[TW: Vent]
I have random depressive and hyperactive episodes. I also undereat most of the time. I had too much junk food the last couple days. The worst part is that I am my own worst enemy and best friend at the same time. I vent to myself, but I also beat myself up (emotionally) over small things. I have mentioned being on the autism spectrum and potentially having a minor case of depression/ADHD to my mom who is NOT supportive of my identity, and she just denied EVERYTHING.
Depression signs/symptoms I have:
- Anxiety
- Hopelessness (I only think negative things about myself)
- Sadness (I'm more sad than happy in my opinion, but my mom thinks otherwise)
- Social isolation
- Recurring thoughts about death (Even though I'm afraid of it)
- Outbursts
- Frustration
- Loss of interest in activities I used to love doing
- Feelings of worthlessness
- Trouble thinking
- Worry
- Negativity
- Extreme emotional sensitivity
- Feeling misunderstood
- Avoiding social interaction
Autism/ASD signs/symptoms I have:
- Stimming/Repetitive movements and sounds
- Sensitive hearing
- Becoming "obsessed" with some things (Only having some major interests that last a long time)
- Bad with eye contact (I've gotten better)
- Finding it easier to make friends online
- Getting along with people older or younger than me more than people my age
- Randomly memorizing things
- Easily becoming overwhelmed
- Problems with friendships
- No tolerance for loud environments or sudden changes in plans
- Sensory overloads in the ears
- Anxiety
ADHD signs/symptoms I have:
- Lack of focus (Sometimes)
- Not listening during conversations (Sometimes)
- Interrupting
- Hyperfixating on things that aren't school-related during school
- Being kind of forgetful (It's not hard for me to lose things, lol)
- Sometimes instantly forgetting something as soon as it's said
- Bouncing legs/Tapping feet
- Struggling with following directions sometimes
- Heightened emotions