Silence once again fell over the halls of the palace. The dwarves, in the dungeon deep looked around for anything, that could help them. They heard Thorin's angry monologue, Thranduil's enraged shouts, Andy's screams. And after that went silent, they started to worry. As Thorin got thrown into a cell, the company was quickly on their feet, gazing out behind the bars.
"Did he offer you a deal?", Balin asked from the cell next to Thorin's.
"He did", he answered, and started to run up and down his cell. "I told him Ish kakhfê ai'd dur rugnu [I spit upon your grave]! Him and all his kin!" He yelled full of anger. But his anger wasn't towards the king and his stupid demand and insults. It was towards Andrea Baggins. It burned hot under his skin and the betrayal stung deeper than he ever thought it could.
"Well, that's it then", Balin said in defeat, not seeing the state his king was in. "A deal was our only hope out. "
"Uncle?", Fili's voice echoed through the dungeon. "Where's Andy?"
A pang went through Thorin's chest. He didn't answer. Her figure appeared before his eyes again. As Thranduil revealed the truth, he knew, the elf was right. But he didn't see it, it didn't feel real. And then Thranduil attacked. And Andy reacted. The Hobbit would have been to short and weak, to stop the blades from piercing through him. An elf on the other hand...
Seeing it, hurt so much more, than hearing it. It was real. He saw, her body shift into another. She lied straight to their faces. So many times. And recalling those moments, time after time in his head, made Thorin feel even worse. She lied to the company, she lied to Fili and Kili. She lied to him. He should have known. He should have listened to his gut feeling. Instead, he trusted her. He came to admire her. He-
"Where is she?", Kili asked, his voice trembling with worry. Hearing Kili's worry, made Thorin feel sick. How was he supposed to tell them?
"Don't worry, lads", Dwalin answered instead, trying to lift their spirit. "Andy is a tough Hobbit. She will drive the King into madness and come down, to get us all out of here. "
A bitter taste spread on Thorin's tongue, his anger resurfacing. He doubted that.
"Now that I have rid you of those Dwarves, you are a free Protector once more, not bound to a meaningless small group of dwarves", Thranduil spoke, sounding very self-pleased. Andy slowly looked up in disbelieve. He sat on his throne, his legs crossed, a smile on his lips. "So, since you have free time again, I would like you to help my son and my guards to rid the forest of those spiders. "
"No", Andy said, her brows narrowed. Thranduil blinked. "I'm still going with the dwarves. They need my help. "
"They don't want your help anymore", Thranduil held against that, leaning forward on his throne. "See, they don't value the work you do. They're dwarves, they will never comprehend the measure of your sacrifice. I however, have fought beside you in many battles. I see the work you do. I can give you the protection of the mortals who only see a threat in you. "
A bitter taste filled Andy's mouth and she pulled a grimace, as if she'd bitten into a lemon.
"I don't need protection", Andy spoke. "Thranduil, I protect. That's my job."
He didn't seem pleased with her disagreeing with him. "Mortals are not worth protecting. They die anyway. But the Immortals, have something to lose in battle. That is the only way we can die and you know that. "
"Yes, and that's why, I will protect you", Andy agreed on that point. "But I will not stay put in one place, to protect one race and leave the rest to die!" Her voice got louder, similar to Thorin's not long ago.
"Then you will perish with them!", Thranduil called out and jumped up from his Throne.
"So be it", Andy snapped back, shocking Thranduil. "I have been here for a long time, Thranduil. " Her voice grew tired. "If I die, protecting those who can't protect themselves, I'm fine with it. I've lived. Long. I would gladly give my live, if it meant Oropher could return. " Thranduil's expression turned cold. "I would give my life, if it meant Elrond gets one more day with his brother. If Gil-Galad could have helped repair the damage after the war. If Elendin would have lived, to knock some sense into his son, so he would not have been killed. For your queen, so your heart could again be filled with love. For Belladonna to stand up from her bed again and play catch with little Bilbo and bring him to the forest and play and laugh and dance." A tear ran down her cheek. She took a shaking breath. "But I can't. Because their gone. And it's my fault. So, I will do what I can, to repay this debt and keep those save, who live. So, they can be happy and thrive. So, if it costs me the horns on my head, the voice from my throat, the air from my lungs, the blood from my body, the beating of my heart! I am willing to pay. "
Thranduil stared at her, swallowing hard. Andy said everything she had to say and waited. He walked down the stairs not taking his eyes off her. He stood before her, only a few steps away.
"You don't have to do that, muin nín [My Dear]", he spoke, his voice almost soundless. "You don't have to chase the ghosts of your pass. Stay here and we'll fix it together. "
Sadness filled Andy, as she looked up at the lost king. Slowly she shook her head, standing her ground.
"Who will hold you company? Where will you go home to? Whom will you go to?", he asked her. "Your dwarven king?"
All colour drained from Andy's face. How did he know? No one knew. Not even Fili and Kili. Thranduil seemed to have read her mind, then a mocking grin appeared on his lips.
"Please, it couldn't be more obvious. From both of you, really." He looked at her, waiting for a reaction. Her eyes narrowed and she glared daggers at him. As she took a step forward, Legolas pulled an arrow and aimed it at her head. "But he knows now. You saw the hate and betrayal in his eyes. You know, he'll rather see you dead, than welcome you again. You don't have to go through that reject. Just stay. "
He could have punched her in the gut and it would have felt the same. It hurt. Because, though she knew he was right, her heart still longed to run to Thorin. Just how she had longed for so long, to run back to Thranduil. Decade over decade. And know, here she was. She looked into his eyes and felt nothing. She used to love the crystal-clear colour of his iris and could stare at then for hours. She missed the way he always had her back, when people talked bad about her, because she wasn't good at her job. How he conjured a smile on her face, when she felt like an outcast. How he distracted her from her worries and the trouble of the world.
