It was Wednesday. Charlotte had raced through Catcher in the Rye, partially because she had wanted to return the book as quickly as possible, but mostly because Holden's sarcasm and snappy retorts reminded her of Remus. She could hardly put the book down, thankful that Lily had them on such a strict schedule, or she would have surely fallen behind on all of her work.
The staircase she had just stepped off of scraped against the stone as it began it's shift to the other wall and she let out a relieved sigh, hurrying up the last one before it too got any ideas. Just as she reached Gryffindor tower, the portrait hole slammed loudly, the Fat Lady huffing, calling after the tall boy sauntering towards Charlotte, eyes narrowed at the floor.
"Remus!" She smiled, reaching for the small book from her bag sitting on her hip. "I'm glad I found you! I finished it." She held it out towards him, his eyes flickering to hers quickly before landing on her hands, sliding the book from her grip with a short nod.
"Thanks." He muttered, starting again towards the stairs that she had just come up.
"It was really good, I couldn't put it down." She rambled on, turning to face him as he slowed to let her speak, his shoulders falling slightly in an inaudible sigh. "And, um... Well, I just wanted to thank you too, for not getting Sirius and I into trouble last night. I mean, I didn't think Lily would honestly care, but Sirius was sure-"
"S'fine, Charlotte." He snapped, turning over the book in his hands and pausing before he reached the stairs again. "I've been thinking, actually. I think you're all caught up in Transfiguration. Probably won't need to meet up anymore, right?"
His brown eyes were dark, although it could have been the lack of light, the lamps in the stairwells were so high up. She bit onto the inside of her cheek, nodding at once.
"Yeah, of course, Remus. Thank you, I know I've taken up a lot of your weekends-"
"Yeah. I'll see ya around." He mumbled, giving her one last nod and officially starting down the stairs. Charlotte took a few backwards steps, reaching the doorway to the common room before she turned back around.
"Shrivelfig." She said softly, the portrait swinging open, laughter enveloping her at once as she hurried towards the stairs.
"Blondie!" Sirius grinned from their usual couch, Peter and James on either side and an empty armchair that she assumed Remus must have occupied ten minutes before. "What took you so long? It'll be dinner soon."
"Places to be, people to see, Siri." She mumbled, plastering on a smile for him as she neared the stairway to the dorms. "I'll be down in a bit, just have to-"
"Are you al-"
She didn't wait for him to finish, rushing up the steps two at a time until she reached her dorm, the door bashing against the wall before it swung closed and Lily's gasp caught her attention. She was sat on her bed, a large pile of papers surrounding her, three books open over every edge of the mattress.
"Godric, you scared me." Lily let out a breathy laugh. "Are they all still down there shouting... Hey, what's wrong?" Her voice grew soft, sliding a book out of her path and rushing toward her friend.
"I don't know." Charlotte huffed, flopping back on her bed and staring up at the top of the bed frame. "It's nothing. I'm being stupid."
"Probably." Lily teased, pulling her legs up beneath her on Charlotte's mattress, staring down at the blonde beside her. "You could still tell me though."
Charlotte paused, letting out a sigh and sitting back up to face her roommate.
"I think he hates me." She blurted, clarifying when Lily looked confused. "Remus."
"Remus doesn't hate anyone." She protested, "Why do you think he hates you?"
Charlotte picked a few times at a jagged piece on her nail, considering her answer. She wasn't sure what she and Remus were. A week ago she would have said friends. After he had yelled at her? After loaning her the book and apologizing? Or now, after canceling their study sessions, agreeing when she had apologized for taking up so many of his Sunday nights.
"He's just shy, Charlotte. I don't think he's ever had a girlfriend, he probably just doesn't know how to act-"
"Well he definitely doesn't think of me as a girlfriend. I don't think he even wants to think of me as a friend."
Lily's eyebrows drew together in absolute confusion, and Charlotte knew why. Remus was Lily's favorite out of the group of boys gathered downstairs. They studied together and partnered together in classes and had prefect meetings together. Lily and Remus were friends.
