Celine
I walk to my first lesson alone. Amy left as soon as the bell rang, much to my delight. She also didn't try talk to me again which is a relief in itself. She's annoying and radiates with desperation.
I have maths. The teacher quickly tells me to sit at the back, and I do, finding myself beside a blonde boy with bright blue eyes. He looks a bit like Joey, and it makes me want to cry. I face away from him, and he doesn't try to talk to me until we're told to work on the sheet together.
"The first one is seventy-six." He murmurs.
"I know." I say.
I pull my phone out of my blazer pocket, then click onto the first contact, not looking at the name of it before typing out:
ME: This school sucs willy.
I check what I've typed it on—their family group chat. I knew it'd be either that or one of them, since I don't message other people, mostly due to the lack of people to talk to.
JULIEN: [skull emoji]
ME: Some girl is stering at me. Think she's ploting my murder.
I meet the girls eye and glare. She scowls at me before looking away. I smile victoriously.
ME: She had beedy eyes and all.
NICOLAS: Do you want me to call the police?
ME: I think it's neoliberal.
NICOLAS: What?
ME: Nessecary.
ME: Necesarry.
ME: U know what I mean.
MATTEO: Hated school.
ME: U where going on about how much u live ut yetsretsay.
ME: Yesterday**
MATTEO: Yeah. I was trying to make you feel better.
ME: Didn't work.
ADRIEN: Celine, you didn't take your lunch.
ME: Ok? Not hungry anyways.
The teacher starts walking around the class, so I put my phone away and don't talk for the rest of the lesson.
•
Science goes the same way. I don't make any friends, but I didn't really expect to. I don't like anyone in my classes, and they don't seem to like me either.
By the time break comes around, I decide to stay in the toilets for the excruciatingly long fifteen minutes. I pull my phone out again, clicking onto their family group chat.
ME: This school still sucs Willy.
NICOLAS: Stop saying Willy.
ME: Make me [angry emoji]
NICOLAS: Get off your phone in school, kid. Go play with your friends.
ME: Whatevzzzzz. U reak anyway. Can smell u thru the screne xx
I turn my phone off, frowning. What am I supposed to do now?
•
Halfway through the first lesson of French, a girl walks in twenty minutes late, appearing tired. But she still has a wide smile on her face that falters, then resumes when she looks at me.
"She's sitting in my seat, miss." She says.
"There's a seat beside her." The teacher replies impatiently. "Sit down, Riley."
She sighs heavily, walking toward me slowly. She drops into the seat beside me, glancing at me.
"You're new." She says.
"Mhm." I mumble.
She tilts her head. "What's your name?"
"Celine."
"Like Celine Dion?"
"I guess." I mutter.
She grabs her book, flipping it open. Then she tilts mine, allowing herself to copy off of it.
Another half an hour passes. She doesn't talk to me, only silently copies the little amount of work I've done. Just because I don't want to do French, it doesn't meet I don't have this sudden urge to make my dad proud, even if I don't know why I'm trying to.
"This class blows." She whispers. "I should've picked Spanish."
"I have to do French."
"Why?" She questions, moving her strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder.
"I'm French. And my dad is making me."
"Oh. Well, I guess it worked out. Now you have a friend." She says, grinning.
"You?"
"You don't have to sound so sad about it." She rolls her eyes, but then laughs. "I'll introduce you to my other friends at lunch so you're not a loner."
"I'm not a loner."
"Mhm." She mumbles, laying her head on the desk. "Wake me up when the lesson ends."
She closes her eyes and falls asleep.
•
"You figure skate? That's so cool!" One of Riley's friends, Avery, exclaims. I can barely hear her over the chatter in the dining hall, full with hundreds of students and lined with dozens of tables. I'm on one of the biggest ones—Riley's friendship group is quite large, it seems.
They jump into another conversation, but when the double doors to the lunch hall open, I look over. Everyone seems to, their eyes trailing Camilo and Léo, who are surrounded by their friends, as they walk over to a table. The small group of three already taking up some of the chairs vacate immediately, making room for them.
My gaze catches Léo's, and he smiles at me. I smile back, then turn to Avery, who laughs loudly at something the girl sitting beside her said.
I look over at Léo and Camilo again. The latter looks at me, smiling like Léo did. Then he tilts his head, furrowing his eyebrows as his attention zeroes into someone behind me.
I turn around. A boy who seems to be around Léo and Camilo's age stands there. He taps on Riley's shoulder, and she turns around, her smile dimming immediately.
"What, Frankie?" She says.
"I'm going home, give me the key."
"No. Mum said you're not allowed there by yourself anymore after you threw a party and your girlfriend fought someone."
His eyes narrow into a glare. He smooths his curly blonde hair back with a hand as he looks down at her. I notice Riley tense up.
"No one's going to come to a party in the middle of the day, Riley. Give me the key."
"No."
