Much to Rosie's dismay, the chaos that ensued only became even more chaotic in the following days. A huge herd- a herd larger than any of them had ever seen before- was gathered and being held in one place by nothing but trucks. Those trucks weren't going to last, and they knew that. Once those walkers broke through those trucks, they were going straight for Alexandria. Rick, being the natural leader he was, devised a plan. The plan consisted of many different groups working together to lead the herd away from Alexandria. What Rosie didn't like about the plan was that she wasn't allowed to help, and, of course, that almost all of her people were going to be at risk. She knew they could take care of themselves, though, so she tried not to dwell on it.
Another new thing going on in Alexandria was that Rick was making the decisions. Deanna was still in charge, but Rick very obviously had her ear, and he was making a lot of new rules and decisions. One of those decisions, which Rosie very much liked, was that Daryl no longer had to go out and find new recruits with Aaron. In fact, no one was going out to find new recruits. Daryl thought differently about the idea of keeping the gates closed, but he didn't argue. His recruiter job was short-lived, but Rick wasn't shy to give him to things to do- like leading a huge herd of walkers away all alone on his bike. This wasn't much better, in Rosie's opinion.
Turned out, while Daryl and Aaron were gone, they almost died. But the new man that Rosie had never met before- who she learned was named Morgan- appeared out of nowhere and saved them because all life is precious, apparently. Rosie wasn't sure how much she agreed with that, but she didn't argue, because she didn't even know the guy.
One sort of good thing that came out of the death of Pete Anderson was that Sam Anderson suddenly wouldn't leave his house. Part of Rosie thought that she ought to feel bad for him and all, because Pete was his dad, but she still thought he was annoying. She could understand what he was feeling. The confusion- should I be happy or should I be sad? Rosie thought back to how she felt after she found her dad as a walker in the woods outside the Atlanta camp. She was devastated. She didn't eat or sleep for awhile, and then she almost ran away. If she would've succeeded in running away, she probably wouldn't still be alive. Her emotions were running wild, because she didn't know what to do with herself and her dad was dead.
Now Rosie couldn't even understand why she loved her dad so much. She only remembered being afraid of him. She guessed it was because she didn't know. But now she knew, and she hated her dad. Now Rosie wasn't even sure if she ever loved her dad. Her thoughts and knowledge on what love was and what love was like was skewed and messed up in her head. She tried to think about it sometimes. Who do I love? She figured she probably loved Fraser, because he was good to her and he loved her. She didn't know if she was supposed to love her new family, but she was pretty sure she did. Daryl, Judith, Maggie, Carl, Rick, Glenn- all of them. She was pretty sure she loved them, but she didn't know. She wasn't really sure of it, so she decided she better just keep those thoughts to herself.
Sam must've been confused, too. Maybe he hated Rick, or maybe he hated Deanna, or maybe he hated his dad. Maybe he was just sad. Maybe he was just afraid. Maybe he was all of those things. Rosie didn't know what to do about it, because she thought that maybe she could tell him that she understood, and that she was confused when her dad died, too. But at the same time, she didn't like Sam, and Sam didn't like her. Rosie had told Carl that she thought she should maybe talk to Sam, and Carl told her only to do it if she was sure that she could be nice the whole time. So, Rosie didn't do it. She wasn't sure if she could be nice to him the whole time.
Liam was back to his assholery. Rosie hadn't been to school since the whole thing with Pete and Rick, because there were more important things- like a huge herd of walkers. Sam obviously wasn't going, so why should Rosie have to? The answer was simple: she didn't have to. So she didn't. Not going to school didn't mean that Liam would leave her alone, though. He didn't even thank her for saving his life, and he definitely didn't stop asking his annoying questions. Sometimes he'd even bring up stuff about before- stuff that he knew would bother her. Rosie hated him. She asked Daryl if she could punch Liam, and he said that she could only punch him if he tried to hurt her first. Now Rosie wished that Liam would punch her, just so she could punch him back.
The Morgan guy seemed pretty cool, in Rosie's opinion. Aside from the fact that he thought- for whatever reason- that all life is precious. Rosie didn't think her dad's life was precious. Or the Governor's life. Or the Claimers' lives. But she didn't like talking about those things, so she kept those thoughts to herself. The cool thing about Morgan was that he had a stick, and he used it like a superhero- at least, that's what Rosie thought. He swung it around like some sort of ninja, and Rosie thought it was awesome. He also knew Rick, somehow.
