Nova discusses her past regrets and new beginnings with her family over the Christmas holiday. Perhaps she'll finally realize that being a Time Lord isn't so bad, after all.
A/N: This is the final chapter of Part 1.
A/N: Song on the side: "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran.
A/N: Photo from a Doctor Who parody video of the Christmas song "Baby, It's Cold Outside."
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The next day, Hazel asks to be sent home to be with her parents, and we oblige. Thankfully this doesn't change her mind to still attend college with me in London, and I tell her to call me when she's ready, and we'll pick her back up again. Meanwhile, my mother still remains incapacitated in the TARDIS Med Bay, and my grandparents stay on board to help my father take care of her until she recovers.
I, however, am left dealing with my own problems. The moment Hazel is dropped off home, I feel immense guilt overtake me, and I rush to the TARDIS library to be alone. I spend a vast majority of time there, thinking of my past regrets, especially my regret of almost committing mass genocide on the Silence and having my mother-guardian take my place in the act—an act that should never have happened in the first place. I feel even worse now that Dad has found out (or, at least, I think he has), knowing I did almost exactly what he did to end the Time War.
Several hours later, the soothing sound of my father's voice startles me from my thoughts. "I had a feeling you'd be here..." he says as he approaches. "Again. This spot seems to have become a particular favorite of yours ever since I first brought you here."
I shrug, refusing to look at him and continuing to stare at the fire. "You did spend a lot of time in here with me before you gave me up." My statement automatically makes me think of that memory he shared with me of when he sat at this very spot while cradling my infant self in his arms, unwilling to let me go, even if it was for my own safety. "Plus, it's cozy."
"You're not wrong about that," he smiles as he sits on the sofa beside me. "That's one of the reasons why I like to come here myself. It helps to calm me when I'm feeling upset or lonely..." He then gives a sideways glance toward me as he adds under his breath in a nudging manner, "Or when I need to get something off my chest."
I give a sideways glance back at him, knowing exactly what he is referring to, but I am reluctant to talk about it at this time. Obviously, since I seriously botched things up between us, and I regret it immensely.
He must sense my thoughts and reluctance to talk, because he says, insisting on talking anyway, "I think it's time we talked. Wouldn't you agree?"
"Not really," I mumble shamefully. Not like you'll give me a choice; I add in my head but do not say.
"But we need to," he says in an insistent tone. "Rather, you know you need to. It's alright. I'm the only one here; there's nobody else here to listen to us. Well, no one else besides your grandparents, but they're still in the Med Bay taking care of your mother. It's just me here. You can talk to me."
I shake my head, my anxiety increasing. "I don't want to talk about it. Once I do, you'll get mad at me... Maybe even give me up again, this time for good." I can't imagine being banished from the TARDIS forever, never being allowed to travel through Space and Time again.
Just when I thought I finally found a place to properly fit in, I think dismally in my head. To finally fit into a life where I can be accepted for who I really am. If Dad—the Doctor—took that away from me...
"Give you up again?" he frowns incredulously. "Absolutely not! Why in all of Space-Time would I want to do that again? I would never do that again, no matter how horrible something might be. Why would you even think that?"
I shrug timidly. "I don't know. I mean, after what I did..."
I shake my head. Correction: what I almost did, if my mother-guardian hadn't done it herself. If I'd never made that damn decision in the first place...
I then groan, burying my face in my hands. "It was all my fault. If it weren't for me, she'd still be alive. They both would. But they're gone, and it's all my fault. That was the stupidest idea! I should never have asked Strax to do it! I shouldn't have done anything! I should've just listened to you and stayed in the TARDIS! I was reckless and stubborn, and because of that, that got them killed! I never should've left them in the first place!"
Dad nods understandingly at my words. "Strax didn't choose to put those grenades in place, did he? Someone else asked him to do that." He then deepens his voice to an angry whisper. "It was you. You tasked Strax to put all those grenades in place while we went off to find your mother. Strax did all of that under your order."
"The Silence needed to be taken down in one way or another," I growl in response, shrugging carelessly. "That was the only way I could think of at the time. Since you weren't going to let me do it, I was going to make someone else do it instead."
"Why?" Dad frowns at me. "Why the hell would you do something like that?"
"Why not?" I shrug back, finally looking at him. "After everything they did to us, they needed to pay for everything they did, and this was the price. At least, that's what I thought at the time."
"Nova, do you even hear yourself?" he says in an incredulous tone, shaking his head. "You nearly committed mass genocide! Worse, you made your mother-guardian commit mass genocide! I can't believe you'd do something like that! You have no idea how upset I am about this!"
"You think I'm not upset at what I did?" I snap back. "Of course I am; at least now I am! I know what I did was wrong! I know it was wrong of me to have not cared that what I was doing was wrong! I know I put everyone in terrible danger, which, again, I didn't care about at the time, and I feel awful! God, I feel so awful for what I did, and I know I can't go back and change what's happened, no matter how much I wish I could! I know! I was a terrible friend! I was a terrible daughter! I should've stayed in the TARDIS like you said, then none of this would've happened!" At this point, I can't help but sob uncontrollably, burying my face in my knees. "You must hate me for what I did. It was unforgivable. I don't blame you if you feel the need to give me up again. To ban me from the TARDIS forever. I know I deserve it, and I know simply apologizing will never be enough, but I'm sorry. I really am. I am so sorry."
After a few seconds, my father does something unexpected. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a hug, even when I feel that I don't deserve one from him. "Nova..." he says in a calming voice, holding me against his chest tightly. "I told you, I would never give you up again, no matter what you do, and I certainly don't hate you. Yes, I'm disappointed that you did this, but I now understand why you did it. You wanted revenge; I completely understand that. Of course I understand that; I felt the exact same way when I did what I did to end the Last Great Time War."
"I know," I speak up. "That was why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you'd be angry when you found out I was going to do almost the exact same thing to the Silence as what you did to end the Time War. Rather someone else do it and not me. I just didn't expect my mother-guardian..." I begin sobbing again, thinking of her.
