The next party would be one of the biggest ones Fairview had to offer. It was the annual bonfire and would take place on a hill a few miles away from campus. I was excited to get out of the houses and be at a more exciting location for once. And I loved bonfires. I didn't get disappointed.
The crisp air smelled like burnt wood and it was warm enough to only wear short sleeves on the huge field surrounded by a forest. I couldn't wait for summer time. We sat down on the grass with our drinks and just chatted for a while. I leaned my head against Zoe's shoulder and took everything in. This was it. Those were the evening I loved. Not being surrounded by tons of people pressed against me in small crowded rooms, being hit on by gross guys and way too loud music. But instead being surrounded by people I knew and cared about. It made me smile. I looked around, watching the people dancing and chatting around the fire, loosely following the conversation. I lost my smile for a second when I captured Aiden leaning against a tree, talking to a blonde girl in front of him. It stung, so I quickly looked away. At least they weren't making out.
A few minutes later our eyes crossed. I tried to give him a neutral smile and he raised a greeting brow before turning his attention back to the girl. Why couldn't this be me? I looked away again. Sometimes I wondered if things would be different if we weren't roommates. On the other hand he probably wouldn't even know I existed if I didn't live in the same house as him. I was an average girl. Why would he care. I caught myself going down that spiral and quickly got up to get myself another drink.
On my way back, I decided to take a longer route and circle the field. It was good to spend more time in nature and I took some deep breaths. Oklahoma was so much more beautiful than I had expected. My friends came back in sight, when I suddenly heard an upset female voice. "Blake, don't touch me." My blood froze. Without thinking twice I stepped closer, doing my best to ignore my pounding heart. "Oh come on, babe, don't be mad it was a joke." a deep male voice answered. He sounded annoyed. A small girl with short brown hair was standing in front of a tall guy with sleeked back hair. I had seen him before, he was one of the frat guys. One of the ... worst. "It wasn't funny Blake, let go of me." she hissed. He couldn't care less and gripped her wrists even harder.
That's when I snapped. "Let go of her." my voice sounded surprisingly steady given my heart beating painfully against my chest. Both of them turned towards me. I couldn't see her face as Blake immediately stepped forward coming way too close. "What did you just say?" he asked between gritted teeth. "If a girl tells you to stop touching her you let the fuck go off her." I snapped at him. Yes, I was scared of him. But also furios. He gave me an ugly smile. "This is none of your fucking business." His breath hit my face, the smell of alcohol making me sick. "It's anyones business to treat girls with respect." His hand flew forward, grabbing my chin. "Be very careful how you talk to me. Who are you, anyways?" He tilted my face upwards so I had to stare into his cold eyes. I wanted to throw up. I could feel the sweat running down my spine. He was touching me, and his cold hands made my heart beat accelerate even more. I could feel the panic rushing through me, but my rage was stronger. "Who do you think you are, have you ever heard of consent?" He paid no attention to my words. "Hold on, didn't you fuck Owen like two days after moving here?" His grip tightened and I fought against the incoming panic attack. This couldn't be happening right now. My anger had to win this time. I took a deep breath and looked him stone cold in the eyes, although my hands were trembling. "Well thank God it wasn't you."
"Let go of my roommate, Blake." I heard a calm voice behind me. We both turned. It was Aiden. My heart uncomfortably squeezed together. I was still furious, but relieved that he stepped in. His eyes didn't look as calm as his voice, their cold gaze locked with Blake's and made goosebumps go down my spine. I never wanted to be the reason for that look in his eyes. He still looked beautiful, but I could tell you didn't want him to be your enemy. This was only the surface of something ... deeper. They both stayed quiet for a few seconds, just staring at each other. Then Blake's jaw clenched and he finally let go of me. "Teach her some manners." he simply gave back, gave me one last angry look and turned around, dragging the girl with him. The girl gave me a sneering grin and left with him.
Aiden and I stayed quiet for a moment as I watched them disappear. I couldn't believe the look the girl had just given me. Shouldn't she be grateful that I helped her? The adrenaline still pumped though my veins when Aiden finally broke the silence. "It was nice of you trying to help her. But she knows what she's gotten herself into. They're dating." That explained her attitude, but his words also hurt. He didn't mean it that way and how would he know, but he'd never been that girl. Not like me. He wouldn't understand. I tried to swallow my anger, gave him a quick nod and said. "Thank you." Then I left before he could see the tears in my eyes.
I didn't walk back to the others but made my way straight towards the cars. With any luck there would be an Uber waiting. Thankfully there was. I climbed in and told the driver the address, then I buried my face in my hands and tried to calm my breath. I could feel the weird look the driver gave me through the back mirror, but I ignored it on our quiet ride back. I made it into the bathroom, that's where I locked myself and broke down in the shower. I angrily rubbed my chin, trying to get every trace of Blake's touch off my body. I had sworn myself to never feel like that again. Get here I was, only a few months later. I sunk down on the floor and let the emotions run over me while the water running down on my face combined itself with my tears.
