"Wow! A plot chapter! This hasn't happened since...last December!"
Boss says shut up.
"What, is he too scared to tell me himself? YOU HEAR ME SHORTASS!? I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU! FIGHT ME COWARD!"
The various passerby shot Y/N a glance before going about their day. Koneko stood next to him with an unamused frown.
"This is the worst part of being with you. You're so cringe, it's not even funny."
"Cringe or be cringe Neko, a man named Max0r taught me that."
"Oh boy, you set him off now." Ophis rolled her eyes.
"Expose a person to cringe long enough, and they will no longer be B A S E D."
"He may be cringe, but he is free."
"Don't enable this, Supernova."
Hey, yeah. Back to me. So, you may be wondering what was happening right now. I mean, it has been a few months. The summer break had come to a close, so Y/N made it his mission to make himself a big fucking problem.
"It's hard not to be, a menace to society!"
Yeah, shut up. A few of his antics on the first day back included vandalizing the fountain by chiseling the spout into the shape of a dick.
"Kek!"
He then went on to toss a brick through the windows of every single clubroom.
"That took more time then the chiseling did, believe it or not."
And finally, he guessed the password to his teacher's laptop and poked around his files before discovering some child pornography. True to what he said in the past, he then took a baseball bat and beat the shit out of him.
"He deserved worse."
And that leads us to now, the second day of school.
"Wonder if they managed to get a new teacher in such a short amount of time." Xenovia thought aloud.
"If they didn't, we're going to Karaoke."
"Absolutely not! That devil music is cursed!" Xenovia shot down Y/N.
"You just have poor taste." Koneko stated bluntly.
Eventually, the gang made it to school and started heading off to their classrooms. Y/N had sat down at his seat before Hideki walked in and sat next to him and Issei.
"Yo."
"Aren't you in a different class?"
"Yeah, but I don't feel like getting yelled at by my teacher. Hoping to make a good impression on your new one so they let me hang out here."
"Hell yeah, I'll vouch for you." Issei responded.
Y/N watched as the two did a sick and elaborate secret handshake. "Hold up, since when was this a thing?"
"Ah, we came up with it when you were in that coma during our training." Hideki answered.
"And you didn't think to include me!? I thought we were tight man." Y/N grumbled.
"Ahem!" A female voice cleared their throat as they entered the room. Something about her voice commanded the attention of everyone present and they turned to look at her.
"Oh hey, it's that chick! Erm, what was her name again?" Y/N casually answered.
The woman narrowed her eyes. She shook her head and addressed the class. "You all may call me Rossweisse-sensei. I'll be replacing your homeroom teacher for the rest of the year."
"Oh yeah, how the hell did I forget that?"
Y/N's apparent familiarity with the new teacher planted a thought in the brains of everyone else in the class, yet nobody dared to voice it in fear of Y/N.
"First order of business. When I call your name, stand and state your full name."
Y/N tuned out as she went through roll call. Absentmindedly raising his hand upon his name being called.
//After School//ORC Building Foyer//
"Apologies I couldn't let you all know about this sooner. Lord Odin made this arrangement with Sitri-san five hours ago." Rossweisse bowed.
The entire gang had gathered in the ORC Building, with Rossweisse in tow.
"Why would he let one of his best Valkyries be a teacher?" Issei rose an eyebrow.
Rossweisse looked to the side with a scowl on her face. "He no doubt wanted to enjoy the cabaret clubs, perverted old codger that he is." She had a frown on her face for a split second. "It can't be helped. For the foreseeable future, I will be teaching here. Please, take care of me."
"Jeez, don't need to get too ingrained into our culture." Y/N chuckled.
"A-ah! Did I offend you? My apologies!" Rossweisse bowed once more.
"...Oh, bullying you will be fun!"
"Give her a break Y/N." Rias chastised from her desk. "I'm glad to have you Rossweisse. It's nice to have a mature adult around."
