The Cardinals want to speak to me.
This isn't the first time I've been called to the Council. It's the first time in a long time though, I'll admit that. In the first few years after my kidnap and rescue, I was called to the Council several times. I remember the Childminder who ran the orphanage at the time would walk me from Asmodeus's district all the way to Lucifer's. She would stand outside as I walked in since only the Cardinals and the Citizens they've called can enter the Council.
They rarely asked me about Skye. Not directly, at least. They would ask me what happened to me in the Outside. If any of the people who held me said anything about Skye, about why they took her and what they did with her. They'd ask me who I saw the most and if I knew any names. There was only one name I could give them, a name that has haunted me ever since.
I haven't spoken directly to any of the Cardinals in years, not since I completed my apprenticeship and couldn't stay at the orphanage any longer. I was called to the Council, where Lucifer told me that no one had wanted to move into the apartment that Skye and I shared before she disappeared. No one had even touched it. It was mine if I wanted it.
Everything that I have, everything that I am, I owe to the Cardinals.
It doesn't take me long to get to the Council. From my apartment, it's only a fifteen-minute walk. From the border of Belial's district, where the Messenger caught up with me, it's more like twenty-five. I would have loved to have gone home and got some sleep, but if the Cardinals want to see me now, then I have no room to argue. All I can hope is that they keep this meeting short. The lampposts are already dimming, meaning I was in the hospital for nearly 18 hours.
As I walk up the steps to the Council, I take a deep breath. This isn't the first time I've been to the Council, and I have a feeling that it won't be the last. Not with my sister's legacy following me around. I reach the top step and look up at the door that will lead me to the Cardinals. I enter the Council and walk the long hall to the center of the Council where the Cardinals will be. I stand at the door, as I have many times before, waiting to be called in. They'll know that I've arrived. They always do.
"Enter." With another deep breath, I enter the center of the Council, where I see all seven of the Cardinals sitting on a raised podium. To many, the Cardinals are indistinguishable. They can't tell one from the other. They wear long red cloaks with black sleeves and a black hood. Their back boasts a mixture of black and red that's designed to look like feathers, an homage to their name. In the Outside, I remember looking in the trees, seeing if I could spot a cardinal. I wanted to see what the bird the Cardinals got their name from looked like. I never spotted one.
It's hard for most Citizens to see the differences between the Cardinals, especially seeing that most of their faces are covered by red masks in the shape of a beak. But there is just a little bit of their faces peeking out under the mask. It's to remind the Citizens that despite the abilities they have and the power they wield, they're still human. Some Citizens forget that and aren't able to tell one from the other. But me? I've spent enough time with the Cardinals to easily tell them apart.
Beelzebub is on the far left side. His district houses both Salvia Street and the music station. He's seen as the most carefree of the Cardinals and the one I know the least about. I've never been to his district, same as most. His district may be home to the Invalids, but it is also the source of all music and art in the City. Opinions of Beelzebub and his district are mixed.
Sitting next to him is Asmodeus. The schoolhouse, orphanage, and daycares all called his district home. It was my home for eleven years, from the time I was kidnapped and rescued at six all the way until I completed my apprenticeship at seventeen. He's the angriest of the Cardinals and the most aggressive. Rumor has it that he wanted the Coliseum in his district and spoke out against Lucifer when it was placed in the center of the city. To punish him, he was given a district overrun with children. Asmodeus isn't a fan of children. I remember that all too well. If only he could see that the Citizens consider his district as one of the most important since it's where the next generation is taught and raised.
Directly next to the center on the left is Behemoth. His district holds the maintenance district, where Citizens like Electricians and Plumbers work. His district also holds the most sacred area in the City. The graveyard. All Citizens are cremated and their ashes are spread in the graveyard with a neon statue to remember them by. The statue is shaped like a map of the City, with a plaque underneath with the Citizen's name and lifespan. Of course, certain Citizens get a slightly different treatment. He's easily the proudest of the Cardinals. Proud of himself and of his district.
