What was I saying again? I keep eating random half eaten foods in my pocket while listening to Pip cry and rant. Pussy. Hes stopped by now and is just sniffing but now im imagining what would happen if he became emo and joined the emo gothy kids... Imagine with me.... I bet hed be soooo ugly.
Hm? I see Kenny walking in this direction and remember hes gonna join the emo kids right along with frenchie. Theyre prolly gonna become friends cause they- HOLY SHIT I JUST GOT THE BEST IDEA!!!!!!!!!!
"Mphm... Mphm... Mphm... Mm? Mphmm? (Titties... Titties... Titties... Hm? Cartman?)"
"Heyyyyyyy Kiinnnnyyyyyyy!!!"
"Mph...? MPH! (Hey...? HEY!)"
Then I grab im and throw im in the bathroom lockin the door! Hahaha! Phase one of my plan... Get Pip and Kenny to become friends...
"MPH MMPHM MPHM MMMPH MMMPHM MMPH!!"
"HAHSHSSSGSGSHAHAHA"
Violate my face? Yea right! Like he could!
Having them become friends shouldnt be hard. Theyre both gay pussy heartbroken faggy individuals who've been rejected! Now time for more spying! Aw fuck theres no more snacks in my pocket!
"Mph mmphm mph mmm-"
"Huh? Whos there?"
"Mph?! (Pip?!)"
"Kenny?!"
"Mphm mph mmm mph?? (What are you doing in here??)"
"Having a break down. And you?"
"Mph mp- Mph mphm? Mmm..? (Cartman ju- Wait a break down? Why..?)
"Rejection... Life."
"Mmphm... Mphm.. Mph mphmm mm... (Rejection... Actually.. I have that same problem...)"
"Do you?"
"Mph. Mphm mph mmph... (Yea. Butters rejected me....)"
"Oh dear you poor soul..."
"Mphm mm mph? (Who rejected you?)"
"Damien did... Rather harshly if I do say so myself.."
"Mph... Mphm... (Oh... Sorry...)"
...
Is anyone gonna speak? Im getting bored goddamnit!
"Mph... (Hey...)"
"Yes Kenny?
FINALLY-
"Mph mm mphm... Mph mm? (Do you wanna... Hang out sometime?)"
"You mean... As..... Friends...?"
"Mph. (Sure.)"
"Oh how delightful! My first friend!"
"Mph mmm mmphm mph mphmm? (I thought Damien was your first?)"
"According to him we arent and never were..."
"Mphm. Mphmm! Mphm mmph mph mmph mmphm mph! (Asshole. C'mon! Lets get outa here and beat Cartmans ass!)"
"Oh I dont think-"
"Mphmmm! (C'mooonnnn!)"
"Oh alright Kenny!"
YESSSS YEAAAAA
Step 1 complete!
I quickly unlock the door and run full speed into a locker to hide but the lockers too fucking small! I kick it. Shitty locker!
"MMPHM! (CARTMAN!)"
Shit. Kennys chasing me now. Shitshitshit-
"Kenny dont you ever have this feeling when your heart tells you to stop but you cannot because the other person wouldnt like to?"
"Mmph mph mmphm mph!"
"KENNY THAT HAD ZERO RELATION TO SEX!"
"Mph mph mm!"
Kennys such a whore! I bet he isnt even a virgin anymore! Oh yea we're like 16-17 in this fanfi-
"Kenny please dont hurt him!"
"Mph mphm mph MPHM mph mmm mph mph! (Oh im gonna do MORE than hurt him!)"
"Why Kenny?!"
"Mm mmph mph mphmm. Mph mphm mph mmphmm mph! (He locked us in the bathroom. Also hes a fat bastard!)"
I swear to fucking god if he just knew what im doing for his poor ass he'd be licking my toes! Gross but I know he would! I feel it in my goddamn balls!
"IF YOU STOP CHASING ME ILL GIVE BOTH OF YOUR POOR ASSES 50 BUCKS EACH!!"
They both stop. Homeless asf fr.
"Have we finished Kenny?"
"Mph mm mphm. (He said money.)"
"Yes. You want your money poor bitches?"
"Mph... (Yea...)"
"I dont really think we should take Cartmans money just because we are poor..."
"Mph mmm. Mph mm mphm. (Fuck off. He said money.)"
Got em right where I want em...
"If you want it... Give me your lunches!"
"Mphm mph mmph mphm. (We dont have lunch fatass.)"
"We never do."
"Fucking useless!"
I throw the money on the floor and walk away. It takes Kenny 3 milliseconds to swoop down and get allat money. Fuckin desperate ass.
"Mph mphm mmphm! (Fuck yourself fatass!)"
"Watch me! Wait..."
"Mphm. Mph mphm mph mph mmph. (Sorry. Dont watch fat gay porn.)"
"FUCK YOU KUNNTY!!!"
"Oh the profanity!"
Kenny can suck my balls! Who does he think he is?! I hate Kunnty McWhoredick sometimes!
*Rages*
Time skip to class
"What are you reading Kenny?"
"Mm.. (Uh..)"
"Oh please let me see!"
"Mphm mph mh... (You wouldnt like it...)"
"I might!"
"Dude why are you staring at Kenny and Pip like that? Why are they even talking...?" Hm... I could use some extra help.....
"Well Stan, both Kenny and frenchie got rejected last night."
"And how the hell do you kn-"
"Not important Kahl! Listen guys."
"AGGGGGHHHHHH KENNNY WHAT IN THE CAMOMILE TEA AND CHIPS ARE YOU READING??!?!!"
"Bunny and Dip are dead. But... What if they werent?"
"What are you talking about fatass?"
"Im glad you asked jew! I have a plan... And step ones already in motion! Kenny and Pip, two broken pussies, become friends!"
"KENNY I CANT BELIEVE THIS!!!! ITS ALL SMUT!!!!"
"Mph mphm mmph mph mmphm mhpm... (Damn dont put me on blast broski...)"
"Okay so thats it?" Oh Kahl you have no fuckin idea!
"Kahl... Im gonna need some help... From you and Stan."
"Fuck no."
"C'mon Kahl!"
"Nope."
"Help me."
"Make me."
"Remember when I sent you to that internment camp?"
"I swear to god if you do that again I will kill you and I wont give too shits if I end up in jail."
"Ooookay. Please Kahl??"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Puh-leaaasseee??"
"No."
"Stan will you help?"
"I mean sure I dont really care."
"Okay fine I'll help." Haha only cause your super best boyfriend agreed!
"Thank you my good pals."
My plan is going so smoothly! Everything will work out juuuuuussstttt fiinnneee!
______________________________________
End of pt. 4
Whos ready for everything to go horribly wrong or perfectly fine?!??!?!