fucking sexy smoking somewhere he definitely shouldn't be. He gave up on protesting against our actions long ago and couldn't refuse a smoke while watching all of us.
This of course did not end well.
One particular Tuesday between 4th and 5th class period Professor McGonagall happened to stumble into the prefects bathroom to grab a tissue for a first year with a nose bleed in the corridor outside it.
"Excuse me! What in the name of Merlin do you think you're doing? Potter? Black? Malfoy? Lupin!? I expected better from you, all of you. Detention, tonight, be at my office at 7pm tonight. And if I ever catch any of you smoking in the castle again there will be severe consequences!
Out! All of you! NOW!"
We all shuffled out of the bathroom like embarassed sheep.
"Well fuck" James laughed and ruffled his hair.
"Mama Minnie was maaadd." Sirius jeered.
"Lads I'm in big trouble, Minnie's gonna kill me. She could take away all my privileges, she could take away my badge and make some dimwit like Cattermole prefect. Do you think Cattermole would let you all gallivant around the castle at night?"
"Oh cmon Moony don't worry. Minnie doesn't care that much. I'm sure I've seen her smokin in her office a fair few times. Especially when we've pissed her off." Sirius attempted to comfort Remus.
"Yeah and besides she'll just make me prefect if she gets rid of you." James grinned.
I give him a swift elbow in the ribs and he cripples over slightly.
"Ow what the fuck Malfoy."
"That wasn't helping Potter."
"Hey cmere." I take Remus' hand and lead him away from the dimwits slightly. "It's gonna be fine, we've done far worse. You know I'll fight in your corner if they try to do anything. Mayyybe we should just lay low for a while, and find a different smoking spot." I say with a smile.
Remus' shoulders relax and he wraps his arms around my waist.
"Mmm yeah you're right, it'll be fine. Thanks love."
"Mhm I gotcha." I peck his lips and he smiles pulling me under his chin and kissing the top of my head as I breath in the smell of his shirt.
"Alright so we need a new smoking hole."
Sirius announced as we entered the Gryffindor common room.
"Wait what? What happened to the prefect bathroom?" Marlene questioned anxiously.
"Got caught by Minnie." James grumbled, falling back onto the nearest couch.
"Fuck! I was just about to go for a smoke. Do you think I could risk the dorms Ted's?"
"Not during the day, no way."
"Fuck, well what about the room of requirement?"
"We've been using it too much already. We can't risk someone else finding out about it just for the sake of a smoke break. It could jeopardize the society." Remus explained, looking convincingly serious.
"Okay well where then? I'm dying for a smoke!"
"Yeah me too..." Alice piped in and we all turned to her slightly shocked.
"Reallllyyy Alice Fortescue is a NIC addict now huh? Guess longbottom really has changed you!" Sirius exclaimed.
"We'll figure something out, just everyone put your thinking hats on alright." James said determinedly.
***
After our run in with McGonagall and our common room meeting I decided to head down to the library until dinner so I could get some study done. The fact of my impending detention was weighing on me and I knew I wouldn't have any time for homework or study afterward.
The Library was quite quiet, with very few students hanging around. Usually whispered conversations and the rustling of books echoed through the halls of the library but it was almost spookily silent when I entered. Tuesdays...I suppose.
I headed straight to the Potions section. Slughorn has been kicking my ass as of late and I have a test on poisons and an essay on the positives and negatives of liquid luck all due this week. I pull a few books on poisons off the shelves and an extra gold spined book about liquid luck. I find a desk settled at the back of the library away from any other possible library attendees. With my books splayed around me I begin scribbling notes down on my parchment and getting ink all over my hands.
I find myself in a nice rhythm and the rest of the world sinks away as I am swallowed whole by the books around me. Although I'm struggling to understand some of the concept in these books on poisons. They're rather complex. I push the hair that's fallen into my face away with the back of my hand and try not to worry about smearing ink all over my face.
The quiet of the library and intensity of my chosen topics allows me to completely forget everything else going on in my life. That is until someone taps me on the shoulder, frightening me out of my skin.
