Abhiram's POV
"And you still have the audacity to ask for forgiveness when you were the one who had resorted to hurling all disrespect my way.", her hold on my collar was now loosening and it seemed as though she was giving up, both literally and metaphorically. Or had she already given up now?
I hope not, although I deserve all of it, every reaction of hers.
"What did I do wrong Abhi? What did I do wrong that you did not find it in yourself to trust me even once? To even listen to me once? Where did I fall short? Where did I fail Abhi that you had to rely on a third person's judgement about me to even consider my side of the things? Where did I fail that you had to wait for the truth to be exposed to understand that none of it was ever my fault? Batao mujhe Abhi. I am tired now.", the exhaustion had seeped in through her words and I felt a punch in my gut listening to her broken voice.
(Batao mujhe - Tell me)
What had I done to my gorgeous Avi? My lack of trust in her had destroyed her, destroyed the foundation of our love, destroyed our home. And honestly, Kinjal's malice was not to blame for this, it was just a precursor, what destroyed us was me - the hard headed, impulsive, distrusting jerk that I am.
Her knees buckled as she had uttered that last sentence and she might have fallen down had I not held her tight within my hold. But it seemed as though it was too late for me to even hold on to her. Had I done so earlier, we would not have stood at these crossroads in our life.
"Nothing Avi, please do not say this. You have done nothing wrong, you have failed nowhere. Its me. Its all on me. I have disappointed you being a pathetic example of a husband. Please do not say this Avi. You could never fail me.", I tried to assure what was left of us - both her and me, maybe she needed that assurance more or maybe it was me. I do not know. But these words were not going to make much of a difference now - what had transpired between us because of me, was far too grave to be erased or to be even jolted or moved by these words - no matter how sincere they were.
"No use Abhiram. What should I do of your words now?", she had slipped out of my embrace and seemed to have clamed down, but I could sense the immense turmoil of emotions in her mind. I could see right through her pretense.
"Please tell me Avi, what should I do now? What should I do to make all of this right?", my voice was a whisper.
"What all are you going to make right Abhiram? What all are you going to repair? Please tell me if there's some way you could repair my broken trust. If you could uncover that love amongst us which you had so mercilessly buried. If you could just erase all those months of immense anguish and longing. If you could make me believe in yourself yet again. Tell me.", she stated.
I did not know what to say, how to respond, because I did not have those answers. No amount of measures now could simply take away the hurt and pain she had felt.
"No answers right?", she turned to leave.
"Please do not leave Avi.", I quickly took ahold of her arm in panic.
"Who said I am? We have decided to stay together for Aaru - your words, or else you would have divorced me that day itself, again, your words. And I love my child more than anything to see him suffer without both of his parents.", she replied with a cynical smile.
Those words - Divorce? How could I ever bring myself to utter those wretched words that day? I simply cannot fathom the bitterness I had spewed that day and every other following day.
"Avi, us?", was the only thing I could utter.
"Us? What's even left Abhiram? You have already destroyed whatever it was, and despite of my efforts to salvage, it collapsed - all of what we had managed to build all these years.", she shook her head.
"Avi please.", it seemed as though I was repetitively pleading with her, but that's the only thing I felt I had in my hands now, pleading with her and apologizing to her. Nothing of that would be enough, but that's the only thing under my control now.
"Let's continue being Aaru's co-parents. Our baby deserves that stability.", she stated firmly and whisking her hand out of my hold, she sauntered away.
I stared at her diminishing self - was that the final verdict she had on walking out of my life? Yes, I know, she would not leave this home, or I would not leave this home, all of that for Aaru, but then again what about us? Had I destroyed us so bad that there was no point of return now, that there was no hope now?
That night, as a fast asleep Aaru was lying between us, we stared at each other. Perhaps, our eyes were mirroring each other - but hers held more anguish while mine shone with betrayal.
We had both been betrayed by the ones we loved - I was betrayed by Kinjal and my Avi was betrayed by me. However, as the time passed her feeling of betrayal turned into a deep felt anguish while I still had to go through all of that torment gradually. At least I was not mercilessly accused as she had been. At least I was not isolated as she had been. We continued staring at each other - to search for answers, to seek solace, to just see each other - I do not know, but the pain - it knew no means of vanishing and despite of staying still, our thoughts made us writhe.
In the morning when we were getting the breakfast ready for Aaru, it was quite slow and solemn - slow because we had planned for a day off, the both of us and solemn due to all the obvious reasons.
The door bell rang. I stared at Avi for a moment, before she wiped her hands and went away to open the door.
Avantika's POV
"Dev, how are you? Come in.", I ushered him in the living room.
