Z,
We shared an Uber. Harry, Emily, and Niall were in the back, and I was in the front seat, on the passenger's seat, on our way to The Box - it was past midnight, and I was about to go on.
I kept my phone in my hand, trying not to look over my shoulder, whenever I heard Harry's voice come through. I did get us a table and I was eager to see if Stella had fulfilled her part of the deal.
After all, that table had cost me an arm, a leg, my liver, and my soul.
"Hello?"
"Stella!" I greeted my boss. Behind her, I could hear the muffled soft sounds of the club already alive. "Hi-"
"Zayn, I swear if you tell me you're not coming in an hour before your set-"
"No, no. I'm coming in." I explained quickly, as I paced on the balcony of the restaurant. "I just have a request: I need a table and a few bottles."
"You need a table?"
It was an unusual request. Unlike my co-workers, who always had friends over, I never asked for a table or a bottle. Primarily because the people I knew were already either working or going there. Secondly, I thought it was an odd and low flex to have. However, it was Liam's birthday, and he was celebrating.
And, deep down, I wanted to impress Harry – for some reason.
"Yes. For like..." I did a quick math. "Six people. Maybe?"
"Maybe?"
"Yes, can you have that going for me?"
"All tables are booked ," Stella added, stoically. "I don't have any room."
"Stella, please. I know we can fix some space up there. I've seen you open space for other tables. I know you can do it."
My manager took a deep breath in, and I knew she smelled blood in the water. I heard her steps roaming around, a door opening and closing. Suddenly, it was silent.
"You seem rather in need of this table, Zayn."
"A bit yes."
"If there was a way for you to get it, though ..." Stella tossed the bait. I stopped my pacing, looking inside the restaurant. Harry was kissing Emily, smiling into her lips. I had seen that smile and felt those lips. "Oh, well-"
"What do you want?"
"Well...what are you offering?"
I watched as Harry stood up and walked between the tables. His hand landed on his hair, touching softly. Heads turning as he walked. Did he know how handsome he was navigating the sea of common beauty, standing out like a beacon?
I turned back to the view.
"Full night's work for the next two weeks. I do the set, then the bar."
"Hm..." Stella added with interest. "Two months."
Shit!
"I'm not doing two months, Stella-"
"Then, I guess you don't need the table or the champagne. Bye then."
"Wait, wait..." I begged, starting to pace again. "Three weeks. Set, bar work, and stay after to clean up."
"A month and a half."
"A month," I responded with certainty. "A full month: I work every day - five days a week, not on weekends."
"Weekends are our busiest time."
" Sunday and Monday off then."
"Solid," Stella responded. "What else?"
" On the days I'm performing I come an hour before doors open to help prep, perform for two hours, stay another four for bar work and clean up after. When I'm not..." I took a deep sigh and closed my eyes. "I'll work the bar just the same and I'll even help with the public relations bit. For every table I get, whatever the final amount they pay, I get a cut - call it a service fee or a booking fee."
I could see Stella smiling.
"Interesting ." She commented. "I've never seen you this eager to work."
"Take it before I regret it."
"You will get your table for six, plus champagne."
"I want the middle part. For them to see me."
"I'm very generous today. So, granted."
"Thank you."
"Hey, Zayn?" She called me. "Our deal is effective immediately. Meaning you're working tomorrow too. If you back out of this deal we just made, you're fired."
And that was my sentence. I didn't even want to think about it much in fear that I'd regret doing this.
I was in a battle. Why was I trying to impress this guy whom I shagged once? It was stupid. Why did I care?
The answer was obvious when he spoke to me. His magnet pull made me say and act in a way I had never. Had Cupid caught up with me at last? I asked if he would've missed the male touch – my touch. He never answered because our friend interrupted but, I was dying to know.
The three of them spoke amicably, while my mind was elsewhere. I admit I was surprised to see Harry at Liam's birthday dinner and I had done my best to redeem myself in his eyes. Seeing him with Emily had been a bit of a curve ball - I did not expect him to be this open and easily versatile, but then again, I cannot judge or comment on someone's choices.
I was jealous, though.
During dinner, Harry kept his arm around her most of the time and I noticed the soft pecs on her lips. Her hand was always hidden, so I assume it rested on his thigh or somewhere on him. Emily was pretty, sensual and the boys were naturally trying to see if they had any chance, in case things didn't work out with Harry.
