・❥・
When Sawyer releases me from our passionate kiss, I know that now is the time for me to tell him the words I have been wanting to say for a long time now.
"I love you."
He meets my eyes, a smile growing on his face. "You do?"
"I do." I lean up to give him another kiss. "At first, everything was built off the person I knew when we were kids, but the more I got to know right now Sawyer, the easier it was to fall. And it started off slow at the start, then all at once, I just knew that I loved you."
He pulls me into him, pressing kisses all over my face. "Say it again."
I laugh. "I just said it like twice already."
"Twice isn't enough. Again, please."
"I love you."
"One more time."
I roll my eyes. "You're insufferable."
"No, I'm in love."
"Great, and now you're corny."
"But you love me anyway?"
I sigh. "Unfortunately, yes."
He frowns. "You're mean."
"No, I'm in love."
His frown morphs back in to a smile. "I love you so much," he gives my lips a quick kiss, "you're my favorite person."
Before I can respond to his proclamation, we hear voices coming from inside the house. We pick up on what they're saying and realize that they are counting down to the new year.
Twenty
"Do you wanna stay out here or go back inside?" Sawyer asks me.
"Stay out here."
Fifteen.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I just want it to be the two of us sharing this moment."
Ten.
He pulls me into his arms, and we just stand there looking into each other's eyes, waiting for the new year.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
"Happy New Year," we both whisper before sharing our first new year's kiss together.
❦
"God, I can't believe how long it took us to get out of there," Sawyer says once we get into the Uber.
"I know right," I say with a little laugh. "Logan just didn't want to let go of you."
After Sawyer and I shared our kiss, we both decided that we wanted to go home, so we went inside and said bye to all of our friends. Or, at least we tried to.
"Logan wouldn't let me out of that fucking chokehold no matter what I did," he chuckles. "And that is the exact reason why I told him not to drink, but did he listen? No, because he never does."
"Logan is just a free spirit, he can't be tied down."
"No, he's a fucking nincompoop, thats what he is."
I giggle. "Nincompoop? Really?"
"I think I read it in one of the books you recommended. I'm not exactly sure I know what it means, but it sounded stupid and Logan's stupid, so I figured it would make sense."
"It means a stupid person actually, so you were spot on."
He smiles. "Nice."
The rest of the car ride is filled with random banter about random shit, which is usually how it goes when Sawyer and I are together. I say something dumb, he says something that makes me laugh and it continues on from there.
It's one of the things I love about the two of us.
When we arrive at Sawyer's house, he pays the driver, helps me out of the car and then leads us inside.
"So, when is your family getting back?" I ask as we make our way to Sawyer's room.
"Oh, uh, they're not coming home tonight. We usually spend the night at my grandma's house on New Year's, so I'm pretty sure they'll do the same this year."
My stomach does a little flip when he says that we're gonna be here all alone. Ever since that little moment in my room, I've been craving for some more intimacy with Sawyer, but every time I try to work up the courage to initiate something, I turn into a little chicken shit and back out. He hasn't tried to initiate something either so I honestly don't know what's going to happen tonight.
"So... it's just gonna be the two of us here?"
"Uh, yeah. Is that okay?" He scratches the back of his neck nervously without meeting my eye.
"No, yeah, that's perfectly fine. Are you okay with me being here with you while we're alone? I don't want you to be uncomfortable or anything."
His eyes lift to meet mine. "I'm not uncomfortable, I just don't want you to be uncomfortable."
"I'm not uncomfortable."
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Perhaps 'okay' will be our 'always'."
I throw my head back in laughter and my nervousness immediately eases. "Did you just quote The Fault In Our Stars?"
He blushes. "Maybe."
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to kiss me. "I love you."
"I love you."
"Perhaps 'I love you' will be our 'always'—"
Sawyer lets out a deep belly laugh.
"Why are you trying to steal my line?"
"Technically it's not your line, it's Augustus Waters' line, may he rest in peace."
We both bless ourselves at the same time, resulting in another laugh attack.
When our laughter finally starts to settle down, Sawyer speaks, "Enough about The Fault In Our Stars, because I know soon enough you'll think of a certain part and it'll make you sad and then you'll start to cry and I don't like when you cry. Today is too much of a happy day to cry."
"You're right, you're right. So then, what should we do?"
"We can change into some comfier clothes and then maybe watch a movie?"
"That's good with me."
