CHAPTER THREE
CALM BEFORE THE STORM
A snow storm approaches as the wind starts to hit its peak. A slight sense of panic ignites itself in Alaska's chest when she realizes that she can't see anything before or behind her. With the hood of her jacket over her head, Alaska squints her eyes in attempts at finding some sense of direction. Their next lookout isn't that far, but Alaska knows that they need to wait out the storm before they could get there.
In the distance, Alaska could see a familiar building and begins to lead them towards it. "We're almost there!" She yells over the storm, hoping that Ellie could hear her from behind.
"Where are we going?" Ellie wonders out loud, following Alaska into some unfamiliar shelter.
"Just trust me," Alaska mutters absentmindedly as she closes the door and jumps off her horse.
Alaska still feels some sort of tension in the air that surrounds her. Something is in the way. Alaska knows Ellie all too well, and she knows that she feels this way because Ellie is trying her hardest to hold onto her anger and the hurt feelings she felt those few years ago. Ellie knows that it's too late to let go of her grudge on Alaska, so she holds it tightly with all of her strength.
Ellie hops off Shimmer and ties her beside Junie, letting them warm up. "You been here before?" She asks, still unsure about the place.
"Yeah, Dina and I used to come here all the time." Alaska assures. "Used to be Eugene's place. He sorta left it to Dina after he died— not like she ever came back after that." She explains, thinking about the last time she'd even mentioned Eugene's name.
"Alright," Ellie nods her head. "Let's make sure it's clear." She mutters lowly before they separated.
Ellie steps into one of the rooms, finding the generator and getting the lights to turn on. Alaska ultimately wanders around, reminiscing about the times when she and Dina had escaped Jackson for a small smoke session. Eugene and Dina had gone on a bunch of patrols together, so he trusted her with his little hideout.
Alaska is quite good at observing things— finding patterns, and things that don't belong, and whatnot. So, as she steps deeper and deeper into Eugene's place, entering rooms she's never entered before, she notices a bookcase. There isn't anything particularly strange about the bookcase itself, but it seems slightly out of place and Alaska is determined to find out what's on the other side.
She contemplates for a second, wondering if she really wants to know what's down there. But her impulses inevitably take over, so with all of her strength, Alaska pushes the bookcase to the side. Surprisingly, the bookcase slides across the floorboards with ease, exposing a door that had been hiding behind it.
Suddenly, Ellie appears beside her with an equally perplexed expression after having searched and cleared the place. "The hell's down there?" She asks with her eyebrows stitched together.
Alaska glances up at her, "I have no idea." She speaks casually as she opens the door.
They're instantly met with a set of stairs that lead underground, lit dimly by old flickering lightbulbs held together with loose cords.
"I swear, if there's dead bodies down here, or some shit, I'm so done." Alaska says at a fast pace, internally panicking with hesitance.
Ellie looks at her with a confused expression, "Why would there be dead bodies down there?" She asks rhetorically with a slightly bitter tone.
"Why wouldn't there be dead bodies down there?" She reasons in a frantic state. Ellie's face suggests that she isn't bothered at all. "I'm serious. This is how serial killers used to hide their victims." Alaska continues.
Ellie merely sighs, stepping in front of Alaska to lead the way down the stairs. Alaska follows closely behind, still thinking about the possibility of accumulated and decomposed bodies— as if she hasn't seen and dealt with much worse things in her lifetime.
"I read this old article one time about a serial killer that hid his victims under his home and no one realized it 'til it started to smell." Alaska continues on, rambling in a state of nervousness.
"There's worse things than serial killers, y'know." Ellie mutters, stepping down the stairs.
"But think about it. In this world, serial killers could get away with anything. They can't even get help or be contained anymore." Alaska speaks at a fast pace, holding her shotgun tightly in her hands.
Clearly, Alaska had taken interest in how crime used to be before the apocalypse. Killing used to be something that was unthinkable— Alaska doesn't know if she could ever kill someone without even an ounce of hesitance or remorse. It's one thing to survive, but it's another thing to feed so deeply into the bloodlust.