However, Emily only had eyes for the pretty florist. Outside looking in, it seemed he was just as into her, but always careful of his surroundings and trying to not do too much PDA.
I tried not to gawk or seem too eager with my staring. Not allowing my jealousy to reeve its ugly head. Was I even allowed to be jealous at this point? Did it make sense?
After all, we had one night stand and I messed it up. Jealousy on my part was...stupid, right?
I tried not to think about it too much or to listen to their conversation happening behind me and instead focused on my set. I accessed my cloud through my phone, searching for a folder marked with emotion. I listened to a lot of music made by all types of artists, so I would save them on playlists and label them under an emotion: sad, angsty, happy, excited, vibes...
My finger hovered over the playlist named 'Conflicted'; I opened it seeing all these songs that related to an emotion or a state of mind that linked to that emotion. Introspective songs that made you reflect on who you were or where you were going. They weren't necessarily sad just...conflicted.
What I'd usually do is have the playlist playing on one player, messing with the speed or the verb, while matching with a beat I had created playing on the other disc. I'd transition between beat and song, listening first on my headphones, before connecting so the audience could hear. The transitions had to be smooth, and the beat had to melt into the song as if it were an original and not a remix. It took skill and a good understanding of music for this to work without a hitch.
"I haven't been to The Box in a while, though..." Niall commented behind me. "Zayn used to get us free drinks all the time."
I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I looked back. I thought Harry was sitting right behind my seat, but my eyes landed on him – he was sitting at my left, right on the door with Emily in the middle; Arm over her shoulder, legs parted, hair on the side of his face. Looking fucking amazing.
I had to turn my head all the way to find Niall sitting behind my seat.
"Yeah. They were free for you, but I still had to pay for them."
"It was worth it, mate," Niall added. "We would spend nights there and Zayn is an amazing DJ."
"Resident DJ..." Harry added. "Right?"
I looked at him, "Yeah."
"And bloody good. Is the team still the same?"
"Ye-Yeah, pretty much. Ant, G, Mitch..."
"Is G the one in the booty shorts?"
"You know she is."
"Well..." Niall fixed his blazer and smoothed his hair. "I do remember her."
"Easy now, tiger."
"What?"
"You know you can't be this excited to see someone whom you don't dare to talk to again."
"I'll talk to her."
"Sure, you will..." I commented while looking at my phone. "It's been a couple of years. I'm sure G is over that little...mishap."
"What happened?" Harry asked, making my heart jump.
"Nothing happened," Niall responded.
"Bloody right nothing happened," I added. I looked over my shoulder seeing Harry. "He got intimidated and couldn't... perform."
" I was drunk, Zayn!"
"Oh." I turned to the front and chuckled. "Sure."
We arrived at the Box shortly after. The line to go inside was already forming with at least twenty people waiting to get into the busy club. From the outside, I could hear a familiar tune, guessing Pauli was probably playing still.
We stood close by in a circle, waiting for Louis, Liam and Katie who had taken another car.
I stood across from Harry, as he held Emilia's hand. She was standing between us talking to Niall at my left. I wanted to join the conversation, but I kept my attention on Harry.
What spell was this?
What...concoction had he spewed over me where I couldn't remove myself from his space. I wasn't being discreet; I knew it, but I hadn't seen him in so long and I couldn't stop staring.
I shouldn't have kissed him. I shouldn't have because now I want to kiss him again - I want to push her aside, take his face into mine and kiss him.
Fuck...how did I fall into this trap?
"They're here!" Niall pointed out, as the rest of our group exited the car. Louis came out in front, rubbing his palms and babbling about.
"I've missed this place!" He latched his arm around my neck and forced me to walk. "Let's go!"
We arrived at the door, with the bouncer recognizing me and removing the velvet rope. I stood aside, ushering my friends inside. Harry came last, he brushed against me, and I smelled his scent of cotton.
The Box was alive and ready with Pauli setting the scene for everyone. Pauli was good and the crowd was vibing to his fusion of soul and R&B.
We needed to get to the second floor, but I didn't want to cross the ocean of people dancing. It was rude to them, and it was uncomfortable for us. The last thing I wanted was for someone to be elbowed.
"Hang here," I begged my guests. I headed on over to the closest counter, where G was busy pouring beers. "Hey..."
