"What is Pain?"
The moment when
you realize that you
were nothing to those, who you valued the most."
****************
Tiara
Sometimes I get scared of being too happy and excited about something because every time I get really happy, something bad happens and I end up disappointed and hurt. Getting ditched was like a part of my life. Pain was like always my friend. My dad use to say, 'Remember kids, When it starts hurting, life is trying to teach you something. And when you get constantly hurt by someone regardless how much you like them, it's a sign that they are not the right company to keep around.' I don't know why his words keeps repeating in my head again and again? It was like he was warning me of something. And the next thing I know, Kenneth left me.
No matter what his reasons were, I just couldn't bring myself to feel sorry for him. As if there was a switch, and I have shut it down. I don't feel any sympathy for him or his brothers. I feel empty and it scares me. Like I have no place in my heart for the emotion called love. I don't know what the future has stored for me but it doesn't look promising. "And you said, yes? How could you, after they did so much to ruin your life? I just can't fucking believe you at this moment. " huffed Fiona. She's right in a way but, like Gerald said, I might not have any other option.
"Gerald? Say something damnit!" Her temper was rising every passing second. Gerald was standing by the wall, hands folded, as pissed as her. When I came back home last night after the acward 'dinner', I didn't have the guts to tell these two about the arrangements so, I decided next morning will be the right time to break it. I knew this is how they are going to react. "Think again Tiara. You sure, this is what you want?" He asked frawning. I turned to both of them and tried to explain it as calmly as possible. "I don't know, what I want Gerald. I just know one thing that, I can't live my life with the conscience of someone's blood on my hand." I sighed.
"You are a shifter yourself. I'm not. So you tell me what happens when you feel rejected by your mate?" I know it's hard jab but, I can't handle there tantrum right now. Call me selfish but, I need their support at this moment. "I can't imagine...Does that mean, you have decided to sacrifice your life for them? " He said, grinding his teeth. Fiona looked at me at the same time, for some answers. "No. I don't. As a human, I thought I'll just do it for the sake of humanity. I'm not that stone hearted to let someone die because of me." I said.
"Oh come on! Are you hearing yourself right now. Fuck humanity! You are out of your damn mind right now, Tiara. Can't you see? It's a trap. A nice smooth emotional trap for you to feel guilty of your acts and let them near you. So that one day you all are bonded and mated like they all wanted it to begin with. And then...then my friend, you're stuck with them for ever, trapped, the end. You getting me?" She said, breathing heavily.
"Calm down Fiona. You're scaring her." She turned to glare at her mate. "No. I'm telling her the truth. Do you have any better explanation than me? Let's hear it out." She said folding her arms in front of her. Gerald put his hands in his pockets and walked towards me. "Look Tia. If Carson was here, he would never let you go there alone. So, I'll go with you." Fiona stood from her chair, ready to argue but he raised his finger for her to let him finish. She sat back down huffing.
"I want you to know that I'll always stand beside you, no matter what you deside but, Fiona is right. If the only way to cure them of their pain, is to bond with them, then you can't reverse it back. It's a deal you can't break." I gulped not knowing what to do. "What do you suggest then?" I asked clueless. He had a far look in his eyes then he looked down at me. "Two things. Either they choose someone else and mark her, or you choose someone else, other then them and get marked. It will break the bond." Can I do it? Maybe but, will I be able to convince them to do that, well that's a million dollars question.
"Yeah you do that. I know, Issac will be more than happy to do that." She said, looking excited. My eyes widened. Is she for real now? "NO! Not Issac. Don't suggest things like that. Give me some time. I'll find a way out of it. Just go for today. Ill come with you. Then for tomorrow...we'll think of something." He said, in deep thought. "Just remember, don't get intimate with them, no matter how much you feel the pull, get it?" He said, in a warning voice. I nodded.
Few hours later...
"Fiona and Gerald, Maura's Bakery." I told the guard at the entrance. Gerald looked at me funny. "Was that really necessary? I'm sure just your name was enough, considering they are expacting you?" He said, mirth in his eyes. "Absolutely. That's my identity. 'Fiona, the baker.' They can go to hell if they can't deal with it." I said, with a finality. He sighed. "Fair enough." He said, moving forward, as the guard let us in. Drake was waiting at the main entrance of the fortress with his arms folded behind.
