[ BEAUTIFUL CRIMES ]
chapter seventeen; in which the path is shrouded in darkness
❝ We both know there's a part of you that wants to stay. ❞
THE SILENCE IS SUFFOCATING.
Adelina's gaze is fixed on the passing scenery outside the window. Natasha can see the weight on Adelina's shoulders. She studies the girl from the corner of her eye, concern etching lines on her face. Natasha almost says something, almost reaches out a hand. But based on the the blankness in Adelina's eyes, she figures it would be better if she didn't.
As for Adelina, she feels... better, which is a relative term. The color has come back to her vision, and faces feel more familiar than before. She feels like she's back in her own body, which sounds absolutely mental, but it's true. She rests her head against the window, watching the world go by.
"Are you hungry?" Natasha's soft voice pulls her from her mind. Adelina says nothing as she looks to the redhead. She shakes her head before returning her gaze to the window. Natasha says nothing more. It's a delicate dance, knowing when to speak and when to stay silent. Almost as delicate as the ballet forced into both Adelina and Natasha's memories.
The marble is cracking.
The marble is cracking.
The marble is cracking.
Adelina rubs her eyes roughly, which garners a quick glance from Natasha.
The marble is breaking. The marble is breaking. The marble is breaking. The marble is breaking.
The marble is breaking. The marble is breaking.
Adelina shifts in her seat, and it feels like she'll never be comfortable again.
The marble is broken. The marble is broken.
The marble is broken. The marble is broken.
The marble is broken. The marble is broken.
The marble is broken. The marble is broken.
The marble is broken. The marble is broken.
"Stop the car," Adelina says lowly, the wave of nausea threatening to knock her over. "I think I'm gonna throw up."
Natasha obliges quickly, pulling over to the side of the road. The SUV is rolling to a stop when Adelina abruptly swings the door open, and Natasha's nose crinkles in disgust as Adelina's groans ring through the air. A moment later, Adelina sits up, holding her stomach with one hand while wiping her mouth with the other one. She releases a shaky, hesitant sigh as her eyes flit over to Natasha, "You can start driving again."
The Russian redhead waits for Adelina to close the door before driving off, the engine rumbling as it comes back to life. She tries to keep from staring at Adelina too much, knowing that the teenager would catch on quickly. "Are you okay?" Natasha questions in a low tone.
"Peachy keen." Adelina mumbles, her nails picking at the material of her pants.
"Does anything hurt?"
Natasha is greeted by silence.
"No." Adelina says quietly. You don't have to be an expert to see the Asian assassin trembling softly. "'m fine."
"Adelina."
"I said 'm fine." She stills her bouncing leg to the best of her ability. Natasha lets it go, there's no point in forcing Adelina's hand. She continues to drive, her concern only increasing as she glances at the dark-haired girl from the corner of her eye. Adelina picks at the skin of her cuticles, trying to still her trembling body. She tucks some
stray hair behind her ears as Natasha continues driving.
Natasha's trying to be respectful. Respect the fact that Adelina needs space. Respect the fact that Adelina may not want to show her soft underbelly. Respect the fact that-
"What is there to live for?" The Asian assassin asks in a small voice. Vulnerability surrounds her person as her anxious black eyes meet Natasha's concerned ones. "What am I gonna die for? Who is there to fight for?"
Natasha nips at the skin on her lower lip. To be truthful, the questions throw her off-guard. She masks it the best she can, but she can't keep her jaw from tensing slightly. She chooses her words carefully, praying she won't say something that'll make Adelina jump out of the moving vehicle. "I can't answer that."
"You're an Avenger." Adelina chuckles, almost condescendingly. There's a soft glint of patronization in her eyes, and it doesn't take a genius to see it. "You're an agent of SHIELD. You've escaped the Red Room by yourself. You're the human embodiment of the forces of evil becoming a force of good. How can you of all people tell me that?"
"It sounds hypocritical, I know," Natasha nods in acknowledgement, her gaze softening. "But... as much as I want to, I can't force you to do anything. I can't force you to be an Avenger, to join SHIELD, to even be a good person. Hell, you could become the head of Hydra if you wanted to. I hope you don't — with every piece of my person, I hope you don't — but... I can't make you."
"You've kept me captive this whole time."
"We both know there's a part of you that wants to stay." Natasha's bluntness causes Adelina to stare at her. "But, seriously, I can't answer your questions. I know Dreykov usually has a plan for everything you do, everything you think... but outside of the Red Room's walls, there isn't a leader who can control when you blink and if you get to- to breathe. I can't tell you everything you want to know. It's up to you to figure it out." She glances at Adelina, a soft smile tugging at her lips.