"Hi! What's up?" She asked, handing over two long glasses to a client.
"Need the key. Going to the second floor."
G peeked over my shoulder. "Is that Liam?
"Yeah. It's his birthday."
"Oh! That's great. The blonde is the new girlfriend?"
"Katie, yes."
"She seems nice," G responded. "And you're getting them to the second floor?"
"Yeah. Stella got me a table."
G's eyes opened wide, and eyebrows rose. "Lucky sod."
"It cost me my life, so I'm not sure."
"Forced labour?"
"Very forced. A month of it."
"So, I'll be seeing you for a month. Every day?"
"Every fucking day." I completed. G touched my shoulder with empathy, and I kissed her hand. "Oh. Liam is not drinking. So, can I get something non alcoholic for the table?"
"Sure."
"And I need some bracelets too."
G smiled at me. My friend moved under the balcony getting me a handful of yellow paper bracelets that glowed in the dark.
"Let me get you the key. Hold on."
While I stood at the counter waiting for my key, I took in the crowd. They seemed to be enjoying Pauli's set. Mostly women. Good beat and a good vibe. Paulie had a similar taste to mine, so the transition would go smoothly.
He saw me from the stage, pointing at me and I raised a peace sign at him. Behind him, the visuals turned his set into a magical performance with images of bodies dancing. He was a master.
I felt a hand on my back. I was hoping it was one of the other boys, probably messing with me.
I was surprised to see Harry close to me. He leaned towards me, to talk close to my ear. He didn't have to do it either, I could hear him perfectly.
"All good?" He asked, looking at my face. His hand abandoned me, but Harry was deadly close. I nodded in silence. Harry leaned in again, his cheek brushing into mine. " Need help? "
He didn't move. Waiting for words to come out of my mouth, instead of a silent nod.
"Yeah, just waiting on a key. It can open that side door and we'd take the internal stairs, instead of going across the crowd."
"Good idea." He added. Harry looked at the bracelets on the counter. "That's for us?"
"Yeah."
Without saying much Harry extended his hand to me and I understood his wish. I grabbed one of the paper bracelets, wrapping it around his wrist.
"Cheers." He responded fixing it, so it would peek under his sleeve. "So, you're up next?"
"Yeah. In a few minutes."
"Can't wait."
Harry moved out of my space but kept staring at me and I did the same to him.
"Here you go!" G interrupted my hypnosis showing the key. She looked at Harry and her mouth fell open, in surprise. "Hi!"
"Hi," Harry responded, showing his hand. "I'm Harry."
"Gisel," G responded with a stupid smile on her face. "Or G."
"Nice to meet you,"
"I know." My friend was the last thing I'd call smooth. For someone so good, she managed some patrons to tip her with just a wink, at this point her interest was visible from space. "Welcome to The Box. If you need anything, just go around, and ask for G."
"You can also call her Gummy Bear..." I added. My friend glared at me, unamused as I ruined her conquest. "But I suggest not."
"Lovely..." Harry responded, with a smile. "How long have you been working here?"
"A while," G responded with a smile. She leaned on the counter, showing the depth of her cleavage on her tight tank top. I knew G was putting her Latino flare into the conversation. I couldn't blame her. "I've never seen you around before."
"It's my first time."
"First times are important."
I snorted at her comment and Harry giggled too. He was genuinely kind and interested in her conversation.
"I'm sure they are. "
"As I live and breathe!!" Louis appeared between us, leaning against the counter. G immediately stood back with her face closed. "Gisel."
"Louis."
G didn't say it with proper pronunciation. Instead, my friend made sure to say it with the Latino flare like Luís.
"I haven't seen you in a minute-"
"Weren't you banned?" G turned to me and pointed at him. "I banned him. Didn't I ban him?"
"Ban is lifted." Louis shot back. "I got a table."
"Technically, I got the table," I explained. "It's Liam's birthday."
"Liam I like," G responded. Then, she turned to Louis. "You not really."
"G, when are you going to admit that you love me? That we could be happy together? I could make you happy-"
"Por Diós-"
"Mamacita -"
"Okay, now that right there, it's rude."
"G! I mean it..." I chuckled at this little window into the past. Louis had always tried his best to get on G's side, failing every time. Niall almost had it, but when push came to shove, and he was faced with G's Latin hunger...he failed. So much he stuck to watching her from afar, not daring to come close - as I predicted. Harry seemed to enjoy this little banter as well as he had dimples on his face and a smile. "You and me. Your Latin flare. My Doncaster sass."
