𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒 have to be the worst species ever to exist. Overprotective as hell. Rude as fuck. But deep down they care about their sisters so much. My brother cares too much. I just moved back home to take a break from work even if it is just a little while.
I'm just trying to get this over with so I can go home to my child. I'm just waiting for Shawn to get here.
"You look different, Sapphire." There's only one person who calls me that. I didn't know that they were still friends. "Mr. Caruso, how have you been?" He chuckles. It's been years. "Great, how are you?" I smile. "Good but what do you mean by different?" I've known him for years. The bartender hands me a glass of water, I'm not drinking tonight.
"Different like a woman, your mature." I don't know whether he's talking about my body or personality. "You're only 2 years older than me." I wonder if he knows about Moon. "Not mature personality wise." I knew he meant my body. "Are you flirting with me, Mr. Caruso?" I see my brother walk in.
"Maybe." Shawn looks around before finding us and walking towards us. He hugs me tightly. We haven't seen each other in years. "Diamond, what were and Marciano talking about?" Marciano lets out a small chuckle. "I was telling him about how fun traveling was." I quickly lied. Shawn is the kind of brother to try and kill someone for flirting with me.
I like talking with Marciano alone. I'm honestly glad we didn't talk much when I was younger. It would be weird if we had a relationship where I was like "he's like a brother to me." Marciano is good looking.
The thing about dating is men usually aren't to thrilled when I tell them I have a daughter. It's how I find out whether they're here for sex or not. Most men don't want to have sex if a kid if gonna be in the house bothering them.
It's now 2:43 I'm going home soon. "Hello pretty lady, may I dance with you?" Hell no. "You may not." He frowns at my words. "Why not?" He says "let me buy you a drink." If I tell him I have a daughter will he leave me the fuck alone? Probably "I have a sixteen year old at home." He clears his throat and backs away "Okay." That was easy.
"Shawn, I have to go home." Marciano looked slightly confused but didn't say anything. "Okay, bye Diamond." I hug him "bye Shawn, see you soon Marciano." I grab my purse, walk out of the club and to my car. I fish in my purse for my keys. When I feel them I pull them out and unlock the car door. I get in the car and start it. I begin driving home. My house is about sixty-five minutes away from here.
I never got a number from Marciano. I should've gotten it, I would like to talk to him.
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I pull into my driveway and get out, walking into the house. I shut the door behind me and put my purse on the rack. "You have some explaining to do." I smile at her apologetically. "You left me on movie night. Why would you do that to me?" We have movie nights on the weekends. "I know baby, mommy's sorry. I had to go see uncle Shawn. Do you forgive me?"
"Only if I can ask you a question." I nod "why doesn't dad talk to me anymore? You promised that the divorce wouldn't change anything." I look away from her eyes and down at the floor.
"Daddy's just been..busy. Why don't you get ready for bed it's really late." She nods and walks away. I can tell she's hurt by my answer but she'd be more hurt if she knew that her dad started a new family without her. I hate seeing my baby cry.
Me and Mark had a terrible relationship, it was abusive, but Moon didn't know that. Since I was the one making the money and worked from home we were home alone together all the time. When she was at school he would beat me black and blue and tell Moon that I wasn't feeling well and had to stay in my room. He stopped in the last years of our marriage but it wasn't enough.
I go upstairs to my room and brush my teeth. I strip from my clothes and jump in the shower. Once I'm out I put my pajamas on. My phone dings. I pick it up and look at my messages.
Unknown
Hey, sapphire.
I chuckle at his message because I don't need a name to know that it's him. I make a contact for him and reply to his text message.
Me
Hello Mr. Caruso. Why are
You texting so late?
Marciano
Wanted to make sure this was
the right number.
How did he get my number? From Shawn? Wouldn't he have thought that was weird?
Me
How did you get my
number, Dominic?
Marciano
I told your brother that I was putting
a girl's number in his phone and put
your number in.
So he lied.
Me
I'll talk to you tomorrow I'm tired.
Marciano
One more thing.
Me
Yes?
Marciano
Who's Moon?
Diamond..my sapphire. She got the name because when We were younger her favorite color was blue. But now that we're older it's because of her serenity now. She wasn't like that years ago. She was angry at the world. I don't blame her. There was a point when I was like that. She got through it though. A part of me still hates the world because of the people that occupy it. I've dealt with a lot of rapist, child molesters, and abusers. The more I see the more I hate everything.
