The glare from the moon glistened on her cheek, her hair whisked across her face in the slight winter breeze. She was finally surrounded by silence, something she's wished for for a long time. She could finally hear her thoughts and clear up the things she knew she couldn't before. She now knew what it felt like to be alone in a good way.
The small fog from her breath created a ray of warmth on her chilled face. She gracefully laid on the hood of her rustic '66 red Thunderbird, her head resting on the windshield. Gazing up at the stars, she finally got to make sense of it all. She breathed one deep breath after another, finally realizing her strength. Flashbacks raced through her head of all the memories she had forgotten. Of people, of places, of feelings she could no longer remember, but wished she had. The times when she felt her happiest, the times she truly missed the most. This brought a slight smirk to her face. She realized that she let those times slip away too fast and too far away to bring back again. Her smile faded.
Still admiring the stars, she watched the sky become a navy blue. The stars twinkled, making a mesmerizing scene. The blueness in the sky slowly dwindled as the blackness emerged and seeped through, overpowering the sight of the dark midnight sky. Fog covered the sparkling moon and now the world was pitch-black. She felt the world go still, as did she. The wind whistled. The sudden noise echoed through the trees. For once in her life, she had finally found peace, comfort, and happiness.
Although this amazing night had caused her so much relief, she knew that it was late-too late to be out in the middle of nowhere. So she slowly paced herself around the car, feeling her way around it. She made out the door handle and gave it a slight pull, it creaked open. She carefully sat down in the leather driver's seat as she searched her bag for the keys. While rummaging through her smock like bag, the sound of wrinkled gas station receipts, worn grocery lists stating the essentials: bread, milk, eggs, and a single key strung proudly off a key chain hanging beside a rabbit's foot filled the air. Soon enough, she pulled out the key that reflected a single shine from the dimly lit stars hanging overhead. Placing the key into the ignition, she heard her engine roar. She began to pull out and make her way back to the main roads but then she stopped and thought to herself, 'where am I to go?'
She twisted the key and her roaring engine soften to a light hum. Throwing the car key on her lap, she threw herself forward, slamming head first on the steering wheel, she groaned. The key slid down to the floor, on the stained clear floor mat in which she scuffed her dirty shoes on. She had never felt more unwanted, never so free. This comparison confused her, she didn't understand which one she felt more of. She sighed. She stretched, reaching for her keys, the icy metal stinging her already numb fingers. She placed it in the ignition and turned it one more time. She steadily moved the gear shift downward, putting her car back in gear. The engine rumbled. Even though the sun had already faded she still remembered the path in which she came, an easy exit. She leisurely guided her car around the jagged path of stone and slimy mud. Her slow pace began to grow slower as the size of the path decreased, cramming her car in-between the forest of twisted trees. She managed to avoid hitting anything that could cause any harm by being so careful, knowing that she was deeply fragile and the slightest scrap would take months of healing.
She squinted her eyes to see what looked like the exit. As she carefully moved her car forward, she began to see the main road. She proceeded to inch closer. With a sudden rush, her car jolted with speed. The engine growled at the sudden acceleration. At last, she was finally on the main road. Swerving her car to the left, she began to see the sight of the crystal blue ocean. The flouriest moon gleamed on the subtle waves. Still looking at the road, her left hand reached over and turned the volume dial to the right. Even though she still had the volume quiet, she could make out the words that were being said. She instantly knew the song and eagerly turned the radio up even louder. The air was now filled with the sound of Will To Power; her favorite.
Her lips began to sing the same words as the song. She knew the rhythm and tone, which made her sound in synced with the music. The harmony was so peaceful, she immediately felt relaxed. She began to tap the tip of her fingers on the steering wheel to the beat as her soft voice began to sing:
"Shadows grow so long before my eyes,
And they're moving across the page.
Suddenly the day turns into night.
Far away from the city."
She had remembered the first day she had heard that song, but not once has it been as perfect as tonight. The lyrics sent chills down her spine. Her soft voice began to get deafening the more she got into the music. Although, it was such a slow song she managed to make it sound more upbeat. As the song continued she continued too:
"Ooh Baby, I love your way, every day.
