The warmth of the kitchen, and the enticing smells coming from the huge old-fashioned red oven did nothing to help Ellie's worry.
She stared across at Daniel, unable to find words that wouldn't make things worse.
It appeared he had nothing to say to her either because he turned his back to her and poured a glass of water, sliding it across the table with a flick of his wrist.
Ellie shut her eyes, her ankle beginning to throb again while her other leg began to wobble at all her weight being on it for so long. She was hungry, and tired, and ached in her body and her heart.
All she wanted was for everything to go back to the way it had been.
She opened her eyes, reaching to pull a chair from under the table.
"Don't get settled in." Daniel's emotionless voice made her cringe like he'd sung an off-note at an opera.
"Is this our second or third argument now?" Ellie said with a small smile, attempting a joke, determined to crack through his hurt and anger somehow.
When Daniel didn't react the way he normally would—with a chuckle and a cheeky smile—but folded his arms and looked down at his feet, she knew things were going to get much more difficult than they already were.
She navigated her way onto the chair, sighing with relief when she sat down. After leaning her crutches against the table, she found her medication in her jacket pocket and tipped her head back to swallow her pill, washing it down with a sip of cool water. When she felt ready, she placed the glass on the table and lifted her eyes to Daniel, who refused to catch her gaze. "I totally get that you're upset—"
Daniel untied the apron from around his waist, screwed it up, threw it on the bench and went to the dresser.
"Daniel?" Ellie said, reaching a hand toward him across the table, wishing her ankle wasn't so sore so she could go over to him, and hold him. Then he would surely understand she loved him more than anything. But he seemed like a fragile, cracked vase, ready to fall to pieces if she even looked at him the wrong way. And it was all her fault. "I know I fucked up."
She willed him to acknowledge her as he stacked three plates onto the table with a dangerous chink, then foraged in the cutlery drawer, his movements stilted and stiff.
The door burst open again, and Ellie had to wrench her eyes from Daniel's back, to Bob, who bustled into the kitchen, his cheeks rosy, rubbing his hands together. "Ah, brilliant. I see you found each other." He beamed around the room as the dogs hustled around Ellie gazing up at her with curious eyes, their mouths dripping wet. "Now. Who's up for some plonk?" He went to the fridge and surveyed its contents. "I think we'll have to crack open the good stuff, Dan, seeing as the ladies are here."
Ellie gave Bob a small smile as one of the dogs rested its heavy head on her thigh, it's wet chin seeping through her jeans, and peered up at her. "I...uh...I'm not sure how long we're staying." She flicked her eyes to Daniel as he clattered the cutlery onto the table.
With a laugh, Bob shook his head. "Booked rooms at the pub have you?"
Ellie ran her fingers down the bridge of the dog's soft nose. "We...haven't organised anything."
She could see Bob trying to work through the idea that she, Kim and Meg had driven all the way across the country from Edinburgh without organising anything sensible - like where they were going to stay that night. But then, he was Daniel's dad, and Ellie felt sure, with Daniel's hectic life, he would be used to odd thing cropping up every now and then.
"Well, have some plonk anyway, then see what Janice says." Bob pulled a bottle of white out of the fridge. He held it up to Ellie, whose stomach surged at the idea of drinking anything alcoholic ever again.
She waved his offer away, watching Daniel fetch crystal glasses from another cabinet.
"Everything all right, Dan?" Bob asked, glugging two glasses full of white wine out of the bottle and waving one at Daniel.
Before Daniel had a chance to speak, Janice returned to the kitchen, followed by Kim and Meg, pink-cheeked, clutching baskets of fresh strawberries to their chests. After berating Bob for leaving the berries outside, Janice ordered him to pour more wine for everyone while the dog left Ellie alone, bored with her lack of cuddles and slipped away under the table.
Ellie tuned out of the bustle of the homely kitchen around her. Kim and Meg made themselves useful, helping Janice serve the steaming golden roast chicken that was the source of all those luscious smells. They laid out overflowing platters of roast veggies, and buttered slices of thick white bread, chattering amongst themselves. All the while Ellie worried about Daniel.
As Bob poured more wine, and tossed titbits of chicken to the dogs under the table, she tried to catch Daniel's eye. But he busied himself with the tasks Janice directed at him, concentrating on polishing and wiping up as each utensil or pot was thrown in the sink, warming the plates in the oven for a few minutes, stirring the gravy.
At last, with everyone finally settled around the table, eyes agog at the mountain of fragrant goodies in front of them, Bob lifted his glass, and held it aloft. "To Dan and Ellie. A most talented and rather lovely couple."
Ellie's hand wobbled where she held up her glass of water and Daniel stared down at his plate.
"Uh..." Meg raised her glass higher, flicking her eyes between Daniel and Ellie. "To roast dinner and fresh strawbs and Bob and Jan for being total fuckin' legends. Shit. Sorry!"
Kim and Bob cheered while Janice coughed and Ellie and Daniel stayed quiet.
"Everything okay, Dan?" Janice demanded, passing the roast potatoes down the table to Kim. She turned to Ellie and shook her head. "He went out quite early this morning, perfectly happy, and now, look at him. He's been down in the dumps ever since he got back."
Ellie lowered her eyes and filled her mouth with bread.
"I'm fine, mum," Daniel mumbled, ducking his head. "Stop worrying."
"You know, Ellie, when he was younger, we couldn't shut him up." Bob pointed his knife at Daniel, immediately lowering his hand when Janice glowered at him. "Teachers would ring us up and tell me we had to find a way to stop him chit-chattering in class."
Meg let out a guffaw. "I reckon my parent's had the same phone call! School totally sucked eggs. It was so boring, right Dan? Did you wag school as much as I did?"
Daniel lifted his tired eyes to Meg, but didn't say anything.
"I'm sure you didn't wag school, did you, darling?" Janice asked Daniel, her voice stern.
"I remember, when we lived in London," Bob winked at Ellie, "quite a few times I'd go and pick up the mail in my van during school hours and I'd see Dan strolling along the cycle path near the pub with Gav—"
Daniel dropped his fork onto his plate and slid his chair back. He looked across at Janice and then Bob. "I'm sorry, I don't seem to have the appetite for this."
He stood, pushed his chair in, and left the room, one of the dogs pit-pattering out after him.
Ellie swallowed her mouthful, tears stinging at the edges of her eyes. She went to stand up, needing to go with him, wanting him to be okay.
When she saw everyone watching her, her cheeks turned pink as she held in what she thought might be a maniacal sob. "I...I'll go and see if he's okay..."
She hopped across to where Bob had rested her crutches on the wall, and in the silence, feeling more un-rock-star-like than she'd ever felt in her life, launched herself out of the kitchen. She hoped to hell Daniel hadn't gone up that tiny staircase because by the time she got up there, he might've decided to come down again.
"He'll be upstairs, love," Bob called.
Shit.
"Need a hand?" Kim called.
"No," Ellie called, her voice a choke of angst. She hustled herself as quickly as she could back through the lounge and into the hallway.
Balanced on her crutches, she stared up into the dark stairway knowing there was no way in hell she would be able to get herself up there.
But she had to.
The dark cavity of the stairwell loomed down at her and the deep pulse in her ankle thudded like an impatient crowd stamping on the floor, urging the band to come back for an encore.
But this was no encore.
This was the main event.