"Uh, hello? Are you forgetting about someone?" Azazel questioned.
"Nope. I know what I said."
"Sooo..." Hideki cut into the conversation. "Any chance I could transfer to your class?"
"Don't give in, he'll cause nothing but problems and Y/N will enable him." Koneko cut in.
"Wah!? Betrayal! Come on, square up fleabag!" Hideki got into a boxing stance.
"With glee!" Koneko got ready to pounce.
"A HUNDRED YEN ON NEKO!" Y/N shouted as the gang got into a circle around the two.
"You can beat her Hideki!" Akeno cheered Hideki on.
"You got this bro! Pound that pussy!" Issei chuckled at his joke.
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Gasper, Asia, and Xenovia chanted.
Rias, Kiba, and the adults looked on. Rossweisse turned to them. "Should we stop them?"
"Nah, this is turning into a common occurrence. The last three times they fought to a draw." Kiba explained. "It'll keep happening until someone finally wins."
"I still don't understand why Koneko refuses to use that power-up Ophis gave her." Rias mumbled.
"Because it's cheating."
Rossweisse looked back at the fighting and felt a mini-migraine coming on. "...Odin give me strength..."
Suddenly, Y/N and Ophis gripped their foreheads.
"Hm? Something wrong Y/N?" Rias asked.
"...'s nothing." Y/N responded while looking at the corner of the room. Unseen to all but Ophis and Y/N was a faint blue light floating and flickering.
"Alright...take it easy though. C'mon everyone! Club meeting!" And with that, the rest of the club went to Rias's office.
Y/N looked over at Ophis. "What the fuck is that?"
"...My father...at least, what is left of him."
"Father? As in capital G, God? The dead one?"
"Indeed..." Ophis ponders for a moment before reaching out and grasping the light.
|...Dear Ophis...I require your assistance...| A voice echoed out, before the light faded, leaving behind a small, heart shaped Idol.
Ophis closed her eyes in thought, seemingly understanding the vague call for help. "...Strange that we should find a remnant of him so long after his death."
"So what? We gotta find more of these things?"
Ophis shook her head. "God, as we know him is dead. Have you ever wondered why God's personality seems to change at various points of the bible?"
"Not really, but he is an asshole early on." Y/N answered Ophis.
"It is because he is a different person."
"...Alright, you lost me."
Ophis held the Idol up to Y/N's face. "This is the physical manifestation of The Holy Spirit. While God is powerful, he has been killed many times, each time returning to this form. I do not know why it manifested so many years after his death, nor why it manifested here...but I know that I must...no, I wish to help reshape him."
"Okay...how exactly?"
"The Holy Spirit's resurrection occurs when presented with a number of suitable human candidates. It reads into the very nature of the souls, and shapes it's personality around it." Ophis held the Idol close to her heart. "I know you care little for Gods, but—"
"Alright, I owe you a ton of favours anyway." Y/N interrupted. "As long as you're happy, I'll help you resurrect your deadbeat dad."
Ophis smiled at Y/N, sharing his playful mood. "Thank you, my dear. We'll need to collect on child support to pay for our eventual wedding anyways."
Y/N blinked. "Wedding?"
Ophis flinched, having simply blurted it out. A light purple hue took over her face. "Y-Yeah? What's wrong with wanting to get married!?" Ophis got very defensive.
"...Nothing I guess." Y/N looked to the side, also blushing.
The idea now placed on the table, the two wracked their brains considering everything. Y/N seemingly coming to a conclusion coughed into his hand. "Well then, for the time being I'm gonna head out! Don't wait up for me."
Ophis watched Y/N walk off, opting to not listen to his thoughts through their mental link for a while. "Yes! That is a fantastic plan! Splitting up to find suitable candidates is a wonderful idea!" She then disappeared into the Dimensional Gap.
"So that happened. Still, good for them." Issei declared as he walked out into the open, him and the rest of the ORC having eavesdropped over the whole conversation.
