What the hell do they want now?
Part of me wants to ignore the summons. What more could they possibly want from me? They already took my job, my girlfriend, and the boy that was practically my child. What else is there? My very life? No, thank you. I'm going to be taking that on my time, on my terms. But the other part of me knows that if I do actually ignore the summons, I'll be in far deeper shit than I already am. No one ignores the wishes of the Cardinals and gets away with it. If I don't go to see them, there will be hell to pay.
That thought spurs me down the streets as I make my way to the Council. Whatever they want this time, they won't get it. I'll go to see them, sure, but if they want to take anything else from me, I'll fight. The only thing I have left to my name is my life and Death, and they won't take either of those things from me.
I take a deep breath as I enter Asmodeus's district. My anger is misplaced. I mustn't be mad at the Cardinals, not when they've done so much for me. They rescued me from the Outside, allowed me to start my apprenticeship early, and let me move back into the apartment I shared with my sister. They've made my whole life possible. If I'm to be mad at anyone, it should be me. I made the decision to save Zeke's life. I made the decision that shattered everything.
But yet, realizing that fact doesn't take the anger away. Just because the rational side of me knows it's my fault, the emotional side of me wants to lash out. I had my time lashing out at myself after everything happened with Skye, and I made a promise to myself I wouldn't punish myself for anything ever again. I guess my amygdala remembers that promise and has rerouted my anger toward the Cardinals.
And maybe it's not just the anger I'm feeling. It's betrayal. How could they have taken everything away from me when I've given so much to them? I gave them the information they wanted. I healed good Citizens and brought new life into the City. I gave them my whole life. How could they just rip it away from me like that? I sigh, knowing the answer. The Cardinals just have the City's best interest in mind and their decisions don't always make sense right away. But in time, the reason for their decisions always becomes clear. Hindsight is a beautiful and fickle thing.
By the time I come back to reality, I notice I've made it to Beelzebub's district. I just have to skirt along the border and I'll have a straight shot to the Council. This is my first time in Beelzebub's district, and I'm ready to leave. Even though I'm on the opposite end of the district, I can still see shadows of Salvia Street. The colors are bright enough that I can see the faintest glimmer from where they shine next to the wall. In the still air, I can hear the softest echo of the music coming from the studio in the middle of the district, and if I listen hard enough, I think I can hear the chaotic music coming from Salvia Street.
The border of Lucifer's district can't come soon enough. Relief fills me as I see the dark line on the concrete, Lucifer's name printed in blocky white letters every few feet to tell Citizens which district they've entered. Only another twenty or so minutes, and I can face my doom. It won't be too much longer until I find out what the Cardinals want with me this time.
Those twenty minutes go by too quickly for my liking, and before I can even process what has happened, I'm standing on the steps of the Council. Last time I was here, I lost everything. What's going to happen this time? With a deep breath, I harden my face and hold my head high. They aren't going to see me weak. When they see me, all they're going to see is a strong young woman who's taken their decision in stride. Even if I have to fake it to make it.
I walk in the door with my back held straight. When I came here last time, I was tired after an eternity in the hospital. They probably saw that weakness and used it to make their decision easier. They won't get that from me this time. I walk up to the door and wait. They'll call me when they're good and ready and not a second before.
"Enter." Well, this is it. I open the door and stride in, watching all seven Cardinals as they watch me. Jezebel's mouth quirks up in a smirk as I approach, but I give her no heed. I have no connections to her district, so why should I let her get inside my head? And I know that's what Jezebel wants. She treats it like a game, getting inside Citizen's heads and twisting their will to fit hers. Jezebel is the only Cardinal I'd give a wide berth to and the only one that makes me feel a slight glimmer of fear. But I won't let her know that. I have a feeling that's exactly what she wants.
"Hello, Macy," Belial greets me, and I glare at him.
"It's Dr. Macy," I spit out, and I turn when I hear Jezebel laughing.
"No, it's not. Not anymore. I thought we covered that the last time you were here," she tells me, and I bite my inner cheek to keep from saying something I'll regret. It doesn't work.
"So why am I here this time? Haven't you taken enough from me? What else do you want? My life?" I ask, and Asmodeus stands from his seat.
"How dare you talk to us in such a way? Who are you to question your Cardinals?" he questions, and Lucifer puts a hand up.
"Give the girl some grace, Asmodeus. She did get quite a shock when she was last here. She's bound to be emotional," Lucifer tells him. While I can see by his body language that he doesn't like it, Asmodeus does sit back down, posing himself as if he didn't just lash out. But that's typical for him. Quick to anger and quick to cool. It's one of his defining features.
"So why am I here? What am I losing this time?" I ask.
"You're not losing anything. In fact, we'd like to give you something," Lucifer answers, and I raise an eyebrow. They're... giving me something? But what could they possibly want to give me? "We're giving you a chance."