But not her. I've never hated her. A part of me always wanted to protect her. I still do and I don't think I ever won't.
Sapphire is the one person who can disrespect me. With others I won't tolerate disrespect towards me but she's different. I've waited too long to say something about how I feel. I want to be the father of her children, Eventually. To take care of her, cherish her and respect her. But I also hope she doesn't want kids. Children can be annoying.
Kids have always been a annoying topic in my life. The pressure of having an heir is horrible. I don't have a problem with having kids. I have a problem with being rushed to have them. I'm in no rush for kids. But my family thinks I need to be married already. I don't need to marry at this age. They just want me to marry someone and have kids.
However they would "prefer" a Italian woman. Just my grandmother though, my mother and father don't care. Which if I stop being scared of telling Diamond what I feel and she feels the same won't happen. She really don't care as long as she has a "lighter complexion" as my grandmother would describe it.
They have very strong opinions on biracial children. My grandmother thinks that race should never mix. I have a different view on interracial relationships. Love can't be controlled. I believe I've already fallen in love with someone and that I've been in love with them since I was a child but didn't know it until now. She doesn't know. I plan on telling her too. Not in public though. She doesn't like the pressure of having to give a polite response in public despite her being uncomfortable.
I want her to be truthful with me and tell me how she really feels about me. However someone might tamper with her answer.
I woke up at seven thirty this morning. Not on purpose but because I'm used to waking up early. I make pancakes, eggs and scream at myself because I'm out of bacon. I guess I'll have to settle for sausage. I don't have any plans today. Maybe I'll go shopping. I really want to go to this new restaurant that just opened for lunch.
After showering I brush my teeth, put on deodorant, and get dressed. I wanted to be comfortable so
I wore leggings with a black shirt. I don't plan on staying out late today. I don't really like going to night clubs. I only went yesterday because Shawn works a lot and that was one of the only off days he had. Clubbing was never a priority for me. I don't like drinking either. It's because my mom was a alcoholic and I saw what it did to her.
She was mentally absent most of my childhood and my father was never there. Shawn basically raised me. He was both parents. I owe him everything because he was always there when our parents weren't.
I can't help but think if me and Marciano's relationship does expand into dating I'd be betraying him. Like it would feel like a stab in the back.
It's been sixteen years since I talked to my mother, we had always been fighting but when I told her about Moon, she finally kicked me out, so I went to live with Shawn. Shawn's reaction to me and Marciano's "relationship" scares me the most.
It can go one of two ways. He'll be shocked and happy or he'll be shocked and angry. Most likely the second one. Shawn has always be overprotective of me because of all the hurt people caused me. So I know that he wouldn't be happy. But besides that I want to try to expand my relationship with Marciano. I feel selfish for this but I really want to be able to have someone who can show me what a relationship should be like. That's all I want.
If that's going to happen, I hope Marciano knows that I don't know how to flirt.
I'm a bit of a..masochist. Only a little. Okay maybe more than a little. I don't like vanilla sex. I've never tried anything BDSM related. But I'd like to. I had sex maybe four times? Yeah I've had boyfriends but they got bored of me pretty quickly.Especially Mark. I had sex with him and got pregnant with Moon but it never happened again because of our different sexual preferences.
I wanted to be choked or tied to the bed or maybe blindfolded and cuffed. CNC is something I would try. I mean I like when people ask for consent. But if I'm comfortable enough with them then CNC would be on the table. Mark wanted to keep everything PG-13. I wanted rated R and mature audience only. I'm so glad that relationship is over. It wasn't love we just liked each other. Plus Mark didn't do shit. He didn't make me feel loved or appreciated. We barely even talked and we lived together. He was just, there.
I needed a way to explore but also get money for it. So I became a travel blogger and influencer. It was just a side job at first but when I started getting noticed I quit my job and focused more on what I really wanted to do. I started getting more and more attention and got to do some ads. I've done a couple modeling gigs. I've been asked to review restaurants and hotels. I've told people where to have family trips and couple getaways. Sometimes I get comments asking how I know this when I'm alone but I don't pay much attention to it.
I like being alone. Relationships aren't my strong suit. I'm not a cheater. That's one thing I will never do. If I feel like being with someone else I'll just break up. I almost got married. I'm glad I didn't.