"How wonderful!" Asia cheered. "The resurrection of the Father, and a wedding! I hope we get invites!"
Koneko shot the boys a glare. "Well? Are you gonna follow him? It's your duty as his friend to give him perspective when buying a ring."
"Huh? When was this a thing people did?" Hideki questioned.
A chill ran up their spines as a menacing aura emanated from Rias. "We are going to make this the perfect wedding, as thanks for everything those two have done for us. Any objections?"
"Nope!"
"Nuh uh!
"No complaints here!"
"N-none at all!"
And with that the four ran out the door like bats out of hell.
"Ahem!" Rias cleared her throat in an authoritative manner. "Ladies! Fall in line!"
The ladies all lined up at attention, Rossweisse and Azazel in tow.
"W-what's happening?" Rossweisse asked in a panicked voice.
"And why am I with the ladies?"
"Koneko, Xenovia!"
"Yes, President!?" The two shouted in unison, shocking the adults.
"You two know Ophis the best out of all of us, your job is to pick out the best possible wedding gown!" Rias barked orders.
"You got it Prez."
"It'll be a pleasure."
"Rossweisse, Azazel. Catering and the cake are on you."
"Seriously? Why was I dragged into this?" Azazel groaned.
Rossweisse took a deep breath, shifting into business mode. "I'm on it boss."
"Akeno, Asia, help me put up some decorations!"
"You got it president!"
"Woohoo! I love weddings!"
This was a very important event for Y/N, she owed it to him to make it the best wedding ever.
////
"HEY Y/N! HOLD THE FUCK UP!"
"Hmm?" Y/N stopped and turned to look at the Boi's running after him. "Oh hey, guess you guys are here because Rias sent you after me? Really, I can't see that far up the page."
Issei sighed. "Of course you knew we were eavesdropping."
"Rias wanted us to help you pick out a ring." Gasper admitted.
"Oh, I already had something in mind."
"You do? That was quick." Kiba asked incredulously.
"I mean, my Mom probably still has her old ring lying around."
Alarm bells rang through the heads of the four boys.
"Bad idea."
"Horrible Idea!"
"Ya got a deathwish or somethin'?"
"Even I'm not that bad with women."
(A foolish plan)
[One would say it is so moronic it could swallow a black hole]
Y/N glared at the rest of the boi's. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize you virgins were experts on proposing."
"Well he's got a point." Issei thought aloud before coming back to his senses. "But it's common sense! Who the hell would want a hand me down!?"
"You'd accept it if the hand me down was a chick."
"Not helping Kiba." Issei gave Kiba a disapproving side-eye.
"Look guys, my Dad cut my allowance and I just recently found out I was whoring myself out for way too little. I'm not exactly made of money right now."
"Ain't you the God of Infinity or some shit? How do ya run out of money?" Hideki asked. Everyone stared at Hideki in silence. "What?"
[Truly, you are all hopeless if my partner is the one to come to the obvious conclusion]
Y/N looked into the sky with a wistful stare. "...I feel like such a fool..." Reaching into his uniform blazer, he pulled out a briefcase filled with millions of Yen. "The economy will be fine."
(What time do you think you're living in? The bubble popped ages ago)
"So, we're on for buying a ring?" Gasper asked. "Because I got a raid I need to do in like 2 hours."
"Then can you guys head back and tell Rias to butt out of this whole thing?" Y/N asked politely. "Last thing either of us want is a formal event."
"I ain't goin' back there. The boss is terrifying."
"Then fuck off somewhere else, I only need one guy to take care of it anyway." Y/N held up a piece sign, vanishing from sight.
"...I hope prez believes he said that."
////
"HE WHAT!?" Rias shouted as she was hanging a garland from the railing of the second floor.
"I mean, I get that you want to help them president, but maybe we shouldn't be planning their wedding for them?" Kiba tried to calm the raging demon that was about to kill the four of them.