"What sass, Luis?"
"You know I love it when you say my name like that."
The bartender took a deep breath in. Then, she blinked and shot us her best smile.
"Louis, let me do you a favour..." Giselis leaned in closer to Louis. She grabbed the collar of his tracksuit, pulling him in. For a moment, I thought she would kiss him - that's how close she was. Instead, G whispered. "No."
My friend pushed Louis away and I grabbed the keys, while Louis cried at his lost chance.
"Cheers, G."
"No problem." She turned to Harry, fluttering her eyelashes. "I hope to see you soon, Harry."
"I'm coming back."
Harry looked at me at the end of this sentence, before walking away following Louis. I peeked over at G, who showed me her fist and silently bumped into mine.
I acted as a chaperone, taking them to the side door, after handing over the paper bracelets. I opened it, pushing it inside. My friends walked ahead, with Emily coming after and Harry ending the train. Again, he brushed past me, and I trembled.
I closed the door, going up to another floor. The music completely drowned, as if we were in a bubble of silence. They waited for me on the second landing, and I opened the door again, giving them passage and welcoming the noise. They all walked out, but Harry stayed.
"Thank you..." He said. "For this."
"No problem."
Harry stepped closer to me, standing in the doorframe. Ahead of us our friends quickly found their tables and settled down. The hostess on the second floor brought the buckets that would hold the champagne.
"I must go," I added. "I need to get ready. Pauli is almost done."
"Sure..." I removed the key from the lock and was ready to close the door when Harry planted a hand on it. "I haven't stopped thinking about it either."
His remark caught me off guard. My eyes flew to Emily.
"It was something else."
"Amazing. And the kiss was just...the cherry on top"
My breath caught in my throat, as I faced his beautiful features. Behind Harry's shoulder, I could see Emily being all giddy and loving the opportunity for VIP treatment.
"I have to go."
"Sure..." Harry responded by removing his hand. "I'll be watching you."
"You better. You have the best seat in the house."
****
I don't necessarily have a ritual before going on stage. I have my bag with my headphones, my computer with access to the cloud and that's about it. I changed my clothes, switching to a simple T-shirt and old jeans that allowed me to be comfortable on stage and I sweat in them.
Looking in the mirror, in the locker room, I styled my hair, smoothed my beard, and brushed my teeth. I admired my form and the first thing that popped into my mind was: would Harry like me like this? Instead of a suit or looking all dapper, just in a plain t-shirt and ripped jeans.
I took a deep breath in, grabbed my set, and walked out of the locker room. I headed down the corridor that led to the exit in the back. I pushed the door open, and the wave of sound hit me hard.
I came up on the left side of the stage hidden from the crowd. I went up the tiny steps, feeling the music around me as Paulie changed the tempo. Below, people moved in a crowd of bodies in sync. Some of the patrons waved at me and I waved back - I recognized some of the faces, but overall, everyone was too busy dancing to care.
Paulie winked at me, and we dabbed with a quick hug. I connected my laptop, placed my headphones around my neck and prepared my setlist with the songs and beats. I searched for the visuals that would play on the screen behind me: I went with a galaxy theme, just random images I placed together in video format, for two hours. I sent the video to the laptop that was placed in the back of the stage, which connected to the screen and put my video in the queue to start when Pauli's visuals ended.
For me to take over smoothly, there would be a second where Paulie and I would work in tandem for a better transition. He would leave a baseline beat going, fading his set away, before I could come in with mine. It would take less than a minute and the crowd was too far gone to even notice any change.
I stood next to Paulie who was vibing to his own set. He smiled at me, and I smiled back, it was good: ethereal, deep, with a rich melody. My body was moving to the beat, and I was getting into the groove of things. I looked around the room seeing the mesh of bodies at the bar. Anthony vibed while pouring a cocktail for some patrons and G was moving her shoulders while pouring some beer.
My eyes moved to the second balcony, seeing the sea of people enjoying the music and looking down. And right in the middle of all those faces, the one looking down at me. Emily stood at his side, with a glass of champagne, moving her body. He kept looking at me, softly moving. It was only him.
I felt a nudge at my side and Paulie signalled to the table. It was time.
