The sun too bright.
The streets too loud.
Everything in her hurt.
Physical and emotional.
She didn't know where to go.
She didn't have anything to go.
But she walked because she had to.
Because she needed too.
"Why?" she asked to no one in particular but to anyone who would listen, stumbling over her feet while she struggled to stay awake, Her bloodied arms limp on her side, it was getting harder for her to navigate through the city, but she had to.
She needed to find shelter, she was done for anyway, but a shelter would be nice if she was to go now, it would be better than the middle of the street.
Stumbling towards an alleyway, her lack of food and water catching up to her now, her lips dry, no amount of licking them would help with the pain they caused, she found it amusing, the bloodied hands of hers hurt less than her lips.
Spotting a piece of thrown-out cardboard against the wall, a broken blue shelter hanging over it, she smiled, this was something.
Collapsing on the hard cardboard she heaved a sigh, walking around barefoot was the worst, her feet were probably bleeding too but she didn't care, she couldn't, she was numb.
She could hear the faint noise of a speaker from inside a shop, some kind of upbeat music playing through it, She was grateful for a change of atmosphere, she wouldn't mind dying to this beat, though upbeat it helped her relax, which in normal terms was really weird, but who cares she was dying anyways.
"Hey! Are you okay?" She heard someone calling from a distance, she couldn't care less, they'd get tired of calling out to her and be on their way, She was too weak to even shoo them off, her eyes dropping heavy.
"Hey, kid!" The voice got closer so did the darkness, all her focus was on the music, If she was to die this would be the tune she'd die to.
"Oh my god, honey!" The man yelled out to his wife nearby, She didn't care who saw her in this state, she was dead anyway.
"Oh my god, this is-somebody call 911!"
The commotion got louder, the crowd increased so did the darkness, She smiled as she gave in to the darkness, the only escape she had.
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The noises around her were strange, it was quiet but she could hear people talking, she didn't recognize any of the voices, it took her some time but she managed to open her eyes, regretting it as the lights blinded her sensitive eyes.
This wasn't what she saw when she gave in, titled ceiling and bright lights weren't her view, it was the evening sky and that song lulling her to darkness, not bright lights and beeping machines.
"What the hell?" Registering the wires hooked to hers she started sitting up, why were so many wires attached to her? Why was her body so numb?
"Hey hey hey," someone said from her side, She was too busy trying to sit up to notice, why was she here. How was she here?
"Take it easy, you're on a lot of medication," the person said.
"What?" she frowned looking at the person, It was a doctor, dressed in a white coat a stethoscope around his neck, he had a soothing accent she noticed, definitely not from the States.
"You're lucky your family found you just in time," the doctor smiled at her, she couldn't shake off the frown, "family?"
The doctor nodded, "Your aunt and uncle found you, they'll be here."
She looked at her hands, her bruises were now apparent, and the dirt and mud no longer hid her cuts and bruises, She looked over her body the best she could, dressed in a hospital gown, bandages wrapped where necessary, She also felt clean which was good.
But aunt and uncle.
She'd only ever heard him mention them once or twice in her 19 years of life, she didn't even know what they looked like.
But she had an aunt and uncle apparently.
"Is she awake?" said a person as they rushed inside the room.
She looked up to see a man and a woman standing near the door, She could see the shock on their faces, the relief as they stared at her.
"Oh Maya!" the woman spoke in delight as she walked towards the hospital bed, "I'm so glad you're awake."
Maya stared at the woman, she had a familiar look in her eyes and her accent was Eastern, She couldn't figure out why the woman looked so familiar, yet she didn't need to, right now she didn't need to.
"Your mother would be very happy to see you."
"Mother?"
Mother was a foreign word, having only ever referred father to a man she'd been with the whole time, Mother seemed alien to her, her social life didn't even consist of interacting with any women who could've been her resonated a mother-figure, yet the word brought warmth to her, a need to be close to this mother.
"Yeah your mother," the man said as he walked closer, "she's been relentlessly searching for you."