"What are you not telling me? Do you guys not get along?" She asked, quieter now, her fingers reaching out to rest on Charlotte's shoulder.
"I lied... the other day, after Defense Against the Dark Arts, I did find Remus. And I asked how he was and if he needed anything and he told me to leave him alone for one god damn day."
Lily's eyes were wide, shock painted on her face as she started to open her mouth, but Charlotte pushed on.
"But then he came to study Sunday. I didn't think he would. And he came in and he brought me Catcher in the Rye, because one of our first nights back he was reading it and I mentioned that I hadn't read it..." Lily nodded, looking so encouraging, Charlotte had to blink a few threatening tears beginning to pool under her eyes. "And I don't know... I told myself that he was sick the other day and he snapped, but that he really cared... because he remembered the book. So I raced through it, have you read it? It's really good-"
"Charlotte," Lily shot her a pointed look, clearly more interested in the subject at hand than an old book from forty years ago.
"So I finished it earlier, and I ran into Remus downstairs... just outside of the common room and I gave it back and..." She skipped over the part about thanking him for covering for her and Sirius from Lily. "He just abruptly said that I was all caught up with transfiguration and that we didn't need to meet up anymore. And I was disappointed, but I understood, and I kind of agree. So I thanked him for helping me and I said sorry for taking up so many of his Sunday's. And he said 'Yeah.' And left."
Lily's lips pressed together into a tight line, twisting a strand of hair around one finger as she thought.
"Well, Charlotte. That wasn't all that mean. Maybe you caught him at a bad time, maybe he was just in a bad mood."
"He's always in a bad mood around me." Charlotte replied, running both hands over her forehead.
"I don't get it. I mean, he is shy, but... I thought you two would be so good together." Lily sighed. "You didn't talk about anything else? Before he ended the study dat-" She trailed off at Charlotte's glare. "The studying?"
"I mean..." She stalled, watching Lily's eyes grow wide again with interest. "Okay, well there was one thing, but it was stupid."
"You don't get to only tell me half the story!" She pushed her friend lightly, wincing as Charlotte's head knocked onto the headboard.
"Alright, well... I gave the book back and I thanked him for... steering you in the other direction last night... in the back corridor on your patrol?"
Lily's eyes clouded with confusion for two seconds, one spent remembering the event and the other questioning how Charlotte knew about it.
"How did you know... Steering me away from... You were out last night?" She grasped for words, a stern look settling onto her features.
"Well, you were gone and Mary and Marlene were sleeping like logs. I was reading Remus's stupid book and Sirius came in and said he had something to show me and I told him it was almost curfew but he said we'd be back in time... only we weren't."
"You went out after curfew with Sirius?" She exclaimed, Charlotte thankful that most of the other students were likely already downstairs for dinner.
"No." Charlotte bit back, "It was before curfew. But we went to the astronomy tower, did you know there was an aurora last night?"
"So Remus saw you two? Sneaking around in the dark after curfew?" Lily ignored her question, pressing onto more important manners. "He saw you and Sirius?"
"Yes, definitely. Then he led you the other way. Apparently they think you would have given us a detention."
"I would have." She stated, though Charlotte wasn't sure if she was kidding, "But, Charlotte, this is good news! Well, partially. Don't you see?"
"What's good news?" Charlotte thought over the last few sentences she had said.
"Of course Remus cancelled your study dates. He thinks you're with Sirius!"
Charlotte scoffed, rolling her eyes at Lily's serious expression. "No one thinks I'm with Sirius."
"They might if they had to listen to his constant flirting and then caught you both sneaking around after curfew near the Astronomy tower." She explained.
Charlotte tugged her lip through her front teeth, considering Lily's words. Remus had never shown her any interest. The nicest thing he had done for her was loan her a book and help her study so she wouldn't fail out of a class. Those were hardly enough to write a love story.
"What are you two doing up here still? We've been trying to leave for dinner, but the boys are waiting." Marlene burst through the door, startling both girls.
"Yeah, come on. Let's go get dinner, I'll survey the scene." Lily grinned now, jumping from the bed and heading towards the doorway where Marlene was waiting impatiently.