I put my headphones on to listen to his fade out. I gave it time for the baseline to play, so the crowd was ready. Paulie and I bumped fists, as he walked out of the stage with his gear. Behind me, the screen had turned to black, as we entered the space. The only source of light in the club was the white lights that danced above the crowd, like signals of a lighthouse.
I counted the beat, with the music playing in my ears. Breathed in and out. When the time was right, I flipped the switch, and the music came in full force.
The visuals behind me took the club on a journey across the galaxies, in an explosion of colour, through melting stars and black holes. The crowd below me moved furiously and wooed as my set began to hit them. I navigated the table like a master, letting the music speak to me. My mind was blank, my body followed the melody, and I was in my element.
Time slowed down it stopped altogether as I played that small stage. I dared to close my eyes, loving the booming sound around me. I lived to be drowned in music, no matter the genre. This was my element. I could feel the melody coursing through me, making me move and sway - there was no better drug.
I transitioned between songs with ease, nailing every beat drop. With every change, I'd get a wave of cheers. A quick look at the patrons and I saw them going insane, dancing like wild and free souls at my feet. I was a maestro for their moment, and I loved it. The lights floated now in different colours, grazing around, matching my beat. G waved her arms, jumping up and down completely attuned. On the other side, Ant was moving with gusto and whistled with two fingers in his mouth.
I kept going with my buttons, switching from one song to the next without tripping or slipping a beat. It was a perfect set, and I knew it.
****
Time had zero meaning while I was on stage. I could play for an hour or twelve. I would've done it without complaining because that's the beauty of music.
I was sweating already, feeling my armpits slippery and the hairs on my neck glued to my skin. Time kept passing, with every song and I was loving it.
I looked at the second balcony and I caught Harry looking at me, enjoying. He was holding on to the railings, gripping it tight, staring down at me. I knew that look. I was all he wanted.
And I wanted him too.
I went to my computer - I wanted to send a message. I was going to change it up a bit, slow it down, and turn up the temperature.
I would sometimes incorporate video quotes or written messages in my sets, whenever I wanted to change styles. Usually with meaningful messages or something indicating my mood. So, I quickly searched in my library as the set continued.
I found it.
I changed the song. Something heavy, slow, calculated. The immediate reaction of the crowd would be to breathe, touch themselves and sway to the beat.
I prepared everything, using my software, and listening to my song in my headphones. Once it was done, I toned down the baseline beat. Everything was coming down slowly and the change in the crowd was evident.
I looked up at Harry. He was still staring down at me.
I pressed play on the video quote and Woody Allen's voice boomed:
"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."
Í dropped the heavy R&B beat and the crowd went insane. The lights turned red and green, swaying about around me. I kept my stare, seeing a smile form on Harry's lips and he enjoyed the song. I smiled as well.
I kept going for another hour under the R&B umbrella with sultry beats and intense jams. At some point, G came and gave me a bottle of water to keep going and blew me a kiss. I was close to the end of my set and another guest DJ would come in soon.
The crowd was vibrating hard, but I needed to end with a banger. I searched for the right song that could bridge from one genre to the next and began my transition.
I looked to the side, seeing the last DJ come on stage, we would do the same thing I had done with Paulie earlier: transitioning from my set to the baseline beat and then connecting to hers.
I did the transition, drank a bit of water, and grabbed my belongings. I dropped a kiss on the cheek of the next DJ and exited the stage.
As I did I heard a few people scream my name and yell I was amazing. I didn't do it for their validation - even if it were nice to hear - I did music for the sake of doing it. Still, I waved, pushed the door, and entered the quietness of the back of the club. I went down to that same locker room, pushed the door, and dropped my belongings on a chair. My ears buzzed still, but it would be gone soon.
I wiped the sweat off my brow, which clung to the hairs on my forehead and the back of my neck. I hadn't realized I had worked up such a sweat. I took off my shirt, unbuttoned my jeans and took off my shoes – I was burning up. I had a change of clothes inside my locker and was ready to go home.
The locker room door swung open. I thought it was a co-worker, maybe coming to get something - it was normal.
When I turned to the door, I caught Harry standing there.
He slammed the door behind him and marched towards me with resolve.
"Thank God you're as smart as you are handsome,"
"Shut up," Harry ordered me before his lips latched on mine.
