"You should've told us beforehand, we could've prepared a feast for you, Ryujin-ah."
Ryujin came home for a surprise visit after deciding to take a couple of weeks off from work.
"And where's Isa? She's not with you?"
Her Mom heard about Isa coming home on their recent catch up a week before the latter's arrival. She has been asking about her since.
"Well... she had to go back to the UK for another project. She said she was sorry for not being able to come and say goodbye."
"Another one? She's only been here for a month."
Ryujin was itching to tell her Mom everything, but kept her mouth shut.
"Yeah, it was urgent. And she'll only be gone for a couple of months this time. She'd be back in no time."
"Well that's good. Don't want her to be away for too long again."
Ryujin could only nod.
After some slight pleading, the brunette was able to convince her Mom to go on a full day trip to the nearby farm.
They packed some food, water and an extra set of clothes before leaving.
Ryujin immediately jumped out of the truck once they got to the place - the long field of greens and the fresh air greeting her. The farm animals wander freely.
She spread her arms, closed her eyes, and basked in the peace that they brought. Despite it being temporary, she's thankful that she'd get to spend a day without worries. She missed being a kid.
Her Mom came to her side soon after, smiling at her as she watched her kid appreciate the view. She could go to the ends of the earth to hide it, but her Mom would sense that something's not right from miles away. The older woman let her be, at least for now.
The brunette opened her eyes and grinned widely as she pulled her Mom to run towards the gazebo where they planned on having their picnic.
Variety of food was spread out on the table as Ryujin put out her mini speaker to play some music.
"This is really nice, Eomma. Thank you for coming with me."
"Of course. We haven't been here since you were a kid." The older woman caressed Ryunin's cheek as the latter took a bite of the watermelon.
They then proceeded to talk about Ryujin's work, how she has been selling out all the slots for the last six exhibits; how she's gaining a lot more presence in the new generation of collectors and how she's getting more demand on portraits; the house, Lia and some details on Isa's return.
"You've grown up a lot. And I'm proud of everything that you've achieved." Her Mom was staring lovingly at her.
That statement made the brunette's eyes teary.
"I'm not sure if I'm proud of myself right now, Eomma." Ryujin admitted.
"I-I hurt someone and gave other people a hard time because of it. I couldn't decide on what to do and I was afraid that I might cause a lot more harm."
She rested her head on her Mom's shoulder.
"I still am afraid, Eomma. And I still don't know what to do."
The older woman sighed.
"I always tease your father that you grew up a lot like me. But in truth, you turned out a lot like him - smart, strategic, and always thinking about practicality. But one thing that you got from me, Ryujin-ah, is that you always make sure to look after the ones that you love."
The brunette looked up.
"But don't forget to take care of yourself, too, alright? We make mistakes. We troubleshoot. And we try again. What's important is that we stay true to what we want, and what makes us happy. So whatever this is that you're confused about, I know you'll figure it out soon."
Her Mom held her cheeks in both hands and smiled at her.
"You're a good person. Don't forget that, okay?"
Ryujin could only nod.
The rest of the day was spent with them checking out the animals in the barn, exchanging stories in between the walks, and even tried fruit picking as suggested by the farm's caretaker.
When afternoon struck, the truck had been filled with all kinds of fruits from their harvest. They decided to drive back home soon after.
She stayed for several more days and had a wonderful time visiting old places where she grew up, eating her favorite local snacks with her Mom, helping out in the shop with her Dad.
By the time she's boarding the train back to Seoul, Ryujin's heart felt a little lighter.
*
"You better get a better sleep schedule once you're back home. You barely slept the whole time you're here."
Aeri was chuckling towards Yeji as the latter yawned the hours of waiting for her flight back to New York. On her left side, Chaeryeong was sitting comfortably as she continued to fiddle with her phone.
"You need to adjust to the timezone again, too." The redhead agreed.
"Yeah yeah. I'll miss the two of you, but my bike has been waiting for me and I can't wait to visit my spot again."
It's been 2 weeks since the last encounter with Ryujin at her porch. She never saw or heard from her again, not that it's not inevitable or something. She heard that she went home to her hometown to rest.
