I board the flight to Germany, breathing in and out, quite steadily. I knew it was time to fully resolve everything with my sister. I needed that. We needed that. For so long, it was me and Eden against the world, with Finn of course. But now that Finn is gone, and my family is falling to more shreds than it was before, I knew that it was time to be there for my sibling, and similarly, she knew she needed to be here for me.
I got on the next flight to Wolfsburg, paying a lot of money to go not on Ryan Air and with a comfortable seat, seeing as my leg would not fit in the economy.
Saying goodbye to Leah whenever I went on my sporadic trips was always the hardest part. She was in London, having to fulfill her commitments as Arsenal captain, and England captain. She was important. More important than I ever could be.
"It'll be good for you to get away," Leah said to me, as she dropped me at the airport in the morning. I was flying out of Heathrow Airport, and although is quite inconvenient for her to drop me off, she did so anyway.
"I just hope-" but she cut me off.
"Just enjoy it. See your sister; get away from the chaos that is inside your head. Okay?" I nodded, leaning over before placing a small kiss on her lips. "But make sure you're back before the international break. You were my lucky charm last Arnold Clark Cup." She gave me a small wink, and I chuckled softly, squeezing her hand
"I love you," I said to her, as I got out of the car.
"I'll see you in a few days," she replied. "And I love you too."
As I arrived in Wolfsburg, I wasn't sure what to expect. Eden was at work, fulfilling her career as a physiotherapist. I was so proud of her that she became who she wanted to be. That she got to a point in her life where she was content. She didn't have the struggles that infiltrated her brain affect who she became. (Well maybe she did and I just had no idea). I made my own way into the city. I didn't have a key to her apartment, so I made my way over to the Wolfsburg training facility, where she told me to meet her. She was going to finish up early that day, take me back to her place and then show me the sites (although she assured me there weren't too many things to see in a city that was mostly focused on cars and a powerplant)
The training ground wasn't too far out of the main city, so the taxi ride didn't take long. When I arrived, I made my way to the front desk.
"Hello," I said, hoping they would speak English as I did not know a single word of German.
"Hallo," the receptionist said back to me, smiling. "You are Australian? Are you here to see Elk-" but before she could continue, Eden was there.
"Tipp," she said, leaning against the door. She was in a Wolfsburg top, and I had to remember that she did actually work for the team that was, in a sense, one of my rivals.
"Hey," I said to her. She came over slowly, soon embracing me in a hug that had been a long time coming.
"I've got one more player, and then I'll be good to go. But you can come in. She won't mind." I followed Eden through the training ground. She gave me a brief tour, showing me all their facilities. I felt as if I was infiltrating on sacred ground; I knew it was wrong I was there. I was an Arsenal player: the team I had my allegiance to. But, this was about family. My family. My real family.
"It's nice," I said to Eden, as we settled into her little physio station.
"How's the leg going?" she asked, pointing to the cast that was still around my leg.
"It's okay. The cast should be coming off soon. Thank god."
"I saw it happen. I was worried for a moment."
"I was too. But then the continuous pain sort of told me it wouldn't be those dreaded three letters."
"Weird logic but respect." Before we could continue to talk, there was a knock at the door. One of the Wolfsburg players came in, and when I looked up, it was Jill Roord.
"Hi Tippah," Jill said, walking in and sitting on the massage table.
"Why does this feel like deja vu?" I replied laughing. The first time I had seen Eden, in twelve years, was in the hospital after Jill had suffered a concussion in a Champions League group game.
"Well," Eden soon said, going over to Jill to start her end-of-day massage, "I'm glad you guys can properly meet. Jill, this is my sister, Tippah. Tipp, this is Jill, my girlfriend." Everything was now being pieced together.
It all made sense.
