tw: sae's got some eating issues that come up in this chapter, so if that stuff triggers you, maybe skip this one. mental health > fictional lesbians, y'all.
The rest of the game went on uneventfully and Sae found herself bored and zoning out. Everyone else was giggling and squealing and plenty occupied with it, so she eventually lay her head down on Ryusei's shoulder and started wondering about how much sleep she would get tonight and how ugly she would look tomorrow as a result of the unfortunate answer.
She should have known that Shuto would have been her downfall. Of course she was just being nice. Trying to include Ryusei in the name of sportsmanship and team bonding. And if it were any other two people, she might have applauded the efforts, especially if it helped them get to nationals. But in this circumstance specifically, she was thinking how she should have listened to Rin's many, many requests to formally boot her off the squad. That, and how she was going to get out of this. Because when her turn came, who else was she going to pick but Sae?
Which might not be all bad, Sae tried to convince herself. It's not like Ryusei would ask her something overly embarrassing or make her do anything dangerous. They were best friends, after all. That relationship, she assumed, came with some respect and investment in the other's wellbeing.
From the moment Ryusei's name appeared on Shuto's lips, time was moving in flashes rather than linear time. Dare, Ryusei had answered in response to the question, followed by, obviously. She didn't catch what she'd been asked to do. All she knew was that Ryusei gently nudged her head with her own and said, I gotta take a break on being your pillow, bestie. Which was of course, terrifyingly followed by, but don't worry. I'll be right back for you.
She got up to fulfill the task, which Sae didn't pay attention to either, because she was looking down at her freshly hot pink painted nails and trying to discern what her answer should be. For all the talking they did and all the time they spent together, she had no idea what she might ask her or what she might try to get her to do. And why was the thought so terrifying anyways? No was one of her favourite words and lying was one of her most well seasoned pastimes. So there was no wrong answer, was there? Or, by that logic, no right one. Whether she understood the reasoning behind it or not, it was terrifying. And she still hadn't come to a decision by the time Ryusei returned to their mats and placed herself right in front of Sae.
She leaned right in until she was just a few inches from her own face, like they were the only two people in the room, and said, "Alright, captain. Your turn. Truth or dare?"
Sae knew it showed weakness to hesitate. She'd always thought so. But she couldn't help it. She didn't have any fully formed word ready on her tongue. She tried to race through towards one, knowing it only got worse with every moment of silence. Dare, obviously. They were best friends. Maybe she should follow suit. But truth would be such an easier option to cope with. She had a good poker face. She thought so, anyways. Both felt like a trap, just ready to clamp her leg in it and eat her alive.
She begged herself to just make some choice for god's sake, and was just about to, but the second her lips parted, like by divine intervention, the doorbell rang. Pizza was here.
In the same second that Sae's eyes looked over to the stairway, Ryusei reached for her wrist, her hand finding a tight grip on it. "I don't think so. Rinny, can you get that?"
"In what fucking world would I ever listen to you?" Rin shot back from across the room.
Sae pulled her arm back. She expected it to be difficult, but Ryusei let her go with surprisingly little fight. She rolled her eyes, hoping she could take the focus off her own embarrassment.
"Rin can't go," Sae said. "I have to pay."
With that, she got up, took the first few stairs fairly calmly, and once out of sight, ran the rest of the way.
With real food in the room, truth of dare had tapered off and Sae had made it out of the game unscathed. Despite her initial outburst, Rin had made good choices and ordered enough for all the girls and everyone was happy. Once again, Sae felt confident in her future captainhood and waited until everyone was fully digging in before making the move to sneak back upstairs.
Ryusei was the only one who noticed. "You're not having any?"
"Maybe later," Sae lied. "I'll be right back."
She'd done a lot of work towards making the kitchen a safe place for herself. Eating had always been hard for Sae. Food was such a fickle devil. So much could be derailed with a few misdirected bites. For so long, food had been an enemy that had threatened to steal everything she held dear, namely cheerleading, right from her deserving, calloused hands.
Things weren't like that anymore. Food was her friend. Food was nourishment. Food fueled her ability to do everything that she loved. So long as it was the right foods, eaten at the right amounts, at the right times during the day, and that she never wavered from her plan.