It was surprising how willing the people of Alexandria were to listen to Rick. They were doing it reluctantly, but they were still doing it. Deanna made them. Some people were more mistrusting than others, but they all did their jobs, nevertheless. Rosie was nervous about it. They didn't know what they were doing. Something was bound to go wrong. She wished that she could help. She knew what to do and how important it was. But she was a kid, and that meant that she was apparently incapable.
"I'm not a baby. I can help," Rosie had told Rick, following behind him and Michonne as they walked to Deanna's house.
"I know you're not a baby, but I want you here anyway," Rick responded.
Rosie huffed in complaint. "I'm actually helpful out there," she said.
"You're helpful in here, too," Rick told her. Rosie rolled her eyes. She didn't think that that was really true.
"We're taking some of our strongest people with us out there. We want you here, in case anything goes wrong. You can help here," Michonne added. Rosie knew that Michonne was just saying that so she'd feel better about staying behind. That's what the adults always said. I need you here, in case something goes wrong here. But nothing ever went wrong here. They just wanted her out of the way of danger. She could understand why; they cared. But it was still annoying.
"What if Daryl says I can go? Then can I?" Rosie tried, making her eyes extra wide to try and do her trick. It didn't seem to be working on Michonne, but Rosie couldn't quite tell whether or not it was working on Rick.
"Daryl would say no, but even if he did say yes, we'd still say no," Michonne said.
"Fine. But you gotta start lettin' me help with stuff. 'Cause I'm not weak," Rosie reminded them, crossing her arms.
"We know you're not weak. But Judith is, and we want you here with her," Rick said, giving Rosie a serious look. Rosie nodded. Ok, she thought to herself, protect Judith. Judith was the most important thing. "You can help us set up. But when we leave, you're staying here."
So, that's what Rosie did. Rosie did as much as she could to help them set up. She wanted to be helpful, and if setting up was the only way she could do that, then she'd do it. When they were setting up the walls for the curve, Rosie was there, doing as much as she could to help. When Carol needed help making lemonade- for whatever reason she was making lemonade for- Rosie helped her make lemonade.
However, Rosie's favorite part of helping was when Daryl was tuning up his bike to lead the walkers away, and Rosie got to help. She wished that he'd let her ride the motorcycle with him, but he never let her. Every time she asked, the answer was no.
"Hey, Daryl?" Rosie said, her chin in her hands as she sat on the curb next to him.
"Hm?" Daryl hummed in a questioning tone, keeping his focus on his motorcycle.
"Do you think I can have my gun back yet?" Rosie asked. Rick made them understand. At least, he made Deanna understand. So maybe she was allowed to have a gun now, right? Because it was safer?
"Don't know. Depends on what Deanna says," Daryl responded. He trusted Rosie with a gun, but Deanna was in charge, and they needed Deanna's trust. "Hand me that allen wrench."
Rosie turned to her left, looking over the set of allen wrenches. There were big ones and there were small ones. He didn't specify which size. "Which one?" Rosie asked.
"Four," Daryl said. Rosie nodded and picked out the allen wrench labeled number four, before passing it over to him. He took it and did whatever he had to do with it. Rosie couldn't tell. It just looked like a bunch of pipes and other metal things stuck together to her, but at least she knew the names of each tool. That was one way she could help. "You talk to Rick about it?" Daryl asked.
"Last time I asked Rick for my gun back he said to ask you," Rosie recalled. Daryl handed her back the allen wrench and she slid it back into the slot labeled number four.
"What, back at the farm? That was, like, two years ago, Rosie," Daryl responded with a scoff. He reached his hand out again. "Two point five."
"Well, now you're even more in charge of me than ya were back then," Rosie pointed out as she pulled the 2.5 allen wrench out of its slot and handed it over to Daryl. He poked it somewhere on the motorcycle then handed it back. It must not have fit.
"Three," Daryl corrected himself. Rosie put the 2.5 back into its slot and handed him the one labeled number three this time. "You're obviously responsible enough for a gun. But Deanna's in charge, and Rick has her ear. Talk to him 'bout it," Daryl continued. He handed back the allen wrench and Rosie put it back into its spot.
"Do you think I should talk to Sam?" was Rosie's next question.
"Who's Sam?" Daryl asked, scrunching his face up a little.
