JAE • POV
1 year later.
I was a fucking fashionista of a dad! I rocked fatherhood like a motherfucking champion!
Fashionable, leather, black fanny pack with adorably cute cartoon keychains? Check.
Fashionable white socks paired with platformed Doc Martin sandals in true dad transformation? Check.
Fashionable oversized black shirt tucked in the front, loose in the back, with a graphic print of a dragon, hanging over my five inch inseam, cream-coloured shorts? Check.
Sun glasses, hair in a messy bun, hoop piercings swapped for safety studs and a paw patrol bandaid stuck to my cheek, courtesy of my three year old son. Check.
Now all I needed was said three year old son and the baby.... The baby who was crying while I checked myself out in the mirror. Vanity was the only downfall of my super awesome dadness!
"Ollie! Get your shoes on please bubba, we gotta go!"
I rushed past Ollie who had paused beside the couch. He was wearing his usual white doctor's coat over a simple grey shirt and jean shorts. But my baby fancied himself a fashionista too. He had glittery green fairy wings on his back, a red scaled dinosaur mask over his head and had also stuck paw patrol bandaids to his uninjured knees.
"Go go? Where? Where 'we going, Appa?"
"To see Daddy at work! Shoes please!" I hollered as I swung into the nursery, grabbing clothes, a diaper and wipes out of drawers as I made my way over to the crib set up against the far wall.
I could just about see the soft tufts of kinky-curly, black hair between the bars as my baby number two wiggled and cried herself awake. Opal whimpered and I dropped my gathered items on the changing table, before reaching into the crib and carefully pulling her out.
"Good afternoon, princess," I sang, pressing kisses up her round apple cheek as I cuddled her close. The nine-month-old cooed, settling into my arms, cries quieting to sniffles and the occasional dramatic hiccup.
"Opi wake up!" Ollie giggled, holding onto my leg, peering up at me and his little sister. He was wearing one yellow wellington boot on his right foot and the right side of a nike sneaker on his left foot. "Opi wants to play dinosaur doctor! She does, she does!"
He tried pushing his stethoscope towards her and I gently placed my hand over his little, insistent one. "Opal needs her diaper changed, she's got a stinky butt. Daddy forgot his lunch at home, so we've got to bring it for him. We don't want him to go hungry do we?"
"Daddy forgot his lunch?!" Ollie let out a horrified gasp as I lay Opal on the changing mat up on the table. I lifted the inquisitive toddler up beside her so he could feel involved in the entire poopy diaper process.
"Yup! I bet his stomach is rumbling so loudly!" I said, breathing through my mouth to fend off the smell. Ollie didn't seem phased in the slightest.
"Grrrr! Rumble rumble!" Ollie rubbed his stomach, nodding seriously, those gorgeous green eyes as wide as saucers. "Not good, Appa! Have to save Daddy! Have to give him a san'wich! Jam san'wich!"
I undressed Opal out of her onesie quickly and she squirmed, fists balled, legs kicking. She was beginning her crawling phase which meant it was getting harder and harder to hold her still. But she was so freaking adorable that I couldn't be mad as I whipped off her diaper, cleaned her up and replaced it with a new one.
"Jam sandwiches are yummy, but I made Daddy some chicken and rice."
"Yummy! Save some, Ollie too!" Ollie demanded patting my shoulder to get my attention. I nodded placatingly, grinning and leaning in to kiss his cheek.
"Of course. There's always enough saved for Ollie-"
"And Opi?"
"And Opi," I chuckled, pulling on Opal's mustard yellow and daisy print sundress over her vest. Then some frilly white socks. Gorgeous.
"Oki! Love you, Appa," Ollie grinned, before using his stethoscope to listen to his sister's heartbeat. Opal tried eating the device, clawing ferally in an attempt to get her mouth on the plastic.
Oh god, I could just combust with glee! Every time Ollie called me Appa, every time he told me he loved me, it made me feel just as warm and whole, just as fucking amazing as the very first time.
"Love you too. Alrighty my Carter Cuties! Time to go!"
I scooped Opal up, and settled her on my hip, helped Ollie hop down and herded him out into the hallway. I grabbed the bags I'd already packed - Ezra's lunch, Opal's diaper bag and Ollie's backpack of toys and snacks.
We headed out of the house - the new house we'd viewed and bought about a month before bringing Opal home.
It was a gorgeous, modern family home with two floors, five bedrooms and four bathrooms. There was a large kitchen and living room, a play room for the kids, and a massive back yard with a patio we'd filled with garden furniture and plants.
Ezra had been so eager and excited to buy the home for us, a drastic contrast to the completely uninterested wreck he'd been when choosing his late apartment for himself and Ollie. I knew it was because he was so elated we'd be living together. I couldn't deny him that soul deep happiness, deciding to move out of my apartment and into our new home with him.