"BLOODLY HELL!" I exclaim, jumping in my chair.
The person beside me quickly shoves a hand over my mouth to shut me up. I look up in shock and slight fear to see a pair of sea-grey eyes staring back down at me with a slight mischievous glimmer. Their eyes are far too familiar and yet different to the usual ones I see glaring at me from across common rooms and classes.
"Hey " he whispers and smiles softly. His hand still on my mouth I place my hand on top of his and move it away.
"Hi?" I say slightly questioningly as he looks at me playfully and laughs slightly.
"What?"
"Oh nothing you just uh, here." He sits down in the chair beside me and licks his thumb. He brings his arm up to gently rest on my head and begins rubbing his thumb on my forehead.
"Ink..." He says simply, showing me his thumb before continuing to clean the ink off my face.
"Oh, thanks." I laugh slightly. I lean my body closer to him so he can get a better look at my ink covered face. Our knees are almost touching as we sit in what's practically silence.
"Slughorn killing you too?" He asks, glancing down at the desk scattered with potions books and notes.
"Mhm" I hum tiredly, trying to hold back a yawn.
"Yeah he's kind of the worst, he keeps trying to recruit me for some Slug Club. It's like he's trying to collect me or something."
"Cause me is." I shrug.
"Creepy."
"Yeah." I laugh. "Slug Clubs really not that bad though. There's always good food at his dinner parties and he has a great Christmas ball every year."
"Yeah you're not really selling it for me Ted's."
"Hm alright....Ted's huh?"
"What?" He says slightly confusedly. "Oh, right, sorry it's just that's what Sirius calls you I just... Sorry."
"You don't have to apologise Regulus."
"Right...yeah.."
"I like Teds, it's one of my preferable nicknames, definitely better than what my parents call me."
"And what's that."
"disgrace, or sometimes if they're feeling funky, shameful. Cute right? I think they're rather charming."
He laughs and brings his hand to rest on his knee.
"All done, you no longer look like the giant squid attacked you."
"Thanks" I smile softly and look down at my hands.
Sometimes regulus confuses me. One minute we're laughing like old friends and then he'll ignore us all for weeks.
"Hey Reg?" I whisper still staring at my hands in my lap.
"Yeah?"
"What's going on with you?...why are you so...distant."
"I'm not distant Teddy I'm right here." He snaps slightly.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you or anything it's just... I worry about you Regulus."
"Well you needn't Theodora." He says grimly.
We sit silently for a second and I wait to hear the scraping of his chair as he makes his exit. But it doesn't come. Instead I feel a warm palm on my knee, squeezing it comfortingly.
"I'm sorry for snapping, I just haven't been feeling well lately. Thanks for worrying about me."
"Yeah I mean, you're my friend Reg. Of course I'm gonna worry."
"Right.." he grimaces slightly, clenching his jaw.
"What?"
"Hm?"
"What's wrong Regulus? Cmon talk to me."
I scoot forward in my chair so my knees are crossed between his spread ones. I space a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. He stares down at the floor.
"Nothings wrong Teddy. I told you I just don't feel well."
"Bullshit, talk to me. What's going on in that big head of yours."
"I don't know it's just... Sometimes it feels like I'm just a fucking reject or something. Like I just tag along with everyone because they feel bad for me or something. No one wants me and no one loves me and no one ever will!"
"Hey! Hey Reg stop." I cup his face with my one hand and hold his shoulder steady with the other.
"You are so kind, and smart and beautiful. You are not a reject Regulus. You are so loved, and not because your Sirius' little brother, but because you're funny and caring and understanding. It doesn't matter to us about your up bringing, or your house, youre just Reg. And we love you the way you are.
I...I love you the way you are Regulus."
His blurry eyes meet mine and I smile. I wipe the tears from his cheek with my thumb and pull him in for a hug. He cries quietly on my shoulder for a few minutes while I stroke his hair gently until finally he lifts his head.
"Thanks Ted's." He whispers softly our bodies still entangled with arms wrapped around eachother. His face is mere inches from mine.