"As I said, she was brave," he assures me while rubbing his hand on my back soothingly. "Sure, she volunteered to wipe out the Silence in your place, but she saved you from doing it yourself, and I would've been much more disappointed if you had done it yourself."
"But she didn't have to," I object in shame. "Nobody had to. There was absolutely no reason to have wiped out the Silence at all. I understand that now. There are other ways to stop them, but genocide is not one of them. I should've known better. In fact, I did know better, but at the time I just didn't care, and I feel awful about it. I feel even more awful, knowing I can't change anything."
Dad sighs sadly. "Unfortunately, that's true, but if there's anything you can do, it's that you can learn from your mistakes. Prevent yourself and others from making the same mistakes in the future."
"That's lame," I sigh back, rolling my eyes as I pull away from him. "There's got to be something more I can do than just that."
He smiles, saying, "Well, if there is, I will do everything I can to help you find it. So will your mother and grandparents. That's what family is for. I know I've said this a million times, and I will keep saying it until my last breath... You are seared onto our hearts always, Nova Susan Song, and nothing will ever change that. Not one thing." He hugs me again and kisses my forehead lovingly.
I sigh again as I wrap my own arms around him and lay my head on his shoulder. "How the heck are you so forgiving? Especially over something that normal people would find totally unforgiving?"
He chuckles at this. "Well, as you should know by now, I'm not like 'normal' people. In fact, I am far from normal. I think I'm rather incredible."
"No arguments here," I chuckle back in agreement. I then say, thinking of Mom, "Speaking of Mom, do you think she'll be awake soon?" I remember being able to see her briefly earlier this morning, but I was unable to talk to her since she was still comatose, and Rory only allowed me a few minutes with her before sending me out again.
Dad nods. "She should. I mentioned that it would take a few days to recover from that surgery, so it shouldn't be much longer. She should wake up sometime today, actually."
I nod, feeling anxious. "Good, 'cause I really want to talk to her. She must feel awful after everything she went through...assuming she remembers everything she went through. I want to tell her that none of it was her fault and that I forgive her for...uh, this." I say this last bit as I gesture to my new body, suddenly feeling awkward.
"I understand," he nods sincerely. "You'll get your chance to talk to her soon. Don't worry. Let's stop by the Med Bay anyway, just to see how things are going. I'm sure Rory won't mind letting you spend a little extra time with her this time." He rises from the sofa as he says this, pulling me up with him.
I nod in agreement. "I would like that. I don't care how much longer I have to wait. I want to be there with her when she wakes up."
"I'll talk to Rory," Dad says as he leads me away from the fireplace. "Come on, let's go find him."
We arrive at the Med Bay a few minutes later, finding my grandfather sitting alone with my still comatose mother, looking ready to pass out from tiredness.
"Hey, Rory," Dad says as we approach. "How is she?"
He sighs in exhaustion, looking up at us as he attempts to rub the sleep out of his eyes. "Still out cold but doing much better. Vitals are stable, and her head is healing very nicely...and surprisingly fast, I might add, which is highly unusual."
"She's half-Time Lord," Dad shrugs, "so of course she'd heal fairly quickly. Where's Amy?" After he asks this, I look around, noticing for the first time that my grandmother is absent, which I find a bit strange.
"She's gone to sleep," Rory says with a yawn. "She pulled an all-nighter with me last night, so she's pretty out of it. I'm actually thinking of joining her, if you don't mind watching River for a bit, Doctor."
"Of course," Dad nods with a smile. "Go on and get some rest, Rory. Nova and I will look after her. We'll let you know if anything changes."
"Thanks, Doctor," Rory sighs in relief as he rises from the chair and prepares to leave to join his wife. "I'll see you guys later."
"Goodnight, Rory," I call to him as he leaves.
"Goodnight, Nova," he calls back to me with a smile. "Nice hair, by the way. Sorry I didn't get around to saying it before."
"It's cool," I smile back. "Thanks anyway. Goodnight." He leaves the Med Bay without another word.
I remain silent for several minutes as I pull up the chair that Rory was sitting in closer to Mom's bedside and take her hand, holding it tightly in my own as I've done every time I've visited her. I comment on how cold her hand is, and Dad responds by rushing off to fetch her an extra blanket. I spend the several minutes silently watching Dad check Mom's vitals and the like as I fight myself not to fall asleep, much like Rory before.
"Hey," Dad eventually speaks up once I'm on the cusp of falling asleep out of boredom. "I'm happy we had that talk earlier."
"Are you still mad about all that?" I ask, still feeling slightly embarrassed.
"Let's just say I'm not as mad as I was before we had that talk," he admits calmly, "which is why I'm glad we had it when we did."
I sigh, glancing down at Mom in shame. "Honestly, I'm still mad at myself for what I did, and if Mom knew..."
"If she knew, I'm sure she'd feel the same way as I do," Dad says as he walks around the bed to me and lays a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Sure, she might be a bit mad about some things, but she'd be proud about other things."
"How can anyone be proud for what I did?" I frown incredulously. "Because of my recklessness, I nearly jeopardized the entire mission."
Dad shakes his head. "No, no, no, Nova, you got it wrong. I've put more thought into it, and I've come to realize that you didn't jeopardize the mission at all. You did the right thing to go against me in the way that you did."
"What?" I frown in shock. "That's insane, hearing you, of all people, say that. Who are you, and what have you done with my father?" I say that last bit as a slight joke, but I feel serious about it at the same time.
"I'm serious," he says with a slight chuckle. "Seeing the way you saved your mother, absolutely no one else could've done the same thing, not even me. You were the only one that could save her."
"Only because I'm Deviant," I mutter under my breath, still thinking of the word as a bad omen, since, according to Dad, it actually was considered bad for Time Lords back in the day.