But I had still been scared, still sceptical.
Giving up my job was one thing, but my home was another. I loved Ezra, I loved him with all my fucking heart but I had decided to trust him with my entire life and that was terrifying.
However, I believed in him and I believed in us enough to know that I didn't have to worry anymore. Not when I was with him. This was a new chapter in our lives and in our relationship. I knew that I had to jump in feet first and give it my all.
Besides, I was absolutely loving our new life and the new time I had on my hands, helping Ezra decorate our home and make it ours, taking care of Ollie and Opal, going on adventures with them, watching them grow.
I never thought I'd enjoy being a father and a stay at home partner as much as I did, but I was freaking thriving!
I buckled my babies into their respective carseats in the back of my new car, a grey BMW X6. When Ezra had bought me the monstrosity of a super expensive, ridiculously sexy, over the top car for my birthday... I'd tried to kill him. Mentally, of course.
I'd never be able to take that beast of a man down.
But I'd tried my damned hardest to convince him to take it back to the dealership he'd bought it from, completely overwhelmed by the sheer, intimidating scale of the present. I didn't know how to accept such expensive gifts - gifts that never even entered my atmosphere of thinking as a working class Korean man in his twenties.
But Ezra was determined and wouldn't take it back. He'd tried to convince me that he bought it because I needed my own car to continently travel places and it only made sense to have my own vehicle while I had the kids. Plus, he could very much afford the grandiose purchase. Most importantly, and most stressed by my man, was the fact that it brought him great pleasure to spend his money on me.
The car sat in our garage for three days before I eventually caved. One test drive turned joy ride and I fell for that fucking car it like a man falling to his knees to suck dick. Accurate. I fell in love and I made my man angry rough fuck me over the bonnet. I gave into temptation and there was no going back.
After I accepted the car, Ezra made it a habit to buy things he liked for me or thought I needed, no matter how expensive or inexpensive they were. It was his love language and I had to accept that. I appreciated it too, even if it still startled the fuck out of me.
Twice was playing lowly through the surround sound speakers, only background noise to Ollie's constant happy babbling and Opal's accompanying squeals and giggles as she rattled the toys attached to her carseat.
After we'd gotten Ollie back from his grandparent's care last year, he'd been a nervous little ball of anxiety.
He wouldn't leave either Ezra or I's side, always clinging and crying, needing to have constant skin to skin contact to be sure we wouldn't be separated ever again. It was heartbreaking trying to piece him back together and heal him from the traumatic ordeal.
We'd taken him to therapy, constantly affirmed his feelings of fear, assured him that we wouldn't leave and that if one of us did leave for all of two minutes to take a piss, we'd always come back.
He'd settled after a few months, but after Opal's arrival was when he really began to feel like his old self and start trusting again.
Ezra and I had made the tough decision to adopt Opal when she was born after long nights in each other's arms talking seriously about the possibilities and the implications of adopting a new baby and the reasons why it would or wouldn't work.
On one hand, we were taking on another burden, another part of the woman we wanted struck from our lives after all the damage she'd inflicted. On the other hand, Opal was innocent in the whole sick and twisted mess, and with a mother in prison and an unknown father, her life was off to a rough start from the very beginning.
Ezra couldn't morally let her go into the hands of the state, joining many other young kids in foster care, waiting for stability and loving homes. Not when we were here, not when we had the financial capacity to support her and her needs.
Not when we were already taking care of her half-brother and I understood that.
Yet, I hadn't known how to feel. Scared, mostly. Scared that I wouldn't be able to love her because she was Renee's - which was stupid now that I think about it. Ollie was half of Renee too and I'd die for that little boy.
But part of me had been comforted in convincing myself that I loved him because he was also part of Ezra.
Opal wasn't.
I hadn't wanted to try and find out that I couldn't love her the way I loved Ollie, that I couldn't give her all that she needed, not really, and that had been troubling. I'd felt so guilty for feeling the way I did, for hesitating - like it made me a bad person.
But Ezra had been more than understanding, talking my feelings through with me, validating my fears and concerns and we'd worked our way through it.
He'd made me realise that taking Opal in would be just like adopting a child of our own. It didn't matter who her parents were, it just mattered that she was healthy, happy and if we went through with the adoption, she would be ours.
Our daughter.
We'd learn to love her, just as we'd learned to love Ollie.
Ezra opened up about being absolutely terrified when Ollie was born. Not knowing what to do or how to feel or how to bond with this new, vulnerable little being who depended on him to survive. But he fell in love and he hoped I'd feel the same way about Opal when I met her too.
He was absolutely right.