Ooh, wanna tell you I love your way, every day.
Ooh, wanna be with you night and day.
Hey, yeah, I love your way."
As the song ended, her excitement did too. She reached to turn the volume dial down, as she made a fierce swerve around the chiseled coastline. Her hair, a cinnamon brown, dancing in the wind. For once in her life, she felt on top of the world, unstoppable. She knew that no longer her past defined her because the person she had now become in this very instant was unrecognizable from the one in her forsaken childhood. In this freeing moment, she felt brand new. What a foreign escape it was to her, to finally feel alive.
* * * * *
She glanced over at her speedometer: 70mph, 80mph, 90mph...She raced around the narrow bends of the coastline, almost like she's been down that coastline a million times before. The exquisite curves and bends that made up this very road she found herself adventuring on soon became her mindless race track, her Thunderbird her race car. She was never a secure girl, she always tended to doubt herself. This made it awfully difficult for her to fully grasp the symbolic rush that flew inside of her as she sat inside a car that rushed to the same speed, however, she did it. She managed to let go. In doing so, she let her hands slip off the wheel, just for a moment. Her hands stretched out far above her head as though she was trying to grasp the moon. Her eyes paused to blink and in that very moment she became undone. In a matter of that second, her Thunderbird flatten against the dead end of the coastline, a cliff. The initial leap her car took in the cliff's direction spared her from the dashboard and back.
Her loose seat belt managed to keep her inches away from death. Her head was spinning, as she instantly began to feel drowsy. Her trembling body was now paralyzed in shock. Her eyes were heavy, her head was wobbling, and it took all the strength she had just to breathe. The next thing she knew, her vision went black, her breaths were slow and deep and her pulse weakened. Her head throbbed, her body slowly shuddered, but none of that rested on her mind. She couldn't get herself to think about what just had happened, it wasn't real yet. In fact, she couldn't think much of anything. There was high pitched ringing that bounced back from one ear to the other, that was all she heard and darkness, well, darkness was all she saw. She convinced herself she was dreaming, a God awful night terror, but deep within she knew that wasn't true. The pain built inside of her, growing with the rate of her nonexistent heart beat.
'This was it,' she thought, 'this was my last day existing.'
The time had a funny way of dragging on like one of those 2 1/2 hour movies stuck on replay. She lost all track of time and all sense of hope. She had let go of all possible chance of being that free, feeling that alive again. It dawned on her how letting go was the same thing that got her into this mess, but like before, it was only for a second. She had to fight for her life, it was instilled in her. Her consciousness was still not fully regained but she could begin to hear her heart beat over the loud screech like ringing. Her vision was now blurred but colorful once again. Her breaths were few but she applauded each one. Still, something didn't feel right. Her body tingled as though it all had went to sleep. Her head still felt as though it was on a merry-go-round, spinning and spinning. There was blood and lots of it, the color of crimson dripping down her face, off her chin, and down on her lap where her hands continued to rest. A small puddle of blood pooled into her scooped hands, it still took a moment for her to realize what she had done. There was scuff mark of red on her steering wheel, her head's target during the crash. Her arms felt like they were full of cement as she reached her right hand across her face to meet the injury. She began releasing all the pressure she had within herself to stop herself from bleeding dry.
Her eyes were glassy and the desire to focus was not yet restored. Her hand quivered as the bleeding lazily stopped. The world felt empty, as did she. The longing of being alone was so tempting to her just moments ago, but what she wouldn't do now to have someone there to comfort her. The coastline was never a busy road, most people acquainted with it knew it to only be a last resort if all the back roads were lined up with cars, but even then they questioned if not being late was worth the dangers of that path. Needless to say, she sat perched in her car with no surrounding peers for miles. No one to answer to her agonizing call for help, no one to be her life support. She was alone in a bad way. The lifeless clouds dangling in the sky fell heavy over the moon. They were smoke like gray and ready to burst.