"Why didn't you tell me Avanti? Why didn't you share it with me? Bhai manti ho na mujhe.", he was visibly distraught and that was quite understandable.
(Bhai manti ho na mujhe - you consider me to be your brother right?)
"Dev, I...you know everything?"
As far as I knew, Abhiram must have shared the happening prior to yesterday with him, but Dev's tone suggested that he knew much more than that.
"Hmm, the first half was narrated by that gadhedaa (donkey) you have for a husband and yesterday uncle had called me to discuss a few things. Amidst the discussion, Kinjal's topic came up and he had a literal outburst on the phone. I then got to know what all she did.", he said in a solemn tone.
I wonder how many people were actually disrupted by the turn of events in these past few months. That Dev who I had always seen with a smile, a contagious enthusiasm in his persona, a literal sunshine, now stood before me as though all of his glee has been clouded.
"Why didn't you share your pain with me Avanti?", he had a pained expression on his face and I could feel myself tearing up.
"What should I have told you Dev? That my own husband didn't want to believe me or that he didn't even want to listen to me at least once?", I could feel my throat constricting with all the emotions.
"Come here Avanti.", he took me within his embrace and I could once again feel the dam of my emotions bursting.
Had I become too emotional, too much of a crybaby - I did not care, but Dev, my brother here seemed to take some of the pain away by just holding me in his near fatherly embrace. I miss my mom and dad, so much. I wish they could return home soon.
"Shh, rote nahi. Calm down.", he patted my head.
(Rote nahi - don't cry)
After I had clamed down considerably, I saw Abhiram standing in front of us, a pained expression on his face.
"I had expected better from you mere (my) Ram, much better.", even I could sense the disappointment in his tone. And much as his words were true, I felt really bad for Abhiram. How could I not? Dev had been his best friend, his brother since ever and seeing a person so close to you being disappointed in you definitely does hurt. Who knows that better than me even though I was not the one at fault.
Abhiram only nodded in response, but it was sincere as though he had accepted Dev's words.
"Devvvv", we all heard an excited squeal and Dev must have felt a small body crashing into his legs.
"My baccha", Dev let out an equally excited squeal and picked Aaru within his arms.
(My child)
"Devv, giffts.", Aaru demanded.
Had it been any other person, Aaru would have just smiled politely and waved his hand like a sweet little boy, but this little boy turned into a tiny devil when it came to Dev and Dev being the goofy man that he was loved Aaru as if he were his own.
"I have the complete rights to spoil my nephew. You two can discipline him all you want, but just not in front of me.", were his words when we used to stop him from getting stuff for Aaru since he was born. After some time, we had given up, because who were we to argue when it came to Dev.
"You have to close your eyes for that.", Dev tried to whisper.
Aaru did as he was told and Dev held a large bag in front of him. I could only shake my head at those two.
"Woahhhh", Aaru gasped in excitement when he saw the contents of the bag. It seemed that Dev had gotten him the a lot of stuffed toys of some characters from the Little Mermaid which has been his favourite since the past few months.
"Thank you Devv.", Aaru once again went into his arms, happiness bubbling on his face.
Seeing his wide smile, I could feel a grin stretching onto my face and when I glanced at Abhiram, he too was softly smiling at the two of them.
Our eyes clashed and I felt my grin faltering. As if that familiar realization had struck him yet again, Abhiram's smile too faltered and guilt took over his features.
"Avanti, Ram, I am taking Aaru with me for some time. Don't worry, I have his spare clothes and all other necessary things with me. You two need to have that much awaited talk without Aaru in here.", Dev declared.
I nodded in understanding. We both knew that Aaru would be completely fine with Dev by his side, and we too would have the privacy for a much required conversation. As much as I was tired of all of those emotions, we needed to have that conversation. It had been too long now.
"Ram, you have to make this right. I cannot see my favourite people drowning in misery like this. Its enough now.", his words were sharp and more than me, they were directed towards Abhiram.
"Yes Dev.", I heard the faintest of the whispers from Abhiram.
"Baccha, say bye to momma and dadda."
Aaru who had the Sebastian crab stuffed toy with him which seemed like his new favourite now, thanks to Dev, bounded over to his dad.
Pulling him down by his arm, Aaru pecked his cheeks.
"Bye dadda."
Abhiram took him within his embrace for a long minute before releasing him and ruffled his hair whispering a bye.
"Take care sweetie."
Then Aaru bade me a goodbye and off he went with his Dev leaving behind the most awkward silence.
Earlier, we would find instances to be alone, to have our privacy, but now, all of that seemed foreign, never known before.
It seemed as though now, despite of the loads of unresolved issues, unspoken words in between us, we failed to speak now.
And the next chapter guys?
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And how shall it be?
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See you later :)