Chapter 8
Recap:
I started to tell her what happened inside the booth. She’s well aware that I’m afraid of storms and lightning and thunder and all that. So she wasn’t surprised when I told her,
“I freaked out when the rain got heavy and the sky was having a fit. Thunder and lightning made me jump. I grabbed his hands unconsciously which surprised him but he eventually figured out why. He comforted me Gray. He was consoling me. Then, I couldn’t help it anymore. I told him.” I told her feeling guilty.
“What?! You told him what?! Ashley! What?!” she asked curiously and excited.
Continuation:
“I told him about what happened with Jimmy.” I was quiet, Gray also grew silent which made me more anxious and guilty, and then she spoke.
“Ash, it’s okay, honestly, ofcourse I’ll get jealous because you told Nick first, but hey, as long as it did good to you it’s nothing to me, as long as it helped you to be more open about Jimmy it’s totally fine with me, no hard feelings. Promise” she stated genuinely, and I can see that she really understood.
I extended my arms to her and hugged her so tight, I want to cry but I stopped myself.
“Thank you so much ferret, for understanding me, for being always there for me, you have been so much good to me. So good than I deserve.” I confessed, totally ashamed of myself.
“Come on Ash, you’ve been more than a bestfriend to me, you’re my long lost soul sister right? We’re twins remember? Twins of fate.” She reminded me which made me love her more.
“I love you Gray. So much hon.” I told her not letting go.
“I love you more Ash, so much more.” She told me hugging back.
“Darling, enough of this melodrama. Start telling me about what you spilled on Nick.” she told me in a fake commanding voice.
“Yes ma’am!” I joked back, while letting her go.
“So, yeah, I told him. Now it’s your time to hear the whole truth what happened that night. You ready?” I asked also nervous, still uncomfortable to tell the tragedy, but this is Gray, I know she’ll listen. She just nodded, she feels nervous too, I can tell.
“I was invited to a friend’s birthday, she’s my classmate too. I used to wear dresses and skirts. That was one of those days that I wore one. I forgot it was the day of her birthday, I forgot to bring an extra pants. When I was on my way home, someone grabbed my hand. I was so surprised that I almost screamed, but I realized it was Jimmy, he was my very bestfriend Ash, he’s half of everything I am. He’s the best brother ever. He was grounded that night, because of some house rules that he broke. You know my Dad. But he broke it again, because of me. He got worried, because I don’t usually go home late. So he went after me, I was annoyed at him, because surely, dad would be mad at him more for breaking his rule again. He reasoned that he got worried so, come to check if I was fine. We we’re agreeing on how to tell dad why he broke out, and went after me. When we we’re already 4 blocks away from our lot, guys started to whistle. There were 5 of them. When they appeared in front of us, they were looking at me head to foot. I was still wearing my dress. Jimmy, being a protected brother, stepped in front of me. Then one of the drunken guys told him to let them borrow me for a while, that flared up Jimmy. One of them grabbed my hand which made me scream and alerted Jimmy. He attacked them single handedly. He was doing great. Then he told me to run for it. Ask for help, call for police. But I was glued there. Looking at him beat up those guys, he was about to lose it, so I scrambled for any piece of wood I could whack to the guy on his back. I found one and did my best to knock the guy out. Jimmy was so surprised when he saw that I was still there whacking that guy that he screamed at me. Then that was when he saw one of them carrying a knife standing just behind me and about to stab me, he run for me and pushed me aside hard that I lost my balance and slam on the ground hard that I almost losing my consciousness. When they thought that I was unconscious and that Jimmy was too they left us there. I made sure they were out of site before getting up. When I was sure that they already were, I stood up as fast as I can and rush to Jimmy’s side. He was clutching his tummy when I got there. I immediately checked what happened. Then it dawned on me, he was stabbed instead of me. It was supposed to be me Gray. Me! Not Jimmy!” I was now tears stained. It’s streaming down my cheeks. When I look at Gray, she was too.
