And Light Reflects Darkness
A/n I AM READING SO MANY GOOD BLACKHILL FICS ON AO3!!! RN IM READING GONE TO THE DOGS. YES! IM ONLY JUST READING THE FAMOUS ONE
Translations... at the bottom
Note: There is a conversation in russian that I will do with << >> which means it's in russian not english
MAY 20th, 2010
"Hey, bugsy," Natasha says, smiling at the camera.
"Привет, мама!" Sasha replies. Her smile reaching ear to ear and Natasha, though not as outwardly excited, recipricates its warmth.
"Очень хорошо, детка!" She says excitedly. She should be there, not Uncle Clint. "Русский или английский?"
Sasha squeals. "Русский!"
<<Alright sweet girl>>
<<I miss you, Mama. Finish your mission soon. Mommy is still gone.>>
<<I know, bug. And if I could be there, I would. In a heartbeat. But this is important. Wanna know a secret?>>
<<Yes! What?>>
<<I'm going to see Iron Man. But don't tell anyone! Not even Simon!>>
It's confidential, but Clint knows. And Sasha can know, she just didn't outright tell her. Sasha can know if she won't tell anyone.
<<Iron Man!? Really!?>>
<<Yes! But this is top secret spy stuff, don't tell a soul! Except Clint, Clint knows.>>
<<You trust me?>> Sasha's voice becomes quiet. It shakes a bit, but Natasha doesn't understand why.
<<Yes, of course!>>
<<Can you come home?>>
<<Darling, I will. Just a little longer. Mommy should get back. Soon.>> Natasha isn't actually sure, but she wants to be. "I hope." She says quietly enough that it shouldn't be received on the other line.
<<Oh! Uncle Clint is calling! I have to go to school now! Bye, Mama! Stay safe on your mission with Iron Man!>>
<<Of course.>>
⧗ⴵ🦅🛡
MAY 21st, 2010
Before Natasha walks through to get Tony to sign off his company to Pepper Potts, she makes a phone call.
"Hi," she breathes out, holding back a small sob. "Clint."
"Hey, Nat, what's up?" He already has an idea.
"I got to Stark, which means I should have a measure of time soon. Hopefully. Clint you have no idea what this means to me. Thank you, so so much. I'm trying to get this done fast but I have no idea. And with the evaluation, and Maria just gone, oh god. If you need a break maybe ask if Fury can take her? He probably will. She can skip school it's just Preschool."
"Natasha, relax. No of course I'll keep her, I love the rascal. Nat, you have work. Maria takes it when she doesn't have to, or shouldn't. This is not a reflection of you, and if it is, only how you're doing so well. I know you hate to hear this but this is on Maria. Wherever the fuck she is, this is not on you. Now, I think you're stalling. You have a job to do. Deep breaths." He takes an exaggerated inhale. "Okay, great. Now out. Alright, go get 'em tiger."
"Right, yes. Thank you. Tell Sasha I love her. And if you see her tell her to go fuck herself."
"Of course."
Natasha steps back out and takes a deep breath before walking over to Pepper Potts. She's taking over for Stark Industries apparently and Natasha's doing her best to hide her excitement. Stark did not deserve this company.
"Hello, you must be the notary. Right this way." Pepper Potts. Today she's taking over the company.
"Yes, thank you."
They walk through the hall, some beige-ish coloring with some floor to ceiling lights, Ms Potts leading the way rather quickly. Natasha could hear the boxing before she saw it, she could hear the click of Pepper's heels before she caught up, she could see it all ten steps ahead.
"The notary's here!" Ms Potts announces. "Can you please come sign the transfer paperwork?" The paperwork that makes Tony no longer in charge. What a 'selfless' move. Natasha wonders why.
Tony punches whoever he's punching, replying quickly with, "I'm on happy time."
Maria would laugh, Natasha merely plagues herself with the thought of being here. She should be worrying about her daughter. About Maria. Not a good-for-nothing billionaire who built himself a suit of armor.
Natasha hears the bickering between Tony and whoever. Tony gave an unneeded, sloppy uppercut to the man. Natasha agrees with the opponent when he calls it dirty boxing, not mixed martial arts. Mixed martial arts is much more precise, and not in a boxing ring.
Natasha takes it as her cue to walk in, fading away from herself and into Natalie Rushman.