"Of course, I meant everything I said Reg."
"You're so beautiful Teddy." He whispers, eyes flickering to my lips.
"I um... Reg I-" My mind races with thoughts of Remus. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be doing this. He's just a friend. I was just comforting a-
My mind stops as Regulus captures my lips in a kiss. His lips are forceful and his hands pull me closer.
"N-" I try to push him off slightly but he's determined.
"No Regulus!" I say as soon as he pulls away slightly.
I push myself out of his grip and stand out of my chair.
"Regulus I can't."
"Shit Teddy I just- I tthought-"
"No stop please I can't...I just- I can't okay."
"This never happened."
"But it did happen Regulus! Fucking hell what am I gonna do. Fuck fuck fuck." I ramble to myself, tears prickling the corners of my eyes as I stuff books and notes into my bag.
I stumble out of the library as fast as possible, Regulus desperately calling after me. Tears begin to fall as I shuffle through the hallways trying to get to McGonagall's office as it's almost 7pm.
As I'm running down a corridor I trip on a loose stone and all the books in my hands and shoved into my bag fall out, scattering all over the ground. And just to make a bad day worse an ink pot falls and shatters every where.
"FUCK!" I scream and fall in a blubbering mess in the middle of inky shattered glass and parchment.
Tears stream quickly down my face as sobs wrack my body.
What the fuck have I done.
I've ruined the best thing that ever happened to me, and with my best friend's brother of all people.
Fucking merlin I'm an idiot.
"Bloody hell!" A familiar voice exclaims and I hear footsteps nearing. "Teddy? Merlin what's happened? Are you alright? Is that blood?"
I don't dare to look into his eyes as large steady hands grasp my shoulders. I glance around me and notice the ink splattered everywhere was a deep red shade.
"Ink." I whisper before realising the irony of this night and launching into another round of sobs.
"Fuck don't cry darling it's okay it's okay." He pulls me up and to his chest and holds me close, kissing my head and swaying us gently. This of course only makes me feel worse.
"I'm so sorry, I'm disgusting." I say quietly as my voice cracks with strain."
"Hey, get now you are anything but disgusting my love. Now cmon let's get you cleaned up. Cmon it's okay."
I sit against the wall of the hallway staring at the ink on my hands as the odd tear falls down my cheek. I've ruined everything. How do I tell him I've ruined everything. He's so happy right now. Even as he cleans up my mess he's so happy.
Maybe I should wait. Maybe that's best. Maybe it's better to pretend it never happened.
Regulus would never tell, and neither would I if it meant I could keep Remus.
I'll wait.
"Alright darling cmere let's clean you up." He easily helps me up and guides me to the nearest lavatory.
His eyes are full of concern but I can see a slight glint of mischief as he lifts me onto the counter next to the sinks.
"Must remember this spot for later." He whispers cheekily.
I give him the best smile I can muster but quickly cast my eyes down.
I don't know how I'm going to keep this from him.
At least he hasn't asked about-
"So what happened love?" He asks gently as his hands brush over my skin taking ink and pieces of glass with them.
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fucking fuck.
What am I supposed to tell him?
I tripped?
No that wouldn't explain the crying.
"Nothing." I say through practically gritted teeth.
Yeah, that's not gonna work.
"Nothing? So nothing is why you were just balling crying in a pool of ink?"
"I-"
"Just tell me what's going on love, I can help. I'm always here to help you. No matter what it is."
No matter what...
He loves me no matter what...
Maybe...
Maybe I should tell him.
Maybe he would laugh it off and think it's hilarious.
Maybe he would tell Sirius and they'd both mock me about it for years.
Or.
Maybe his eyes would fall.
His jaw would tense.
His hands would form fists.
And he'd storm away and never speak to me.
Or worse.
He'd scream and shout and hit me like...other people.
I can't.
I can't do it.
I can't risk this.
It. Never. Happened.
"I tripped and um...Its well, my time of the month."
"Oh, ohhhh. Fuck I'm sorry baby. Do you want me to get you anything? Are you sore? Do you want to go to the hospital wing."