He shakes his head again. "You say that like it's a bad thing, but actually, it's what makes you special. As I said, you are very powerful, Nova; even more powerful than most Time Lords. You shouldn't take your powers for granted, like you've been treating your so-called 'non-humanness' for granted. Your non-humanness is what makes you so special. Treat it like a benefit rather than a burden."
"How can I?" I can't help but groan. "All my life, I've wanted to be normal, but my non-humanness has made me anything but normal. I just don't know how I can live like that." How can anyone live with the fear of constantly being hunted and killed? How does Dad, of all people, live like that, even after living like that nonstop for over seven-hundred years?
"We'll teach you," he assures me while wrapping his arm around me in comfort. "Trust me, I want to live a normal life too. It'd be nice to retire one day; settle somewhere cozy and peaceful with you and your mother by my side for the remainder of my days." He then sighs sadly, saying, "But unfortunately, that can't happen. Not ever. Someone needs to keep our 'family business' going, and you and I are the only ones who can do that. As much as I want a normal life, I've learned ways to make my life normal, or at least as normal as I can make it."
"How?" I ask, doubting his words.
"By being 'the Doctor,'" the sound of my mother's voice answers before he does. "By never giving up, never giving in. By never being cruel, never being cowardly. But most importantly...by being the good man that he is. The good man that he's always been and ever will be. My Doctor."
"River!" Dad exclaims, relieved to see her awake, as am I.
"Mom!" I smile back. "You're finally awake!" I lean over and hug her tightly, being mindful of the bandage over her forehead where Rory had removed the chip from inside her skull.
"Hello, sweeties," she smiles as she hugs me tightly back, and Dad leans over her and gently kisses her forehead.
"I was so worried," I say, still clinging tightly around her waist. "I thought I'd never see you again. The real you, I mean. I mean, the real you that's not controlled by the Silence."
"Oh, Nova..." she sighs, rubbing my back soothingly. "You don't have to worry about me anymore. I'm back now. You saved me, remember?"
"You remember that?" I frown at her, pulling away and sitting back on the edge of her bed.
"Of course I do," she nods. "How could I forget something like that?" She then pauses and murmurs in a regretful tone, "Of course, there are lots of things I wish I could forget."
"How much do you remember?" Dad asks as he sits next to me on her bed.
"More than I would like," she sighs shamefully. "I remember everything that happened when Kovarian was in my mind. Every command she gave me... Every time she spoke through me, at least whenever she was in control, but when she'd temporarily release me I would forget, but once she'd regain control I would remember again, but I couldn't control myself any time she would." She then pauses, turning to me. "I even remember when I...in that server room... Oh, Nova... I'm so sorry."
She reaches up to caress my cheek as she says this, and I realize that she is referring to when she stabbed me through my left heart, almost killing me if not for my ability to regenerate to save my life. "Mom..." I say, squeezing her hand in comfort. "It wasn't your fault."
"I couldn't control myself," she whimpers, her eyes suddenly flooding with tears. "I tried; I really did...but I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't stop myself from k—from doing that to you. If things had been different..."
I shake my head, my own eyes filling with tears for her. "No, Mom, you can't think like that. It doesn't matter anymore. Look at me, I'm fine. Different, but fine. I'm still me; I'm still Nova."
"You've changed your hair," she smiles as she reaches up to comb her fingers through my curly auburn hair.
"Everything has changed," I say honestly. "Well, not really; it just feels like it. But yes, I've changed my hair. The truth is, I wanted to look more like my favorite person in the whole wide universe." Mom tears up even more at this.
"Oi!" Dad exclaims, seeming offended by my words. "I thought I was your favorite person in the whole wide universe!"
I shrug. "Meh, you're my second favorite person in the whole wide universe." I then say, chuckling at Dad's seemingly genuine look of disappointment, "I'm just kidding. I love you both equally. I'd be a terrible person to pick favorites."
"Oh, phew," Dad sighs in relief. "I was worried for a minute there. Actually, that's a lie. I knew you were joking from the start."
"Duh," I scoff, "of course I was."
Mom smiles, reaching back down to squeeze my hand. "Well, no matter what you look like, you're still my brave, beautiful, baby girl. I'm so proud of you, sweetie."
"As am I," Dad says as he wraps his arm around me again, and I lean into him in response. "A lot's happened since you left. I can't tell you how many things I'm proud that Nova has done in the last week, because I've honestly lost count."
Mom chuckles. "Well, you'd better tell me everything. I'm all ears."
"Perhaps you should rest first," Dad says, thinking better. "You've been through a long and difficult surgery. Rory and I spent hours trying to remove that chip from your head."
I groan at this. "Ugh, seriously, Dad? Isn't it time you found yourself a new hobby? Why this ridiculous obsession with resting? Geez!"
"Because that's what doctors do," Mom says with a shrug. "They always insist on people getting their rest."
I say, raising a skeptical eyebrow at her words, "Is it a 'doctor' thing, or is it a 'Doctor' thing?" I gesture at Dad when mentioning the latter.
Dad laughs, seemingly impressed with my statement. "Top notch!" he says as he gives me a high-five.
"Hey, it's a fair question," I shrug in response.
"Yes," Mom chuckles teasingly. "The answer is 'yes.'"
"That's not a proper answer to that question," I frown at her in confusion. "That just answers one of them, though I don't know which one it answers."
"Yes," Dad says like he's confirming her answer. But which answer? I groan in my head.
"But 'yes' to what?" I ask, still legitimately confused. "The first part of the question, or the second?" Or both?
"Yes," they say together this time.
I sigh. Alright, that's it! I'm done! "Gah!" I groan out loud, throwing my hands up in exasperation. "I give up! I've only used this new brain and body for two days; give me a break!" Both of my parents chortle at this, and I find myself doing the same.