Tommy, of course, found out about Alaska's peculiar interest and told her about each famous serial killer that he could remember. He even found books and articles about the psychology of a serial killer— about how and why they become that way. Alaska wonders how many people out there really think like that.
Ellie doesn't answer, not even surprised or affected by Alaska's sudden rambling about serial killers. As she reaches the bottom of the stairs, Ellie stops in front of another closed door.
Alaska glances up at Ellie and gives her a look, "Go ahead." She states with persistence.
Ellie rolls her eyes, turning the door knob before being met with an unpredictable sight.
"Holy shit." Alaska mumbles, stepping in front of Ellie when she realizes that there, in fact, weren't any dead bodies hidden in the underground room. "It's weed," she chuckles in disbelief.
Ellie stands closely behind, observing the room with confusion. "Dead weed." She corrects, glancing up and down the four walls, finding contraptions that Eugene had invented over the years.
Alaska has a comically large grin on her face, "Maria would lose her absolute shit if she saw this place." She almost laughs, simply imagining the things Maria would say if Alaska told her about this room.
Alaska turns the corner, inspecting one of the tables, and finds a glass jar filled with rolled blunts. She instantly thinks of Dina, who might appreciated one or two of them. "Dude, we just hit the jackpot." She turns towards Ellie, holding the jar up to show her.
Ellie turns her head away from whatever she'd been looking at, shifting her attention to the jar in Alaska's hands. Ellie takes the jar from Alaska's hands, to which Alaska gives her a look of disbelief. Ellie doesn't mind the look on Alaska's face, and instead, she inspected the jar herself.
"You think it's still good?" Ellie asks with narrowed eyes, never steering them away from the jar.
Alaska shrugs, "D'know, but I'd love to find out." She says with a knowing look on her face.
Ellie tries opening the jar, but evidently struggles in doing so. No matter which way she twists and turns the lid, it won't budge. Alaska snickers under her breath while Ellie merely looks up at her with a seriously annoyed expression, suggesting that she doesn't appreciate Alaska's failure at containing her laughter.
"Jesus Christ, just give it." Alaska groans, snatching the jar from Ellie's hands, just as Ellie had done mere moments ago.
Ellie scoffs, "Oh, yeah, like you can—" she begins, ready to insult Alaska in some way.
But before Ellie could mutter up another word, Alaska takes the jar and smashes it on the floor, crushing the jar into small pieces. "Problem solved." Alaska mutters, pointing down at the broken glass with a proud grin.
Ellie stays in her place and merely blinks, shocked by Alaska's sudden action. "What the fuck is wrong with you." she mutters.
Alaska exaggeratedly shrugs her shoulders, "What? I got it open, didn't I?" She says as she kneels down to pick one up from the ground. She inspects it for a short moment and concludes that it must still be good. "Might as well." She says as she lifts herself up and pulls out a lighter from the pocket of her jacket.
Alaska plops herself on the empty couch, letting the smoke escape slowly from her lips after inhaling. Ellie reluctantly places herself on the couch, subconsciously sitting as far from Alaska as possible, as if she were afraid to get too close. Alaska notices it, as she does with everything, but she doesn't say a word. Instead, she passes the blunt and stares at the ceiling.
They stay that way for a moment. It reminds Alaska of the times when she and Ellie had sat in silence, soaking it up like it was their favorite song. The silence no longer makes Alaska want to crawl out of her skin, because the silence isn't forced. It isn't in avoidance. It isn't just Alaska trying to get Ellie to talk to her and failing miserably. It's a mutual, comfortable silence.
The quiet allows Alaska to think about her life's recent events once again. It makes her mind wander, as she always does. Only, now, there is nothing that could stop her from wondering out loud.
"Can I ask you something?" Alaska blurts out, turning her gaze away from the ceiling and facing Ellie.
Ellie contemplates for a short moment. But then, she nods her head.
"Why'd you jump in when Seth was being an ass?" She asks, taking the blunt when Ellie passed it.
Ellie's expression transforms. Alaska can't recognize it. She still doesn't know what was going on inside Ellie's head and it frustrates her completely.