On the far right side is Belial. His district is where I work, home to both the hospital and the morgue. He's the most compassionate of the Cardinals, and he supposedly chose to have the hospital in his district. But there is no light without the dark. No life without death. And so it is with Belial. To remind the Citizens of their ultimate purpose, the morgue is only a five-minute walk from the hospital. And while Belial is compassionate, when angered, his wrath can put Asmodeus's to shame.
Next to him is Satanus. The courthouse resides in his district, where Citizens who have broken the laws of the City are tried and sentenced. It's also where couples are married and birth certificates are filed. Also in his district, near the Coliseum, is the shopping district where all Citizens get supplies and decorations for their homes. I still love going to the shopping district, walking through the streets and seeing vendors hawking their wares and dipping in and out of stores. But still, Satanus is the strictest of the Cardinals, and his punishments can be severe when he's left to his own devices.
And next to him is the right-hand man of the Cardinal in the center. Or, should I say, right-hand woman. Jezebel is the only female Cardinal, but also the second-most powerful. In her district lies the news station and the Messenger's station. It's where the Messengers report for each shift and get assigned a district before taking off. Any news that the Newscasters present comes from Jezebel. She's also dangerous to be around. She's persuasive. She can get someone to do something they don't want to do by only talking to them for five minutes. There are worse rumors about Jezebel, but I choose not to believe them.
And in the center is the lead Cardinal. Lucifer. His district is the largest and is where the Council resides. It's also where I reside. But Lucifer's district is also the most mysterious. In two corners are two walled-off areas. One we call No Man's Land. No one knows what's inside. All we know is that if a Citizen's crime is severe enough, they'll be sentenced to No Man's Land. No one has ever come back out. And the other we don't have a name for. We don't talk about it. No one knows anything about it, and we don't care to know.
Lucifer himself is the most intelligent and most cunning of the Cardinals. He has all the skills of a leader, and as such, he's also the most powerful. I'm not sure anyone knows the full extent of his power. It's rumored that Lucifer can control a person just by touching them, but no one knows if that's true or not. We've all seen Citizens with the black marks on their neck, but whether Lucifer actually gave them the marks or if they're being controlled, we have no proof. Just rumors.
"You called for me?" I ask, and Lucifer nods. All of the Cardinals look to Lucifer, waiting for him to start. All except for Jezebel, anyway. Her mask sits higher on her face and allows a clear view of her mouth. It allows me to clearly see that she's staring down at me and grinning.
"Yes, Macy. We called you here because we have a problem. A problem with you," Lucifer states, and my heart starts pounding in my chest. What could this possibly be about? I don't think I've broken any laws recently. I haven't done anything wrong that I can think of.
"A-A problem? What do you mean? What's the problem?" I ask, my breath catching in my throat.
"Why were you at the hospital so long today, Dr. Macy?" Belial asks, and I look over at him. Surely this isn't about me working too much overtime, is it?
"I was called very early this morning for an emergency surgery. An Invalid named Zeke had a bad trip on salvia and jumped off a balcony. We don't know how long it was before he was found," I explain.
"And how is it you know this Invalid's name?" Beelzebub asks.
"Because his friend, Connor, was there when I was done with surgery. He was the one to find Zeke and wanted to know if he would make it. Connor was the one who identified him," I answer.
"And why do you care about an Invalid's name?" Jezebel asks in that sugar-sweet voice of hers.
"Because he was my patient. If I can identify a Nameless, I'm going to. All my patients deserve to be identified, Citizen or Invalid."
"And is the Invalid going to make it?" Lucifer asks, but I get the feeling that he already knows the answer. He just wants to hear me say it.
"Yes. It took me twelve hours, but I was able to repair the damage. Most of it. Zeke luckily didn't sustain any brain damage, but unfortunately, his spinal cord was completely severed. He'll never walk again," I tell him.