He pushed against me, and we slammed against the nearest wall. We kissed with hunger and without shame, his hands palming every inch of me. This time we both had our wits about ourselves, and the kiss was so hot it could burn us both.
Harry's tongue invaded me, and I welcomed it, with openness as our gasps and hums of pleasure were louder than the beat outside the doors of the locker room. His lips went to my neck kissing and biting, taking in my perfume as I fumbled with his buttons; I caught my reflection in the mirror; it was so hot how Harry moved around me, not leaving me room to even breathe – my body had disappeared under him and all I saw was his back, his muscles flexing as he moved into me.
I moaned when I felt his hand massaging me. I welcomed his touch, leaning against the wall and loving the feeling of it. Harry hissed, biting my lip and I melted. I looked down seeing his hand inside my pants and I nearly collapsed. My cock was firmly tucked inside his hand, while he moved up and down on it. I felt him invade with his tongue, biting my chin and taking with him any drop of sense. All I heard were my moans and soft gasps of pleasure.
I needed to get it together.
"Wait...Wait..."
"What?" Harry asked, looking into me. His lips were pink and swollen from my kisses. "Am I grabbing it too hard?"
"No. I just...need something from my bag..."
Harry detached himself from me and I went to my bag. I found a condom, in the middle of my belongings, then turned to him waving it. Temptation itself smiled at me.
Harry motioned to something behind me, and I looked back, seeing the open stall. I wandered back and he walked in with me, following my steps without breaking eye contact. We got into the stall, with Harry closing the door behind him. He took the condom from my hand but latched his hand behind my neck - for a moment, he didn't kiss me. He just stared at me. I took notice of how green his eyes were and how much they wanted me.
"Beautiful..." Harry whispered taking me in.
I couldn't take it anymore. I just wanted to taste him again. Harry denied me his lips, in a repetition of what happened on the first night. He cupped my head, tilted it back slightly and continued to stare at me. Harry lost his nose on my neck, sniffing me, coming up to my jawline, leaving me kisses and stopping right below my lower lip. I felt his thumbs rub my cheeks and I trembled in anticipation, pulling him by the hem of his shirt.
His lips grazed mine, gasping into me. A soft pec on my lips - just tasting me. Then another in the corner of my mouth. One more parting of my lips. Then, he licked me, and I tasted his tongue. I pulled him towards me as we began memorizing each other's lips and how they felt.
Our bodies rubbed together in a dance of seduction that we did not want to end. Soft gasps came out of my lips with Harry's little whimpers of pleasure. I surrendered to a battle I didn't know how to win. Sprawling against the white tiles, I let him wank me all in the open again, loving his hand on me. We looked down at the scene of my cock on his hand, pulling heavy moans out of me and hums of admiration from him.
I hissed at him, grabbing him by the hair and Harry moaned back.
I didn't want it to stop.
His lips abandoned me again, as Harry sat down on the toilet. Slowly, looking at me with desire in his eyes and halfway gone, I saw him undo his belt, pop open the button and zipper down. A little more movement and it was out, standing and waiting for me. Thick, pink, and delicious looking. I was salivating already.
I watched him roll down the condom to the base and then wait for me. Shamelessly, I took off my briefs and trousers, leaving them bundled on the floor.
I straddled him, taking off his shirt and loving his beautiful body. The tattoo on his stomach was doing things to me - so perfectly placed.
Harry guided himself to my entrance. I lifted my hips a little and felt him poke me. With my eyes glued on his, I took him on with tiny whimpers as he stretched me out. Harry shushed me softly, kissing me, while his hands rested at my sides. Before I knew it, I had taken all of him and we were moving.
Harry breathed on me with a warm breath smelling of champagne and I took it. I rocked back and forth on him, rolling my hips, catching the good feeling that coursed through my body. It wasn't long until I whimpered loudly; Harry watched me closely, studying my reactions and biting his lip.
"Baby..." He said in a whisper, completely lost. "Fuck...You're a dream..."
I was falling into a pleasure cloud, making me toss my head back while grabbing his hair and just riding him. My sounds echoed all around. What was this? What magic was this?
Making my brain, my heart and my cock sing the same melody. I was not detached like all the other times, it was rippling through my skin, opening my pores, and raising my hairs. It was taking my breath away, driving me mad and I was so fucking...delighted.