Maya nodded, she had someone, she had somewhere to go, and she had a mother looking for her despite the words drilled into her brain she had a place to go, a wound hurt less on that revelation.
"Doctor?" the man turned to the doctor in the room, he needed to know why Maya had little to no response to anything, why she seemed to be unfamiliar with a lot of things said.
"She's mostly in shock right now," the doctor said, "we are still establishing a timeline of how long she was out in the streets with no food and water, and whatever the reason was that she had to stay out."
The man took a breath in, his niece needs a lot of time and help to get back to her healthy lifestyle and he'll help her in any way he can.
"Who are you?" Maya asked, unsure if the question was needed, but she needed to know who these people were who were so caring towards her.
"I'm Park Eun-ji, your imo or aunt."
"Imo," the word funny in her mouth but she was glad to have established a link with the woman.
"I'm Park Baek-hyun, your samchon or uncle, I'm your mother's brother."
"Samchon," Maya nodded, a question lingering in her mind, "My mother?"
"Park Ji-Yeon," her samchon replied, "we'll take you to her once you're free from this hospital, promise."
Maya turned to the doctor, Though she had established a link with these people she needed to know if it was real, "are they really?"
The doctor nodded, "We have confirmed from your blood work and the police data, they are your family."
Maya nodded, she could trust science on this, she had a family.
___________________
Weeks turned to months, and it took a long time for Maya to get on her feet again, Severely malnourished and ill, she needed a lot of care from her family and the doctors to get back to her feet.
She had somehow convinced her imo and samchon to drop the case against her father, she never gave out the name to the police and her imo and samchon respected her wishes and didn't give out the name either, she needed to be done with her past.
Walking down the lobby of the hospital with a crutch in hand, Maya smiled as she spotted her family near the reception.
"Hey kid," her samchon walked up to her offering her his hand for support as the duo walked up to her imo.
"How're you feeling?" He asked as he guided her to sit down on a chair near the reception, Maya nodded, "Better."
Her imo turned to her, "That stomach bug still hurting you?"
Maya shook her head, "It's good now, imo."
Maya has gotten close to them over the past few months, They'd tell her about her mother, all these stories they had from when they were in South Korea, and they'd help her with her wounds and stay awake with her during those nights she couldn't fall asleep.
They'd made the loud mind of hers at peace, she finally had someone to call family by heart and blood not only blood, The will to die had long left her the day she opened up to them and they'd nothing short of angels for her.
"We go see eomma now?" Maya asked when Eun-ji thanked the people at the reception turning to the duo behind her.
The two have been teaching her Korean, wanting her to be close to at least one part of her heritage since her father ruined his side for her, She's been a pretty quick learner.
Baek-Hyun nodded, "Your eomma has been very excited to meet you since we told her you'll be home today."
Maya grinned, She'd gotten to know her mother through the stories they had told her, but she hadn't been able to visit since she herself was ill and had to always stay in her home as too much stress on her body could worsen her health.
Standing up with the support of Baek-Hyun, Maya used her crutches to walk towards the gate, Eun-ji holding the bag with her medicines and files, She still had a long road to recovery but at least she would recover now under the care of her family.
Helping her in the car, the couple moved around securing the bags in the trunk and loading stuff before taking their seat in the front.
"Ready to go home?" Baek-Hyun asked as he started the car, Maya nodded, she never had a place to call home, Where she lived before was barely a house so she was excited to be finally going somewhere where she could call her home with the people who genuinely seemed to care for her.
She couldn't wait to go home.
________________________
"Home sweet home, Maya," Eun-ji said as she led the girl into the house, Maya looked around in awe, never had she seen such a beautiful house, decorated with pictures and wallpapers and artefacts it was a dream house for her.
"Wow," she said walking around, "this is a really beautiful house, a hundred times better than the one I lived in."
"Well this is yours now, sweetheart," Eun-ji said, "this is your home now."
Maya smiled, "Thank you."
"You don't have to thank us, we're family," Eun-ji patted Maya's cheek softly.