At first, I thought Eden was at the hospital with Jill because she was the physio, but it was rather because they were together. I wasn't surprised when Jill commented on my photo from Australia, because not only was Leah in it too (and they were best friends) but that was when Eden decided to grace us with her presence. And Eden's secret relationship wasn't just kept as a secret from me, but the world. Which would make a lot of sense. Not often do you have relationships between physios and players. It can get messy. It would get messy, even though I hoped it wouldn't.
"Hi Jill," I said to her, as Eden stared at her, softly. "I'm glad I finally know!"
"Well, you're the first," Eden answered.
"Besides Mila," Jill added. "And we all know Mila can't keep a secret so Lynn probably knows too, and Lena." I chuckled softly. I had never properly met Mila Bakker but she had always seemed like a personality from interviews and the games I have played against her.
"Well, I'm glad I know." After an hour, Eden soon packs up and we head in her car, to the apartment she shares with Jill. I hadn't realized how serious it was until that moment. They were living together. I mean, it would make sense seeing they had been together since, at least, the December before I left Lyon; that was almost one and a half years ago.
Jill headed to bed early that night, as she would be up for an early session in the morning. Eden assured me she wouldn't have to be there until eight, and could stay up with me.
"So, how did you choose Elke?" I asked her.
"Looked it up," she laughed. "I want a name that meant something I valued. Elke means kindness and nobility. Thought it went well."
"I like it," I answered.
"I also wanted a name that started with E, you know, just to keep some part of my old self." To everyone here, Eden was Elke. To everyone at home, Elke was Eden. they were too different people, bonded by one physical being. I knew she was now no longer Eden, but for me, she always would be.
"Do you care if I call you Eden?" I asked, not wanting to push any buttons.
"No, I actually like it," she answered. "It sort of reminds me of home, the good parts more so than the bad."
"Did you really change it so no one could find you?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"Yeah, I did," she answered.
We talked for hours, catching up on everything. Most of the conversation centered around me fawning over Leah and her fawning of Jill. It was nice to talk to someone like they were my sister because she was. She was my sister.
"So, how did it go? The police shit," Eden asked. We each had a soft drink in front of us, knowing that alcohol was not the drink of choice for this evening. Or any evening that includes me in it.
"I just- I did it. I mean, I had to. I had police information that would assist in an investigation. My brother- our brother, did it. It was stupid, and dumb, and he's the biggest idiot I know. But he did it, and just because of the shit he did, that doesn't change much, right? I mean, I don't know how police stuff work, but I was thinking he would get a lesser sentence because of the trauma that was most likely caused. That would make sense, right?" I looked at Eden with a plea in my eyes. I wanted more than anything for Finn to get let off, but I knew that wouldn't happen.
"I am not sure," Eden replied. "I think that all happens when they go to court. The lawyer will make a case, or maybe before that, they'll make a deal."
"Same with Mum?" I asked.
"Most likely. But, whatever happens, Tipp, you did the right thing. You did the morally sound thing. You had no other choice as otherwise you would be considered an accomplice too by withholding information." I nodded my head, knowing she was right. That is what Ellie said to me when she first told me all the information. I had to say something otherwise I could also be liable. It felt so surreal. So odd.
I spent the next few days with Eden (or Elke). I went with her to work a few times and even suffered through a Wolfsburg game. I sat in the family and friends section, feeling like an intruder once more.
Beside me, throughout the game against Hoffenheim, a very passionate supporter cheered on the players. They looked Eastern European, and from what I knew, no Wolfsburg player came from that part of Europe. Most were either German or Dutch, with a few of the other girls scattered from other countries.
During a break in play, the young woman turned me and smiled. She was young, no older than 25, and had long brown hair that resembled someone, but I couldn't quite pick out who. Her eyes were narrow, but dark blue, and her skin was also fair, with rosy red cheeks.
"Hello," she said, holding her hand out to me. "I'm Ivy. Ludmila's sister." My brain started to work in overdrive trying to figure out who Ludmila even was.
Then it clicked.
Mila.
Mila Baker.
"I'm Tippah." I took her hand shaking it.