"Cool."
I smirk. "Cool."
He narrows his eyes at me. "Put that damn smirk away, I'm not playing this game with you again."
"Party pooper." I stick my tongue out at him.
❦
"Baby?"
"Yes?"
"I'm bored."
I look up at Sawyer with a frown from my place on his chest. "You don't like the movie?"
He hesitates. "I wouldn't say I don't like it, it's just boring," he finishes with a shrug.
"It's not boring, it's just a little slow right now. You just have to keep watching."
"Can they just get together already? It's obvious they like each other."
I shake my head at him. "As a fellow romance reader, you should know this by now, Sawyer. It's obvious to everyone else that they like each other, but they have to be the ones to realize it for themselves. Harry and Sally just haven't realized it yet," I explain to him, even though he should know all of this already.
"Well, Harry and Sally need to hurry the hell up."
I roll my eyes. "Let's just watch the movie, love." I lean up to give him a slow kiss to hold him down for a little longer, but when I try to pull away, he plants his hands on my face and deepens the kiss.
"Sawyer, what are you doing?" I ask a little breathless when he moves on top of me and switches onto my neck.
"I'm unboring myself."
"I-I-uh I don't think that's a word."
"Sure it is. You wanna look it up?"
He pulls down my—his—shirt and moves to my collarbones, licking and sucking the same way he did that one day in my bedroom.
"No, um, I'm okay." I don't want him to stop.
"You sure?" He finds my nipple over my shirt and sucks, making the peak harder with the attention he's giving it.
"Sawyerr," I drag out his name. "Please don't stop."
"Didn't plan on it." He moves onto the other nipple, giving it the same attention. He alternates between them, pinching, licking, sucking, until I'm a groaning mess asking him for more.
"Please," I moan.
He looks up and smirks at my flushed face. "Please what? Hmm?"
"Please touch me, anywhere, everywhere. I don't care, just do it."
His bravado falters and a little bit of nervousness becomes apparent in his demeanor. He stops his kisses, leaning up to rest his forearms by my head and meet my eyes.
"I've never done this before," he admits, even though he's told me before.
"I know, but we'll walk each other through it, okay?"
He nods, gaining some of his confidence back. "Where should we start?"
"Maybe where we left off?"
"Right. You wanted me to touch you?"
I nod my head very enthusiastically. "Please."
He nods, blowing out a breath, and then leans down to kiss me. First my forehead, then my cheeks, then my nose, and finally my lips. As he's doing this, his hands are slowly descending down my body, running over my curves and the softness of my stomach until he gets to the place where I crave him the most.
He pauses his attack on my lips and looks at me, communicating with his eyes, asking me if it's okay for him to continue. I nod, leaning up to kiss him and give him the extra reassurance he needs to make sure I want this.
When he lifts up my shirt and sees that I'm only wearing panties, he groans, leaning his head down to rest it on mine.
"You drive me crazy."
His fingers skim over the thin cloth, tracing over the seams and lightly going over the place I ache the most. Right when I'm about to yell at him to stop teasing me, his fingers slip under the fabric, but they stay still.
"Okay, now tell me what to do. I want to make you feel good, but I'm not sure I'll know how."
I rest my hand against his and help guide him to the little bud that I know can make me feel good. When his calloused fingers scrape over my skin, I let out a little moan.
"Just keep rubbing right there," I instruct, "but do it in circles. It feels better that way."
He does as he's told, taking the instructions that I give him and actually using them to make me feel good. It feels nice knowing that he's in this for both of our pleasure, not just his own.
The buildup only intensifies when he adds a finger. At first, it's tentative as he slowly tries to work it inside of my center, but when he gets it in and starts pumping in and out, it starts to feel really good.
"You're so tight, baby. Is this how you're gonna feel around my cock?"
Woah. I don't know where that came from but I'm not complaining.
"Talk more," I moan, arching into his hand when he adds another finger and intensifies the feeling building up inside of me.
"You like that?" He chuckles. "You like when I use the words you highlight in all your books?" I whimper at the words.
He adds a third finger and starts pumping faster, harder, curling his fingers until he finds the spot that has my legs shaking.
"I-I'm close."
"Tell me what else you need."
"Rub my clit." He obeys, using his other hand to rub my clit in circles while the other pumps deeper, hitting my g-spot every time it enters.