"Fiona? Besides what I said earlier, I want you to follow your instinct. It never fails you. I'll still stand with you, no matter what you decide at the end." He said, pulling in front of the giant door. I took a deep breath, before giving him a light hug. "I love you guys. You know that right?" I said, as Drake came to my side of the door to open it. "We have been waiting for you. Come let's have dinner together." He invited, looking at both Gerald and me back and forth. We exchanged looks and followed him inside.
What I wasn't expacting was, his entire family waiting for us at the table, including their parents, except Kenneth and Brenton. I suddenly feel sick with fear. I noticed there were 3 chairs where the head of family should sit instead of 2. In the middle sat a man who, I assume is their father and two very beautiful woman on both his sides. Did this man has two wives? Figures. Followed by Alison, Simon, Blade, Abigail and Sophia, on their left and one empty chair, where Drake sat earlier, I guess, followed by Kaiden and Blaze on the right. "Father. Mothers..our mate, Tiara and her brother, Gerald." I didn't miss how he put effort or the word brother.
Suddenly I panicked when the two women, their mothers, left their chairs in a hurry and rushed towards us all excited. "Aah finally. You kept us waiting, little girl. Let me see." Said one of them, pulling me into light and observing me from head to toe. "My my I never doubted the heavens for giving my kids beautiful partners but you are...exotic, doesn't she Saphira? I'm so happy for you guys. Im Saraphina, by the way. Their mother." She said, making me blush.
"Hello." Not even a second passed, the other 'mother' pulled me toward her. "She is. Are you sure, she's just human and not a siren? Because she had wraped all my sons in her little finger just like that. What is the word again? Yeah whipped?" My eyes widened and I gulped audibly. "Mother?!" Chuckled Blaze behind us. Everyone in the room started laughing softly. "Enough terrorizing the girl Saphira, let her breath." Said a male voice from the head of the table. Both the woman pulled me towards him. I looked back at Gerald, panicking. He gave me assuring nod as I followed them.
They made me sit on the right side, in the empty chair, in between Saphira and Kaiden. I sat, without making a fuss. "You sit there near me, okay?" Said Saphira, taking the sit beside her husband, smiling like a kid. "I'm Firner, little one. Their Father. And I think its time I should apologize for my doing in the past, which bought so much suffering to you and my own son both, in the process. I hope you have it in your heart to forgive me someday." He said looking at his intertwined fingers on the table. "It's not his fault, I take the full responsibility of the pain, my actions bought to your heart. And our condolences for the loss of your family, dear child."
I took a deep breath to control my sob, that was on the edge to burst out. I can't cry infront of them. That'll show that I'm week. But his father is not what I imagined. Not even a bit. He looks so rough, yet his words and eyes so soft, and the light wrinkles on his face represents his intellectual and wisdom, like he had seen a lot in this world. I'm sure he has, given his age. Somewhere, some part of my heart blamed him for what my life has turned out to be today but, now that he's confessing his wrong doings, I feel nothing. No rage, no anger. Only exceptance. What is happening to me? I'm confused.
I never thought, how I would react when this man, their father stood infront of me...actually I never thought it will ever come to that. But now that he is, with a guilt written face, asking for forgiveness, it's unbearable like, I can feel his pain. Like I'm being cruel to my own father. What is this feeling? I know it's hard to believe but, I'm not mad at him at all right now. Where did all of my loath for them go? I sighed. He was sitting tall but I can see how defeated he look. I decided to bring him out of his misery.
"I forgive you" his face jerked, suddenly not believing if he heard me right. "I forgive you." I repeated with all my heart. "Why?" He asked confused. I sighed. "My dad. He never had a mean bone in his body. He had forgiven everyone no matter how people treated or did wrong to him. He used to say, 'The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world' and forgiveness is healing... especially forgiving yourself. You need to forgive yourself sir, because I can see that it's killing you inside." I smiled at him.
He slowly stood from his chair and walked around his wife toward me. Then bend down to my lebel. He took my hands in his large ones. "There is nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, a grace in forgiveness. You're compassionate, graceful and full of ampathy, child. All the right quality that makes a great person. Your father taught you well." He said, bringing my face in both his hands and kissing my forehead, making my eyes go wide. "Thank You. I'm so glad my sons found you." He said, standing up. "I bet they couldn't find a better mate for themselves even if they try." He smiled, patting my hair and going back to his seat.