"A chance?" I repeat. "A chance for what?"
"A chance to get your life back," Satanus clarifies, and my confusion grows. How could I do that? Once a Citizen loses their job, they don't get it back. That was an unwritten rule in the City. What would possibly make them want to make an exception for me? "You do something for us, and we'll give you back your position as a Doctor."
"What do you need me to do?" I ask. Whatever they want, I'll do it. I have to. I have to get my job back. Maybe, if I'm a Doctor again and not at risk of becoming an Invalid, I can even get Cassie and Eliot back. Now, that being said, I'm sure that whatever task they have in mind for me will not be easy. It'll probably be harder than anything I've ever done. Probably even harder than saving an Invalid's life after he took a swan dive off of a fourth-story balcony. But if it gets me my life back, it'll be not only the hardest thing I've ever done but also the most important.
"You're aware of our little problem in the Outside," Lucifer starts, and I nod. I know exactly what he's talking about. It's a problem that has haunted me since I was a little kid. "We'd like you to help us with that problem."
"I don't understand," I say. How can I help them?
"We want you to help us end the Renegades," Lucifer says, and I shift uncomfortably. I've avoided saying that word ever since I was brought back into the City. I didn't want to speak the name of the people that had ruined my life and taken away the one thing I loved more than anything else. The name of the people that the Cardinals had to rescue me from.
No one knows when the Renegades formed, when the first group of Citizens exited the City's walls and made their own society. Most of the information on them inside the City is based on rumors and myths. All we know for sure is that the Renegades are a rebel group that makes their life in the Outside. A lawless life without rules, even worse than life on Salvia Street. They renounce the rules and way of life in the City and defy the Cardinals' every move.
They've been known to enter the City every now and again under the cover of night. Every time they do, something is vandalized and at least one Citizen disappears. What the Renegades do with the Citizens they take, no one knows. They are never seen again- except for one. Me. As far as I'm aware, I'm the only person who has ever come back from the Outside, and that's only because the Cardinals came to rescue me. They were the ones that destroyed the graveyard. And they were the ones that kidnapped me and were responsible for Skye's disappearance.
I've never known why they took Skye. What was it about Skye that made her so interesting to the Renegades? What did she do that caught their attention? If I could only remember the night they took us, I'd know what happened and why. My guess is that they took Skye because she was an important Citizen, and they took me so that I couldn't tell the Cardinals what happened. They didn't have to worry about that. By the time the Cardinals summoned me that first time after my rescue, my brain had locked the memory of that night away.
"End the Renegades?" I questioned, and the Cardinals nodded in unison. "How do you plan on me doing that?"
"We've tried getting to them from the outside, but that hasn't worked yet. We want you to help us destroy them from the inside," Lucifer clarifies.
"But why? Why haven't you been able to finish the Renegades yourselves?" I wonder, and Lucifer sighs.
"We're not sure. We've tried to get to them, of course, but something is protecting them from us. Some sort of invisible force that doesn't let us get near. We're unsure what's causing it, what they have that keeps us at bay. There are only select times when we can get near to their camp, but in those times, we're usually unable to stay long before we're forced out. In fact, there's only one Renegade we're able to bring back into the city," Lucifer explains.
"I thought no one ever came back into the City? Other than me, of course."
"Have you heard of the Outsider?" Beelzebub asks.
"I've heard the term, but I'm not sure what it means," I answer.
"The Outsider is a particularly interesting Renegade. He was born outside of the City. He and his mother made their way here when he was only a few years old. She died a year later. He left the City when he was 18, but he occasionally allows himself to be brought back. But before he can answer any of our questions, he disappears again," Beelzebub explains.
"So... he's a spy?" I wonder.
"It's possible. But it doesn't seem like that. He doesn't seem to care about anything. When he's in the City, he walks around like he's the dead come alive. It's strange. We keep him in Salvia Street when we bring him back, which is why you don't know much about him," Lucifer tells me, and I think for a moment.
"What's his name?"
"Israel." I breathe a sigh of relief at Lucifer's answer. Not the name that has been haunting me. I haven't heard the name Israel before. If he was there during my time in the Outside, he didn't make much of an impression. "Infiltrating the Renegades and learning their secret is not the only thing we need you to do. There's another condition that must be met before you'll get your job back."
"What else is there?" I wonder, my heart dropping in my stomach. I have a feeling I know what they want me to do. I don't want to do it. I don't want to face him or even hear his name.
"We need you to deliver their leader, Atlas, to us. Then, and only then, will our deal be complete," Lucifer tells me. My blood runs cold when he says that name. Atlas. The last time I saw him, he was young, around Skye's age when she disappeared. I remember him being tall and lanky with dark hair and eyes. In the first week after my kidnapping, he would come into my tent and try to comfort me. He would stroke my hair and hold me as I cried, trying to convince me that everything was going to be okay. And when the Cardinals came to rescue me, he was the one who held me back and kept me from running to them.