"I stole his stuff, 'member? I don't like him. But he was Pete's kid. And his daddy was a lot like my daddy, I think. I thought maybe I'd know a little bit how he feels," Rosie said, shrugging her shoulders a little. She still wasn't sure if seeing Sam would just make him mad or not.
"You think you could help him?" Daryl asked, looking back at her for a moment. Rosie shrugged. She didn't really know if whatever she had to say would help Sam. She only hoped that it would. "If you think you'd help, then go ahead. Do you know how ya feel 'bout your dad, though?" Daryl asked her.
"Yeah," Rosie said, as if it were obvious. Of course she knew. "Hate him. He was bad."
"That how you felt right after he died?" Daryl asked her.
"No," Rosie answered.
"Then it's prob'ly not what Sam's feelin'. I'd say give him time. Your call, though," Daryl said. He turned back to his bike. "Lemme see those pliers."
Rosie pulled the pliers from the black pouch they were kept in and placed them in Daryl's hand. Apparently, he'd gotten all these tools, along with the motorcycle itself, from Aaron. Aaron had been collecting parts, and Daryl was the only one who knew what to do with them, so Daryl got the bike. "Hey, Daryl?" Rosie said again, flipping all of the allen wrenches so that they were all facing the same way.
"Hm?" Daryl hummed again.
"Were you confused when your daddy died?" Rosie asked him. She thought about what Merle told her- about the hunting trip with their Uncle Jess, about how Daryl couldn't kill their daddy after his stomach got all torn up. She'd never brought it up to him before. She never even thought to. "You were, right? 'Cause he was bad to you, but ya still couldn't shoot him?"
Daryl turned to her, his eyebrows pinched together. "How the hell you know 'bout that?" he asked.
Now Rosie's eyebrows pinched together, too. "Merle told me," she said. She thought Daryl knew that Merle told her that. As far she knew, Merle told him everything.
"When?" Daryl asked.
"In Atlanta. After my daddy died. He was tryin' to make me feel better, I think," Rosie explained, confused as to why Daryl didn't know. Daryl stared at her for a second, thinking about Merle. He was an asshole, but for whatever reason, he decided to help Rosie. It never made sense, but now it made even less sense. He told her about their shitty dad? It was out of character for him. "Why? That... bad? Or somethin'?" Rosie mumbled.
"Nah," Daryl answered, turning back to his bike. "Just weird.... What else he say?"
"Said you like to act all tough, but you're not really," Rosie answered, making Daryl scoff and mumble out, of course. "He was wrong, though. You're tough. Least I think so."
"Yeah," Daryl murmured, shaking his head to himself. He put his hand over his face for a moment, rubbing his eyes, then sighed. "I wasn't confused, just angry 'bout the whole thing. Used to be angry all the time. It ain't the same, though. You and Sam are just kids. I'm an adult."
"So what?" Rosie asked, almost sounding offended by the statement.
Daryl rolled his eyes. "I know you think you're just the same as any adult, but ya ain't. You just had to act like an adult when you were little, but that doesn't make you the same as one," he explained. Rosie rolled her eyes, thinking Daryl wasn't looking. "Don't roll your eyes at me. I'm right."
"Always are," Rosie huffed out, crossing her arms. She was about to bring up Liam, and ask if she could punch him if he said anything about her dad, but Maggie appeared behind them, walking down the front porch steps. "Hi, Maggie," Rosie said, looking up at her.
"Hi, Rosie," Maggie replied, smiling down at her. "Daryl, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Yeah," Daryl replied, not bothering to look up from his motorcycle. Maggie waited a moment for him to get up and follow her, but he didn't. Rosie looked between the two of them, confused. Then she elbowed Daryl and pointed up at Maggie. "Oh," Daryl mumbled out, realizing that Maggie wanted to talk away from Rosie. He got up, wiped his hands on a rag, and tossed the rag down onto Rosie's lap, making her glare up at him.
Rosie watched the two of them go up onto the porch, just far enough away that Rosie couldn't hear what they were saying. It was annoying and frustrating when people had conversations that she wasn't supposed to hear, while she was still able to see them talking. Maggie was doing most of the talking, with her arms crossed over her chest, and after a moment, Daryl looked away from her and did the thing where he rubs his hand over his face. He looked ashamed or something, but Rosie couldn't tell. Whatever conversation they were having, it seemed serious.