He offered it to her. His hand was outstretched, waiting for her to take it. To stay. Forget about the outside world once more. He could have her back again, like he used to do. She could belong again.
Like in trance, Andy slowly lifted her bound hands reaching for his. Her fingers hovered over his. She could feel the warm they radiated. The security they promised.
She stopped.
How she wished she could accept.
She pulled her hand back making Thranduil open his mouth to say something but no sound left his lips. He looked, as if the floor was pulled away under his feet.
"You used to mean the world to me, your majesty. " Punch. "But I cannot accept. " Another Punch. "I refuse to be second, knowing, you can't feel the same anymore. " And another. "It's time to heal. For both of us. " She stepped back, making her point more than clear.
"Bring her away", Thranduil's voice cut through the heavy silence. "Lock her up. "
Two guards took post on each side of her grabbing her arm. Silent Andy was brought away. Andy halted in her steps, as they passed Legolas. He tensed and looked at her.
"I'm sorry for your loss", Andy said, surprising him. "Your mother was a wonderful Elleth. She will be watching over you from the halls of Mandos. " He gave her a short nod, showing his thank. Andy gave him a last sad smile, before they continued their way.
Down in the dungeons, she was pushed into a cell, the doors locked behind her. After the guards had gone, Andy sunk to the ground and started crying. Big ugly sobs broke out of her, as did the salty river of tears running over her face, getting mixed with dirt and sweat. She curled up, pressing her hands to her chest, trying to numb the pain she felt. Not only was she physically exhausted, but emotionally as well. She just let go of the one thing, that she had from her old life. There was nothing left anymore. And her new life crumbled apart when Thranduil spilled her secret.
Another wave of tears washed of her. She turned into a Hobbit, to be smaller and pulled her legs closer to her chest. And like that she cried for hours. All dams broke, the cards folded, her world collapsed. Sometime after, she fell into a restless sleep and awoke cold. As she tried to move, her joints groaned and her muscles burned. After dragging herself a few feet over to the wall, she dropped down again, too weak to hold herself up. Again, she drifted into sleep.
Days could have gone by, or only hours. Andy couldn't tell. She was so far down; no daylight was to be seen. All there was, was a single torch on the outside of her cell, giving dim light. Her bruisings slowly healed, since she hardly moved. Once she ate a bit of bread that a guard must had thrown through the bars. It was tasteless but helped her restore some energy. Then she rolled back into a ball and slept some more. The next time she was woken by someone calling her name. She thought she was able to identify Fili and Kilis voice.
"Fili?", she called, with a rasping voice. "Kili?" The calls didn't end. Andy stumbled to the door, her hands clutching to the bars to stop herself from falling again.
"Fili? Kili? Guys?", she called again, louder this time.
"Andy!", an echo resounded off the walls, making its way through the dark that surrounded her. It was Kili's voice.
"Kili", She shouted back, a relieved laugh leaving her lips.
Nothing came back.
"Boys?", Andy called. Nothing. Panic started to set in and Andy started slamming against the walls "Guys!", she called one last time. The loneliness kicked in, harder than before. They didn't hear her. No one would hear her. Her voice was too coarse, to call loudly enough. She was alone. She slid to the ground and pulled her legs to her chest. Gently she started to whip backwards and forwards. And so, time flew by.
"You know the bed feels warmer", she started to sing, mostly speaking the words without air.
"Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in colour
And do the things I do", Andy cleared her throat, lifting her head a little. Through the song her voice gained strength, and she started crying her emotions out. Singing always was her coping mechanism. And it helped. The pain eased and her tears dried.
"You heard that I was starting over with someone new
They told you I was moving on over you", she pictured Thranduil in her head and how he reached his hand out to her, trying to bring her to stay.
"You didn't think that I'd come back
I'd come back swinging
You tried to break me but you see" Her sad melody started to change and sound more confident. Her voice lifted a little, gently echoing through the darkness. Her voice kept growing louder, the song bringing her back to the Presence, breaking her out of her cave of sorrow she'd built around herself.
"Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinkin' 'bout me
You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning
In the end" She spread her arms and sung from the top of her lungs.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", she held the long tone letting it carry out the rest of her bottled-up emotions. A smile spread on her face and she started swirling around herself.
"What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone"
«Fili», Kili called his brother. He stood at the bars, like so often and called for Andy. He knew she was somewhere, but there was no answer so far. Fili in the cell next to him, hummed up, pulling around on a piece of cloth. "Can you hear that?"
Questionably Fili lifted his head and listened. With a gasp he jumped to his legs and ran to the bars. "I hear it", he said exited.
"What is it?", Bofur asked curiously. The voice got louder.
"What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter"
"It sounds like Andy!", Kili said exited. "She's here!"
"Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger"
"What is she singing?", Fili asked. He did not know the song. They were quiet, relaxed by hearing her sing. It meant; she was okay.
Getting to his feet Thorin also stepped to the bars, absently closing his hands around them. Somehow, hearing her sing was a relieve to him as well, though it shouldn't' be. He realised the meaning behind the lyrics and it made his face darken. It was a message. But he wasn't sure for who.
"She's fine", Kili grinned once more. "She'll come and get us out. " Thorin wondered, where his optimism came from.