"You remember him," Jezebel states.
"Of course I do. How could I not?" I wonder if he remembers me. Will he see me and remember the little six-year-old he kidnapped? In my head, I start to chastise myself. Of course he'll recognize me. Maybe not for me- but he'll know me when he sees me. I look too much like Skye for him not to realize he's looking at her little sister. I wonder what he'll do when he sees me.
"So, do we have a deal? You'll infiltrate the Renegades, learn their secret, and bring Atlas to us. In return, we will restore your title of Doctor," Lucifer says, and I nod quickly. I don't need time to think. I can get revenge on the Renegades, get back my life, and maybe in the process, I can find out what happened to Skye. Though his face is covered by his mask, I can swear I see Lucifer smiling. "Very well. Go home and pack anything you might need. Water and food wouldn't be amiss. It'll take you several days to get to their camp. You leave tonight."
"Tonight? That's quick, isn't it?"
"Do you have anything else to do?" Asmodeus asks, and I scoff just slightly. He's right, of course. Doesn't mean I like hearing it.
"True enough. I'll pack what I need. I think I remember the way to their camp. North, I think. I vaguely remember something about north, or 'true north,' or something like that. I'll need a compass," I tell them, and Lucifer nods.
"We'll have a compass and some supplies delivered to your apartment. You'll leave at midnight so no one will see you. There's a hidden door in the wall behind the Council. I'll let you out. Don't be late," Lucifer instructs, and I nod. He waves toward the door, and I take that as a sign that I'm excused. I walk out of the Council with my head held high and a real smile on my face. Turns out I don't have to complete my Death to restore glory to my name. When I deliver Atlas to the Cardinals and help take down the Renegades, everyone in the City will know my name. I'll be a legend. And not only that, but I can finally be at peace when I find out what happened to Skye.
On my way home, I plan what to do for the next few hours. First things first, take a nap. I want to get some good distance away from the City before I take a break. I don't remember much about the weather in the Outside, except that it was much warmer than in the City. On the one hand, I'd want to travel at night when it's cooler. On the other hand, I want to be able to see my way around in an unknown world. But maybe there's a way I can do both.
Then I'll have to start packing. I won't need much. Just a few changes of clothes and my hairbrush and a few hairbands. Nothing fancy. Lucifer said that he'd have supplies delivered, so I assume my food and water will be taken care of. But, as I finally reach my apartment, I remember that a nap is first on the list. I'll take care of everything else after.
**************
I leave my apartment a half-hour before midnight. The lampposts are barely lit, casting unnerving shadows along the street. But I suppose that's the point. If other Citizens saw me leaving the City, there might be some questions, and questions aren't what anyone wants right now. This mission will take a decent amount of stealth, both to leave the City undetected and to keep my true intentions hidden once I reach the Renegade's camp.
There's no one out on the streets during my walk, so that makes the first part a lot easier. But then again, it's nearly midnight, and the only Citizens awake are the night shift Messengers and MAs. Maybe some of the Invalids and the Musicians struck with late-night inspiration. All that makes for an easy exit from the City with no prying eyes and questions.
I make it to the Council in record time and immediately travel behind it. There are only about five minutes between the Council and the wall, but I trim that down to three. Lucifer said not to be late, and I know better than to disobey him. I come up to the wall, looking up at it stretching into the clouds. It's only when I hear footsteps beside me that I become aware of my surroundings.
"Right on time," Lucifer says as he comes to stand next to me.
"You said not to be late, so here I am," I respond.
"I suppose punctuality is becoming of a Doctor." I nod as Lucifer comes to stand by the wall, pressing three sections of it quickly. Before I can ask, a section of the wall slides forward and to the left, and on the other side is the Outside. I haven't seen the Outside in fifteen years. I wonder how much has changed. Lucifer wishes me good luck, and I nod and take in a breath. With that, I grip my backpack tighter and step through the hole in the wall.
Into the Outside.
I take a few steps before pulling out the compass I was given. I adjust my position to head north and begin to walk. It only takes a few minutes before my surroundings begin to become brighter, and I look up to see the sky is no longer obscured by clouds. For a second, I have to stop and take it all in. I haven't seen the stars since I was six. I forgot how beautiful they are. Small, natural points of light in the sky that, if understood right, can lead your way in the dead of night.
The moon is full tonight, casting her silver gaze onto everything she touches. It'll be easy to find my way in this light with my compass. Even so, I have to stop every few minutes and take in all the surroundings I had forgotten about. All the sights and smells and textures I never thought I'd see again- the dirt, the rocks, the grass, the trees, and all the other plants. But before long, I realize I have to keep moving. I have a job to complete, and I won't get that done standing around looking at plants.
Atlas, I'm coming for you. And when I find you, you are going to tell me what you did to Skye.