"You both go ahead, I'll catch up in a bit."
Lily shot her one last concerned glance, while Marlene was already down the first ten steps, apparently starving.
Charlotte waited for their footsteps to disappear from the stairwell, sinking back onto her bed and glancing towards the window. It was getting dark so much earlier now, the sun practically hidden behind the forbidden forest. She could see small black shadows of owls swooping low in the distance. She let herself sit for a while before finally getting up, fixing her sweater and pulling the bedroom door shut behind her. She would have to face Remus eventually. And Lily was right, he hadn't even been that mean. He hadn't been mean at all. They would eventually have to stop studying together. It made sense that he didn't find it as enjoyable as she did.
"About time." She could hear the grin through Sirius's words before she even looked up.
"What are you still doing here?" She asked as the dark haired boy climbed to his feet, joining her at once as they pushed through the portrait hole together, the hallways empty as they made their way down to the Great Hall.
"Someone's gotta make sure you get to dinner alright." He shrugged and she let herself laugh, feeling a bit guilty now for keeping him waiting. "Are you avoiding me?" Sirius asked, his voice suddenly somber.
"What?" Her eyes shot to his, feeling a slight lurch in her stomach as he watched her face so carefully, hurt lingering behind his small smile. "Course not, why would I be avoiding you?"
"After last night." He started, slowly. The doors to the Great Hall were in sight now, only a few more steps. "Because... that didn't... I mean, it wasn't anything-"
"I had fun last night." She shook her head, reaching out for the door handle before his fingers surrounded it, pulling it open and nodding her through first. "Aside from you attacking me in the shadows and nearly getting us detention, in your opinion." She joked, relief flooding her stomach as Sirius's familiar smile returned.
"Godric, you two. Get stuck by a train on your way down?" James grinned, raising his eyebrows at Sirius who shook his head, dropping into the empty seat beside Remus and running his tongue along his back teeth as he helped himself to dinner.
Lily locked eyes with Charlotte, offering her a very 'I-told-you-so' look and jerking her head once towards Remus who was shoveling food into his mouth through a prevalent scowl.
For half a second, Charlotte allowed herself to consider that Lily could be right. Maybe it was Sirius.
☾
Charlotte dipped her quill back into the inkwell, scanning over the last few paragraphs. She was doing well. Well enough. It made sense, what they had gone over in class and what she had on the paper. That had to stand for something.
She glanced into the textbook again, reading the final paragraph once more before continuing onto the next chapter. Maybe Remus had been right. She didn't need the Sunday night study sessions.
Yet, here she was all the same. At the table beside the one they used to sit at. All alone. Only part of her had hoped he might show up. That he might have regretted it, missing their Sunday night routine. She finally accepted that he wouldn't be coming once the large clock against the wall chimed, signaling the new hour.
She reached for her quill once more before, with a light thud, a large mug of milky coffee was dropped onto the table beside her. She dropped the quill back into the well and looked up to the grinning face before her, gray eyes sparkling as he sipped on his own drink.
"How did you get this in here?" Charlotte smiled, taking a sip and sighing as the warmth from the mug spread into her fingertips.
"Pince is stocking in the back." The tall boy shrugged, dropping into the seat opposite hers.
"I didn't know you knew where the library was, Black." She teased through another sip, welcoming not only the warmth, but the caffeine. It wasn't all that late, but she felt drained already.
"Very funny, blondie." He sneered, playfully, setting his drink to the table and glancing over at her work. "You doing alright?"
She ran her tongue over her lips slowly, tapping the excess ink from her quill and starting her next sentence. She wasn't sure if he was asking about the studying, her day in general, or about the lack of a study partner.
"I'm good. How're you?" She returned, watching as he drained the last of his mug.
"Well, on the one hand, I'm in the library. On the other, I'm talking to a very pretty girl." He grinned as her eyes flicked up to his, shaking her head, hoping the shadows over her face would cover the flush. "I just... I saw Remus in the common room. Thought Sunday nights were your thing?"
