A few days have passed, yet I still haven't answered Mason's and Ben's texts they sent. In my defense, I was busy these past few days: doing back to back fashion shows and attending acting classes because I'm planning on becoming a part of the acting community. Besides the business and back to the texts, it looked like Mason sent another message last night, but I was too scared to even open it.
I decided to open Ben's text first... it said, "I'm doing fine if ur wondering..." assuming because I told him I was worried back in the hotel room.
Then, I opened Mason's:
_______
mase
mase
the silent treatment is kinda crazy
nora, so i have a gut feeling i should
tell u this... now or never
mase
a little birdy told me that u didnt fucking
care / said it was unimportant abt how i
asked u the other day how u were bc of what
happened + how i said i loved u
mase
notice how i said "loved"
me
mason what r u talking abt
me
ofc i care
mase
now ur opening the text?? if u did
care u would reply right away, or
just THAT DAY
mase
i knew u were on ur phone too, i
saw ur stories w soph back in
madrid
me
stop im sorry...
me
i wanted to give u space
mase
well
mase
i think we should stay away from
each other for a bit, this whole
dating thing is kinda... idk how
to say it
me
overwhelming ?
me
bc ye i agree
mase
i hope we can still be friends until
we finally figure this out
mase
just giving space... like u said
me
yeah...
me
that would be nice
mase
ok tysm cya
_________
What just happened? Maybe I shouldn't have given him the space I thought he needed to make up with Chilly, not unless they made up right after the minor quarrel. Maybe the dating thing was overwhelming, but we just made it official to public like last week. Why does everything happen at such the wrong times possible? Did we even break up? It's so complicated.
Who the fuck cares anymore, it's like all over now... kinda just a memory. I feel empty on the inside, maybe it's just a break— but who even knows anymore?
I wanted to tell Sophia, but I don't wanna tell her I lied to her— what if she was the one who told him that I "didn't care"? It wouldn't be her fault since I was the one who lied, I fucked everything up.
Instead, I decided to tell my childhood friend Isla, we finally got in touch once again after the party. Glad I can tell her anything again.
________
isla
me
isla i NEED to tell u smt
isla
wsp babes-?
me
i fucked it up
me
i fucked my relationship
isla
WHATTT
me
dont tell anyone, also plz
can we call rn i suck at
typing
isla
ofc babes, ring me
_________
So yeah, I rang Isla.
"He said we should stay away from each other for a little bit," I told Isla, feeling a tear about to drop from my eye. "All because I decided to give him space when I thought he needed it... I gave him the silent treatment."
"Oh my god, girl..." she said in disappointment. "Why would you do that?"
I started to cry more, "I don't know! I fucked it up, I told you that!"
"He'll come back, I know it," she tried to comfort.
"No he won't," I denied, shaking my head. "He won't come back, he's going to hate me forever."
"What else did he say?"
I sobbed even more than I did a second ago. "He said, 'i told u how i loved you, notice how i said LOVED.' That really made me wanna shoot myself."
"Girl, I know he's the one for you..." she explained. "We're just young human beings, we make mistakes! He's going to realize this was all just a misunderstanding and there was some miscommunication between you two... he's a good guy."
"We've been together for like a month, and I feel like I'm a terrible girlfriend because of this..."
She sighed, "We learn from mistakes, we aren't supposed to mourn over them for centuries... don't let this mistake bring you down."
I wiped off my tears. "My mascara is running, holy shit."
She chuckled, "Just... wipe it off, it'll be okay!"
"That's not what I'm worried about," I explained. "He was my best friend, my best boyfriend in fact. Now he's someone..."
"I wish I could tell you what to do, but my mind is going blank," she mumbled. "Now, I gotta go— please update me."
I waved goodbye to her, then ended the call. The words Isla had said made me feel a little bit better about it. Maybe he will come back, who would know?
.
___
.
That was it. I confronted Nora about what I heard her say about my text, about how it was unimportant and irrelevant. I wanted to take a break for a bit, bur I don't know if she got the message that it's a break.
I loved her, no— I love her. There is no past tense in that word, I will always love her. I only said that to make her feel guilty... but that was probably irrelevant to her anyway.
I felt like I wanted to cry or something, but I gotta man up— I was the one who wanted to take a break. Besides, it was complicated anyway.
_______
masra 4 lifers 🤞
me
were taking a break...
chilly 🥶
so, yalls asses never made up??
me
she never texted me back until
i confronted her
chilly 🥶
u did the right thing
king kai
i agree, she rly didnt reply for a
few days, but theres gotta be a
reason behind it
me
she wanted to give me space
apparently, but yet she said
my text was unimportant???
captain america
shes a bitch
king kai
ngl i thought she would like puli
but ig not???
captain america
id reject her💀💀
chilly 🥶
mase how r u feeling
me
proud... sad... kinda mad...
chilly 🥶
wait a min
chilly 🥶 changed the chat name to "dead couple??"
me
bruv
king kai changed the chat name to "mases love life?"
king kai added reece
king kai
reece needs to know, im sry
king kai
hes friends w nora so
reece
so, what happened GIVE ME THE
DRAMA
me
me and nora basically r staying
away from each other for a lil bit
me
a break...
reece
break up?
king kai
no, he means break.
chilly 🥶
blud who else knows abt this
me
u guys thats it...
me
dont tell anyone pls
king kai
i wont tell anyone, not even soph
me
she prob knows, but js dont bring
it up— LIKE AT ALL
king kai
i wont dw
chilly 🥶
i wont either
captain america
ye same
me
thanks guys...
_____
After texting them about everything, I quite literally broke down because of how much I'll miss her snd the memories we made together— it won't be the same.
People thought she was the one for me, I guess not...I guess you can say I'm hopeless to ever find love now.