She pulled one of her meal prep containers out of the fridge and put it into the microwave. She was hungry, and she'd been staring at candy all night. She mindlessly flicked her chopsticks together as she watched the dish spin through the microwave door. It wasn't good for her, the microwaves and all that, and would probably do something awful to her cells eventually, but it was a bad habit that she hadn't quite broken yet. With one second left, she pulled the door open, and carefully transported the hot container onto the counter.
The food was hot too, and Sae made it through exactly two pieces of broccoli and one bite of carrot before she'd badly burnt her tongue and had to take a break. While she waited for it to cool, she heard footsteps on the stairs. It immediately annoyed her. Because of course it was Rin, and she'd been counting on her to hold the reins and be in charge while she stepped away. She had a glare on her face and a command on her tongue, but when the figure came into the doorway, both things fell away. It was only Ryusei. Well, her, and her half eaten slice of pizza in her hand.
"There you are," she said upon seeing Sae.
"What are you doing up here?" Sae asked.
Ryusei raised her eyebrows a little. "Well, you took off and didn't come back, so."
"So," Sae said.
"What are you doing?" Ryusei asked, stepping into the massive kitchen and walking all the way over to Sae. When she reached her, she peered inside the container and then started laughing. "Seriously? You snuck away from the pizza party to have the world's most depressing dinner?"
"I'll have you know that this is a perfectly portioned meal designed to keep my body working at its optimal rate," Sae snapped back, defensively snatching her hot container out of Ryusei's view.
"There's like, three pieces of broccoli in there," Ryusei said.
"I'm five foot one," Sae said back.
"Okay, little Itoshi." Ryusei just laughed more. "Damn. You don't have a lick of joy in your life, do you?"
"I have cheerleading," Sae said. "And I have you."
She hadn't thought much about either comment, because those were indeed the two great joys she had in her life. She was captain of the best squad Blue Lock Prep had had in over a decade, hands down, and she had found herself a perfect base and best friend all wrapped up in one insanely aesthetically pleasing package. She had plenty of joy in her life.
But for whatever reason, those two comments only made the gawking and laughing worse.
"Well, you need more than that," Ryusei said, treating herself to a massive bite of her pizza slice. "You need pizza."
"I assure you," Sae said. "I don't."
"You know, if I remember correctly, you chickened out of your dare downstairs," Ryusei said.
Because she wasn't watching, Sae felt less ashamed about how flustered that made her feel. She was hoping she'd avoided it so masterfully that it wouldn't be brought up. Ryusei's eyes were still on her pizza as she took another bite, so big that only the crust remained.
"I never even said dare," Sae said.
"I know," Ryusei said. Now she looked up. "I decided for you."
"Those aren't the rules," Sae said.
"I dare you to have one bite of pizza," Ryusei said, shaking the crust out at her. "Come on. It's just the crust."
"No," Sae said. She lifted herself up and took a seat on the counter and stuck her chopsticks into the counter, coming away with a piece of broccoli she stuck into her mouth.
Ryusei moved even closer to her, standing right in front of her knees. Not touching, but just barely. "You can't say no. That's not how truth or dare works."
"Truth or dare isn't the law," Sae said, rolling her eyes. "I'm not bound to the rules of truth or dare."
"You are, I'm afraid," Ryusei said with a laugh.
"No way," Sae said, waving her away. She leaned away, but she didn't step back. As soon as Sae's hand dropped, she returned upright. "I haven't eaten bread since I was like, seven."
"That's a lot of years of missing out," Ryusei said.
"I'm not missing out," Sae said.
"You don't think you're missing out," Ryusei corrected. "Because you don't know what you're missing out on."
Sae rolled her eyes. Ryusei stepped forward a little. Her knees were brushing her stomach now.
"Come on, try it," Ryusei continued. Sae didn't feel speaking was all that easy, so she just shook her head. "What if we do that thing from lady and the tramp?"
"What's that?" Sae asked.
"You know," Ryusei said. She leaned her head down and made a few jerking motions with it. It did not jog Sae's memory any. "The movie with the dogs?"
