Keeping everything secret is much harder than I thought, and I hate it.
My first day back at school and I'm almost wishing I never went. Home room has never felt more terrifying, seeing Heeseung and Jungwon was like a punch in the gut. And my school uniform felt more like a cage rather than items of clothing.
One of them knows that I know the truth, but the he other one doesn't and I'm not allowed to tell him. And I'm just supposed to act like nothing is wrong, that hardly seems fair.
I tried my best to keep it relaxed with them, but I just felt Heeseung drilling holes into my eyes every time that I spoke. It felt like he was watching my every move, my every breath, it was suffocating.
"Remember what we agreed." Heeseung's voice echoes in my mind, before I even stepped into the classroom those were his words to me. It was a threat, one I didn't intent to test.
Heeseung and Jungwon were both so tense throughout our conversation, and it had nothing to do with me. Everyone in the school is acting the same way, like they're all walking on egg shells. Being extra attentive and cautious around every corner.
The slightest of sound and movement quickly draws the attention of the school. Even the headmistress who rarely shows herself is present, observing every inch of the school. I've rarely seen her show emotion. But right now I can read her like an open book.
Conflicted and apprehensive.
They know about the war. That is the only logical explanation for why everyone is acting this way. And it's valid. I don't even know how I would act if I was in their position, if I was like them. I may be involved in K's eyes, but I don't have the same level of fear as them. I'm not a vampire. The stakes aren't the same.
I barely get the chance to ponder on the war, whilst walking to my next class through a somewhat empty hallway - minus a few others scattered around - the sound of heavy footsteps come to my attention.
"Jiyeon you're back!" Niki emerges from nowhere, running up to me like his life depends on it.
He tries to grab me into a hug but ends up tripping in the process and we both go tumbling to the floor. Luckily not many people are in the hallway so it's not extremely embarrassing.
"Suspension wasn't going to kill me." We both laugh together as he jokingly shoves me on the floor. We stay there for a few more moments before finally rising up. It's feels nice to have some sense of comfortability again.
Even if I can't fully express it with my friends.
"It's been wild since you've been gone. Especially the last few days." The end of his sentence fades out, his playful nature replaced with one in a sorrow that's trying to hide itself.
I know he's talking about the war. I'm not really supposed to know, and it sucks. I can't even comfort my own friend in his time of need. It must be a nerve racking feeling, being forced to fight and not know to reason or if you'll even come back alive.
"Anyways, are you okay?" His smile is weak, but he's trying his best.
It's hard to be positive in a situation like that, and it makes sense that he's trying to deflect from the situation. Because once again, I am not supposed to know. For that reason alone I choose not to press him any further and continue our conversation.
"Perfectly fine." Except from the fact that I'm completely lying to your face.
I want to tell him the truth, I want to tell all of them the truth. The guilt I'm carrying only gets heavier the longer I keep it in. But I can't do it. I said I would keep what I know a secret, it's what's best for everyone involved apparently. I'm going to trust Heeseung's judgement. If he believes that this is the right decision, I can only hope that trusting him will bring out a positive outcome.
As I try to continue my conversation with Niki, a person is heading towards me at an unthinkable speed. I try to ignore it, thinking that they've just got somewhere to be. But I can't shake the feeling that something is off. The way they're walking, the black hoodie covering their face, it's very strange.
And I was right. Whilst I'm in the middle speaking the masked figure comes up to me and bumps past me with immense fires that I almost tumble over. I instantly turn to try and catch a glimpse of the person but they're already gone.
"Are you alright?" Niki's voice sounds so distant that I almost don't hear him. I'm just going to ignore it for now.
But when I try to turn my head back to meet Niki's face, I'm met with a dark forest covered in a heavy mist. It's dense and cold, nothing else in sight except for enormous trees and rough terrain.
This has to be another vision. But this is odd.
I always have some sort of symptoms before a vision; a pulsing headache, feeling like I can't move, a sudden darkness. I got none of those things this time. The transition into it was seamless, one turn and now I'm immediately immersed into a vision. That's never happened before.
Before I can process everything, a menacing noise echoes suddenly throughout the forest, the leaves and branches carrying on the sound as far as it can go. Too far away from me to make out what it is.
It makes me jump in surprise. I'm shocked that sound wasn't enough to force me out of this vision.
Shortly after the strange noise the sounds of steps emerges, coming towards me at a rapid rate. But those aren't the steps of a human being, they're rougher. A thunderous frenzy of click-clack, heavy breaths that most definitely aren't human either.
The ground around me beings to tremble, whatever it is, it's getting closer. To make matters worse, my body is refusing to follow my minds instructions and move. I fight internally with my body for what seems like forever, until it finally listens and I move behind a huge pine tree just as the mysterious being makes is arrival.
I hold my breath behind the trunk, careful not to make any sudden sounds. And then a large neigh rips through the forest, almost shattering my eardrums. I peer behind the tree to see a dark horse behind me, a person on its back as it rises itself on its two back hooves.
You've got to be kidding me, I'm hiding from a horse. How embarrassing. Just as I'm about to relax, the horse lowers itself back down and I get a clearer look at the person riding it.
It's Jay.
Dressed in a bedazzled and regal style of armour, hair slicked back, gripping tightly to the reins. He looks enchanting but menacing at the same time as he observes the forest around him. He reaches for his right side, the sharp sounds of silver ringing around the nature as he pulls out a silver sword. I've never seen silver like that before.
