Milton Keynes is where I spent Christmas 2022. In January, I did not expect that to be the case. I did not expect that I would not be home for Christmas. I did not expect that I would be going to a near place, for my New Year celebration. I did not expect that Leah Williamson would be my girlfriend. It all felt too surreal; it was nothing like I had suspected.
When I moved to Arsenal, I did so in the worst conditions one could move. I had just broken up with my girlfriend; my father (who I would never call a dad) had just died; I had been hospitalized only recently. But life soon turned. It changed for the better and only because she was there. Obviously, there were still issues (as one can see) but those issues have been somewhat nullified.
We drove up to Leah's family home. I had been there before but I was told Christmas was an experience in the Williamson household. I laughed only slightly as she told me this, not wanting to feel even more like a fish out of the water than I already was. She held my hand as she drove, squeezing it softly every now and again. I could always breathe when she was here. I felt no longer like the villain, but the princess. I didn't feel like the wicked witch, but rather Dorothy (although, that analogy may be void if one knows Wicked (which I do only because Finn loved the musical as a kid)).
Leah explained every family member that would be in attendance for Christmas, from Great Uncles to Great Nieces, to Grandfathers, in-laws, and long-lost cousins. She switched her language up very quickly after saying "long lost" but I didn't care. That was long over now; I no longer worried about that in my heart or my head.
We drove up on the 24th, giving ourselves a day without training, or family. Just me and Leah. It was necessary; it was nice.
I had stopped drinking, telling Leah that we should both go on a 'health detox'. It was just a cover; it worked though as no alcohol, or any sugar for that matter, was nowhere in our apartment. She bought it, and I was glad. I needed her to remain oblivious.
When we arrived in Milton Keynes, at the Williamson family home, I was greeted by Amanda, who embraced me in a hug, before even reaching her daughter. I knew I shouldn't think the way I do, but ever since I met Amanda, I wondered what I did wrong with my mum. I wondered where I failed her. She never loved me the way Amanda loved Leah. she never showed me the care that I saw Amanda give Leah. It felt more one-sided. I gave my everything to my mum and got very little back. The only thing I ever did right, in her eyes, was make Ellie the younger daughter she never had.
And we live with that mistake (if that's what you could call it).
"How are you both?" Amanda asked as we walked in. Two teas were waiting for us, and a ham sandwich for Leah. I politely declined, many months earlier, any possible option for a ham sandwich in the future (I had had too many during my childhood that the thought repulsed me. Leah frowned upon this thought.)
"Tired," Leah said, crashing down on the couch, but not before grabbing the plate from the table.
"She complains about driving, but still won't let me," I laughed, kissing the top of her head, before heading into the kitchen with Amanda. Leah sat chatting with her dad; watching them only reminded me of what I had missed out.
"You okay?" Amanda asked as she saw me watching, peering, looking.
"Oh, yeah," I smiled. "I love how close they are."
"Would be closer if Leah was a Tottenham player," Amanda joked, "but yes, it's better than the opposite." I knew she meant nothing by that but something in my heart churned once I realized I was the opposite. I was what could've been if the worst was to happen.
That evening, I sat cross-legged on Leah's double bed from her teenage years. She was brushing through her hair, after only just washing it. I was flipping through some very embarrassing magazines that she had stored on her bedside table.
"So, you were a Bieber girl?" I asked, turning the We Love Pop magazine towards her.
"Hardly," she said, going red. "He just had some good music."
"Like what? Beauty and the Beat," I laughed.
"I'm surprised you even know of that song, considering I don't think any folky artists condone the Biebs." I threw the magazine at her, playfully, and she looked back towards me. "You are going to regret that." She stood up, coming over to me, before pinning me down. I tried fighting it, and to be honest, I should've been able to beat her, but my laughs counteracted any energy or strength I had.
"Say sorry," Leah demanded, smiling at me. Our faces were only an inch apart. I looked into her eyes, seeing love, hope, a future.
"Um, I'm sor- unfortunately, I don't regret my decision," I said, teasing her. I tried leaning up, wanting to plant a soft kiss on her lips to try to sway her off of me.
"Don't you think a kiss will solve this!" Leah replied, moving away. She soon got off me, but I grabbed after her, planting many kisses on her cheek, forehead, neck, and finally, as I reached her lips, she couldn't help but smile and kiss me back.