After another few moments, Daryl said something, then Maggie said another thing and seemed to give him some sort of sad smile. Rosie watched as she squeezed his shoulder, and then went back into the house. After that, Daryl rubbed his hand over his face again, and then came back down the porch to where Rosie was sitting on the curb. She turned back around and started playing with a pebble on the road, pretending that she wasn't ever watching at all. When Daryl reached her, he put his hand on her head for a moment before sitting down on the curb next to her. When he sat down, he sighed again.
"You remember what I said after ya ran away?" Daryl asked. Rosie shrugged. He said a lot of things. She remembered all of them, but she didn't know which one he was referring to. She also didn't know why he was bringing it up right now, anyway. "'Bout David," Daryl elaborated.
"Oh," Rosie said. You start actin' like your dad, and now ya wanna run off and get yourself killed like him, too?! Of course she remembered.
"Yeah," Daryl murmured, rubbing his chin a little. "Maggie told me you been thinkin' 'bout that. 'Bout actin' like David."
"Guess so," Rosie answered, shrugging her shoulders a little.
"You know it ain't true, though, right?" Daryl asked her. Rosie just shrugged, not really wanting to tell the truth. She did think she was a lot like her dad. It bothered her, but she didn't want to talk about it. "It ain't true. You're not like him."
"Yeah, I am," Rosie murmured, tugging on the hem of her shirt. "He's my dad. 'Course I'm like him. Not my fault, just am. I'm tryin' not to be, though."
"I ever hit you?" Daryl suddenly asked.
Rosie's eyebrows furrowed. "What?"
"I ever hit you?" Daryl asked again.
"No..." Rosie murmured.
"I ever beat you?"
"No."
"I ever get drunk and leave you alone for weeks?"
"No."
"Then I'm not like my dad, and you don't gotta be like David either," Daryl said. Rosie huffed and looked down at her shoes. He just didn't understand. "I said what I said 'cause I was pissed, and I didn't want ya to run off and get hurt. I shouldn't've said it."
"You said it 'cause you were thinkin' it. 'Cause it's true," Rosie said. He wouldn't have said it if he wasn't thinking it, and he was thinking it because it was true. She threw that rock at that window because she was mad. Her dad broke things all the time when he was mad. She was just like him.
"I was thinkin' that I didn't know where the hell you were and it scared the shit out of me. I said the first thing I could think of that'd make you start listenin' to me and start thinkin' before you did shit like runnin' away, even if it wasn't true. Guess I didn't think about how much it'd hurt ya," Daryl explained. He'd hoped that Rosie didn't take what he said about David to heart, but apparently she did, according to Maggie.
"Ok," Rosie said, hoping that he'd just leave it alone and the conversation would be over. She was like her dad, even if Daryl didn't think so. She didn't want to argue about it, so she thought that just saying ok would indicate that she heard him and it was over. It didn't.
"Damnit," Daryl mumbled to himself, pressing his face into his hands for a moment. Rosie was about to just get up and go inside, but then Daryl started talking again. "You think David would wanna help Sam? You think he'd wanna help lead them walkers away from here? You think he'd read Judith stories, or let us take shit from your house when we needed it?"
"I don't know," Rosie hummed out, looking away from him. She started picking at the ends of her shorts.
"He wouldn't. I knew him, too. May not have known him as long as you did, but I knew him long enough to know that he wouldn't do any of that. David ain't got shit to do with who you are now. So quit thinkin' he does."
"Okay," Rosie said dramatically, dragging out the kay.
"You hearin' me?" Daryl asked.
"Yes."
"You understandin' me?" Daryl asked next. Rosie furrowed her eyebrows. Usually he didn't ask that question. Usually he asked if she heard him, and then it was done with. Rosie didn't say anything. "Listen, Ro. David was an asshole, and you aren't. You're two separate people. Just like I ain't like my dad. You're not like David. You're Rosie, and that's it."
"I'm Rose and Ro, too," Rosie said, finally looking back at Daryl.
Daryl laughed a little, his frustration starting to drain from his body. "Yeah. You're Rosie, Rose, and Ro. David's name ain't anywhere on that list. Understand me?" he asked again, raising his eyebrows a little.
"Ok. I understand," Rosie, Rose, and Ro said, nodding her head a little.
Don't be like David, 'cause you ain't David. You're Rosie, Rose, and Ro, Rosie said to herself in her head.
"Good. Now hand me that allen wrench. Four."
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Managed to get a chapter out despite the pain meds that made me loopy 💪💪💪 thank you for all of your support lately !! You're all so kind and your comments help motivate me so much!!