i wore a white shirt, a black blazer, and black pants to the interview. my hair was curled and my makeup was kept to a minimum. leo wore a grey shirt, a black jacket, and black pants. there was some gel and hairspray in his hair but for the most part that was it. but he smelled so clean, the scent of cologne attacking my nose as he walked by or sat near me.
both of us were pretty nervous for the interview. the night before, leo got his laptop out after i put mia in her cot and started researching our names to find recent articles. i joined him on the couch and he shared his screen so both of us could read what the articles were saying about us. it was the first time we saw the news. we were so caught up with ourselves that we completely forgot that we were famous and people were watching our lives like a hawk.
after a little bit of research, this was our conclusion: the whole world thinks we're secretly dating, leo broke up with his girlfriend of three years, and i divorced sam because i am in love with leo.
fortunately, pictures of us kissing in public were not taken, however, there are some pictures of us after that incident. yesterday, we, including mia went out to spend some time together. we ended up going out for lunch, we walked around the city, got some ice cream, and took a look at some shops. oblivious to us, there were just a few paparazzi that managed to sneak photos of us holding hands or photos of me leaning into his arm. sometimes i forget i can't act the way i like in public or else things like this happen.
there were hundreds of pictures of us at the red carpet premiere of 'revolutionary road.' i cringed at myself. seeing my face as we pretended to kiss was hard to miss. but when i looked at leo's face, i could understand why everyone thought that there was something more between us. it was not just me. it was him too.
so to get out of the spotlight, leo suggested to drive us over to the interview site, instead of going via limo like we were going to do. his parents offered to babysit mia once again, because the interview was going to be filmed so she wouldn't be able to sit on my lap or make much noise. now, like before, it was just the two of us, and the hour drive that used to be ahead of us flew behind us rather quickly.
while leo was parking the car in the small car park, i moved my legs up and down, and rolled my thumbs around each other in circles.
"did bar ever get back to you?" i asked. after looking at the paparazzi photos and reading the articles, i realized that what was happening was completely unfair to leo's girlfriend. of course i took note of that before, but given the whole situation i didn't even think about it. he explained to me that he tried phoning multiple times but she didn't answer. she did, however, page him and say she was staying at a friend's house, and because bar had many many friends, it was quite literally impossible for him to get in touch with her anyway.
"no, she didn't. sweetheart, it's okay, i don't think the interviewer is going to ask us personal questions. they'll only ask about the movie." he attempted to soothe me down, but i didn't believe it. the biggest news stations and newspapers said everything everyone wanted to hear.
i took deep breaths in and out to calm me down, but to no avail. he got a hold of my hand and squeezed it tightly, to which i squeezed back.
at that moment i realized i had ruined everything for him, and yet here i was panic stricken and a nervous wreck, while he stayed calm to comfort me.
we got out of the car and headed straight to the building where our interview was going to take place. leo and i requested it to be short and simple. we ordered our stylists to stay put so we could run the whole thing ourselves.
as we entered, a gush of wind brushed past me and gave me a bit of a fright. leo chuckled and i ended up doing so as well. the main room was similar to the main room for actual job interviews. it was strange, considering how my interviews are usually in photo shoot buildings, studios, and occasionally on the tele with talk show hosts.
but in no time, our interviewer greeted us and led us to a room that looked ready and set for filming. there was a grey background with two chairs behind a camera and one chair beside it. there was a poster of our film that was standing on a black metal easel next to one of our chairs. leo and i glared at each other then sat down. i could tell by his face that he was a bit tense as well.
the first few questions were easy to answer. most of the time it ranged from, how fun was it to work with each other again? to, how did you successfully play two characters who basically hated each other?
leo and i took turns answering the questions. when he had something to say, he gave me a chance to add on to it, and as did i. i absolutely admired how we were both respectful to each other and allowed each other to talk. i always found it absurd when other actors don't do the same thing.
"i think it was definitely hard fighting and yelling at each other all the time. but i remember the first time we had to do a fight scene, the minute one of the directors yelled cut, we just snapped out of character like nothing ever happened." leo explained, while i nodded my head.
"yeah, leo's character would be this mess of a man. he's such a good actor that i forget it's not real, but once our scene is over i remember who i'm really working with."
we smile at each other.
the interviewer watched us intently and jotted a few things down before she began her next question.
she cleared her throat.
"how is it like for you guys? working together again for the first time since the filming of titanic?"
this time, i started first. "well, i think i can speak for the both of us when i say it's easier now than before. we have so much more experience to look off of, and given that we've worked together before, it was easier for me to go with the flow and just...follow the rhythm of the room."
"kate said it perfectly. even though our characters are completely different with separate stories and backgrounds this time around, it was still by far the easiest acting i've ever had to do."