Was her girlfriend with her? Her parents must like her a lot.
She thought to herself.
Seeing them at the airport brought her pain that she didn't know she'd feel. She has been terrified of flying back with the fear of feeling foreign in her own country.
She didn't.
Instead, she was greeted by something more painful.
After years of successfully falling into the same routine she lived with before Ryujin, she thought she'd be more than okay to see her. She has remastered the art of detachment, after all.
She barely even met people while in NY. Rather, she learned a lot of healthy habits, spent more time reading, exploring vinyl and coffee shops, and enjoying the peace that alone time brings.
But the moment she saw her again, all the progress she made had gone to dust.
She still takes the biggest space. And Yeji hates herself for it.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the boarding announcement.
Chaeryeong fidgets in her seat as the cat eye starts to gather her things to line up.
"Wait. Can you line up last? I gotta run to the bathroom real quick."
Aeri didn't wait for her answer and started running towards the bathroom.
The cat eye stared at her best friend in confusion, moved her gaze towards Chaeryeong who was looking anxious, too.
"That was... weird. Are you okay, Yeongie?" Yeji sat back beside the redhead to check on her. She saw the latter's eyes lingering towards her phone, but said nothing.
"I'm just a little sad that you're leaving again." She gave the cat eye a soft smile.
Being in the airport with Chaeryeong brought a lot of different feelings. Yeji couldn't help but recall the scene from eight years ago when she had to leave. They were so young and full of hope – promising each other that they'd be in touch and that they'd both wait for her to finish school and return back to Korea.
Waiting for a certain brunette to come and say goodbye, and crying her eyes out during the whole flight because she didn't show up.
Allowing herself to be carried away by the motions of life; stopped communicating with old friends, built a new life in New York, buried down the recurring feeling of wanting to go back.
They have come a long way, and Yeji didn't think that Chaeryeong would be waiting for her.
But she did. And she's here, at the same place and same situation of sending her best friend off. Again.
"Well I'm coming back, Yeongie. Just a couple of months so I could fix everything back in NY and then I'll be flying back. So don't give me those sad eyes because I'll also cry when you start crying."
Chaeryeong held back her tears, nodded, and muttered a small "okay".
Yeji moved closer to embrace her. "I won't go anywhere again. This time, you'll never gonna get rid of me."
The other girl chuckled against her shoulder.
After a couple of minutes, Aeri came back from the comfort room and nodded assuringly towards Chaeryeong.
"Hey, I wanna say my goodbye, too."
Yeji looked back at her and grinned.
"Have fun in Japan, yeah? I'll see you in several months. Wherever you are in the world, I'll come see you." Aeri hugged her tight and nodded. But before she let go of the hug, she whispered something in Yeji's ear that made the latter's eyes furrowed in confusion.
"Someone else is here to say goodbye, too."
Yeji turned around and saw Ryujin standing awkwardly a few feet from her - all sweaty and underdressed.
She paused, not knowing what to do.
The brunette took a step towards her and expressed a timid smile.
She blinked a few times to make sure that she's not seeing things.
She got her confirmation when the brunette started speaking.
She's really here. But why?
"Sorry, I didn't have enough time to dress up. And I ran all the way here when I heard the boarding announcement."
It was their first actual conversation for years - despite bumping into each other a couple of times for the past month.
"H-hi." Yeji finally greeted and met the brunette halfway.
"I don't want any trouble." The brunette started.
"I just thought I'd let you go more peacefully this time. Chaeryeong told me that you're moving back here, too."
"For most days, yes. I'd still fly out to the West for business and all. But... thank you."
"For being here. I thought you'd hate me forever." The cat eye admitted.
"Well, I still kinda do." Ryujin smiled sheepishly. "But it's been a long time."
And I missed you. She thought but didn't say.
"And I think it'd be good to talk. You know. Be friends."
Yeji was surprised but agreed anyway.
"Yeah, I-I think we can do that."
She agreed despite knowing that she's setting her up for heartbreak. She knew that she's not ready to give up that space in her heart for Ryujin - even if it meant that she needs to allow it to hurt until it doesn't.
Not long after, Yeji found herself in her seat inside the plane – waiting for take off.