Of course, instead of letting Mom rest like Dad insisted, we end up staying up all night chatting about the events of the last week. Dad and I take turns telling stories about our bond and adventures together since Mom left me with him to find my guardians and Hazel. In all honesty, this is the first time that I experience being a proper family with the Doctor and River Song, as, under normal circumstances, they would always be called to a time or place to deal with some threat that would purposefully interrupt their—our—normal family time. Since getting to know them more, I wish every day would be like this for us, even with the occasional time- and space-travelling on the side.
At one point during the long chat, I remember the mysterious ring that Mom wore on her finger that Dad and I didn't recognize, and I ask her about it, as well as ask how she was able to escape the TARDIS without her Vortex Manipulator, and she explained that the ring was actually another form of time-travel, called a Time Ring. She explained that as a time-traveler, it is ideal to have a backup form of time-travel in case the typical device used for time-travel—her VM in this case—malfunctions or gets stolen, and Mom had the idea of "purchasing"—more like stealing, I think to myself—a Time Ring as said backup in case the same thing were to happen to her VM. This made total sense to me, and I confirmed this by theorizing that Kovarian, or whoever was in control of Mom's mind at the time, must've known about the Ring and the fact that Dad and I took her VM away for her own safety, and Kovarian made Mom use her Time Ring—her backup form of time-travel—to escape the TARDIS. After this was said, Dad comments on his regret that he should've scanned the ring anyway with his sonic; that way, he would've realized it was a way for Mom (Kovarian) to escape and would've taken it away as well if he'd known. I replied by saying that it no longer mattered, now that Mom was back with us, alive and well.
Speaking of Kovarian, this instantly leads me to remembering that conversation with the witch about how I had her to thank for my very existence, since she was the one who brought my parents together to begin with, this fact bringing me to the realization that my birth and everything that happened leading up to that was a fixed point in Time. I ask my parents if they were aware of this, and I learn the shocking truth that they did not know this until I had first explained it, and now that I have it makes total sense to them now. I comment on how absolutely bizarre it all feels, but Dad eventually speaks up, saying that none of it matters anymore, now that the Silence are (mostly) gone and that we are all back together as a family, as we all should've been from the very beginning.
It's not until my grandparents rejoin us in the Med Bay that we end up realizing that we've literally spent all night talking, but my grandparents end up joining us in the conversation as well for another few hours until my grandfather officially sends everyone out to let Mom rest properly. After this, I spend another few days with my bio-family until Hazel eventually calls, saying she's ready to attend college with me. Around this same time, Mom is finally discharged from the Med Bay and is eventually called back to her professorial duties at the university she teaches—Luna University, which, as exactly as what it says on the tin, is a college campus literally situated on the moon (rather, it will be three millennia from my time). After dropping Mom off at her college campus in the future, Dad volunteers to drop Hazel and I off at ours in the Present Day, with the condition that I spend every other semester travelling with him to help me gain more experience in his 'field.' I cheer at this, saying, "Whoo! I can't wait for the end of the semester already!"
Thankfully, Hazel and I spend a normal first semester of college with nothing strange or extraterrestrial happening. Come halfway through the semester, I get a message from Mom, suggesting that I spend the Christmas holidays with she and her parents, as I'd get the opportunity to spend proper time with them, and I graciously accept. I even spend my free time outside of classes writing and practicing a new song on my guitar that I intend to play for my family when I visit, as well as designing my own sonic screwdriver of which I send the blueprints to Mom to send to Dad to have it made real by the TARDIS by Christmas.
"Oh, finally!" Hazel sighs as she enters the dorm room after completing her final exam. "My last final is officially over, at least for the semester! Winter Break, here we come!"
"How'd you do?" I ask curiously as I finish packing my suitcase, awaiting my mother's arrival to pick me up and take me to her parents' house for the holidays.
Hazel groans. "Ugh, that Chem final was abysmal, Calc II was even worse, but I feel I didn't do too badly on Victorian History. I must say, you really helped me a bunch with that one; then again, that's only because you've actually been to the era yourself. Knowing you, no doubt you have straight 'A's across the board."
"Would you feel better about your grades if I told you I didn't?" I ask with a shrug.
"Maybe," she shrugs back before frowning. "Wait, did you actually fail an exam? Because if you did, maybe I would feel better about my grades, knowing I've finally outsmarted the smartest person on Earth."
I chuckle at this before saying in a teasing manner, "Well, I hate to disappoint you, but I didn't fail any exams. Of course I aced them all."
"I'm not surprised," she sighs, rolling her eyes as she tosses her backpack carelessly on her bunk. "I sensed you were lying from the start. You're a terrible liar; you know that?"
I snort at this. "I didn't lie; I just asked a simple question. And I'm not as terrible of a liar as my father is. He's literally the worst liar in the universe, which is ironic since his number-one rule is 'The Doctor Lies.'"
"Seriously?" Hazel snorts with a frown. "That's the most ridiculous rule I've ever heard."
I chuckle back at her in agreement. "Right? He may as well make his number-one rule 'The Doctor Lies Terribly.' Better yet, just discard the rule entirely. Lying is a really bad habit. You have no idea how big of a problem this was for me with him."
"Same with my brother," she nods understandingly. "He always got me in trouble for shit he would always start, and our parents always believed him instead of me. This always pissed me off. You're lucky you don't have an obnoxious sibling."
"I almost did, actually," I explain, "though maybe not an obnoxious one. It was a long time ago; long before I was born and not long before my dad met my mother. He said he ended up having a daughter that was a generated anomaly from a cell scrape on the back of his hand during one of his previous lives. Funny enough, he named her 'Jenny' as a result."
Hazel smiles, contemplating my statement. "'Jenny,' 'generated.' I get it. Where is she now?"
"Dead, unfortunately," I sigh sadly.
"Oh," Hazel says in a shocked tone, clearly expecting Jenny to still be alive, which she's not, as far as I know.
I nod as I continue, "Yeah. She was shot in the heart—she also had two, by the way—while saving Dad from being shot himself. She didn't survive; didn't even regenerate. I'm not sure if she even had the ability to regenerate since she wasn't born in the traditional sense, like me. Would've been cool if she did survive, then I'd have a sister somewhere out there. Dad believed we'd get along really well if she had survived."