"No, no I'm fine I just... FUCK!"
"WHAT?! ARE YOU OKAY!"
"No! We have detention and we're late! Fuck cmon!"
I grab his hand and we run out of the bathroom, Remus grabbing my bag on the way out.
*****
"Mr. Lupin, Ms. Malfoy, nice of you to turn up. You were aware this detention began at 7pm sharp? Not, 7:15?"
"Yes professor, we're ever so sorry. You see Teddy had a bit of woman's problem." Remus said very seriously.
"Ah...well... I see... in future Ms.Black I'm sure you could've sent someone to inform me that you would be slightly late. Let's forget this for now. You will be joining your classmates scooping fluorescent algae from the lake for Professor Sprout tonight. Please make your way to the far side of the black lake immediately. Hagrid will be supervising you from afar but I'm sure as sixth years you are responsible enough to handle this with composure. Professor sprout will be expecting at least 8 buckets of algae in at the door of her greenhouses tomorrow morning. Good evening."
With that McGonagall swept out of her office leaving Remus and I alone.
"Well then, let's get going shall we. We've arranged some reinforcements for tonight which should greatly improve the enjoyability of our task." Remus grinned and grabbed my hand and bag dragging me out of the office and down hallways and staircases.
When we reached the black lake the air was crisp and cold. My body shivered uncontrollably due to my lack of cloak and jumper.
"Hey hold on a second." Remus stopped me in my tracks. I stood watching him with my hands wrapped around myself.
"You're so stupid coming out in only your shirt. Is this just your way of getting another one of my jumpers? I swear your just using me for my clothes!"
"What??? No, no Remus I just- I forgot and I got stressed and I left my cloak in the-"
"Hey, hey I'm joking. Calm down darling I'm sorry I forgot you're hormonal as fuck right now. I should know to be nicer than usual. Count sarcasm out for the next few days alright?"
"Yeah um thanks..."
"Here." He held out a hand with his large woollen jumper as he used his other hand to shrug back on his cloak.
"Remus really there's no need, I'm fine."
"Oh would you stop it." He laughed stepping closer and shoving the neck of the jumper over my head. " You are visibly shaking with the cold, besides I'm fine. Warm bodied." He said with a smile and wink. I pulled on the rest of the jumper and smiled slightly at the warmth and smell of Remus which engulfed my senses.
He grabbed my hand and dragged me further around the lake, grinning to himself and looking down at me every few minutes to check I was alright.
My eyes remain cast downwards despite feeling his on me. I could feel those amber eyes from a mile away.
"Remus stop staring."
"Staring? Me? Noooo." He laughed then leaned in close to my ear and whispered. "I'll never stop staring at you Teddy." And pressed a kiss to the top of my ear.
"You're weird."
"You're grumpy."
"Who's grumpy?" Another voice interjected and I looked up to see a gaggle of our friends spread around a small fire with buckets of a glowing substance strewn around them.
"Teddy's grumpy." Remus smirked.
"Our Teddy! Is grumpy?" Sirius gasped. "Why darling Teddy, what hath made thee grumpy this fair eve?"
"You're making me grumpy Black." (Which was true although said to the wrong black.)
"Oh well you're being a party pooper Malfoy, cmon we're celebrating."
"And what exactly are we celebrating."
"Well young one, we have found our new and improved smoking hole!" Sirius said gesturing around to the small inlet next to the lake.
"This patch of grass?"
"Yup! Moony charmed it so it won't rain here didn't-cha moony?"
"I did indeed dear padfoot!"
"And it's secluded enough that no teacher can see us unless they're right on top of us, it's perfect! Cmon come have a cig it'll cheer you up grumpy guts."
"Fine." I said with a smile creeping onto my face.
The night was spent with plenty of cigarettes, current wine, and lake swimming. Remus was laughing and smiling all night. He kept kissing me and holding my hand. Staring at me from across the fire when he thought I couldn't see him.
He's so happy.
I can't tell him.
I won't tell him.
Ever.