Maya smiled at her, she looked around the house once more, "Where's eomma?"
"I'll take you to her, Come on," Eun-ji took her hand softly leading her down the hallway, Baek-Hyun close behind them.
Eun-ji opened a door at the end of the hallway, letting Maya in first.
Maya slowly walked inside, she noticed a bed on the side of the room, She could make out a figure laying on the bed, the blanket pulled up to the chin.
Maya was unsure of what to say, she didn't even know if she could talk, she was filled with emotions.
Luckily for her Eun-ji spoke up, "Jiyeon-ah, look who's here."
The blanket moved from her body, and Maya saw a woman sit up, her hair was tied in a loose braid, still, a few strands escaped, the curtain was left open which let the evening sun in, and she could see her mother's eyes soften in the light as she stared at her.
"Maya?" Said a weak voice from the bed, Maya wouldn't have heard it if she was focused elsewhere but she did.
Maya nodded walking towards the bed, "It's me," Maya felt her voice breaking, her eyes burning with unspelt tears, She watched as a smile took over her mother's face, She watched as her mother carefully got off the bed and walked towards her.
She felt her mother's warm hand touch her cheek, Leaning into the touch she smiled, "You're so big," her mother laughed lightly as she stared at her daughter, She took her daughter in her arms, holding her tight like she did on the day she was born.
Maya threw her crutches on the ground holding her mother tightly not enough to hurt her but she held on tight, she buried her face in her shoulder, her tears falling free.
"Oh my baby, I missed you so much," Jiyeon spoke, her tears falling as she rubbed her daughter's back, She couldn't hold back as she cried, she cried for the years lost, she cried for the pain Maya endured, she cried for her daughter.
"I missed you too, eomma," Maya replied head resting on her mother's shoulder, she felt her mother sob against her, having heard her daughter call her eomma was all Jiyeon needed, she was taken too young from her, she longed to be called eomma.
The mother and daughter duo stood in the middle of the room, hugging, Eun-ji and Baek-Hyun stood near the door letting the two reunite, They knew Jiyeon didn't have much time, so they let the two savour as much as they could these moments together.
Maya slowly pulled away from her mother's arms, she held onto her forearms pushing her backwards, "Sit down, you can't stand up for too long."
Jiyeon didn't back, she let her daughter lead her to the bed sitting down, Maya sat down beside her wiping her tears, "How do you feel?" Maya asked.
"I don't feel the pain anymore."
Maya smiled her at mother, There was one thing she hated about the resources she had back with him, her obsession with biology was allowed which meant she took extra classes in that, She was a grad student for god's sake, she knew what this meant, her mother had stopped feeling the pain, she was going numb-no not her-her organs we're going numb, Jiyeon didn't have much time.
"That's good," Maya said trying to mask the sadness and the disappointment she felt, "at least you're not in pain."
Jiyeon smiled at her, "You're so grown up."
Maya nodded, and she took her mother's hand in hers, they didn't say anything further, just sat there, her imo and samchon joining them, the family of four sat together in the room, there was no need for words yet, the silence was enough for them.
______________________
"I got the snacks!" Maya yelled closing the door with her foot, Baek-Hyun walked up to her locked the door and took a few bags from her.
"You got a lot, kiddo," he glanced into the bag, "Was there a discount or something?"
Maya shook her head, "I had a few extra bucks from my job, I used those."
"Maya," Baek-Hyun said disapproving.
Maya shrugged, She kept the packets on the table before heading towards her mother who was sitting on the couch in the living.
"Hi eomma," she said as she sat beside her, Jiyeon smiled patting her daughter's cheek lovingly, she had long lost the energy to speak, and she was slowly losing the energy to do the basic work, the doctor gave her maximum of three days at best that she could survive, the medicines had stopped working weeks ago.
Maya took hold of the remote, "we'll watch a show you want to watch, okay? Tap my hand on which one."
Maya kept scrolling through the shows, her mother watching the screen, tapping her hand when it landed on a sitcom.