The following morning I woke up with my head pounding. I had texted Zoe last night letting her know I left because I felt sick, now it didn't even feel like a lie. I took some deep breaths and walked towards my drawer. Tired grey eyes and a scratched chin reflected in the mirror. I wasn't surprised. I quickly looked away and put on my favourite sweater. Zack was fast asleep on the couch when I went downstairs. He looked adorable and made me smile. When I walked into the kitchen I nearly ran into Aiden. He looked up from his phone when he saw me and handed me my coffee mug. He knew my routine by now. It was a tiny gesture, but it made my heart skip a beat. I gave him my best smile and thanked him. He watched me while I ran the coffee machine. "Are you doing okay?" he hesitantly asked. I quickly nodded and looked up, trying to act as neutral as possible. His eyes had lost all the coolness again. I didn't know why I wasn't scared of him after last night. It had only been a small moment. But it had taught me so much about his character. And that he was capable of so much more. I had no right comparing him to Nate, but I did. And the only thing that scared me was that I wasn't scared of him. "I am, thanks." He looked like he wanted to add something, but in that moment his phone rang and he excused himself. I tried not to wonder what he wanted to say.
After him saving me from Blake he changed his attitude towards me. He still wasn't talking much to me, let alone joke around like he did with Zoe, but he lost his distance. And after a few awful nights I started to finally feel like myself again.
That's when I caught him staring at me after returning from my run one morning. He was only wearing his grey sweats, his smooth chest was showing, and my knees started feeling even weaker after my workout. My mind was still awfully torn between thinking about Nate, Blake and the issues I had to deal with thanks to them, but Aiden's effect on me was still undeniable. I tried to ignore him and grabbed my water bottle from the table to drink some huge sips. Then I saw his reflection in the mirror next to the entryway and froze. Aiden Stewart was watching me. I was wearing tight leggings and a sports bra; it must've caught his attention. He realized I had caught him but didn't seem to care. He was still a fuckboy; why would he? It took a lot of courage, but I turned around and faced him. I slowly let my gaze wander over his bare chest, arms, defined muscles and ... stopped at his crotch. Then I raised a brow. "Now we're even." I repeated his words from a few weeks ago. The corner of his mouth twitched, and he couldn't stop himself from a slight grin. I grinned back and went upstairs. It made me happy to see him smile. He hadn't looked as happy himself for the last few days. But staring at his crotch certainly didn't help to calm my nerves. It took a very long hot shower to finally relax.
The next day was my first shift without Sarah's supervision. Instead, I'd be working with Bella, a fellow student currently doing her master's in Biology. She was pretty cool. Her curly blonde hair was loosely tied back, and her arms were covered in beautiful fine tattoos. It was a quiet day at the café, so I spent most of the time asking her all about them. She met her boyfriend while getting her first one in town – he was the artist. I gladly let her give me their name and Instagram account. I had been thinking about getting one myself for quite some time now. Whether I was twenty-one or forty, my parents would kill me for it, but it felt like something I had to do for myself. Nate never approved back when we were dating, and I had dropped the idea a few times. And while it was my own body and I could make my own decisions, I didn't dare to do it. I didn't want to feel his judgment. But now that I was by myself, it felt like the right thing to do. I cleaned the foamer while telling her about my idea. It was her turn to take orders. "Two black ones to go, please."
I flinched when I heard the familiar deep voice. I'd recognize it anywhere. I stopped in the middle of my sentence and turned around. There he was, leaning against the counter, his eyes darting into mine. He didn't seem surprised; he must have recognized my voice before. Did I see a hint of annoyance in his eyes? If so, it was gone immediately. I tried not to think about it. "Hey." I tried to say as calmly as possible. Bella turned towards me when she realized we knew each other. She raised a knowing brow and stepped away so I'd take his order. God bless women's intuition. I'd have to thank her once he was gone.
I saw a friend of his from across the street standing a few feet away, speaking on his phone. "I didn't know you worked here." he gave back. I nervously smiled and started the machine. "Yeah, I just started." A little smile played around his lips. "It fits you." Now my smile was genuine. We both shared our passion for decent coffee. "I know." Then I didn't know what to say, and he quietly watched me pouring the second coffee into the cup.
"What are you up to?" I finally asked, nodding towards his friend, who raised a greeting brow, still busy on the phone. He'd hung out at ours before; his name was Theo. "Basketball, the weather's good." He shrugged. I was done now and took the credit card he handed me. "Cool." Aiden Jonathan Stewart. His middle name made me smile; it somehow fit perfectly. He thanked me when I gave him the two cups. Before turning around, he hesitated for a second. "You should get that tattoo." I couldn't read his expression and was more than surprised that he had listened to Bella and me talking. But I gave him a shy smile. "Yeah, I think so. Thanks."