Sae shook her head again, communicating that she had no fucking clue what the hell she was talking about. Ryusei rolled her pink eyes and stuck the pizza crust in her own mouth. Like an after dinner cigar, kind of. Then, she put a hand on the counter on each side of Sae's legs, pressed her stomach right into her knees, and shook the crust hanging out of her mouth at her a couple times.
Sae laughed. She hadn't meant to, but the whole thing was just so ridiculous and childish that she couldn't help herself. She had no idea what the dogs had done in the movie, but she couldn't help but wonder why the hell Ryusei thought eating something out of her mouth would make it more appealing.
For some reason, it did though. Sae knew that logically, this food was pizza crust, bread, one of her most mortal food enemies, but as she continued looking at this ridiculous scene, all she could hear in her mind was safe food.
Sae leaned forward, took the tiniest bite of pizza crust she could manage, and pulled away with it in her mouth.
"There ya go." Ryusei chomped off the part of it that had been in her mouth, and while she was still chewing, asked, "How is it?"
It had been a long time since Sae had tasted carbs like this. So long, in fact, that she didn't want to ruin it by trying to speak. And so she just moaned in response.
"Damn," Ryusei said. "That's something I could get used to."
Sae let herself swallow the bite before she spoke. "Watching me eat bread?"
"Sure," Ryusei answered, putting the remaining crust back in her mouth. "Here. Have one more."
It was hardly Sae's doing, but there was so much less of it now. It was so immediately apparent that Sae wondered if their mouths would touch when she took her bite. Not that she minded, apparently, because it didn't stop her. She found herself instead wondering what she'd feel about it. Best friends were close, or so she was learning, but how close was too close? Their mouths didn't touch. She wasn't sure what she felt about that either, but it wasn't nothing.
Sae was mid bite when she heard, from outside the kitchen, "What are you guys doing?"
She finished her bite and pulled back. Ryusei didn't make any sudden affair about pulling herself from Sae's knees and turning around. She seemed to have no idea how bad this looked.
"Nothing," Sae snapped at Oliver, who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, looking awfully smug in the way only she did. "What are you doing up here anyways?"
She pointed at the freezer. "Some of the girls want ice."
Sae rolled her eyes and motioned towards the freezer, wordlessly telling her to go ahead. She was annoyed by the intrusion but also because she was sure that this bite was just as good, if not better, than the last, but because of her irritation, she was entirely unable to enjoy it. The bread felt tougher and harder to swallow. Like it was drying her mouth and would get stuck in her throat. Somehow, she managed.
Ryusei popped the last bit of pizza crush in her mouth. "Well, I'll head back down. See you there."
"Bye," Sae said.
Oliver didn't say anything. She had found herself a bowl and was shovelling ice from the ice catch into it, humming to herself. When she heard the door to the basement open and then close, however, she looked over at Sae, grinning. Sae glared and picked her vegetable and salmon container back up, sticking a piece in her mouth.
"Were you," Oliver started, but then paused. Sae felt this uncanny urge to smack her. Surely she wasn't going to ask if they were kissing, even though she knew full well that's what it had looked like. She didn't though. Instead, she finished the question, "Eating bread?"
Oh, Sae thought. Bullet dodged.
"I can eat bread, Oliver," she snapped. "It's not a crime."
"You haven't eaten bread since you were seven years old," Oliver said, making Sae cringe a little. She went back to the ice. "It's a fact you're weirdly proud of that comes up more than it should."
"So what?" Sae said. "It's not a big deal."
"No," Oliver said. She returned the ice scoop and closed the freezer, those heterochromatic eyes meeting Sae's with a nerve she didn't necessarily appreciate. "It's not a big deal."
But she way she said it was so pointed, Sae wasn't entirely convinced they were talking about bread. "What are you saying?"
"All I'm saying," Oliver said, smirking and shrugging. "Is that nobody cares."
"Nobody cares about what?" Sae asked, genuinely confused.
Oliver let out an exasperated breath. "Oh boy. Look, when you finally figure your shit out, just remember, nobody cares."