She was looking at me like I was struggling to death, like I was about to die. I also feel like it. I feel like I was being stabbed over and over again. I felt like I was dying all over again. Recalling that night always makes me want to die, it was supposed to be me, not Jimmy. Not my brother there was still supposed to be a long life for him. Gray felt so sad for me that she grabbed my hand and enveloped me to a tight hug. She was now rocking me back and forth. She was cradling me like a child who lost her first ever doll. She was crying with me. We were crying our heart out. We stayed like that for who knows how long. When we were able to control ourselves I was already so exhausted from crying. I’ve been crying this day too much already. I felt like I could cry but tears will no longer leak from my eyes. I’ll cry dry tears, if that’s even possible. But I was relieved that I finally got to tell Gray, the most horrible part of my life. The one that before, was so hard for me to admit and makes me want to run and hide for the rest of my life. Now I can say that I finally am free. Telling Gray was my final step of letting Jimmy go. Thanks to Nick I was able to open up and finally free myself from the heavy feelings I have been bringing for the past years. And thanks to Gray for waiting, for understanding me. Now I can finally say that I am free.
“I’m so sorry Ash, I didn’t know it was that horrible. I didn’t know that it was something that heavy and so sad for you. I feel horrible. Curse those guys. Were they caught?” she stated sounding so hurt and distressed.
“No. Mom, says let their conscience chase them to death. But the police are still not giving up. Since my Mom and Dad didn’t officially declare the case closed, they’re still looking for them. I was able to remember the face of the one who stabbed Jimmy, but not clearly.” I told her as honestly as I can. I had a rough day which made me feel so weak. I might appear so tired that Gray’s expression softened, she looked at me like I really need to rest.
“Honey, you really need to rest now. I’ve beaten you emotionally. I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry. You really need to sleep. You look awful. You need to rest those eyes, they won’t appear so good tomorrow, and of that I’m sure.”
Gray left my room thinking I was already asleep. I pretended to be, just to let her have a peace of mind, to think that I was already settled and comfortable. Well, who am I kidding, my eyes are tired, so is my body, my heart. Everything in me actually, except for my brain. I badly want and need to sleep, but I can’t.
That’s me, an over thinker, I think too much. Even small things keep me up all night. I don’t know why either, if that’s what you’re thinking, I just do.
I thought about Sterling, how sweet of him to check if I was fine, and suddenly I remembered our date. I actually forgot the exact day, was it Saturday or Sunday? He just asked me earlier but the details seemed foggy to me. Maybe because of the emotional breakdown I just had with Gray, but I’m certain I’ll remember it flawless in the morning. Then Nick’s face butt in. I hear his voice humming in my ears again, then I fell asleep dreamless.
The next day, I woke up late. I usually get up at around 6 during school days, but today, I woke up 7:05. Again! And because of that I spend a couple of hours in detention plus I get to go to school wearing my favorite vintage aviator Ray bans. Given the fact that my eyes are bloated, okay fine that’s an overstatement. But really my eye bags from last might didn’t wear off. I showered and all washed my face a couple of times really, it just won’t go away. Okay, now back to reality.
I was skulking inside the detention room when my phone rang. The detention teacher, Mr. Frostman shot me a put-that-phone-on-silent-now look. I mouthed sorry, and picked it up as fast as I can, because as you all know phone should be confiscated on detention but I’ve got connection ;). An unregistered number came up,
“We need to talk. Can’t use my phone.
See you later after your classes.
-Nick”
‘Nick?!’ I thought. Why can’t he use his phone and whose number was that? And why the heck do we need to talk? That message ticked me off. I was anxious to finish school already and get it over with whatever Nick means. I don’t like waiting really and I’m worried.
The more I want school to end, the more it seems to move so slowly. Gosh! I hate this! I tried to think about something else, the essay on my AP English class due next week and an exam I have this Friday, but it keeps butting in.
“Ugh!” I groaned loudly without actually being conscious about it. Everyone turned to me, even our teacher stopped talking.
“Sorry.” I told the room. The I noticed Gray looking at me knowingly, I turned to the other side of the room pretending to be checking on something just to avoid her eyes. She knows me too much, she’ll know I’m worried and distracted, I bet she already think that now. I’ll tell her, I promise, just, not now, maybe later but not until I found out what is happening.