She gives them time to take her in, standing a little too long and looking a little ways away. She's dressed in a button up white shirt, the buttons open a little too low. She's in dress pants and a belt, black heels accessorizing the whole look. Her hair is long and wavy. She looks stunning, but mature. The look she's orchestrated for herself for this mission. Maria would love it, if she were there, or here, or in some proximity to her family.
Natasha holds the binder. This is great.
Tony stares, as does the man. Happy Hogan, that's his name. Bodyguard security persona, in short. But there was definitely more to him than that.
"I promise you this is the only time I will ask you to sign over your company." Pepper says in that annoying, present voice of hers. She seems together, but still somewhat unsure. It's relaxing to know Natasha's not the only one who's not sure what she's doing here. No- Natasha knows. She just wishes she could skip this out.
Natasha walks over to her anyways, not because she generally wants to but because it's what she needs to do. It's her mission. Keep an eye on Stark but do what any legal woman would. Which includes making Pepper Potts the new CEO of Stark Industries.
"I need you to initial each box," Natasha says matter-of-factly. She holds out the pen to her, holding out the open binder. She can see Stark staring. No. She is Maria's, she is Sasha's. Wherever Maria is, she's still hers.
Happy bonks him on the head. "Lesson one, never take your eye off the-"
Tony kicks him in response.
Natasha watches, holding back an eye roll and continuing to act 'sexy' instead. They're just a bunch of bulky men wasting away, not really doing anything important. She has to assess Tony Stark/Iron man, she knows that. See if he's worth anything in the Avengers Initiative. She's really not sure what she'll say.
Tony and Happy finish up, and as Natasha sees Stark pointing at her she looks up. "What's your name, lady?" He questions. He couldn't have asked nicer?
"Rushman," Natasha replies. "Natalie Rushman." It's so rehearsed it's like she's not even thinking.
"Up and over, front and center. Come into the church."
Is she going to say yes? Is she going to act like she can't take a hit? Or is she going to come and surprise the bunch?
Pepper furrows her brows and looks at Stark with some sort of disgusted mantra. "Tony, you are not seriously going to..."
"If it pleases the court, which it does."
He's serious? Okay.
Natasha looks up at the about-to-be CEO and offers a small... not smirk, but not not smirk. "It's no problem." She says, walking over in stride.
"I'm so sorry," Pepper says fast. "He can be... eccentric."
Oh, it's much more than that.
Tony, water bottle held up by his teeth, holds up the elastic for Natasha to walk through. She does so slowly, sexily, to get Tony's attention. He's supposed to fall for her, he's supposed to want her to be around. She's supposed to cloud his vision so he doesn't see the other part of why she's here.
She looks up doe-eyed, opens her mouth a bit to create that 'sex appeal' and stares nochallantly. Tony almost bites his lip in anticipation, going for a gulp of water instead. Natasha stares and smiles... sort of. She hates this man but she has to seem taken to his terrible flirting. Maria does it better.
"What?" He says, as if she said something. Flirting mastered, obviously.
He doesn't know what he's doing, tripping over his words. Finally he decides that Happy's giving her a lesson. She doesn't need lessons, that was for when she was able to be molded, when she was crafted from innocent daisy to deathly rose.
"No problem." It seems as if his voice betrays him.
Happy talks her head off. Fighting stance does not take this long to explain. What's next, history of boxing? She much prefers mixed martial arts. Fast and efficient. She leaves the binder on the floor and walks over to wherever he's taking her in the ring. She keeps an eye on Stark who's obviously watching her. So she sways her hips a little more just to get a rise. Somewhere in the midst of his and Pepper's conversation she hears sexual assualt. Right back to Maria she goes. Would Maria be mad at her for all of this? It's a mission, none of it's real.
"Ever box before?" Happy asks Natasha when they're both ready.
She's tempted to say no. "I have, yes."
"What, Tae Bo? Booty Boot Camp? Crunch? Something like that." He's saying this without much second thought. As if she's not the type of person who could KO him in fourteen seconds.
"How do I spell your name!" Rings through as she clears her throat. Stark is actually coming in handy.
"R U S H M A N." Oh great, he's googling her. SHIELD made her model, among other things. It's all stupid but it's in good use. They set up a lot, ready for anything precarious.