She hummed and shrugged, finishing the next paragraph. Maybe she wouldn't get as high of a score as Remus would have, but it was accurate and coherent, and that was all she could ask for.
"I cut him loose." Charlotte teased, scratching the edge of her eyebrow as she looked towards the dark haired boy.
"You asked him to stop studying with you?" Sirius confirmed, eyebrows drawn.
"No!" She clarified. "He just said he thought I was all caught up, and I am. And I'm sure he'd like his Sunday nights back-"
"Oh, yeah. Lot of good they're doing him, he's upstairs with his nose in a history book." Sirius scoffed. Charlotte's stomach sank for only a second. Remus was upstairs studying by himself. Sirius leaned his head on his palm, his eyes following her quill as she wrote. "So, he ended them, then?"
Charlotte shook her head a few times in confusion, finishing the last sentence of her essay and scrawling her name at the top, pushing it aside to let the ink dry.
"What are you asking, Sirius?" She answered, finally.
"Just if you need someone to study with you." He stated, eyeing the rest of her coffee which she pulled from his reach, taking a large gulp.
"You don't study." She pointed out.
"I could start." He cocked his head to one side. "They'll have to make a new letter grade for me at this rate. A, E, O, S."
"Don't say-"
"For Sirius work only." He grinned, both of them biting back laughter, knowing they were in for a screaming fit and matching detentions if Madam Pince caught them with coffee in the library.
☾
December was around the corner. While usually that meant excitement, a break approaching, Christmas, seeing family. This year it meant another severe upturn in coursework and the promise of harder material when classes resumed. Still, as the snow finally stuck to the frozen ground, no one could ignore the feeling. Christmas was in the air.
Their final Hogsmeade trip was in three days time, and Charlotte, Lily and Mary had already listed out every gift and recipient they would need to buy for that day, while Marlene had called them fools, insisting that she never bought anyone presents, she only received them. Mary had called her bluff, pulling out the vinyl Marlene had forced her owl to carry cross country for her just last year.
"Are you getting Remus something?" Lily asked, the two of them on their way back to the common room after a longer than average detour to the library, in which Lily spent twenty minutes debating if she would need Numerology and Grammatica's latest edition or if the one in her dorm room would suffice. Charlotte had finally managed to pull her friend from the library by reminding her that if she did end up needing it, she could always come back down.
"No." Charlotte shot her a glare. "Are you?"
"Probably, though I haven't a clue what. Maybe I'll get him a muggle book, he seems to like those."
Charlotte hummed in agreement. Remus probably would like that, though she wasn't sure what he had already read. And she wasn't getting him a gift. She wasn't.
"Are you getting James something too then?" Charlotte asked, a smile spreading across her face, turning towards the red head when she didn't respond, a far away look behind her green eyes. "Lil?"
"I'm sorry, Char... I am going to get Numerology and Grammatica, because... if I need it and I'm already upstairs, the library will be closed and-"
"Isn't it due next week? You were only just assigned it!" Charlotte bit back a laugh as Lily nodded, stepping backwards down the hall.
"I'll be right behind you! You can come if you want!" She grinned, knowingly and Charlotte shook her head.
"I know what a few minutes in the library means to you, I'll see you upstairs." The blonde offered her friend a wave goodbye, though she was already hurrying back down the corridor. Charlotte continued, climbing the final staircase alone and pausing outside of the portrait hole to mutter the password.
"-even come up after dinner? I didn't see her."
"Taken up stalking, have you, Pads?" Peter chuckled, moving his next chess piece across from James.
"Not like we made a map for this exact issue." Remus muttered beneath his breath, Charlotte pausing in the doorway, propping the portrait open with one hand. They had made a map?
"Think she went down with Lily to the library. Heard them say it on their way out of dinner." James replied, easily, moving his own piece towards Peter who grinned, James groaning when he saw Peter reach over the board.
"What does it matter, anyway?" Remus scowled from behind his book, Charlotte hung on every word.
"What does what matter, anyway?" Sirius sat up taller in his seat, raising his eyes at the tallest Marauder.