When the social workers had passed her over, wrapped up in a fluffy blanket, pink hat covering soft tufts of dark hair, I'd fallen so fucking hard. She was gorgeous, all tawny brown skin, dimpled cheeks and dark eyes. Chubby, healthy and just so freaking adorable, I'd actually cried.
Our daughter. My daughter.
I wasn't there when Ollie was a newborn so it was a whole knew experience for me. A bombshell of exciting new thoughts and feelings. I'd had to learn to take care of a baby, and spent most of my time for the first month watching and observing Opal with Ezra who was confident and comfortable taking care of her.
He was fantastic with her.
Our family expanded by one and we'd all seen positive changes in ourselves since.
We'd been worried about Ollie's reaction to having a new baby sister - mostly because of his intense clinginess and violent possessiveness over myself and Ezra, but he'd adapted so freaking well, it was admirable.
He loved her, always wanted to be next to her and play with her. His anxiety had lessened and we could finally leave him alone for short periods of time without him freaking out. He was okay when he was holding his baby sister's hand. It was like he forced himself to be strong for her, even though he was scared.
He was an awesome big brother and we made sure we told him every single day, delighting in watching his confidence soar.
"Appa! Daddy's working there! In there, Appa, quickly! Gotta eat rice and chicken!" Ollie yelled, the moment Ezra's building came into view, enticing an extra heart-felt screech from Opal. I had to get these babies fed.
"Okay, Okay," I laughed, driving into the underground parking lot and searching for a good spot.
Twenty minutes later, after finding a spot with enough space to get the kids out of the car, changing another diaper, unfolding a stroller, grabbing the bags and kissing Ollie's knee specifically six times after he tripped and fell, we were finally in the elevator, whizzing up to Ezra's office.
The doors slid open and I led Ollie out, one hand holding his and the other steering the stroller. I'd become a pro at doing both. The lobby was empty and so was the assistant's desk manning the entrance to both Evan and Ezra's offices.
I headed for Ezra's door, pausing outside when I picked up mute voices coming through the closed door. Did he have a client? Was he busy? I fished my phone out of my back pocket, quickly finding his number and reading back through his last message.
Ezra: Yeah baby, if you could bring my lunch, I'd appreciate it. I'm free this afternoon so bring the kids. Love you, see you soon.
I frowned, pocketing my phone. I reached up and knocked gently, looking down at Ollie who was impatiently bouncing on his feet, obviously confused as to why I didn't waltz right in!
Manners, baby boy! Can't ruin Daddy's rep at work!
The voices hushed before the door opened a crack. Evan stuck his ridiculously handsome face through the gap, grinning, mouth stretched wide in a beam. "Hello, I heard you had chicken and rice for me?" He said teasingly.
Ollie seemed to take it personally, not laughing at all. "Not you, Unc' 'Van. Just Daddy, Appa, Ollie and Opi!" He paused, before hurriedly adding, "And Miyah!"
Evan made a face, glaring half-heartedly down at his nephew. "I'm hungry too! You're so mean to me! And I told you to stop calling my boyfriend that! Only I'm allowed to call him Miyah!
"My Miyah!" Ollie protested and I grabbed his stethoscope before he could wack Evan around the thigh with it.
I cut in before they started their usual cat fight. How a three year old and a thirty-five year old could find things to argue about - mainly over the men in their lives, was beyond me.
"Where's Ezra?" I asked as Evan finally stepped back, opening the door wide enough for me to bustle inside with the stroller and our bags. I was so busy focusing on settling Opal, who was wailing and kicking her little feet, demanding to be let out of her 'prison', that I didn't even realise how full the room was.
I looked up and froze. "What the fuck?!" I yelped, startled to my core.
"Ooooh bad word, Appa! Bad word!" Ollie gasped as he darted across the room, streaking right over to Jeremiah who was sitting on one of the couches across from Ezra's grand desk.
My best friend was smiling softly, long locks framing his shy face, as he scooped Ollie up into his arms. The two began cuddling and talking in hushed voices, Ollie ever smitten with his favourite babysitter.
I wanted to watch them, I wanted to settle Opal who sank her sharp little teeth into my finger, looking for relief from teething pain, but I couldn't. Because on the other couch, adjacent to Jeremiah, sat my parents.
My parents who should've been in Korea.
I could feel my eyes well with uncontrollable tears as Mom hopped up, waving happily. She wore a pink blazer, jeans, and a floral scarf wrapped around her delicate neck. She was beaming so brightly she looked radiant.
Fuck, I'd missed her.
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, feeling choked up in the back of my throat as I wrapped my arms around my short mother, sinking into her, Opal squashed happily between us.