"I'm sorry to hear about your would-have-been sister," she says in genuine apology. "I would've liked to have met her."
I smile. "Yeah, same. She sounded like a really cool girl, and a kickass one at that. Dad said she was really skilled in Acrobatics. She was able to effortlessly dodge lasers like how you see in those typical 'spy' movies. Perhaps she could've given me lessons." And to mix Acrobatics with Aikido—how flippin' awesome would that be? I think to myself.
"Then you'd really be like Jackie Chan," Hazel teases. We both laugh at this before she changes the subject. "So, what're your plans for Christmas Break? You said something about your mom coming over to pick you up sometime today."
I nod. "Yeah, that's why I'm packing right now. She could be here at literally any time with her Vortex Manipulator, and she's gonna take me to her parents' house to spend Christmas and New Years with them. I'm really excited. I didn't really get to properly spend time with my grandparents since we were too focused on my mother's recovery after that surgery, and I was dealing with the loss of my guardians and struggle to adjust to my new body after Regeneration. I mean, we talked a lot, but it didn't feel...'normal.' You know what I mean?"
"Not really," Hazel says with uncertainty.
I shrug before explaining. "I mean we didn't really talk like a normal family. It would've felt much more normal, had my mother and I not have been dealing with all that other stuff. It also would've been so much better if we'd all had a normal conversation that didn't involve everything with 'them.'" I decide to use the word 'them,' as I didn't obviously want to directly mention the Silence, the name still haunting me to this day.
"Ah, now I get it," Hazel nods, finally understanding. "It still must be frustrating knowing 'they' are still out there."
"Honestly, I don't care at this point," I shrug as I zip up my suitcase. "I don't even want to think about them anymore. I'm not going to let them ruin Christmas for my family, or my family in general. They've ruined enough." I then ask, glancing to Hazel, "What about you? What're you gonna do for your Break?"
She shrugs. "Probably go back home to my parents. Harry is spending Christmas with a friend on a road trip in Utah, so it might just be us and possibly my Auntie Mickie if she decides to visit this year. Harry said something about camping at a large lake over there that had a creepy name—ironically the same name as 'them.'"
A large lake with the same name as 'them?' Surely, she doesn't mean that lake—the lake where he was killed?
"You mean Lake Silencio?" I say, my eyes widening in shock.
"Yeah, that's the one," she says, pointing at me, indicating that I guessed it correctly. "Why; what's wrong with it?"
"Oh...uh..." I say, suddenly feeling hesitant to tell her the truth. "It's not that there's anything 'wrong' with the place, per se. It's just..."
"What?" she asks curiously when I don't finish.
I sigh, deciding to tell her. "Well...my father was killed there. Rather, he was 'killed' there." I say this last bit while making air-quotes with my fingers, showing that the 'death' didn't actually happen. "I'm sure I told you that story."
Hazel nods, remembering. "Oh yeah, that an astronaut rose from its depths and shot your father to death—but the 'death' wasn't actually real—and the person inside the astronaut suit was your mother, but she had no control of the suit since it was automated and in control by 'them.'"
I nod. "Yup, that's right. I'm surprised your brother is planning to go there next week."
"I swear, I didn't tell him that story," she says, shaking her head. "He wouldn't go there, otherwise. And besides, that story pertains to your secret, and I promised you I'd never tell anyone about your secret, especially to my brother."
"Maybe you should tell him," I suggest, "not about my secret but about the 'unfortunate accident' that happened there with my father. That way, he'd stay away from the place."
Hazel nods. "Yeah, maybe I could tell him that the lake is haunted by the spirit of a former astronaut that drowned there, and she comes to the surface of the lake to do the same to others who get too close to the water."
"Yeah, I suppose you could," I say, frowning at her unusual made-up story. "I mean, it's a beautiful location, but...yeah. I personally wouldn't want to go there after what happened to Dad, but if your brother wants to, I'm not going to stop him. Maybe nothing will happen to him there." Especially after that astronaut suit had been destroyed years ago, according to my mother. Then again, who's to say the Silence could build another automated spacesuit to use on us again in the near future? I can't help thinking to myself.
"In that case, maybe I won't say anything then," Hazel says with a shrug.
"I'd still tell him to be careful," I shrug back in response. "I mean, you never know what could happen these days."
"That's true," she nods in agreement.
"Whoa!" I exclaim, suddenly wincing in pain as I dig in my jacket pocket for the source.
"What is it?" Hazel asks with concern as she watches me take out my own psychic paper that Dad had given me before sending me to college. "You got a message?"
I immediately open the paper, revealing a message, clearly from my mother, that says, 'Waiting outside dorm building, sweetie. Come out when ready. XX' "Er, yeah," I say after reading it and shoving it back in my pocket. "Mom's here. I have to go now. Actually, I need to do one more walk-around first to make sure I have everything." I mutter to myself as I walk around the room. "Toiletries: check. Clothes: check. Assortment of bandanas and headbands: check. School I.D. for when I come back to the dorm: check. Guitar case with all my music: check. Sonic, Gallifreyan locket, and TARDIS key: check, check, and check. Okay, I think I have everything. I'll come back and pack everything else after the holidays before I go off with Dad in the Spring."
"Will I get to see you again before you go off on your adventures with him?" Hazel asks hopefully.
"I hope so," I say, hugging her as I throw my backpack over my shoulder. "If not, I'll see you at the end of the summer."
"You better keep in touch and send me pics every day," she says in an insistent tone as I gather my suitcase and guitar case, prepared to leave the dorm for the holidays. "I'll be very disappointed if you don't."
"I'm not sure if I'll have any connection from another time or even from another planet," I chuckle, "but I'll try. I'll ask Dad to figure something out."
"You better," she says again as she releases me from our hug. "I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too," I say as I open the door to exit our dorm room. "See you next summer."