"Yeah boss! He ain't even proposed yet!"
"But it's gonna happen!"
"Well, yeah. At some point, probably." Hideki faltered in his arguement.
"Listen Prez, we all owe Y/N someway or another." Issei cut in before Rias could speak. "But that doesn't mean we get to chose how we pay him back. It's up to him at the end of the day."
Issei's admittedly decent arguement seemed to cut deep enough and Rias sighed. "Fine, WEDDING'S OFF GUYS!"
"Aw...I was so excited..." Asia frowned, taking down some of the streamers she set up.
"Can we atleast keep the cake?"
//Fujita Residence//
Yui was standing in front of the mirror in her room, shuffling awkwardly. Gathering herself, she cleared her throat. "Hear me~ Calling to you, Eons~ I've been waiting t—OOO!?!?!"
Suddenly Ophis appeared out of a portal to the Dimensional Gap and dragged her through. "I apologize for startling you, and I understand you probably don't want to see me but this is important!" Ophis spoke frantically, still wearing the blush on her face.
"What the hell!? I was in the middle of something!" Yui shouted angrily.
"I need to speak to Baka-Red about something important."
Upon hearing his name and the serious tone of her voice, Red manifested next to Yui. "What is it?"
Ophis pulled out the Idol. "I found this."
"Oh, is that all? Here I thought it would be something that needed me, you can handle that yourse—"
"And I think Y/N is going to propose to me soon, so I wanted to invite you to the wedding." Ophis looked away sheepishly.
Yui recoiled. "What...?"
"...Why?" Red asked. "You despise me."
"I did. However, over the past five years, my hatred for you has waned." Ophis began. "I've come to realize just how many similarities we have, and have come to the obvious conclusion that we really should have long before we began fighting. You are my brother, and I want my brother at my wedding."
Red stared into Ophis's eyes, not a hint of malice of any kind. "Hmph, I'll think about it. Now send us back."
"That is all I ask for. Goodbye." Ophis sent the two back through the portal. She felt a sudden surge of power and looked down at the Idol. "Ah, I suppose that makes sense. Yui's soul is shrouded in pain. Though I wonder if you shall inherit her hatred for us, Father..."
Meanwhile, Yui paced back and forth. "Seriously!? You're really considering this!?"
"What? It's just one day. We can go, enjoy the celebration, congratulate the newlyweds, and then to end the night we challenge them to a fight as a send off for their honeymoon." Red explained. "Quite frankly, there's no reason not to go. Unless you're just afriad of social interaction."
Yui let out a frustrated groan. "Whatever, I'm more curious what that one thing is."
"Oh, just God. Don't need to worry about it."
"Mcfucking 'scuse me?"
////
"Whelp, that was a bust." Y/N sighed as he left the Jewelry store. "Not a single good ring." He was exaggerating of course, there was plenty of decent rings there. Just one issue he found. "Why the hell are all the diamonds so massive? At a certain point, it goes from a ring that you can wear to a decoration you put in a glass case."
Y/N crossed his arms and tapped his foot. For the first time in a while, he was unsure of what to do.
"Man, how the hell do people do this shit? All I want is something that she'll actually wear."
Poof!
"Woah..." A random passerby commented.
"Something that matches the colour of her eyes."
Poof!
"It happened again...!"
"Something that is over the top while also being modest."
Poof!
Dink!
"Huh?" Y/N looked behind him to notice a ring had fallen down behind him, exactly what he was looking for.
"Oh, yeah. If I create money, it would make sense to be able to make other things." Y/N thought to himself as he pocketed the ring. "Alright, all that's left now is to propose..."
He was lost in thought for a moment, before realizing something.
"Oh shit...how do I propose?"
////
WE ARE BACK BITCH!
So I finally figured where I want to take the story next. That's right, we're not killing god, we're straight up making a new one.
Also, Marriage arc. Because I'm feel little sappy.