"Your boyfriend flew us out here! In first class! He's such a good man, so polite! He took good care of us Jaemin! I knew I liked him!" She cackled and I chuckled with her, disbelief rendering me speechless as I nuzzled into her hair, my eyes finding Ezra over her shoulder.
My man was leaning up against his desk, smiling softly, looking as classically handsome and breathtaking as ever. I can't believe he'd flown my parents back to the U.S!
But why? I was so confused.
"Let me meet this little one. My gosh, she's so pretty! Good, plump baby! Well done, you're feeding her right," Mom began, taking Opal from my arms and into hers, bouncing her and singing softly as she patted her back.
She began walking back to the couch, stopping to pinch Ollie's cheek and slip him a piece of candy from her blazer pocket as she settled back down beside my dad. "Look at the baby!" She demanded, holding Opal up to my stoic father's face.
Dear god, I hoped she didn't puke on him.
"Say hello, Ollie," Ezra spoke up, watching his son carefully. "Like you practised with Appa."
Ollie nodded shyly, taking his dinosaur mask off and dropping it into Jeremiah's safe keeping. He hopped up, eyes darting between me and Ezra and then at my parents. His little face turned pink as he bowed, bobbing up and down.
In baby Korean he managed to squeak out a quick, formal "Hello grandma, hello grandpa!" Then he dove back into Jeremiah's embrace to hide.
"Good job, bubba," I sniffed, wiping at my eyes, watching the absolute delight and pride light up my parent's faces. My dad startled us all by laughing and clapping loudly.
Ollie grinned, before lifting up Jeremiah's locks and draping them over his face where he could hide away from the praise.
I scooted across the room towards Ezra, throwing myself into his arms while our family joked and laughed around us. He caught me, using his large arms to hold me close and I melted into him, gripping the lapels of his suit jacket tightly.
"What is this, Ezzy? Why is everyone here? Why did you fly my parents back - I'm so thankful you did that for them but, why? I don't understand," I murmured, looking up at him. He cupped my face, smiling softly, eyes sparkling with adoration that would've made me blush if I wasn't so secure in my love for him and his love for me.
"Had to ask your dad an important question," Ezra explained cryptically, leaning in to brush his nose against mine before kissing me softly. His lips were smooth, yet demanding as they meshed with my own and I sighed happily, my apprehension melting away.
When we were both breathless, he pulled back, but kept caressing my face, smoothing his hands over my jaw. "Were the kids good for you while I was gone?"
"They always are. Did you forget your lunch on purpose, as an excuse to get me here today?"
"Mmmmm you cracked the case, detective, we'll done you. Give me a second and I'll fetch you a sticker," he chuckled teasingly.
"Shut up," I snorted, gently punching him in the arm. "Tell me what this is all about! Can't believe you guys have been here all morning having a party without me! The audacity!" I pouted. "I can't even call it a party, it's more of a dry-ass gathering, because it can't be a party without my presence!"
Ezra rolled his eyes. "Of course, sweetheart. We've been absolutely lifeless without your glorious presence."
"I know," I laughed, hopping up to kiss him again. "We might have to find a restaurant for lunch. I didn't pack enough rice and chicken for everyone."
"Already booked a table."
"Of course you have," I chuckled, turning to pull away. Opal needed a bottle and-
Mom had helped herself into Opal's diaper bag, found the pre-made bottle in the heat sack I'd kept for her and was feeding Opal in her arms with a purple muslin thrown over her shoulder.
Of course she'd read my mind and every freakish maternal signalling that went on in her little body and was already feeding my hungry daughter.
Ezra's hand slipped into mine and he led me over into the middle of the room, between the two couches. Evan was sitting next to Jeremiah and Ollie now, the two of them encased in his own huge arms.
He winked at me, the handsome devil, and I gave him a suspicious eye squint.
What was happening?
Ezra turned me to face him, taking both my hands in his own and squeezing tightly.
Now that I was staring properly, I noticed how nervous he looked, how tiny beads of sweat popped up above his dark eyebrows, how his bottom lip was bite ridden and sore, how his shirt was buttoned all the way up, tie still on, despite there being no need for such smart formality during lunch.
I frowned, feeling anxious now, my heart pounding rapidly inside my chest. "Are you okay?"
"Fine, sweetheart." Ezra cleared his throat, before sucking in a deep breath of air for courage.
"I actually flew your parents out because I had to ask your dad a very important question and I'll ask you in just a minute. But first... first I just want to talk to you, Jae," Ezra began, stroking his thumbs soothingly back and forth across the backs of my hands.
Talk? We could talk...
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A/N: Alexa, play Talk by Khalid 🥰
Ahhh I can't wait for the next chapter! And Ollie and Opal 💕 Jae's such a good dad with them, I love writing slice of life goodness with them and I'm going to miss them when the book is over! 1 chapter left 🥹
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