"And therein lies the problem. Why would you let an Invalid live? Especially knowing he was never going to walk again?" Belial asks, and I turn to him. I raise an eyebrow. What kind of question was that?
"I'm a Doctor. It's my job to heal everyone, regardless of age, gender, or profession. If I can heal someone, Citizen or Invalid, that's what I'm going to do," I answer with conviction.
"And what about all the Citizens that you've turned into Invalids? Citizens who failed their Death and were injured to the point that they couldn't return to their jobs?" Satanus wonders.
"It is my job to heal everyone that comes into the hospital. It's not my fault that they failed at their Death. Would you rather me let them die on the table with no glory? Even an Invalid, if they're lucid enough, can try again at a Death. Most of them just aren't clear-headed to do so," I respond, and everything goes silent for a moment.
"Regardless, we've come to a decision. You've gone too soft. You're allowing people to live that shouldn't live. From this moment on, you are dismissed from your job as a Doctor." And with Lucifer's words, my heart sinks in my chest. No. No. My job is everything. My job is my entire life. Who am I if I'm not a Doctor? Am I just supposed to accept this and become an Invalid? No. There's got to be some way I can change their mind.
"You... you can't do that. You can't fire me for doing my job too well. What about the Angel of Mercy? She did the exact opposite of what I'm doing and look what happened to her," I mentioned. About fourteen years ago, the news was filled with reports on the Angel of Mercy. They never revealed her real name, but they revealed that she had purposefully been killing off her patients. She vanished a day after the initial news report and has never been seen nor heard from since.
"That was a different case. The Angel of Mercy wasn't just letting her patients die, she was killing them off. She had to be removed," Satanus tells me.
"Is that what you would have wanted me to do? Just let them die? Let them die on a cold operating table? Let them die with no glory to their name?" I ask, and Jezebel tilts her head.
"I think anything would have been better than what you did," she responds, and I feel dread settle in my stomach. I'm not going to be able to change their minds. This is happening, and there's nothing I can do to change it.
"There is nothing you can do to change this situation. You are excused," Lucifer tells me with an air of finality. I open my mouth to speak, but I know that there's nothing I can do to change it. If Lucifer says I'm excused, then that means that I have to leave. The Cardinals will not tolerate any further protesting. Keeping my head high, I turn and stride out of the room. I will not let them see me cry.
"Oh, Macy?" I hear Belial say as I reach the edge of the room. I turn slightly, enough for him to know that he's got my attention. "You can leave the coat here." I grasp the sleeve of my coat in my hand, not wanting to give it up. Having to remove my coat is just rubbing salt in the wound. But if Belial tells me to do it, then I have no room to argue. With tears forming in my eyes, I slowly take the coat off and dump it unceremoniously on the floor. I won't take it to them. They can come get it themselves. It's only when I exit the room and the door closes behind me that I let the tears fall from my eyes.
How could this have happened? And what am I supposed to do now? With a start, I think of little Everly. I told her that I was going to see her tomorrow. Would the other Doctors even let me visit her? How am I supposed to explain to her what's happened? That little girl is going to be crushed. And all of my other patients, how are they supposed to get on without me? But most of all, I worry about Zeke. What if the other Doctors refuse to treat him because he's an Invalid?
I can't stop the tears from running down my face as I make the walk home. Being a Doctor was everything to me. It was my purpose, my drive, my reason for living. What am I supposed to live for without it? I can't become an Invalid. I can't leave my life behind to go to Salvia Street. What would I do there? Just take salvia and get high off my ass? Have one bad trip and nearly kill myself like Zeke? No, there has to be something else I can do.
I wipe my eyes as I reach my building. It won't do to let the other residents see me crying. They'll find out soon enough what happened. I'm sure it'll be on the morning news. I slowly take the stairs up, taking a deep breath when I get to my apartment. I can't make any decisions until I get some sleep. Things will look better in the morning. I unlock the door only to find that someone else is already in my apartment.
"Hey," Cassie says, arms crossed over her chest. I place my keys on the table, not even looking at her.