Every time I've tried to touch myself the way he is right now, it never feels like this and I can never get myself to finish. I always get impatient because of how long it takes or my brain loses focus and starts to think about school or assignments or tests. But here, with Sawyer, all of my focus is on him and only him. My attention is always on him.
"Let go for me, baby. I know you're there."
My legs are shaking uncontrollably and I know I'm right there but now I'm scared. Why does it feel like I'm about to pee myself?
Oh god, what if I pee on Sawyer!?
"I-I can't do it."
"Yes you can." He starts to rub my clit faster, giving it a little pinch every few seconds.
"What if I pee?"
Sawyer chuckles. "You're not gonna pee. Don't think, just let go."
He flicks my clit, hits my g-spot and then I'm gone. I moan, coming all over Sawyer's fingers as he continues to slowly pump his fingers to help me ride out my orgasm.
When I've caught my breath and my legs have eased on the shaking, I finally open my eyes and look at Sawyer resting above me.
He's smirking at me.
"Watching you come on my fingers has to be the sexiest thing I've ever seen."
I blush, swatting him. "Shut up."
He laughs before rolling off of me to stand at my bedside. He holds his hand out. "C'mon, let me get you cleaned up."
I sit up faster than I think I ever have. "We're done?"
Eager much?
"Um, yes?"
I nod my head towards his dick. "But what about you?"
A heat rushes up his neck as he rearranges himself. "Oh, uh, I'm good."
I frown.
His eyes widen. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I meant, like, I don't need anything. Watching you is enough for me."
"But what if that wasn't enough for me? I want you. All of you."
"All of... oh, oh."
I smile. "Yeah, oh."
He grabs my face and kisses me fiercely, putting his all into the kiss. "You're gonna kill me."
I smirk. "You can die after you have sex with me. That way, you won't die a virgin."
He pokes my side making me squeal. "You think you're so clever, don't you?"
"I don't think, I know."
He rolls his eyes, pushing me back on the bed and towering over me. "That smart mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble one of these days."
I raise a brow. "And what are you gonna do about it? Spank me?"
"I could be down for that." My jaw drops and he smirks. "Now lie back and be a good girl for me, you're about to get what you asked for."
I do as I'm told and watch Sawyer strip for me. He starts with his shirt, pulling it over his head in that hot way guys do it. Then, the pants and the boxers come off. And holy shit why is his cock massive.
I stare at it in disbelief.
"If you don't close that mouth I'll fill it with my cock." My mouth shuts real fast.
That is for another day.
"Sawyer."
He hums.
"That is a monstrosity. There's no way it's gonna fit."
"You can take it."
Holy moly that was hot.
"I better. Now get up here before I chicken out."
Sawyer reaches into his night stand and grabs a condom before climbing on top of me and settling right between my legs.
"Why do you still have my shirt on?"
"Oh." I didn't even notice. But, now that I think about it, I don't know if I wanna take it off. Sawyer's body is pure muscle and mine is... not. Mine is soft and squishy while his is jacked.
"No, Sage." He's shaking his head. "Don't hide from me, not here when it's just the two of us. You're my favorite person, my favorite everything. I love everything about you; your heart, your mind and your body. You're perfect."
"Don't make me cry when we're about to have sex."
He bites back a smile, leaning down to kiss my nose. "Do I have your permission to take it off?"
I nod.
"Words, baby."
"Yes." The shirt slides off my body and now we're both naked, bare for each other.
"Everything about you is so beautiful."
This man is actually going to make me cry.
"If you don't stop, your girlfriend is going to be a sobbing mess when you're inside her for the first time."
He gives me one more kiss before sliding the condom on and fitting himself back between my legs. He holds himself up with one another and uses the other one to get me ready. He rubs my clit with his thumb while two of his fingers work inside of me. When I'm wet enough, he uses the juices on his fingers to lubricate his dick.
He settles back down on his forearms and settles his cock at my entrance. "You still wanna do this?"
"Yes."
He slowly starts to push in and let me just tell you: ow.
I gasp at all of the sensations I'm feeling. The pain and the fullness. My body starts to lock up when Sawyer starts to push a little bit further.
"Baby, you okay?" He asks, his voice strained.
I hum in response because if I try to talk I might cry.
"Open your eyes and relax for me." He starts to pepper kisses all over my face and the love I can feel through his touch helps me relax. "Do you want me to stop? If it hurts, we'll stop. Anything you want."