I had a smile on my lips, I was sure. I was warm and in a bundle of emotions, I couldn't name them. I looked back at Harry, seeing him completely gone and loving it just as hard. Eyes darkened, parted lips and a flushed face. He saw my smile and smiled too.
It was like seeing myself in him. And he was seeing himself on me.
Mirrors that reflect the same thing.
"Shit..." I moaned when the pleasure was just eating away at my skin. "What the fuck...What are you...?"
The curse words just rolled out of my lips while Harry displayed a prideful smile. Harry moved his hips towards me, and I yelped, keeping him close to me. He began matching my rhythm and I held on to the wall, for sanity and balance.
"Who's the...loud one now, huh?" Harry whispered against my lips, almost out of breath. "Who's gone now?"
"Shut up..."
"Look at you riding my cock..." Harry let out with pride, as I pulled him closer, and he kept going at a good rhythm. "Is it good?"
"Yes..."
"Yeah? Good cock, hm?
"So good. Fuck..."
"Yeah... He whispered against my lips. "Come here."
Harry locked his arms around my waist, pulling me closer and drowning me with his lips. His hips began moving deeper into me, making me lose all control and howl like a wolf at the moon.
Harry slapped my ass and I glared at him. He slapped me again and pushed him against the water tank, with a hand on his neck.
We stopped, both of us out of breath.
Harry was fierce with his stare and so was I.
"Let go."
"No,"
I began moving my hips into him, loving the feel of it. I rolled slowly onto him, seeing Harry release a soft pant and close his eyes gently.
His hands were still at my hips, helping with my movement. I heard him curse me again, looking down with eyebrows doing a funny motion. He moaned again as I rolled even slower.
"Jesus Christ..."
I felt him push his hips up into me, and I pressed my fingers with intention around his neck, keeping him at arm's length.
"No."
"Let go."
I pressed harder against him. "No,"
I saw the defiance in his eyes, and I wanted it. I wanted to control him. I wanted him on his knees. I wanted him to beg.
Harry pulled my hand away, but I went for his neck again. We tussled for control, gripping arms and wrists, on a thin line between an actual fight and sensual tension.
In the end, I grabbed his wrists, pinning them above his head against the wall. Slowly, I leaned into him, and with my tongue out I licked a filthy kiss off him. Harry watched me closely, completely lost, welcoming my lengthy kisses and, soon enough, responding with his tongue back.
I began my motion again, lulling back and forth. I kept my eyes locked on Harry, who watched with the utmost attention - admiring my features and my form. The pleasure washed over me making me release tiny gasps; my grip on his wrists loosened, with the good feeling becoming more intense in me.
"Shit..." I let out, losing the battle. Harry smirked at me and I amped my speed. "Fuck..."
"Come on, baby..."
With a growl, Harry freed himself from my grip, latching his arms around my waist and sitting me properly on his cock. My hands went for his hair, as we matched a rhythm.
We were furious.
He slammed his hips into me, and I rolled my hips as well. We gasped into one another, getting higher and higher with only one thing on our minds. We moved fast, with the slapping sounds echoing around us and my moans becoming louder with no shame.
The last wail of pleasure escaped my lips, shooting between us and draping my skin and his. He came next, howling with his face hidden in my chest and gasping. We convulsed into one another until we stopped.
I stayed sat on him, as time passed. I smelled his hair, softly rubbing his back and I felt him hold me closer, kissing my chest.
In the end, I got up from his lap, searching for my clothes on the floor, while Harry tossed the condom in the bin before leaving the stall, with his shirt over his shoulder. I heard him move around the locker room and then the sound of running water. Once I was seemingly dressed, I came out of the stall, seeing Harry dry his hands.
"I want to get to know you..." Harry stopped his task, looking at me through the mirror. "Properly."
He turned to me, leaning against the sink. Harry grabbed his shirt, put it on and then fixed his long hair. His eyebrows did the funny thing again, as he listened.
"What does that mean?"
I shrugged, "I want to know you."
"I thought you weren't looking for anything serious-"
"I'm not," I confessed. "I want to know you."
Harry wiped his hands, then tossed the crumpled paper into the bin. His arms crossed over his chest as he pondered my suggestion.
"So, you want to date me."
"I want to know you."
"You get to know people through dates."
I didn't want to argue the semantics or dynamic of the situation.
"I honestly, just want to understand- "
"Understand what?"