"You're not gonna tell me to join you guys?" Adelina's brows furrow in confusion.
"I want to. I really do. I encourage it. But I can't make you. If I made you, I'd be just as bad as him. Maybe you'll find someone to live for, someone to die for, someone to fight for." Natasha's shoulders raise in a small shrug. "You and I both know that my life has had its share of troubles, but now I've found my place to go. Maybe your place isn't SHIELD. Maybe it's some high school where you'll get to have a normal teenage life."
Adelina says nothing, part of her silence stemming from shock. She had expected Natasha and the rest of SHIELD to stay in the light, to fight for "the right cause," whatever that cause might be. She's surprised to see Natasha sitting here, saying that other options are available.
Have they always been there? The options?
"I'm really tired of your stupid hero speeches, y'know."
⧗ ⧗
Natasha and Adelina had returned to the compound about twenty minutes ago. Adelina stands in the bathroom, her hands gripping the edges of the sink. She's staring at herself in the mirror intently, her eyes locked on her reflection. She can hear Dreykov screaming in the back of her mind-
Do you seriously not believe what Romanova told you? You're a stupid, stupid girl, if so. I taught you to be better. You are marble. Why are you acting like glass?
Adelina's hands quiver as they hold onto the sink tightly. Her knuckles have turned white with the pressure, and her skin is noticeably paler than normal. She takes notice of the eye bags that plague her face. Were they always there? When was the last time she even looked in a mirror?
She pushes messy hair out of tired eyes. She shakes her head, hoping it'll push her out of her stupor. It doesn't. It only makes Dreykov angrier.
Stop it, you foolish girl. I won't hurt you if you just come back to Russia. You know things about the Avengers that you can tell me. Help your home. Help your sisters.
Adelina bites the inside of her mouth, nipping the skin until the metallic taste of blood touches her tongue. She elects to ignore it, continuing to stare at her reflection. Her stomach rumbles softly, like rolling thunder in the distance. Again, she elects to ignore it.
Her eyes flit to the scissors on the counter, right beside the faucet. She picks them up, her hand quivering as the blades gleam in the bathroom light.
What are you doing?
She lifts the scissors.
Valieva, if you even think about it, I'll have you gutted from the inside out!
A quiet sigh.
Adelina Valieva-
Snip!
The dark hair falls through the air, wafting to the floor like smoke. It floats to the ground elegantly, brushing against the tiles. Adelina stares at the chunk of hair missing from her reflection. Before she can think, before she can even take another breath, another quiet snip of the scissors hits her ears. Another lost lock swoons, ghosting Adelina's shoulders as it flutters towards the floor.
Considering the shaky hands and hasty decision-making, the cuts themselves don't look that bad. Perfect? No. But, the need for a hairstylist isn't dire... just yet. The freshly cut tips of her hair kiss her shoulders lightly, and it's like a weight has been lifted — physically and mentally, hair is surprisingly heavy! — off of her.
Adelina touches her shortened hair delicately, like it'll break if she's too rough with it. Her hair has been at her elbows for as long as she could remember. In the Red Room, long hair is a form of femininity, a form of strength. It's easily braided, or put into buns, or whatever Dreykov wanted his Widows' hair to look like.
Now, it's like a part of her is scattered all over the bathroom floor.
Adelina flinches when she hears a knock at the door. "Wanda, seriously, some of us have to use the bathroom! Stop popping your pimples and let me pee!"
She can't find it in her to respond. She only stares at the door as it shakes lightly from the knocking.
"Wanda, you usually cuss me out for talking to you through the bathroom door, why are you not cussing me out?"
No response.
"Wanda, seriously, are you okay in there? I'm about to open the door if you don't say something."
No response.
The door swings open, revealing Sam on the other side. "Wanda, what the f-"
Everything falls silent, the man's eyes widening as he spots the girl standing in the mirror. She must look absolutely crazy, standing there with her hair littering her shoulders. They stare at each other in absolute silence, and Sam isn't sure if he should even speak to Adelina. So, he does the next best thing—
"Romanoff!!"
{ AUTHOR'S NOTE }
LMAO HI GUYS... so ik that this is a lot later than i said it would be..
but i didn't realize how busy i'd be this school year? like last school
year was so easy to fly through but now i'm j trying not to kms everyday
but enough about that, i'm hoping to start posting more regularly
obviously, weekly didn't work, so i'm shooting for once/twice a month starting
in january (i promise, i'll try not to go awol this time LMAO)
but to everyone who's been reading, thank you so much!!
i see the votes and comments, they mean the world <3
ily, have a merry christmas/happy holidays, and have the best new year :)))
- v