"how do you think working together affected your friendship? how is it different from your friendship back in the 90's?"
"kate's always been one of my best friends, but we're closer now than ever."
"he's always been the best."
that was the question that began the outrage that summed up the rest of the interview. normally these kinds of interviews last thirty minutes at most. though we were quick to respond, she asked all sorts of questions that prolonged our stay, but the first question that started my fury happened completely unexpectedly and out of the blue.
"you've probably seen the speculation about your personal life. can i ask if the photos we've seen from these past few days mean anything?"
immediately, i look at leo, who was already eyeing me. my mouth was completely ajar. my heart started to race. this was exactly the kind of question i wanted to avoid from the get go.
i cleared my throat. "uh, shouldn't you be asking us questions about the film?"
leo backed me up on that.
"yeah, i don't think this is appropriate."
the woman showed no expression of concern. "kate, just recently, your divorce with your husband sam mendez was announced. can you at least confirm or deny the rumors?"
i was completely taken aback, unsure of what to say or do. i stood still for a few seconds, hearing leo's voice that mimicked disgust and rage.
"whoa, whoa, whoa. you're crossing the line, now." he moved to the front of his seat, and his voice raised like he was about to snap. getting a hold of myself, i moved my hand toward his chest to prevent him from doing anything else.
"okay, calm down, darling." i try, yet was still in utter shock how a woman i didn't even know could be so insensitive and rude. but she just kept on looking at me, like she wasn't going to get us out of the room unless i answered her question. i held my breath.
"i'm...erm...he filed for divorce, not me. so if that answers some questions—"
"but why exactly?"
"that's enough!" leo fumed.
while i truly felt like i was on the verge of tears, i managed to keep my mouth shut and effortlessly so, as i didn't have much to say from my shocked state anyway.
"there are rumors that you and bar refaeli have split. what can you add to—"
"bloody hell!" were the words that escaped from my mouth. there were tears in my eyes that couldn't stay put and i was horrified and disgusted beyond belief.
"kate, get up. get up. let's get out of here."
he helped me up, giving the interviewer a dirty look, and rushed us quickly out the building. and all the while, i just prayed to God that the interview wouldn't get published.
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when we got to the car park, i started sobbing like never before. i barely even talked to leo about my divorce. that was something i don't want to brought up in any conversation with anybody. and to further my rage, she began interrogating leo about his relationship with his girlfriend as well.
we rushed to the car, and before opening the door to get in, leo stopped and pulled me closer to his chest. spots of his grey shirt became black, as my tears dampened the area and i held him tighter.
"i can't do this anymore, leo." i sobbed into his shirt, while he just kept me there. the whole world was spinning like crazy, and suddenly everything that happened within the short while i've been in los angeles hit me like a tidal wave.
1. none of this is real.
2. things weren't going to last.
3. he has a girlfriend.
4. he is my best friend.
5. i was in love with him anyway.
all of this i realized, but never all at once, were reasons why i shouldn't be here, with him, doing this. none of these worries lasted more than a few hours, and a day at the very most. but they were still my concerns, and that wasn't ever going to change.
what was i doing? and why was i so naive?
i backed away from him, wiping the tears away from my eyes. he tilted his head in confusion, and he seemed more hurt now than when we were being interviewed.
"what?" but his voice was lighter, softer, and gentler. i know i was lost, but he was even more lost than i was.
i sniffled, blinking a few times before i could respond. i didn't want this to end. and i wanted this so bad. but not if it was just going to get myself and leo stuck in a larger situation, and not if it wasn't real. especially if it wasn't real.
"you have a girlfriend, and in less than two weeks i have to go. now the whole world is against us, and we still haven't answered our wake up call."
he shook his head side to side. his eyebrows creased and a stress mark prominent.
"what about everything i've said to you a few days ago? what happened to everything we've done? everything you've done?"
another tear managed to escape one of my eyes as i heard and understood the things that came out of his mouth. everything he said was right. they were entirely true.
but so was everything i said. and i, even for a fraction of a second, would hate myself for eternity if i messed his life up more than i already did.
"it not that simple, leo." i breathed, my voice unstable like i was on the brink of collapsing. i blinked away the tears that streamed down my face. i watched as my words infected him, registering his mind. his eyes became narrow and his eyebrows no longer creased. we stood there for a moment, as i realized what i said meant i couldn't have him. and he couldn't have me.
he breathed slowly and exhaled even slower. then he said the last words he told me before we were forced to leave the car park by tabloids who had caught us between now and when we first exited the building. nonetheless, the last of my tears was a result of it, and to this day i wonder why i cried and he didn't.
"but it shouldn't be this hard either, kate."