"Have fun!" she waves at me as I exit. "Don't come back a stranger! Tell your family 'hi' for me!"
"Will do!" I wave back before exiting. "Love ya!"
A minute later, I find my mother standing outside the dorm building waiting for me. "Hello, sweetie," she greets me once she sees me.
"Hey, Mom," I say as I hug her. "I think I have everything."
"Including your guitar," she says, smiling down at my guitar case.
"Yeah, I thought I'd play for everyone," I say, smiling back. "Plus, I spent all semester working on a new song for you and Dad that I think you guys will like, though I'm not gonna share it yet. Spoilers."
"Of course," she chuckles. "You are your mother's daughter."
"I wouldn't ever plan on being anyone else," I tease her. I then sigh, looking around and noticing the absence of the iconic police box that is Dad's TARDIS. "So, no TARDIS this time?"
"No TARDIS this time," she says, shaking her head sadly. "This time we're using this. My Vortex Manipulator." She lifts up her arm to show me the strange, yet familiar, leather strap fastened there.
"Yeah, you told me a little about it," I say a little nervously. "I'm not sure if I'll prefer it over a TARDIS." Normally in the TARDIS, I have something to hang onto, but this time I'll only have my mother to keep me grounded.
She chuckles at this. "Most people don't, and by 'most people' I mean your father. He usually describes Vortex Manipulators as 'a cheap and nasty way of Time-Travel,' but I beg to differ, only because I've used it much more than a TARDIS."
"What's it like?" I ask, my anxiety increasing.
"You'll see," she says as she adjusts the coordinates on the screen of the device around her wrist before lifting her wrist to me. "Take my arm."
"What's gonna happen?" I ask as I hesitantly hook my arm carrying my guitar case through the handle of my suitcase before taking her arm.
"Don't worry," she assures me. "it's perfectly safe. Though, since this is your first time using one, you might want to close your eyes."
I frown at her. "Why would I want to close my—WHOA!"
Without warning, the world immediately changes around me, as I am now standing on a casual Modern-Day London street with several rows of houses aligned beside a small, wooded park and adorned with Christmas decorations. One of the houses seems to stand out more than the rest, this one being painted a bright blue color with a darker, blue-colored door—the door's color being reminiscent of the TARDIS's blue box exterior.
"Holy bologna!" I say in absolute shock, feeling my head spinning. "What on earth just happened?! Where are we?"
"We teleported approximately twenty miles away from your college campus," Mom says as she casually walks toward the blue house. "This is where your grandparents live now. They used to live in a Podunk town called Leadworth when they were kids; rather, when we were kids. I used to live there too. I grew up with them as their best friend, you understand."
I nod as I rush to catch up to her. "Yeah, and at the same time they didn't know you were actually their daughter. I still find that to be very funny." One thing I especially find funny is the fact that my grandmother named my mother after her best friend who is also my mother. Seriously, how bizarre is that?
"Oh, it was," she chuckles in agreement. "We still laugh about it to this day." She then asks as she rings the blue house's doorbell, "How're you feeling?"
"My head is still spinning a bit," I say as I make circling motions with my fingers on my forehead to soothe a slight headache. "That was insane! I think I definitely prefer a TARDIS. No offense." Sure, using a Vortex Manipulator might be faster, but I personally would rather physically walk out of one place and into another (especially with something to hang onto) instead of being zapped to another place within milliseconds out of nowhere.
"No problem," Mom chuckles in response. "You'll be fine in a few seconds. Maybe with a little more practice you'll get used to using a Vortex Manipulator."
In that moment, the TARDIS-blue door opens, and the familiar face of my grandmother greets us. "Mels! Nova! Oh, it's so good to see you both!" she smiles joyously as she wraps both of her arms around us. "I'm glad you got here safely. Come in! Let me help you with your bags, Nova."
"Thanks, Amy," I smile appreciatively as I let her take my suitcase as I take everything else and step into the house. "I'm so happy to be spending the rest of the year with you and Rory."
"Rory is still currently at the hospital," Amy explains as she follows us into the house, "but he should be coming home in a few hours. In the meantime we can just hang out here. I've got your rooms all prepared upstairs."
"Great!" I say as we follow Amy upstairs to the upper floor.
"You brought your guitar?" Amy says, nodding at my guitar case.
I nod. "Yeah. I thought I'd play some for you guys. I actually wrote a song for Mom and Dad over the semester. I hope to play it for you guys while I'm here."
"Do we know whether or not the Doctor will be joining us for Christmas Dinner?" she asks us but more to Mom since she knows Dad better.
I decide to answer. "I don't know. I tried asking him once, but he's not very good at answering his phone."
"He never is," Mom chuckles at my response.
"Well, we'll be sure to have a place set for him if he does decide to show up," Amy assures us. "We always do."
"We'll keep our ears open," I say, knowing the TARDIS's scraping sound will indicate his arrival, should he actually decide to show up, and I sincerely hope he does, as I'm not playing my song until he does.
Amy and Mom eventually leave me to unpack, and once I finish, I go back downstairs and chat with them for hours on end about our travels with Dad and my first semester of college (the latter topic having, of course, not much to talk about). My grandfather eventually comes home from work at the hospital, and he joins in on the conversation, adding in his experiences as a Roman Centurion, since I was highly interested in the topic when he first mentioned it. This routine repeats just about every day through Christmas Eve.