"Don't stop. I want this."
"You're sure?" When I give him a "yes" he leans down and kisses my lips. "You're doing so good, my love. I'm sorry that something that feels so good for me hurts you."
"It's okay, baby. Just keep moving, I promise I'm okay."
This is how it goes the rest of the time that Sawyer is pushing into me. He tells me how good I'm doing, reminds me to relax, tells me how beautiful I am and how good I feel.
His words don't make the pain go away, but they help ease it by taking my focus away from it. I pay more attention to his kind words instead of the fire between my thighs.
When Sawyer is completely inside of me, he's stiff as a board, his mouth open in a silent moan.
"You okay, baby? You wanna move?"
He shakes his head. "Not yet. Let me feel you for a second."
They way everything that comes out of his mouth makes me even wetter.
"You pulled that line out of one of my books, huh?" I tease to try and distract myself from the pain.
All the books that said the pain only lasted for a few seconds during their first time were liars.
"Yeah, I studied them pretty rigorously."
"Such a good boy." I lean up and kiss him and he starts to move.
"Holy shit, that turned me on." I laugh and he groans.
"Next thing you know, you're gonna be calling me mommy." We both laugh a this.
"Never that, babe. Not really into that sort of thing." I giggle and he groans away. "Don't laugh or else I'm gonna blow my load right now."
"That's the goal. Move, my love. I want to make you feel good."
He slowly starts to pump in and out, and even though and even though a little part of me feels good, I don't think the pleasure will be able to override the discomfort that I'm still feeling. But I honestly don't mind because Sawyer already made me feel really good and I want him to feel what I felt. As long as he finishes, that's all that matters to me.
His movements get faster and sloppier and I know he's close.
"I-I-I'm close."
"Come for me, baby. Show me how good I make you feel."
He whimpers. "You make me feel so good."
I grab his face, give him one good kiss and then whisper in his ear, "Show me."
He moans and it's the sexies thing I've ever heard. His body stops its movements and I can feel his dick twitching inside of me. I kiss him everywhere I can reach, trying to help him ride out the orgasm the same way he did for me.
When he stops shaking and can catch his breath, he slowly and as gently as possible pulls out of me before rolling over next to me.
"Did you finish?"
I give him a sheepish smile.
"Sage—"
"It's okay," I give him a peck. "A lot of girls don't finish their first time. Sometimes the pain is more prominent than the pleasure."
He frowns. "I'm sorry, I really wanted it to make you feel good too."
"You did. You gave me my first orgasm. If that isn't an accomplishment, I don't know what is." I give him a teasing smile.
"I don't know if I should be celebrating or feel bad for you."
"Sawyer," I laugh, "it's something to be proud of."
"Whatever, babe. We're gonna work on that, though. I'll buy you a vibrator."
I bring my hands up to my heart. "That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."
He rolls his eyes. "Shut up, smartass." He stands from the bed and comes over to my side, lifting me into his arms and carrying me into the bathroom.
"What are you doing?"
"Cleaning you up," he says in a duh tone.
He sets a towel on the counter before placing me on it. He grabs a small hand towel and runs it under some water before coming back towards me to stand in between my legs. He uses one hand to clean me up while the other runs up and down my thigh soothingly.
When he's done, he lifts me back into his arms and takes us to his closest. He picks out 2 pairs of boxers and one of his T-shirts. Then he sets me down and helps me dress, then slips his boxers on. Then he turns off the TV and helps us into bed.
We slip back into bed and snuggle up to each other. My downstairs area is sore, so my movements are kind of sluggish, but Sawyer is patient with me. Once we're in our usual sleeping position—my head on his chest, my thigh thrown over his and his arms wrapped around me—I'm ready to knock out.
Before I can say good night and tell him I love him, he says something that keeps us both laughing the rest of the night.
"Next time can I eat your pussy?"
Isn't he just so romantic?
Word Count: 3695
author's note:
UM HEY GUYS? So like I'm just gonna leave this chapter here because I'm not a big fan. I felt like it was more dialogue than sex LMAO but like Sage and Sawyer are always cracking jokes so I guess it's kinda fitting. Hope you guys liked the chapter tho :)
ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 75.4K READS THAT WAS CRAZY I LOVE ALL OF YOU DEARLY <333
Be sure to let me know your thoughts on the book and characters :)
I love you and I am proud of you. I hope that you have a beautiful day <3
drea <3