A sudden mist sprinkled down from the clouds. The wind whipped the sudden rain across the sky. As the rain pelted harder on her tender skin, she felt helpless. Timing had never really been her strong suit, now being a perfect example of so. She had just put the hood of her Thunderbird down that morning. She was soaked, but as for the car, the rain just slithered off the cherry red paint. The rain rushed down from the clouds, striking at her skin. She could hear the raindrops smashing like hail on her shattered windshield. She lifted her hoodie sleeve to view her watch, 1:13 am. She looked around her. She was alone. She began to feel discouraged. She shook the door handle. The rustic handle broke off. She looked down at the now battered handle that laid clenched in her fist. She chucked the handle forward. The handle smacked on the already frigid windshield. One measly little thrust and just like that her windshield frame stood tall and empty, her lap now filled with glass. She groaned.
Using her left side, she forcefully jerked her body towards the driver's side door. It slammed open. The hasty opening of the door caused the latches to break loose. In outrage, she gave the door a keen kick. The driver door busted from the car and slid to the middle of the road. Steaming, she began to stride away from her car. Over her shoulder, she glanced back at her car, door less, busted windshield and the air surrounding it filled with smoke. Just as she turned her head back forward, she sighed. She knew that car was the only thing she had that she could actually call 'hers'. A tear began to glide off her cheek. She knew she just lost the one thing she had to start a new life. Her drenched pants dragged on the ground. She paced forward.
The sky was empty. Walking what felt like a million miles, her legs began to feel numb. She didn't notice her self wobbling back and forth on the curb. Her eyes once again felt drowsy. In the back of her mind she questioned just how safe these streets would be for her wandering soul to lay its exhausted body for a nighttime snooze. With every step, her shoulders became the battleground for a war. One shoulder insisting she keep walking, just until she found somewhere she could keep safe, the other, taunted her with the beautiful consolation of sleep, the warmth from her eyelids acting like a blanket over her bloodshot eyes. Step after step, her feet began to feel like cinder blocks. She attempted to push herself forward. She knew she had been through much worse, but it didn't all happen in just one night. As she gazed in front of her, she began to see two white lights. As the brightness proceeded to move closer, she covered her eyes. The vibrant white lights where too much for her brown dilated eyes to handle. It took her a moment, but she realized that those two lights belonged to a truck. The little strength she had left in her body she used to jump up and down, hoping to get the driver's attention. She hollered and waved the car closer. The small car slowly began to pull over to where she was. The driver pulled down his window to view the soaked young women standing in front of him. The man began to clear his throat, as he gave the girl one more look.
"Excuse me, Miss. Do you happen to know the time?" He asked with an unexpected twang. She began to lift up her sleeve. Raising her arm in the air looking for light, the man cut her off. "I don't mean that kind of time." She was puzzled. "It's too late to be roaming these here streets, especially alone. You could get lost or even injured. This here coastline ain't a place for pretty little ladies such as yourself to go and explore."
"Thanks for being so concerned but I wasn't just walking the streets for any ol' reason. My car broke down a couple miles back." She looked back and pointed behind her. "...And I've been walking this way ever since hoping to find somebody, anybody really."
"Well, why don't I come help you repair your car? I've got a toolbox in the bed of my truck." He offered. She shook her head.
"No need to waste your time. My car's a piece of junk. I'm afraid it's not fixable this time." That was it. It finally set in. There was no more car, no more being alone, still no more feeling alive. "Besides a little fresh air and walking never did any harm to anybody." She declined.
"Sounds like you've had one hell of a night." He grinned. She smiled. "Would you let me do the honors and give you a ride?" Her smile grew but she was still very stubborn. She didn't know this man and normally it would take years for her to finally trust somebody, if she ever trusted them at all. He could be a serial killer for all she knew, a natural born sociopath.
'But what are the odds,' she thought, 'out of the seven billion somethin' people, the one that was her hero would be a dangerous killer in the flesh?' She had always had a way of talking herself into doing and thinking and saying things that the average human being would instinctively know better not to. Her smiled grew.
"Is that a yes?" He asked. She shook her head up and down, she was speechless. Finally someone worth putting faith into. She nodded once more. "Jump in." He smirked.