Finally my classes ended and thank God my classes are fewer during Mondays. I rushed out without even bothering to put my books in my locker. An unfamiliar car stopped in front of me, my phone rang again. The message said “get in” so I did! I know it sounds careless, who knows it might not be Nick but I’m pretty sure it’s him. So I did get in, and surprisingly he was not there, just the driver wearing a bowler hat so low I can’t see his face.
“Where’s Nick?!” I asked, panic evident on my voice, is this another stupid reckless move of mine?!
“Easy there miss.” The driver answered in British accent which is, I have to admit, sexy.
“EASY?! You tell me to be easy?!” I was now freaking out. I glanced on the rear view mirror and noticed that familiar eyes, that amused eyes. Then it dawned on me. I picked up my thickest book and whack it on his arms as hard as I could.
“You little twit! You spoiled brat! Why! Do you keep doing this to me! ARGHHH!” I practically yelled at him and would have beaten him longer if it weren’t for him yelling at me to stop or else we’ll meet an accident.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to freak you out! Come on stop it or we’ll crash! Ashley!” he yelled over my yammering.
“Fine. But don’t expect me to be happy with what you just did, you mouse! I’ll beat you to death.” I really didn’t mean what I just said to him, but I was consumed with anger. What if it really wasn’t Nick? What if something happened to him?
We drove in silence, Nick kept glancing on the rearview mirror and all I was giving him is my I’ll-kill-you-later glare, which annoyingly, instead of keeping him from making fun of me he suppressed a snicker. Why does he keep doing that to me?! He always act like I’m a funny-buddy clown, that even if I was already scowling he still find me amusing.
“Where are we going?!” I asked rudely.
He just smiled and said
“You’ll see.”
Again with that mysterious smile.
We passed my house already, we were on a familiar road but I can’t remember clearly, just a hunch. Then we came to a halt. He asked me to close my eyes.
“AGAIN?!” I asked without trying to hide my annoyance.
“Please?” he asked using his irresistible charm.
“Will you stop doing that?” I demanded unconsciously. I just blurted it out without thinking, which made me blush furiously.
“Stop what?” he asked clueless.
“”Nothing.” I answered trying to hide my embarrassment. I closed my eyes to avoid his and to stop the conversation.
He took my hand which took me off guard and made me jump.
“It’s okay lady nervous, it’s just me. Now hold my hand so you won’t stumble.” He assured gently but still teasing.
“Ha ha! Very funny.” I shot back sarcastically and sighed.
“Come on.” Leading me to a pebbled path.
A cold wind blew past us which made me shiver, I guess Nick noticed because without a word I felt him put his coat around me shoulder. And I was thankful for that.
“Thanks.” I mumbled softly. He didn’t respond but I can tell him’ smiling.
We walked a little further from where we parked and then Nick told me to stop. I heard water stream and smelled fresh cut grass which was a little weird.
“Open your eyes slowly.” He instructed letting go of my hand.
I opened my eyes slowly just like what he said and blinked a couple of times at the site in front of me. A perfect picnic riverside set up.
“Huh.” I grunted smiling. I can feel Nick’s eyes on me.
“Why?” I continued turning to him, and I know he clearly understood what I meant.
“I want to make up for what happened on Sunday. I really put you on the line.” He confessed shyly.
“Come on, it’s not your fault. I was on the brink. My glass was already full, I need to pour it out or I’ll overflow. Actually I should be the one apologizing, I caused you trouble and spilled tears on your shirt!” I apologized profusely but teasing.
“You know what? We should stop taking faults. We both know it’s endless.” He stated what was obvious grinning.
“Perfect. How did you find this place anyways? I can’t clearly remember this until I opened my eyes.” I stated kind of excited. This place was special to me. This was the trail we used to have picnics with my family before Jimmy died. Wow, I can finally say it.