"I d'know." Ellie shrugs her shoulders, scratching the back of her neck and looking down at her shoes.
Alaska shifts her head back up towards the ceiling, silently accepting defeat, knowing that her hopes had been entirely useless. She was dumb for even thinking that Ellie would ever speak to her in anything other than one sentence at a time.
"I guess..." Ellie begins hesitantly, letting out a heavy breath. "I just wanted to keep my promise." She almost whispers, perhaps feeling careful— or embarrassed.
Alaska instantly looks at her, noticing that Ellie's eyes had already been on her. She can't help but smile to herself at the memory.
Alaska had been sitting on the hospital bed. Bandages covered her body in various places. She'd been in there for several weeks. Ellie had been sitting on a wooden chair that she'd placed beside the bed, just as she'd done every day since Alaska's arrival. Alaska doesn't remember their initial conversation, but it had shifted to them sharing their biggest fears. Ellie had gone first. Her biggest fear was ending up alone. Then Alaska had gone. Her biggest fear was becoming someone she couldn't recognize. There, Ellie stuck out her pinky finger, and so did Alaska, then they swore to always protect each other.
They were fifteen back then. Alaska never doubted that promise. She never second-guessed or wondered about it, even after she and Ellie stopped being friends. But she didn't think that promise would still stand. She hadn't thought that, to some extent, Ellie still truly cared. She didn't think that Ellie would carry that promise with her, despite becoming a stranger.
Nobody really knows what Seth would've done if there had been no one to stop him. And, knowing how people like him are, Alaska can only assume the worst. But Ellie had still been willing to place herself in front of Alaska, willing to take the risk, just to keep that same promise that they had made as young teenagers.
"That doesn't mean I forgive you." Ellie adds, quick to build her guard back up.
Alaska looks down at her hands, "I know," she says, no louder than a whisper, letting the constant guilt stab her in the chest.
There silence returns once more. Alaska can't tell which kind but she doesn't like it this time around.
"But..." Ellie begins again. Alaska can see her fidgeting with her fingers. "I'd like to try." Ellie says with a slight shrug and a certain look in her eyes that Alaska had once known like the back of her hand.
Alaska faces her again with a peculiar feeling beginning to form in her stomach. It isn't a bad feeling, but it's something that she hasn't felt before. It scares her to death, but at the same time, it gives her a newfound sense of hope. Hope that her Ellie is still in there somewhere, tucked away, almost ready to come back.
Alaska nods her head in response, a short smile appearing at the corners of her lips as a heavy weight lifts off her shoulders. Finally, after two years of this constant war with Ellie, and ultimately, within herself, it would begin to slowly deteriorate. Alaska has learned to be patient. She would wait forever if there was even a chance that Ellie would speak to her again.
Hours have passed. How many?— Alaska has not a single clue. Alaska and Ellie stay inside of Eugene's hiding spot as they wait out the snow storm. Whether they sit on that old couch, or whether they get up and look around at the place, they simply wait. The two don't talk much, as had been expected. But truthfully, Alaska can't find any words. She's happy enough just knowing that the hatred and hurt in Ellie's heart is beginning to fade. She doesn't want to push it.
Alaska stands from the couch and sits of the floor, grabbing her Walkman from her backpack and digging for the old cassette tape she had found earlier. She figures that she might as well find out if it works or not. She silently hopes that it does— she feels lucky today.
She pulls out the cassette tape that had already been placed inside. It was one that Maria and Tommy had given her for her birthday last year. Tommy found it on one of his patrols and Maria insisted on it being the perfect gift. It ended up being a mixtape full of songs from the 80's. Tommy had been so proud of himself for ever getting his hands on it and Maria had stuck a beige piece of tape with the words, Happy 19th! Love, Maria & Tommy.
Alaska put the cassette into her backpack, getting a hold of the one she'd found earlier today and placing it in her Walkman. The chances of the audio actually working aren't exactly high, seeing how old and possibly deteriorated the tape is, but Alaska is willing to try nonetheless.