"Who you are." I let out. "I'm...I'm confused."
"Confused?"
"Can you not repeat what I say? It fucking annoys me."
We stopped for a moment, accessing one another at a distance. Harry kept watching me with a serious look on his face.
"You just want to get to know me."
"Yes," I responded. "I want to start over, Harry and do things properly."
Harry accessed me for a moment trying to understand where I was coming from.
"I'm with Emily." He announced. "We are recent, but I like her. She's nice."
"I know." I continued. "I won't meddle between the two of you. I just want...to understand. I've never met someone like you. Maybe if I understand, it won't bother me as much."
"I bother you?"
"You do," I confessed. "We kissed and I haven't stopped thinking about it. Now...this. I want to understand this."
"Zayn, you don't make any sense."
I shot him a smile and he responded. "I know."
Harry looked around the locker room, with arms crossed at the chest still, flexing his muscles.
"We can date- "
"It's not a date." I underlined. Couldn't he understand what I was saying? "I date means something else- "
"We did something else, Zayn. Twice now."
"A date means a relationship. I don't want a relationship and you're with Emily. It's not a date."
Harry nodded slowly.
"We can...hang out, then." He proposed. "How many hanging out moments do you need before you understand me and never want to speak to me again?"
"I wouldn't-"
"Oh, you would," Harry added. "I bet more than two dates, for you, it's dangerous territory. You ghosted me after a simple pint and a shag, imagine spending time with me properly. You'd fake your death."
"I...I'm not that horrible, Harry. And I have apologized."
"How many? What's your limit? What do you usually go for on your dates?"
"Two," I responded. "One to see the person, the second to get the job done."
"Very professional of you, Zayn."
"I'm not looking for anything serious, therefore there's no need to be too involved."
"I know. You've told me." Harry sauntered towards me, with hands in his pockets. "Let's get to know one another. Just...getting to know one another. Hang out together."
"Yeah, I guess..."
"How many?"
"Two-"
"Not two." Harry underlined. "You can't get to know me in two moments. Six."
"What, are we getting married now?" I responded to which Harry snorted. "Four. Two on you. Two on me."
"And what do we do on these hanging out moments?" He wondered. "Nothing sexual I assume."
He got me there.
"No, no..." I cleared my throat, trying to find my footing. "No. I think we got it out of our system. We...hang out...get to know one another...No sex."
"So, you're not attracted to me, then?"
The question caught me off guard, but I kept my composure.
"I want to hang out as...friends."
"As friends?"
"As...friends, yes."
"So, in reality, you want to be my friend?"
"Yeah..." I let out trying to be comfortable with my answer. "Yes."
Harry shot me an award-winning smile full of dimples. He touched his hair again, then turned to me with his hand out.
"I thought you said you were honest."
"I am."
"You can say you're attracted to me, Zayn. It's fine." I scoffed at his remark. "Here: I find you very attractive and a bloody good shag."
My heart skipped a beat for a moment. I couldn't dare to say the words, but it was written all over my face.
"Harry, I- "
"Say it or this little plan of yours is a no-go. I go back to my date and carry on."
"Notice you didn't say, girlfriend- "
"Are you attracted to me or not?"
I swallowed hard under those green eyes full of intention. The smirk was full of confidence and dimples to match. Harry swayed gently from side to side, waiting on my answer. I watched him closely.
Fuck, he was beautiful.
"I am."
"Ah." Harry let out. "Wasn't that painful, now was it?"
"We're not dating." I showed him my hand. "We're hanging out. As friends."
"So, you can get to know me, and I can get to know you, while we're at it."
"Yes. Deal?"
Harry smiled wider, then took my hand and shook it. "Deal. Starting...?"
"Erm..." I checked my mind for a moment, seeing my hellish schedule. "Friday."
"Good day to start. Shall I begin?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Cool.." We were still shaking hands while looking at one another. In the end, Harry let go of my hand, pocketing it. "Friday, then."
"Friday."
"Are we allowed to text and call in between or that's too much in the dating territory?"
I caught the cheeky remark. "Fine."
"All right..." Harry walked towards the door of the locker room, pulling it open. He looked at his shoulder and winked. "See you Friday then, friend."
Harry closed the door behind him, leaving me behind. Looking at myself in the mirror my chest was covered with red markings and I had a stupid smile on my face.