Matter a fact I have, from my last vision. And he's wearing the same outfit from it, obviously in much better shape. This is before the battle, but why is it only him here?
I turn away from the sight, trying my best not to reveal my position. And right as I do that, something catches my eye amongst the uniform forest.
There's a clearing up ahead, that's odd. It's so randomly placed it almost doesn't seem real.
Then again what is real anymore. I start walking over to the open land, still conscious of Jay so I keep my steps as quiet as possible. Once I finally reach the space, I'm in complete confusion.
The floor is no longer green, but coated in a layer of red sand. Almost as if the soil had been soaked in blood. It's slightly terrifying, but I still keep walking. That is until I hear the shrieking sound of a neigh again, and I sharply turn my head back towards the dense forest.
I take slower, quieter steps back. No longer able to see what was once before me. My eyes fixated on the mass of trees, ears attentive for any sudden sounds and movements. I take one more step backwards, only to realise that there's no ground behind too late. I barely process my body falling and descending beneath the surface.
I only fall a few feet until my back slams against a plush surface with a soft thud. Specs of the red sand raining down on me from the impact as my vision suddenly goes black.
What the hell was that?!
My initial instinct is to feel around, figuring out whatever I am. My hand makes contact with a wooden panel on my side., crumbling at my subtle touch, and the tiniest movement causing another shower is dusted red to cascade on me. The air is sparse, breathing practically impossible, but I still keep calm and take slow breaths.
I raise my hand above me and feel the same wooden texture as before. A coffin. I'm in a bloody coffin! But now isn't the time to freak out, I have to get out of here.
I calm myself down and press my hands against the pine box, using my strength to see if the panels will flex. Luckily they do just that. So I quickly remove my hands away and begin taking off my school blazer, a very tedious task but I manage, and I place it over my face. Preparing myself for anymore sand, I will not suffocate to death here.
Would I even die? This is only a vision, there's no way a person can die in a vision. Right?
I slowly move my legs, raising them against the planks and start kicking agains the coffin lid. It's not long before the wood splits and glimmers of light shine inside.
There's no sand on top. Just the open sky.
I refuse to even think about it any longer and crawl out from the coffin, using all my energy to emerge from the pit just shy of six feet deep.
I look around my surroundings more carefully this time, and just like the pit I fell in, there are six more pits. All equal distance apart and formed in the shape of a circle, each one with an open casket lying inside. Grains of red sand covering the white cloth on the inside.
Seven coffins in total. And there's seven boys in the Wild Ones...
"Hello?" I look up to see a hand waving across my face, a worried expression on Niki's face behind it.
That was weird. Really weird. I don't even know what to think about what I just saw, I don't even think I understand what I saw. Jay on a horse in battle gear, I remember from my last vision that he was wearing the same thing. So it's the future, judging from how clean it looked this time it's safe to say that is from before the fight started.
But what was he doing there all alone? The rest of the boys were nowhere to be found in my vision. Perhaps Jay was looking for something. But what?
I don't even want to begin thinking about the coffins either. Why on earth would there be a random plot of land coated in a mysterious red sand, it doesn't make any sense. Seven open caskets, one for each of the boys. It has to be where they resurrected after death.
What is the point of showing me that? What is so important about that place and what does it have to do with me?
"Are you sure everything is okay?" Niki tries to place his hand on my arm and I unintentionally pull away.
It's so annoying that nobody else is able to see what I see. It makes me look delusional, crazy, whatever you want to call it. I just suffered through being stuck in a coffin for Christ's sake, but I'm the one that is just spacing out. The stress and pressure of everything gets to me and I just snap.
"I'm absolutely fine! Just drop it!" I yell a bit louder than I expected, drawing the attention from a few other students scattered around the quiet hallway.
What a way to show that I'm most definitely the opposite of fine. I completely lost my cool. I can see it in Niki's face, he's growing suspicious of me. I expect him to start pressing me further, but he never does.
"Was just checking on you." Immediately he turns around, walking away from me without saying another word. I've blown it. What if he tells the others?
I don't even know what to feel anymore, being on my own now isn't making matters any better. My mind is battling so many thoughts that it just can't keep up.
There's only one thing that I know for certain.
War is coming and I have no idea how to stop it. And that's what frustrates me the most, that woman gave me this mission and I'm failing terribly. How can I even start to think about stopping it when I can't even tell the boys that I know about them being vampires?
I doubt they would even let me, they don't truly see me as one of them. I'm not a vampire, I could never be one of them even if I tried.
It's not like I could tell one of them to come over and bite me. For all I know I may not even human, who knows if it would even work? I've read that a vampire bite is enough to kill another supernatural being, I didn't read far enough to figure out which ones specifically.
If I really am of that world, I don't think it's wise for me to risk my life on whim just for acceptance. That would be a foolish mistake, and I value my life.
The boys are attached to you...
I can't help wonder if there's any truth in what K told me. I know that I'm close with them, but attached, seems a little too far fetched for me. Then again with all the information I've found out, it's on the bottom of my list of crazy things. The very bottom.
However if K is right and the boys are as attached to me as he says, then I doubt any of them would kill me if I did tell them what I know. They may be very mad, but going to the extent of killing probably wouldn't feel like an option to them.. If that's the case then that is quite comforting to an extent.
Maybe telling them what I know wouldn't be such a bad thing, the worst consequence would essentially be impossible to occur. So in all honesty...
What's really the worst that could happen?