Michaela's journal #2

By Daughter_of_Apollo52

1K 148 3

A journey of healing More

should be
would anyone care
friends
spiral
need
this again
it's your fault
wait
plan
little talks
none of my business
don't think
why does this happen so much
when all you wanted was to be wanted
tu me manques
how does this work
where we went wrong
let me off this rollercoaster
small update
fifteen
i want to stay
research
unsure
i'm so sorry
how can you say that
you shouldn't
heavy
cooking
:\
break
falling
...
i'm going to kill myself
dear eleanor
Boston
i swear
right where you left me
tell me what to change
yeah
be better
pick one
i don't understand
why won't you talk to me
fresh start
talia
not that easy
maybe there's a reason
dear gods
how can you think i'm okay
fix this
how
i can't sleep
you promised
i dyed my hair
risk
oh my gods
stop
well
hypocrite
the world doesn't revolve around you
belong
star wars
dear eleanor
make a decision
don't get it
flashback
it's not that simple
this isn't funny
cupcakes
they say these are the golden years
slip-ups
if you loved me
overload
planned out
Mother's Day
hmm
last chance
this is life before you know who you're supposed to be
secret
five seven five
another secret
good day
romeo and juliet (hopefully without the gruesome death)
12 am thoughts
what to do
i'm about to lose it
and then
so many feelings
what are you waiting for
why can't we be happy
special
parents
tbh
i'm not a therapist
why does everyone want a baby???
sorry
drained
control
i can't fix this
is it really that big a deal
have hope
healer
missing
i want to help
an ideal day
horrible
olympics
why would anyone want to watch the world burn?
inside out
i'll be the first
god
how could you do that
get away
love love love
worry about everything
dear austin
better than anyone
why won't they listen
we'll become strangers sooner or later
double standard
one day
no answers
three days
the only thing i did right
help
UGHHHH
day 0
i'm so tired of this
too good to be true
not up to me
i mean it
august
the incident
not yet
easier
so much for my self-esteem
clean
here we go again
nudge
a thought that's been in my mind ever since she told me she liked me
:(
too much
why can't we just be happy?
sigh
thinking
intrusive thoughts
life is pretty good (except for geometry)
a real girl
fears
act two
fall
cycles
what i've learned about healing
ballerina
my birthday
puzzle
violence violence murder murder stabby stabby death death
leave a mark
mood swings
single minute
three months
things i want to do in 2024
mad woman
???
end of story
body dysmorphia
:/
dwelling
thoughts
and thats how i know we need to break up
dear eleanor
don't know if i miss you or just the way you made me feel
bpd
thinking again
hate
my childhood

can't change it

6 1 0
By Daughter_of_Apollo52

So Livi tries to kill herself. Again. How many times is this now? I don't know. I know she's only doing it for attention, and that makes me so mad. I wish she was dead. So I'm a horrible person. I'm the worst person ever. Fine. But it's true and I can't change that. I want her to kill herself and reincarnate and then I want to never hear her name again as long as I live. Which probably won't be very much longer if that happens. And I don't care. I just want her gone. I want to stop worrying. I want her to stop making Eleanor feel bad. I know not all of what I feel is justified but I think at least some of it is. I only wonder how much.

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