"Where she is? She's bloody always around now. Can't go five minutes without hearing her voice."
"Oh, come on Moony." James shot Remus an incredulous look.
"What the fuck is wrong with you lately? Quit being such a prick." Sirius cut in, glaring at the boy beside him.
Charlotte jumped, her hand had slipped from it's place on the portrait and the door slammed behind her, though she wasn't sure she even heard it over the thumping in her ears. It wasn't until the four boys turned, all eyes locked on her, jaws dropped. Sirius was already up from his seat, Remus had lowered his book into his lap, his scowl gone now, though he was watching her as if she was a stranger.
She spun around, her fingers shaking as she pushed back through the doorway and stumbled over the step. "For fucks sake, Moony!" James' words carried through the doorway before it slammed shut again, Charlotte sprinting down the steps, flinging around the corner and pausing before an empty classroom, letting herself in and sinking to the floor, finally noting the tears leaking down her face.
There was no denying it now. He did hate her. He had been nice, and kind, and helpful. He had saved her life, laughed with her and shared his books and she had assumed they were friends. But they weren't. Far from it.
"Charlotte?" She squeezed her eyes shut at the voice, cupping her hand over her mouth as she sobbed, praying he would walk past.
But the door handle clicked and she heard his footsteps, the heels of his boots dragging against the stone floor before he stopped in front of her. She opened her eyes, blinking furiously, refusing to look up. His black boots were tied so loosely, she wondered how he hadn't tripped on his way down.
"Hey," He whispered, crouching before her. Neither of them had flicked on any lights, but she could still see him, his face painted with worry, jaw clenched, features nearly hidden behind the shadows from his dark hair.
"Sirius... It's okay. I just... Can I just be alone?" She whispered, running the pad of her thumb under each eye before he sank down along the wall beside her.
"Nope, sorry, blondie." He shrugged, as if he had no choice but to stay with her. "You're stuck with me."
Neither of them spoke for a few moments, the silence of the empty classroom engulfed the pair as Sirius snuck a side glance to the blonde, his stomach dropping as he watched the silent tears drip down her cheeks, her knees tucked tightly against her chest.
"I guess I should have sent James. I'm not so good at this." He whispered, his eyes jerking back to her face as she sputtered out a laugh, wiping her eye with the back of her finger again. Sirius turned in his spot, facing her now and grabbing for the hand closest to him. Her fingers still wet with tears as he tangled his own against them, looking into the deep blue of her eyes. Hating Remus more by the second as he watched her try to blink new tears away.
"It's okay." She whispered, nodding a few times before letting her head fall against the wall behind them.
"I don't know what's wrong with him." Sirius spoke, tracing small circles against the back of her hand in his. "But promise you won't stop coming around?"
She offered him a small smile which he didn't fall for.
"He hates me." She breathed out, fingers reaching up to stroke along the now fading scars from the doxy bites.
"He doesn't." He shook his head, though she wasn't looking. "He couldn't. He's just moody. And he's an asshole."
She used her free hand to rub the bottom of her nose with a sniffle.
"Why do you let it bother you so much?" He asked, leaning closer towards her on the wall, the chill eating through his sweater, though he didn't mind. From here, he could smell her shampoo if he let himself. Fruity and sweet.
"Let what bother me?" She turned, flinching when she realized how close his face was to hers.
"Remus. Why do you care what he says about you?"
He watched her take in a deep breath, blowing it out into her lap slowly. She didn't look at him while she answered.
"I just thought he was my friend."
"That's it?" Sirius didn't want to know the answer. He really, truly didn't. But that didn't stop the rush of relief that flooded his stomach when she shrugged and nodded.
"It's okay, though." She said, sounding like she was trying to convince herself rather than him.
"It will be." He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, biting back a smile when she let herself be pulled into his chest. "Once I beat the shit out of him."
She laughed again, and Sirius thought he might like to hear it for the rest of his life, resting his chin against the top of her head.
"We'll stay here a bit, yeah? They'll go up to bed soon." He breathed, watching her hair flutter beneath him as he spoke, her head nodding into his chest.