She stares back up at Happy. He's a lot taller than he looks from quick glance. They're not really talking but it's not awkward. She can hear Tony and Pepper speak and glances back at them.
"What is it with you people?" Happy groans. "Rule number one. Never take your eye off your opponent."
No look of fear crosses her face as his boxed hand moves slowly towards her. She grabs his fist and twists it, flipping her legs up and wrapping them around his neck, pushing him down to the ground, moving forward and holding his right arm in place.
"Oh my god!" Pepper screams.
Natasha holds him down, sitting atop his arm and pushing her leg into his neck. He's definitely struggling but she's not one hundred percent present. His free arm goes onto her calf but it does no use in the situation. She caught the perpetrator off guard, she won. Sasha's not losing a parent.
She gets off him quickly. As she stands up she hears a strangled "Happy..." from Pepper.
"That's what I'm talking about," Tony laughs.
"I just slipped..."
No, you didn't.
"Mm, sure." Stark rings the bell.
"Yeah!"
"Looks like a TKO to me."
Obviously. Natasha's not sure if she was supposed to do that or not but she acts as if it was nothing. It was nothing. TKOs should be a hard earned win, he wasn't ready and she didn't care. She gets out of the ring and head back towards her mission. Boxing with the security guard was not on her agenda, though she knew with Tony Stark's reputation that anything could happen. Including lunatic behavior.
"Uhm, I need your impression." She says sultry.
Tony shrugs. "I don't know... you have an old soul." He squints his eyes. "You have a quiet reserve. Old soul though, definitely."
"I meant your finger print." She smiles up again, a trace of a smirk. Ugh, get her out of this. She reaches back into the boxing ring to grab the very important documents.
"Duh."
She opens up the book, glancing back at her mission. Pepper comes over still clearly shaken from Nat's quite easy takedown. "Great, how we doin?"
"Great. Just finishing up." He places his thumb in the ink and onto the paper. This could've been over a while ago. "Hey." He pushes down on the paper and looks up. "You're the boss."
Natasha closes the book as Ms. Potts smiles. "Will that be all, Mr. Stark?"
"No." Tony says instantaneously.
"Yes. Yep. That will be all, Ms. Rushman. Thank you very much."
Natasha walks away fast. Not too fast, but she's done.
"I want one." She hears Stark say.
"No." She can practically hear the pout.
But it's all going to be okay, because she can see Sasha soon, Clint won't have to keep up the father at work mantra. He should always take that uncle role, parents are for Natasha and Maria.
Next stop, Monaco?
MAY 21st, 2010
TW: mentions of child abuse and ideas of depression
From Maria's side
Maria hasn't been okay, and she hates it. She's been trying, but with all Natasha has done for her plus all of everything Natasha's been through, it doesn't seem fair to push yet another troublesome thing onto her overly caring girlfriend.
I love you.
She's been pushing herself to continuously go on missions, though still trying to not be the absent parent. It's not working out great and at this point even Sasha might be able to tell. It's not like that, she's just got too much right now and missions drown it out.
She's down.
If she's on missions she can forget that she's having nightmares again. But it should be about the incident, not the previous ones. They weren't sexual, and if they were it wasn't like what happened. It wasn't that bad. Just some friendly fatherly touching. Too friendly.
Her dad's back.
She left the day she turned eighteen. Her bag had been packed for forever. She joined the army and got rid of any unnessisary emotion. Like trauma. She has a lot of that.
Her daughter can't see her like this. Natasha has done enough already. She'll get herself together, get the reprimanding she's sure to have from Natasha, and try and move on. When she's not down she'll be back. She's trying, she really is. She's come back, Natasha can handle this. Relationships aren't always fifty fifty. Sometimes they're sixty fourty. Sometimes seventy-five twenty-five. But they should never be ninety-five five. She knows that, but it should never be depressed mother who's screaming every night in her sleep because her father is drunk and using her as a punching bag in her sleep. She can't wake up like that in front of Natasha. Natasha's the one that has needed her, and yet still she's needed Natasha too much. Maria can't deserve it anymore.
<33
Soooo... Iron Man 2 and depresso expresso Maria... sorry
Translations!
Привет, мама:
translation: Privet, Mama
meaning: Hi, mama!
Русский или английский?:
translation: Russkiy ili angliyskiy?
meaning: Russian or english?
Русский:Translation: RusskiyMeaning: Russian