Our encounter kept distracting me all day. Of course, Bella bombarded me with questions as soon as he was gone. She'd seen him before; he came here every now and then. She was very disappointed when I told her we were only roommates. "He's so hot; I have no idea how you can just watch him every day." she said in utter disbelief. True, Bella. Very true. It was useless to daydream about him, though. Instead, I decided it was about time for some self-improvement.
I had been so distracted with working at the café, classes, and trying to make friends that I still hadn't had time or energy to get back into a routine. When I returned from work, I couldn't find Zack downstairs, but I knew he was home, so I knocked on the door. "Come in." I heard his deep voice through the door across from mine. "Hey ..." I walked a few steps inside. I'd never been here before. The guys spent most of their time downstairs. His room had dark blue walls, another massive screen, and a basketball bin above his bed. It was a little messy, but I'd seen worse. "What's up?" he looked up from his computer and gave me a warm smile. "Well, I'm planning on joining a gym and wanted your opinion. I went to the campus gym, but it really sucked. Is yours any good?" He looked excited. "It is. They've just opened a new CrossFit area; you should come with me next time!" I gave him a shy smile. "Are you sure? I don't wanna bother you ..." He just scoffed. "As if. Nah, it would be fun. I plan to go tonight around nine-ish; you're free?" Perfect. I beamed at him. "Awesome, thanks!"
A few hours later. I was absolutely exhausted. He didn't just show me the rooms and let me do a little routine. Instead, I had to join his training program. I had no doubt that I wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow and couldn't wait to go to bed. We had a great time, though. I felt like Zack was slowly becoming my second favorite roommate after Zoe. I banned Aiden from my list. He laughed at me when my hands were shaking too much from unlocking the door and grabbed my key to do it himself. We walked in, and Aiden was sitting at the dining table, a coffee and his laptop in front of him. "What's up?" Zack greeted him and threw his gym bag in the corner. "Not much. It's so hard to find sources for my paper." He looked up and saw me standing behind Zack, still holding my bag. He looked from my hand to Zack's bag in the corner and frowned. "What have you guys been up to?"
"I joined his gym." I quickly answered before Zack could. I knew our relationship was weird, but I'd love to be able to have a decent conversation with him at least every now and then, just like earlier at work. "She's a beast. I gave her my program, and she nearly fainted, but she did it." I boxed his arm. I wasn't even close to fainting. But his compliment made me smile. "Let's see who's gonna faint when I take you to my hot yoga class." Aiden just looked at the two of us.
"Cool." he finally said and started typing again. What a great conversation. Why was he so cool again now? I rolled my eyes and thanked Zack one last time for taking me; then, I went upstairs. On my way up, I could hear Aiden's quiet voice. "Since when do we bring girls to the gym?" I couldn't hear Zack's answer, but his question surprised me. What was wrong with me going to the gym together? It's not like we didn't hang out back home. And I wasn't planning on joining Zack's program again soon. Then, I remembered his annoyed face earlier today. Did I bother him so much that he couldn't stand running into me while training there? I went back into my room and lay down on my bed. I was sick of him being so confusing. Why did he treat me so much differently than Zoe, for example? Was it so obvious that I was still into him, and it made him uncomfortable? Enough, I warned myself.
He was in a great mood today. Not only did he get the internship for the summer that he'd worked his ass off for, but he had also passed the exam he had been afraid of. I waited for him in front of the law faculty; I wanted to surprise him. As soon as he saw me, he picked me up and spun us around until we both felt dizzy and laughed. He gave me a long kiss. "I'm so proud of you.", I whispered, and the love in his eyes still made my knees all week, even now after three years. "Thank you, babe." I stroke his chin, and he slowly let me down. We ended up going to our favorite Italian restaurant around the block; he even bought some wine we usually couldn't afford. It was a perfect evening. He held my hand through all of dinner, and on the drive there, his eyes gleamed excitedly.
I loved seeing him like that. It was way after midnight when we finally made our way back, both being tipsy now. "Now, how do I make up for you being so amazing?" he mumbled and pressed me against him, slowly making our way towards the bedroom, trying not to break anything while getting rid of our shoes and kissing. We both laughed when his shoulder hit the doorframe, but finally, we managed to lie on the bed. There he was, climbing on top of me, his beautiful eyes and lips forming the smile I so deeply fell in love with. It was moments like these why I did it. Why I had come back. Why I stayed, even if he made me cry. This was the guy I loved. "You're mine." he whispered, and I smiled back while pulling up his shirt. "I am."