Come Christmas Eve, when Amy and I return home from getting last-minute ingredients for Christmas Dinner at her local grocery store, we find my father having finally arrived, sitting casually in my grandparents' living room with my grandfather and mother. Throughout the day, I help my mother and grandmother prepare Christmas Dinner while the boys talk about 'boy' stuff in the living room. While we're preparing dinner, Amy has Christmas music playing in the background, and I absentmindedly sing along to the music as I cook alongside them. My grandmother comments on how beautiful of a singer I am, and I respond by telling her stories of when I was picked to be the lead singer during my school choir and orchestra concerts throughout junior high and high school and how my recent Regeneration has seemed to make my singing voice better than it was before, which is amazing. I joked that my singing voice may be able to top Christine Daae's from Phantom of the Opera now, which makes me proceed to telling the story of when I almost auditioned to play the role of Christine during my Sophomore Year of high school at my choir teacher's request, but I was unable to audition because my Aikido classes took up too much time. Needless to say, if I'd known the dark truth behind my Aikido classes and quit like I should've, I would've auditioned in a heartbeat, especially since Christine Daae was my dream role if I was to audition in a Broadway or West End Musical.
"I think you would've been a brilliant Christine," Amy comments, smiling at me from across the kitchen. "I would've given anything to see you in that role."
"Thanks, Amy," I smile back at her as I continue chopping the apples for our dessert.
Once dinner is ready, we all spend time eating and conversing as a typical family. We even participate in the British Christmas Cracker tradition, which I have never done—this wasn't a traditional thing in America—but have always wanted to try it out.
"Blimey!" Dad says after dinner has finished. "That was an excellent dinner; one of the best I've had in a while! Nicely done, ladies!"
"Well, since you boys decided to be lazy on the sofa in the living room," Amy teases, "we decided to do all the cooking for you."
"You're welcome, lazy boys!" I chuckle, adding to the teasing.
"Well, you ladies did an excellent job," Dad says, ignoring our teasing, "especially on the turkey and potatoes. Great stuff! Ten out of ten!"
"Anyone up for dessert?" Amy suggests. "Nova and I made Homemade Apple Pie."
"Maybe later, Mother Dear," Mom says, rubbing her belly. "I'm too full to eat anything else at the moment."
"Me too," her father agrees.
"I'll try a piece," Dad offers, raising his hand. "I like Apple Pie, especially Homemade Apple Pie. Homemade Apple Pie is brilliant!"
I scoff at this. "Geez, Dad! How can you still be hungry after eating two plates of food?"
"I'm twelve-hundred years old going on two-thousand!" he shrugs in a 'what's wrong with that?' tone. "I'm still a growin' boy! Growin' boys gotta eat!" Everyone laughs in response, including me.
"Hey, when we're all done eating, we should do a family photo," I suggest. "This was a tradition of ours when I grew up with my guardians and their families. We should start our own."
"That's actually a really good idea, Nova," Amy smiles at the thought. "We should do it."
"Yeah, let's do it," Rory nods as he gets up from the table and leaves the room. "I'll go find us a camera."
"A family photo..." Dad says with a melancholic look on his face as everyone disperses. "I haven't been part of a family photo in...well, ever."
"You've never been part of a family photo before?" I say, genuinely shocked.
"It was never a big thing on my home planet," he sighs with a shrug. "Plus, I told you that I never got along with anyone in my family; well, no one besides my first wife and granddaughter."
I shrug back. "Well, I insist that you be a part of ours. Actually, I just remembered!" I ask, turning to Mom, "Hey, Mom, where did you put Dad's Christmas present from us? Is it under the tree?" After she confirms, I say as I hunt for the box under the tree, "Mom and I got you a really nice outfit that was a major struggle to find the pieces of. I wanted you to wear it for the photo." Once I find it, I immediately hand it to Dad, urging him, "Go try it on."
"This isn't some silly clown costume, is it?" he says, staring at the package suspiciously.
I snort at the idea. "No, it's a suit! A tweed one from the Victorian Era! It even comes with a bow tie! Go try it on!"
"Should be your size and everything!" Mom adds in confirmation.
"Alright," Dad says after a few more seconds as he brings the wrapped package upstairs to Mom's room.
"Oh, I can't wait to see him in it," I say excitedly to Mom shortly after he leaves earshot. "He's gonna look so good!"
"Hopefully this time he'll actually look his age for once," she snorts as Rory returns with a Nikon F5 and tripod in his hands.
"I found a camera," he says, holding up the camera. "It's not much, but hopefully it works."
"Set it up there in the living room facing the fireplace," Amy says, pointing toward the center of the living room. "That'll be a good spot."
"Your father and I got you something as well," Mom says as she tousles my curls playfully. "You can open it now, if you want. It's that small long one in the front."
I run back over to the tree and grab the small white box with a blue ribbon, making me think of the same present that they gave me as a coming-of-age gift that contained my current sonic screwdriver and Gallifreyan locket. I bring it back over to the table for Mom to see and open it to discover another sonic screwdriver that I recognize as the one I designed over the semester. "It's the sonic screwdriver I designed!" I gasp in delight. "You actually made it into a real one! It's exactly the way I designed it! Thank you so much! You're the best mom ever!" I hug her as I examine the new sonic and press the button to try it out, the tip emitting a bright purple color.
"Oh, cool!" my grandmother says once she sees my new sonic, setting Dad's pie slice on the table at his spot for him to eat when he returns. "You got a new sonic screwdriver! That's the best design yet!"
"Of course it's the best design!" I chuckle jokingly. "I designed it!"
"I like how it's got three prongs instead of four," my grandfather says as he briefly steps back over to examine my new sonic, "and the crystal is purple."
"Purple is my second favorite color," I smile back at him.
"As is mine," I hear my father's voice, having returned from upstairs. We all turn to him and gasp at his new suit that is very similar to the purple suit he wore in Victorian London when we helped the Paternoster Gang with the fears that came to life, except he's now wearing a purple tweed jacket instead of the thick overcoat he wore during that adventure, complete with a vest with a silver chain attached to the pocket.
"Ooh, Doctor..." my grandmother turns to him in shock, looking him up and down.
"Nice suit, mate," my grandfather whistles out of impression. "Very sharp."
"Thanks, Ponds," he smiles back at them, smoothing out his new tweed jacket and straightening his new matching bow tie. "Thankfully, it's not at all like the silly clown costume I was worried it was going to be."