I look around and found a twinkle in everyone's eyes. When my eyes met Gerald's, he gave me soft smile. "Sit down gentleman. Why are you still standing? You're family too. Have a seat." Said Firner to Gerald and he took one beside Drake, saying a small thankyou. Their mothers asked the helpers to bring food and just like that everyone started talking among themselves. I was startled when I felt hand on my thighs. I looked to my side frawning, and found an amused Kaiden. "Did you like my gift?" He said, confusing me more. Then realization hit me. The necklace. It was him?
I pushed his hand away and sat up straight. He chuckled finding my reaction amusing. "Are you staying the night?" He asked huskily, closer to my ear. His voice did something unthinkable to me. I tried to take a peek at him and his eyes were zoned on my lips. "Ahem...we are at the dinner table son." Said Saraphina, fake glaring at Kaiden and he straighten up in his seat, giving me his eyes full of promises. Holy Molly Tiara. How in the world did you think you can survive this?
"Just remember, don't get intimate with them, no matter how much you feel the pull, get it?"
Gerald's words repeated in my mind again and again like a mantra. It was easy for him to say it but, ask him to get in my shoes and then I'll see him talk. I scoffed inside.
And then...then my friend, you're stuck with them for ever, trapped, the end. The end..
It was like a horror movie. Anticipation was killing me. I can't handle one, let alone five. What were you thinking, Tiara. Wonder woman? I can feel eyes on me and when I looked, I found both Kaiden and Blaze looking at me, with very hungry eyes. Or did I read that wrong? Oh fuck! I'm fucked. Where's the exit again. I tried to call Gerald with my eyes but he was in a serious talk with Drake. What the fuck are you talking, idiot? Look at me..look at me!!
I guess human telepathy was confined within blood relation only. Suddenly I was frozen to my chair, as I found a presence exactly behind me. Or more like over me. "Mate. came?" Came a heavy, duel voice, chilling me to my bones. Oh oh. The temperature of the room suddenly changed. I slowly looked up only to find a sick looking Breton, smiling at me. His smile felt creepy, making me want to screem and run for the hills. The conversation quite down all of a sudden. "Don't make a run or any sudden moov. He'll take it as a chase Tiara." Wishpered Kaiden to me. What was it again? Was it that obvious, or there is some meaning to his word that I couldn't figure it out...yet?
Brenton pulled me from my chair and into his arms, all the while never taking his eyes of me. "Mate. Smell. Good" He said, breathing down my neck, nuzzling the entire length. I closed my eyes, frightened to my death. "Drocon! You're scaring your mate. Let her go." Said Firner, trying to calm Brenton or most likely his Dragon down. He snarled at his father, making me yelp. Lots of chair scrapping sound followed by footsteps. "Drocon? Tiara is not going anywhere. She came to stay. Let her sit. She's hungry. Do you want to scare her away?" Drake. Please listin to your brother Brenton. I preyed.
"Dracon no scare mate! Drocon love mate." He said, sitting on my chair, making me sit on his lap, in the process. Drake sighed and went back to his seat, giving me an apologetic look. Breton or Dracon, started stroking the length of my hands, while nuzzling my hair. "Food. Me feed mate." He said, smiling at me. "He wants to do what now?" I asked, shaking to my toes. "He won't hurt you Tiara. Don't worry. Let him be for a while. He'll calm down soon." Said Saphira, like it's not a big deal. My eyes met a worried Gerald's. Like me, he was clueless.
Food came and there was a plate placed in front of me. But I feel like a lamb at this moment. They feed you now so that you can be fed on later. That thought made me sweat. But the sound of heavy laughter around me made me realized, that my thoughts were loud? "Silly girl. Nothing like that would happen. Come on eat up." Said Alison smiling. I saw a spoon coming into my view, asking me to open up. I sighed and open up to take the spoonful. Brenton looked pleased and then spoon after spoon followed.
When will this night be over?
Hey lovelies. I hope you like this chapter. Let me know through comments and votes. Chao.
Lina.