"Hey, sweetheart. Why are you here? Not that I'm not happy to see you, I always am, but I've just had a really trying day and-"
"Yeah. I know," she interrupts me, and I turn my gaze to her. What does she mean, she knows? What does she know? "You got fired, from what I heard."
"How do you know that?"
"It was on the news."
"How could it be on the news? I just found out thirty minutes ago!" I exclaim, before taking a deep breath. It wouldn't do to yell at Cassie. It wasn't her fault. None of this was her fault, and there was nothing she could do to help me. But maybe with her standing by my side, I'll be able to figure out what to do next.
"Maybe they just wanted to let you finish out your shift," she suggests, and I shrug. I open my mouth to speak, but before I can, a small voice rings out from another room.
"MACY!" In a blur of brown hair, Eliot is hugging my legs, excitedly chanting my name. I ruffle his hair and he looks up at me, putting his arms up. I do as he bids and pick him up, setting him on my hip. His arms wrap around my neck as he lays his head on my shoulders. "Did you know I'm three?"
"I did know that! You're getting so big," I say, turning back to Cassie. "So, is that what you're here for? To talk about me losing my job?" Cassie looks at the ground, her lips tightening to form a thin line.
"Partially. There's another matter I need to discuss with you," she says, and I raise an eyebrow. "Eliot, would you go back into the other room? Macy and I have grown-up issues to discuss."
"Okay, Mama," he responds. I put him down as he begins to squirm and he takes off into the other room.
"So, what is it that you want to discuss?" I ask, and Cassie looks down at the ground, clearing her throat. When she looks back up, her eyes are filled with tears.
"Macy, I love you, you know that. We've been best friends since we were little girls and you were there for me when Eliot's father died. But... this can't go on," she tells me, and I swallow. This didn't sound good.
"What do you mean?" I ask, and then it hits me. "Are you... are you breaking up with me?"
"I can't... I can't go through that again..."
"Cassie, what are you talking about?"
"You lost your job, Macy," she says.
"I can get another one."
"You know that's not how it works. You have one job until your Death. And if you lose your job before then, you become an Invalid," she reminds me, and I sigh. "I can't watch that happen to you."
"Nothing's going to happen to me!" I exclaim, even though we both know it's a lie.
"There are only two options. Either you'll complete your Death, or you'll slowly become a shell of yourself, a druggie on Salvia Street. I can't watch either of those things happen. I can't let Eliot watch them. I have to think of my son," she tells me. "I'm sorry, Macy, but my mind is made up. Eliot, come here!" I try to think of something to say, something to change her mind, but all that comes out is a sob as tears run down my face.
"Macy, why are you crying?" Eliot asks when he enters the room.
"Cassie, please don't do this. I can't lose my job and you on the same day," I beg, but she just looked down, trying to hide the tears on her face.
"Eliot, come on. We're going home," she says, and though Eliot tried to argue, Cassie stopped him with a look, and all I can do is try to choke down my tears. It's only when the door closes behind them, completely cutting them out of my life, that I collapse to the floor and start to sob. This morning I had everything. I had a job, a woman, and a child that I loved. And now?
Now I have nothing.
What am I supposed to do next? Accept this fate? Accept that I've lost everything I love and make my way down to Salvia Street? Connor said that they take care of their own down on Salvia Street, so perhaps they'll take care of me. Maybe Connor will even vouch for me since I saved Zeke's life. But, deep in my heart, I know I can't do that. I can't let myself fall so far. If I go to Salvia Street, chances are Cassie's prediction will come true. I'll most likely become a druggie, wandering Salvia Street as my mind resides in some far and distant place. I don't want to go out like that.
As I lay on the floor, sobbing, I realize with startling clarity that there's only one thing I can do now. There's only one thing I can do that will let me decide my own fate. That'll let me go out in my own way. And, if I do it right, it'll even let me take back all of the glory I've lost today.
It's time for me to complete my Death.