Instantly, she places her headphones over her head and clicks the play button. "Yes!" she whispers to herself when she hears the music. The audio isn't particularly crisp and clear, but Alaska can still make out the song and the lyrics that play. She's never heard it before but she already likes the way it sounds.
It isn't uncommon for Alaska to like a song— she's the kind of girl that likes all kinds of music, across all kinds of genres. And, given the world they live in, being picky about music isn't really an option. She's lucky enough to have access to it at all.
Alaska lets the music flood her ears, not minding the fact that Ellie stands by one of the tables in front of her, reloading her gun simply to pass the time. She almost hadn't noticed Jesse barge into the underground room in a panicked and frantic state.
Alaska quickly pauses the music and pushes the headphones away from her ears at the sight of Jesse's worry. Ellie takes her eyes off of her gun, sharing the same perplexed look.
"Are you kidding me?" Jesse speaks with frustration. "You're supposed to be on patrol." He says, switching his gaze between the two girls.
"Yeah, but there's a damn storm outside." Alaska is quick to defend herself.
"Is that weed?" Jesse asks, ignoring her comment. But before Alaska could answer, he speaks again, "People are counting on you, Al. What we do matters." He adds, sounding exactly like the hard-headed leader, and the brother figure, that he is.
"Then, why aren't you at the lookout?" Alaska continues with a hint of annoyance.
"Because Tommy and Joel didn't show up!" Jesse yells with stress flowing through his words.
"What do you mean?" Ellie immediately jumps into the conversation, her expression changing in an instant.
"We waited for them for an hour. I was looking for their horses when I saw lights." Jesse explains in a fast pace.
"Maybe they just went back to town." Alaska suggests, turning to face Ellie so she wouldn't assume the worst.
"Without being replaced? No way," Ellie is quick to disprove. She turns her attention to Jesse, "How much of their region have you covered?" she asks, rushingly grabbing her backpack.
"Not much," Jesse replies.
"Then, we split up. Go at it from different sides. We can cover the whole thing in a few hours." Ellie speaks quickly, grabbing her gun off the table.
Jesse shakes his head, "I don't like you running solo. We don't know what's out there."
"Exactly. What if they need help." Ellie says, quickening her pace to escape the building.
Alaska quickly pulls her headphones away from their resting place on her neck and stuffs her Walkman into her backpack. She prepares herself for whatever they might run into while looking for Tommy and Joel. She hopes that they're just off having some stupid conversation about coffee or whatever old men talk about these days.
"Okay, I'll head west. Dina can take south. You two can come from the east. But be smart about it, yeah?" Jesse instructs carefully, coming up with whatever option would be the best and safest.
"Yeah," Ellie mutters, rushing past Alaska without even blinking, leading her and Jesse out of the building.
Alaska lets out a long breath and closes her eyes for a short moment. Perhaps today had seemed too good to be true. Perhaps everything would fall apart within the blink of an eye and slip through her fingers.
She can't help but keep her hopes up. She needs to. Alaska doesn't know if she could ever live without the small ounces of hope she still carries with her all of the time. She doesn't really know who she would be without the hope that still finds its place in her heart. So she just hopes that, in the end, Tommy and Joel are okay.
3142 words.
alaska was actually listening to linger by the cranberries (canon!! not clickbait!!)
idc if u think they're making up too fast, TECHNICALLY this isn't an enemies to lovers book so don't come for me AND ellie talked to joel the night prior so it would be unfair for her not to talk to alaska too. clearly, ellie has thought about this for a while and has decided to forgive both of them (shit's gonna go down...)
it's cute how they talk to each other so comfortably even tho they stopped being friends, i think it shows how strong their 'friendship' was at one point.
alaska being scared of serial killers as if she hasn't killed zombies her whole life is so silly of her. but to be fair, the idea of a serial killer is scary bc it's not a 'monster' or a 'zombie', it's a person u walk past and talk to in ur everyday life. and, if u really think abt it, serial killers remind alaska of her mother, so there's that. alaska has a different understanding of how the world was pre-apocalypse so she probably thinks serial killers are like ten times scarier than they actually are.
^^ that was me defending alaska with my life because she does absolutely no wrong she's my baby