Nick laid out a yellow and white checkered picnic mat, a basket of foods and a thermos of hot chocolate. He led me to the mat and motioned me to sit opposite him, beside the picnic basket. The sound of the river beside us is relaxing and refreshing.
“I’m really sorry about yesterday. I was supposed to make you happy, but instead you cried your heart out and went home unconscious.” He was leaning on his right hand with that guilty look on his face.
I picked up a crumb of bread and throw it straight to his face and hit his nose, which made him blink furiously and turn that grim expression to surprise.
“What’s that for?!” he demanded half laughing.
“You are so ruining the moment!” u busted amused with his reaction.
“You want me to enjoy, but you keep saying sorry?! How can I enjoy it? Mr. Worry-too-much? Huh?” I was wearing an amused and teasing grin which clearly showed what I was really feeling.
He processed what I just said and a smile crept up his face which turned into a snicker and eventually he laughed at himself. Watching him laugh made me laugh too. I haven’t heard his laugh for a while, which now I realized I missed.
When he can finally catch his breath he stared at me like I was an interesting stuff, the smile not leaving his face.
“What?!” keeping my eyes on his amused face.
“Nothing.” Nick said in between another snicker.
“Come on let’s eat.” He continued digging in the basket and handing me the sandwich.
We munched on the sandwiches and drank the chocolate. And it was luscious, the sandwiches were rich and the chocolate is indescribable. He admitted he made the sandwiches, I already heard this before but I have to hear it straight from his mouth ofcourse.
After half an hour of enjoying the delicious meal he prepared, I glanced on the site, reminisced the memories we’ve made here. I can still remember the time when Jimmy chased me down the edge of the river with a big spider on his hands. I was a big mommy’s girl when it comes to spiders. I really don’t like the looks of it. Thinking of the memory made me laugh.
“What’s the big joke?” Nick’s curious but smiling voice brought me out of my reverie.
I turned to look at him and laughed uncontrollably, his change of expression made me laugh even more. When I could finally catch my breath and talk without choking I looked him in the eyes and said my silent sorry. He smiled his it’s okay.
We stayed silent for while just enjoying the sound of the river the fresh air. We were having a comfortable silence when he broke it.
“Can you stay here for just a minute? I just have to get something from the car. I forgot to bring I out here earlier with us. Is that alright?”
I was honestly curious but didn’t bother on asking him.
“Go on. I’ll wait here.” I assured him.
He immediately stood up and sprint to the car, it was quite distant from where we picnicked.
While waiting for Nick to be back, I took the time to enjoy the scenery around me. Then I remembered that my Ipod was actually in my back pocket. I took it out and lay on my back. I listened to whatever was on queue and luckily Amanda Seigfred’s Little House was next. I set my Ipod on my side and stared at the clear blue sky through the twigs of the trees. Soft wind blew past me which made me close my eyes and leisurely inhaled the fresh air. I was so absorbed with the new yet familiar feeling of this place, this experience, this certain moment.
When the song was done, I slowly opened my eyes and surprisingly met by 2 mesmerizing brown eyes instead of the blue sky which I was expecting. Then I realized that it was Nick’s. I sat up abruptly which made me a little dizzy and almost fell back immediately. Luckily Nick got a hold of my hand before I hit my head badly on the pavement.
“Thanks!” I mumbled breathlessly. “I didn’t notice you that you were already back. I was surprised to see you back in quite a short time.”
‘OH God! Great! I’m babbling. I do this everytime I’m nervous. Wait, what, I’m nervous?!’
Nick just stared at me with his right eyebrow raised. He’s looking at me with so much interest and intense that I feel like melting right at that moment.
“So… Ahmmm...” I mumbled while clearing my throat which made him snap out of staring at me.
A/N: I am so sorry for posting this so, so late. I apologize profusely. And leaving you hanging on this. I’m having a little writer’s block. Also busy at school so my mind’s a little mixed up with all things. I’m trying my best to make progress please, please bear with me. I hope you could, you are truly one of the reasons why I still continue to write. oh and please leave comments or suggestions please. A simple smiley could make my day trust me. Who knows you might be the reason for this writer’s block of mine to disappear. ;)