I'm glad that I didn't end up marrying him. I'm glad that we never ended up getting married. I would've been scared to leave and ask for a divorce. If we'd gotten married there would have been no way out. That relationship was horrifying. There was no love in it. It's been 2 years since then. I don't know if I'm happy. I just feel like something's missing.
Or someone.
Someone is missing from my life. But I don't know who yet. I just need to find them.
I haven't talked to Marciano since last night. I don't know how to start the conversation. I'd like to talk to him but I also really don't know what I would say. Moon walks down the stairs. "Do you want to come to the mall with me, Moonlight?" She nods and goes back upstairs to get dressed. I go get ready too, I grab my purse and walk out the door, unlocking my car. We get up in and begin driving to the mall.
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First I went to Sephora, now I'm going to Victoria's Secret for some bras and panties. The laced ones are cute. I don't wear thongs, they're so uncomfortable.
I honestly hate wearing bras. But society makes it a big deal when I don't wear them and I don't need some white woman getting mad at me because her husband is looking..again. Old white men love to look at the black women over here. But that's everywhere. White women blame us for it instead of their perverted husbands.
Like blame your husband not me. I was born cute, why you mad at me? You would not believe how many times women have commented on my posts that their husbands are constantly looking at me and my posts. I can't control that shit.
I buy six pairs of bras and panties. I don't know where else to go shop so I'm just going to the food court. While standing in the Cinnabon line I see Marciano and a girl with him dragging him into Victoria's Secret. He looks annoyed. The only difference between the two is that the girl has green eyes and Marciano has hazel eyes.
Maybe that's his little sister Marcelle. I've only seen her a couple times but that was when she was like five. If it is her then she's very beautiful. Yep it's her. She just slapped the shit out of Marciano. She was always fighting with Marciano every single time I saw her and him in the same room together. But make no mistake. They love each other to death, I think she stabbed one of his exes. In the stomach..on two different occasions...she's a little crazy.
Soon they walk out of the Victoria's Secret and into the food court Marcelle immediately spots me sitting at the table. "Hi, it's been so long." She almost yells. She then leans in close "Marciano won't stop talking about you." She whispers. To which Marciano pinches her. "What? You know it's true. Just ask her on a date already- y'know what? Diamond do you wanna go on a date with him?" Moon looks at me and mouths "say yes." She's been encouraging me to start another relationship.
I look over at Marciano who looks visibly uncomfortable but also like he wants a answer.
"Yes. It sounds fun." She claps her hands. "Good. Go to the beach at 2pm tomorrow." Having Marciano see me in a swimming suit sounds a little....but at least I'll get to see if he still works out. Abs are my favorite part of a body. I however don't have any because I don't work out....At all. "Okay." Marciano is now avoiding my vision. Understandably so, I would too. But his eyes meet mine anyway. I'm done eating so I get up. "I can't wait." I say as I walk past him.
"I'm surprised you didn't crumble away out of embarrassment." I'm going to kill her. "Why would you do that?" She not only asked her to go on a date with me but also to go to the beach. "You weren't gonna ask. Hopefully she'll wear a two piece and seduces you so I can get a niece or nephew." I'm not a Manwhore like my father, I'm not having sex on the first date. "And I know what you're thinking, 'I'm not having sex on the fist date' well you never know." Marcelle is really something else.
The drive back home was her scrolling through Diamond's instagram. "Oh shit." I don't look over at her. "What?" She looks at little..scared. "Don't be mad, but I accidentally liked one of her old pictures." Dammit. "Why the fuck would you even scroll that far? How old is it?" She gulps. "About six years old." I stop the car. "Six years?! Did you go through all of her post?" She nods. "Well at least you'll have something to talk about on the date." She's so annoying. "I'm never letting you use my phone again."
___________________________________
My insomnia is so severe. Falling asleep has always been a challenge for me and it doesn't help that my mind is so clouded with thoughts. I'm staying with my parents for the week because they want to see me more. Marcelle bust in my room. "Go to sleep now or you're gonna be falling asleep during your date." She's rude about it but she means well. "I'll try." She then walks out and closes the door behind her.
Hey I know there was a lot of time jumps in this chapter and that this is going kind of quick but I hope you enjoyed the first chapter.