Maya grinned, "You are my mother," she said proudly.
"Imo, samchon, hurry!"
"Aah stop screaming, we're coming."
Maya giggled, "I love you."
Jiyeon smiled from beside Maya, she watched in content as her family set up the room for Friday movie night.
"Okay, everybody take your place," Maya said holding the remote, "and start," she pressed play on episode one of the sitcom, sitting beside her mother with a bowl of popcorn.
"Eomma," Maya said, she felt her mother hum beside her, "when I earn money, I'll take you to that place, I know you like it."
Maya pointed to the screen, and her mother smiled against her, her eyelids heavier than usual.
Maya reached for her water bottle, and with trembling hands, she picked it up holding it to her mother, "Want some?"
Jiyeon shook her head.
Maya drank a few sips keeping the bottle aside.
30 minutes went by quietly, the sitcom playing at low volume, Maya had the bowl of popcorn untouched on her lap, and she felt her mother lean her head on her shoulder.
Maya looked over, "Are you tired?"
Jiyeon nodded.
Maya smiled, her lips trembling, "you can sleep, eomma, I'll wake you up at the good parts," her voice trembled with grief as she coaxed her mother into sleeping.
Her knuckles turned white as she held onto the bowl of popcorn tightly, "it's okay," Maya spoke softly, "You can go to sleep, eomma, I'll see you soon."
Maya struggled to hold in a sob, she knew what would happen if her mother went to sleep now, this would be the last time she'd ever talk to her, the last time she'd ever get a response to calling her eomma.
Maya leaned her head against her mother's, quietly humming the tune she heard when she was close to giving up on her life, She could feel her mother's grip on her slowly fading, but she kept humming, her tears falling, her voice trembled but she hummed, lulling her mother to sleep, a sleep that would lead her to a better place a place with no pain.
Maya slowly kept the bowl aside, her hand holding her mother's as she kept on humming, remembering the days she'd spent with her mother, They were too short but she was grateful to have known her mother, to have someone to call eomma, to know she had a mother who didn't abandon her by choice but by force, she knew she had to let go.
"Eomma?" She asked quietly, no response, she took in a shaky breath and tried again, "eomma?" Her voice cracked as she spoke not able to contain her sob, she held her mother's hand tightly, "We'll meet again, eomma, for a longer period of time now." She promised as she let go of her mother's hand.
"Time of death," said a nurse from behind the couch, she had her finger on her mother's neck checking for a pulse, "21:09"
Maya sobbed as her mother's body was removed from her hold, Her imo was quick to her side taking hold of a grieving child as she fell to the floor.
Maya clutched onto her imo as she wailed about her mother's death, Her hold on her imo tightened as she felt her mother's body being picked up from the couch and put on a stretcher, Her cries and pleas grew louder as her mother was rolled out of the house, thrashing around her imo's arms for a last goodbye but she couldn't because if she was allowed to, she would've followed her mother to the grave.
Baek-Hyun had soon taken the place of Eun-ji, letting her deal with the formality, his niece needed him right now and he needed her, he sat on the floor hugging the wailing child as she sobbed.
"My eomma, I want her back!" She cried against him, thrashing around, "We didn't have enough time! I want her back!"
Baek-Hyun cried against his niece, he held her tight rocking her back and forth, "I'm sorry, Maya, I'm sorry."
He kept apologising for a crime he didn't do, he kept apologising to Maya for a crime he didn't create because that was the only thing he could do, he couldn't bring his sister back, he couldn't give Maya the childhood she deserved, all he did was apologize.
Maya had gone against him, her arms loosely on his side, she stared into space though her thoughts were empty, she couldn't think, she couldn't move, so she sat against her uncle, his occasional hand running through her hair kept her in the reality.
But reality sucked.
Time had won,
She knew it would.
She needed its mercy,
And wasn't offered any.
Reality sucked.
Hi!
So, new story!
I've been meaning to write this for months so I just did.
Hope you like this chapter I'll see you soon.
:)