A girl walks up beside him then, a nervous look on her face. I recognise her as Amalia—the girl who worked at the dance studio I take my ballet classes at.
"You're not getting it." Riley says. "You're not allowed it."
"It's okay," Amalia says to him. When he turns to look at her, she glances away, like she's afraid of his gaze. "You only have one free period, anyway. Maybe you can go to McDonalds?"
"Fucks sake." He mutters, rolling his eyes. He grabs her hand, pulling her away from us.
"Is that your brother?"
"Unfortunately." She replies quietly. "I thought when he got a girlfriend he'd be nicer, but he isn't."
"She's his girlfriend?" I question.
"Yep." She murmurs. "I know, he's way below her standards, isn't he? I don't know why she's with him."
There's an awkward silence after that, but when Avery begins asking more questions about figure skating, it quickly dissipates.
•
I get sat next to Avery in English. I copy most of her work, but during the last thirty minutes of class the teacher gets the reading books out and says we're gonna do popcorn reading.
Nervousness encases me as soon as the words leave her mouth, but she doesn't pick on me until fifteen minutes have passed.
"No, thanks." I mutter.
"Everyone has to participate, Celine." She replies sharply.
I sigh, my hands shaking beneath the desk, and read the first sentence. For a moment I think all is going well, but then I fumble and can't regain my confidence, messing up the rest of the paragraph.
Amy, sitting two rows in front of me, turns around and laughs. "Celine can't read."
"Shut up." I say. "You can't brush your hair."
Laughs echo across the room, and I give her a sweet smile.
"Celine!" The teacher exclaims, "go stand outside."
I roll my eyes, stand and grab my bag. "Didn't wanna be here anyway."
"Now!"
"You can see me walking to the door, can't you?" I snap, pulling it open and letting it slam behind me.
Instead of standing outside, I decide instead to take a stroll. I walk down the hallway, circling them until I reach a set of stairs. I walk up them, and as I'm travelling through maths for the third time in a few minutes, the door beside me opens and Camilo walks out.
"Why aren't you in class?" He asks me.
"Because the teacher's stupid."
He frowns. "What happened?"
"None of your business. Leave me alone."
I go to walk away, but he grabs my hand and pulls me back. "Tell me what happened, Celine."
"Nothing." I snatch my hand out of his, suddenly embarrassed.
"Celine."
"What?"
He sighs. "You can come sit with me."
I look into his class, finding it full with people his age yet empty of a teacher. I wrap my arms around myself and shake my head.
"Fine, then let's sit out here."
He pulls me toward the table in the workplace area, pulling out a chair for me before gently pushing me down into it. He sits across from me, pulling his phone out.
I lean my head on the table.
Celine can't read.
Yes I can. Just because I can't as well as others, it doesn't mean I can't read. I did well on the first bit.
"Celine." Camilo says again, this time softer. "What's the matter?"
"I wanna go home."
He looks at me for a moment before nodding. "Okay."
•
Camilo texts our father before taking me down to the office. He explains to the receptionist that I'm going home because I don't feel well, and by that time my dad has already arrived.
He signs me out, and I say goodbye to Camilo before following him out of the school and to his car. He opens my door for me, but I don't look at him as I climb in. He rounds the car and gets into the drivers seat, turning the car on.
Halfway home, I whisper the words: "I can read."
His eyes soften. "I know you can, baby."
I nod twice, bringing my hand up to my mouth to begin biting my nails. Then I nod again, as though I'm trying to convince myself.
When we get home, I get out quickly and walk to the door. But when I try open it, I find that it's locked so I have to wait for my dad to open it for me. He does, and I'm about to rush up the stairs and to my bedroom when he says my name.
"What?" I whisper.
"What happened?" He asks me.
"Nothing." I say, but it's so obviously a lie.
He frowns. "Sweetheart, you can tell me."
"When can we go to the ice rink?"
"Your session is at half three." He says. "Why don't you take a little nap before you go, and when you wake up I can make you some food."
I nod. "Okay."
He smiles. "We can talk when you wake up, too." He adds.
I turn and walk up the stairs, to my bedroom. I change into my pyjamas, then curl up beneath my covers. But I don't go to sleep. Instead, I check my phone, which has a message on it from my mother.
I thought she blocked me.
MUM: I need to talk to you.
I furrow my eyebrows.
ME: Why??
MUM: Tell your dad you're gonna stay at my house for tonight.
I tilt my head as I look at the screen.
ME: Don't think it works that like.
ME: Like that I meant.
MUM: So now you're choosing him over me? Because he gave you a nice room?
ME: I neever said that.
MUM: Ungrateful little bitch.
ME: No Im not.
MUM: Yes you are!!
MUM: You're throwing everything I gave you away.
MUM: Horrible girl.
I turn my phone off as more insults come in on the notification banners. My eyes water, but I turn my phone on silent and wrap my arms around myself, hugging my pillow.
I fall asleep quickly.