"Quite the opposite," Mom says in a dreamy tone as she approaches him. "Now that, my dear, is a suit. So sexy." She then wraps her arms around him and kisses him passionately, seemingly not having a care at all if the rest of us are watching.
"Lookin' good, Dad," I say, hugging them after they've had their moment together. "That's the best look on you yet!"
"Thank you, Nova," he says, hugging me back. "How do you like your new sonic?"
"I love it! It's just the way I designed it! I'll make sure to never lose it," I promise him.
"Alright, I think I've got the camera properly set up," Rory announces. "Uh, Amy? Could you come over here and help me?"
"Really?" his wife says in an incredulous tone as she approaches him. "You don't know how to use a camera?"
"Of course I do!" Rory says before an argument ensues between the couple as Amy shows Rory how to use the camera.
Meanwhile, I ask Dad what I should do with my old sonic, and he suggests that I either keep it for myself or give it away to Hazel, the latter of which I ultimately choose to do, hoping she'll accept it when I return to campus after the holidays.
"Hey, uh, Nova?" Rory calls to us again. "How do you want to go about this photo?"
"Just stand as a group and smile, like a typical loving family would," Amy says in an obvious tone. "How else, Stupid Face?"
"There are multiple ways to pose for a picture," Rory says with a shrug. "I would like to know what pose we're going for before we just get in the picture."
"Yeah, we'll just do the regular pose," I nod, not having any specific preference. "Is everyone okay with that?"
"Sounds good," Dad shrugs in response.
"I'm up for anything," Mom says with her own shrug.
"Alright," Rory nods. "Everyone get into position."
We all stand in front of the fireplace, me standing in front of my parents with them standing behind me with their hands placed delicately on each of my shoulders and their free arms wrapped tightly around each other's waists. Amy stands on the other side of my father, and Rory rushes to Amy's other side once he pushes the button on the camera that automatically takes a picture after ten seconds. He sets the camera to do this three times so we can pick the best picture later.
"Aw, that's beautiful!" Amy says as she rushes to see the pictures after our photoshoot is over. "Look how beautiful we are!"
"I want a copy of this photo to put in a frame on my bedside table," I say after we chose our favorite photo of the three. I even make a mental note to find individual photos of my parents to put in my locket to always remember them.
"That was fun!" Rory says with a smile as he packs away the camera and tripod. "We should definitely make this a family tradition! Good idea, Nova!"
"Who wants to hear a song I wrote for y'all?" I ask, suddenly feeling like playing my guitar since I haven't played yet since I've been here.
"Oh! You gonna play for us?" my grandmother says excitedly as she begins clearing up the table with my mother's help.
"Yeah! Let me go get my guitar!" I say as I anxiously rush back upstairs to fetch my guitar case and set up my station on the ottoman while the rest of the family clean up the mess from dinner and get comfy in the living room. Once the table is cleaned, Amy asks to film my performance on her mobile phone to cherish the moment, and I agree, asking her to send me a copy of the video to send to Hazel later.
"I've been working on this song for months," I tell everyone as I tune my guitar strings before playing.
"What's it about?" my grandmother asks curiously.
"I don't really want to say anything about it, since you'll be able to figure it out pretty quickly based on the lyrics I'll sing," I explain, "but the only thing I will say is that it's about Mom and Dad and their love for each other. It's called 'Perfect.' I wrote the lyrics myself and put a lot of practice into this song specifically for this moment. I hope you all love it as much as Hazel and I do. I played it for her, and it made her cry, so I took that as a sign that it must be that good."
"Let's hear it," Mom says as she cuddles close to my father on the sofa, and Rory does the same with Amy.
"Okay..." I say, taking a deep breath before I begin playing.
'I found a love, for me
Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead
Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet
Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
But darling, just kiss me slow
Your hearts are all I own
And in your eyes, you're holding mine
Baby, I'm dancing in the dark
With you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass
Listening to our favorite song
When you said you looked a mess
I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it
Darling, you look perfect tonight.'
Everyone applauds once I finish.
"Beautifully done, Nova!" Dad says, clapping along with everyone else. "Bravo!"
"Yes, that was beautiful," Mom says with tearful eyes. "I can see now why that song was specifically meant for us. I saw a lot of us in the lyrics. 'Your hearts are all I own...' 'Fighting against all odds...' 'I see my future in your eyes...' Beautifully chosen words."
"I always told her she had a way with words," Dad says, smiling proudly at me. "Was I ever wrong about that?"
"Absolutely not, my love," Mom agrees wholeheartedly with him. "And yes, she does have a way with words. She takes after her father."
"Wow!" Amy says. "You should really consider a career in Music or West End. You really do have a beautiful voice."
"Thanks, guys," I say, smiling at everyone as I put my guitar aside. "I put a lot of time and effort into this song. I'm really happy y'all enjoyed it."
"What gave you the inspiration to write that song?" my grandfather asks curiously.
"Isn't it obvious?" I say as I stand up from the ottoman. "It was all of you! All of you are the perfect family for me. The perfect family I will ever want. You all are my everything, and you always will be from now until the end of Time, and I couldn't ask for a better one. You all are seared onto my hearts always."
At this, Dad rises up from the sofa, as does Mom, and approaches me with tearful eyes. "And you will be seared onto ours, Nova Susan Song," he says as he caresses my cheek lovingly as a legit tear runs down his own cheek. "Forever and ever. I'm so proud to have you as my daughter."
"Our daughter," Mom corrects him as she wipes the tear away from his face. "I, too, couldn't ask for a better one. We love you so much!" In that moment, they both wrap me in a tearful hug, burying their faces in my shoulders and hair.
I bury my own face in their chests and wrap my own arms around them, refusing to let go as my grandparents get up from their positions and join in the hug.
"I love you too. Forever and ever..."
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"The Odd Life of Nova Sue--Part 2: Discovering" IS NOW OUT! Check my profile to find it :)
PREQUEL "Arising: A Nova Sue Prequel" is also available to read via my profile :)