"Tippah Jones?" Ivy asked. "The footballer?"
"That's me," I laughed.
"What are you doing here?" she questioned.
"My sister is that one on the pitch." I pointed to Eden who had just gone running on the green grass, attending to Alex Popp who had just gone down with an injury, halting play.
"The physio? " Ivy asked.
"Yep, that's my sister."
"Wow, very cool."
"I've got to ask," I soon said. "Mila's real name is Ludmila?" She looked surprised for a moment as if it was a stupid question and I should've known the answer.
"Yeah, her name is Ludmila and mine is Ivanna."
"Those are very beautiful names," I said to her, admiring the elegance of the names. Whenever someone asks what my name is, I have to suffer by telling them it's Tippah. Then they often ask what it means, and I always say I don't know as if I have to tell them it means 'to eat another' I may just burst with embarrassment.
"We're originally from Ukraine," Ivy said, proudly. "But left when we were young and moved to Holland, to cut a long story short."
"Wow, you learn something new every day." The game soon commenced once more, and Alex Popp scored to put Wolfsburg ahead. Soon later, in the second half, Lena Oberdorf scored a banger from outside the box. The entire friends and family section cheered, with Ivy leading the way. I clapped as I saw the excitement on all the players' faces; I knew it meant a lot to them.
They won the tense match, 2-0, and after going down to meet my sister, I headed out, not wanting anyone else to see me (an Arsenal player) at a game for Wolfsburg. It would look too suspicious especially as my contract would be up by the summer. I had no intention of moving, but it would look that way.
That evening, I sat at the dinner table, with a meal that was prepared by Jill and Eden. Eden assured me that she did at least half of the dinner, but a wink from Jill told me everything I needed to know.
"So, I didn't know Mila grew up in Ukraine?" I said, as we sat around the table, eating.
"You are really that offline?" Eden said, laughing. "She's talked about it a lot."
"Really? Jeez, I need to get better at being up to date." I chuckled to myself, and Jill soon started to explain.
"Mila left Ukraine when she was about 5, with her dad and sister. Her mum had to stay to look after her grandparents. Mila's dad got a job in Amsterdam, and Ivy and her were able to start a new life there; learn a new language and everything. Their dad actually changed their last name, to help with the transition."
"I was about to say. Bakker is not a Ukrainian surname," I added.
"Her name was once Ludmila Bukouski, and when she arrived in Holland, it was Mila Bakker. Similar but different."
"What about her mum?"
"From what I know, she's still in Ukraine. It's a hard place to get to at the moment, however." I nodded my head, digressing the conversation away from the life of Mila Bakker.
After my five days in Wolfsburg, it was time for me to return to London. I had promised Leah to be her biggest supporter during the upcoming Arnold Clark Cup, and I do not break my promises.
"Thank you for coming," Eden said to me, as she dropped me at the airport.
"It's been- it's been amazing. Thank you." I soon hugged her and started to walk away before she run up to me.
"Hey, hey," she said. "Tipp, I just- I want you to know, you're not on your own. Okay? I'm here, for whatever, whenever." I smiled at my sister, embracing her one last time, before hobbling through immigration and back to the security I called London.
note:
- this chapter was a long time coming lol (get it #pun)
- anyways, this chapter was CONTENT HEAVY and for that I'm sorry. but lots of revelations to unpack here.
a) jill roord and eden... yes how funny.
b) eden's real name... elke (kinda cute) i once had a friend called elke... we don't talk anymore but whatevs
c) more info on the one and only mila bakker... which we vibe w
- i have a time line on this series, so hopefully i started slaying and getting more chapters out and as I said previously, i thought of a AMAZING NAME for another book (maybe or maybe not the sequel to hallie's book ;)
- but that is a long time coming
- anyways, there is also anohtter hint in here to the title of the next book
- AND ALSO DO NOT FRET I WILL UPDATE THIS IS ME TRYING V SOON xx