The next morning, we woke up and it was Christmas. It was normally a day I dreaded. While Eden was still at home, it was a day when my father was given even more incentive to drink, and no one could say anything. Once she left, it was a day of mourning (not the dead, but the forgotten). And once everyone's lives had evolved, it was the day when I felt most alone, as Finn was with his girlfriend, I was estranged from my sisters, and never liked my mother. I'd often go with Ellie, and be with her family, but now, as I look back on it, I felt more like a burden than a pleasure. I hated feeling like that.
Before we went downstairs, Leah stopped me, pulling me aside before we went outside.
"I got you something." She handed me a gift. "Happy Christmas," she said to me, passing me the small box. As I opened it, a small, dainty ring was inside. It was a gold band, with small diamonds placed inside the side. "It's not, you know, an engagement ring or anything," she said, wanting to make it clear that she was not thinking that far ahead. "But, you know, I saw it in the antique store, in London, and thought- thought you may like it."
I took the ring out of the box, placing it on my middle finger. It slid on perfectly, and I looked at my girl.
"Thank you." I kissed her, with passion and love, wanting her to feel my gratitude.
I went to my bag, pulling out my gift for her too. It was nothing as spectacular as what she got me, but a simple necklace, with a ruby, and white diamond, for Arsenal and also for us. She was the Angel, and maybe I was the devil (although that is up to interpretation).
"I love it," she said, smiling at me. She turned around, wanting me to put it on her, and I did, kissing her cheek afterwards, before pulling her down the stairs, knowing we had to join the family. It was Christmas.
We spent the day eating an amazing Christmas dinner, playing board games, and admiring the cold English weather.
"I have never had a Christmas this cold," I exclaimed.
"Huh?" some of Leah's family members asked.
"I've never had a cold winter, it's always been, you know, hot." Everyone laughed, not understanding the gravity of the weather on an Australian Christmas. "It can get to around 40, on a good one."
"40? Celsius?" Jacob exclaimed.
"Yes, celsius." I laughed at this comment. "I miss the beach."
"Well, I would take you to one, but probably a little too cold," Leah said, holding my hand under the table as we played Monopoly.
"Yeah, I don't think I want to in this weather anyways." We continued the games. I lost every time but my competitive nature was not as strong as that of Leah's family.
We went to bed that evening, our stomachs full of food, and our hearts filled with love. It was perfect. One of the best days ever.
The next week, we spent training at home, doing some at-home workouts, and going to the local pitch with our balls. Leah showed me where she first started to play football. Seeing someone's beginnings and their presents always feels surreal. A little girl from Milton Keynes, playing on the football pitches filled with mud and no grass, ended up captain of England. I was always proud of her for that.
"Get in the box, and get your head on this," I said, demandingly, as I set up to practice a corner. I took this very seriously (both sarcastically and not), lining up the corner before taking a few steps back. I put one hand in the air, and run up, kicking it in towards where Leah was pretending to be marked. She did a pop-out, before running back in, to head it behind. We celebrated like it was a real goal, running up to each, and falling to the ground. We didn't care that we landed in the mud (although future me probably would as getting mud stains out of clothing has always been a hatred of mine) but were just content in having fun. I liked having fun with her. I liked being with her.
"You're such a weirdo," I said, as she scrapped a little mud on my nose. I was laying beside her, our hands interlocked.
"But I'm your weirdo," she replied.
"But you're my weirdo," I repeated, leaning over and placing a small kiss on her nose.
It was soon New Year's Eve, and we headed down to London, wanting to experience the whole of London as it awaited the New Year. We went to stand along the Thames, to watch the firework display. Jacob came with us, along with Amanda and Leah's grandma. Although it was busy, we found a good spot, that gave us a clear view to the water, and Tower Bridge.
"After this, bar?" I said, cheekily.
"You want to drink?" she asked. "I thought we were both on a detox."
"For the vibes," I exclaimed. "Not the alcohol." Leah laughed, and as I suggested the bar, I didn't think of the drinks that would be there. I thought more of the fun adventure we may be able to have. I was always down for an adventure.
The firework display was immense, with the Lionesses even getting their own little mention. As soon as I heard the commentary from the Euro final, I turned to Leah. She was smiling as she watched it all play out in front of her, most probably reliving the most incredible moment in her life. I wanted a moment like that. I wanted the Matildas to feel that. The honour. The pride.
As the clock struck midnight, I turned to her. I tucked the piece of her blonde hair behind her ear.
"Happy New Year," I said, smiling at her.
"Happy New Year," she replied, kissing me. I felt the salt on her lips, and the love in her heart. She was perfect. We could be perfect, as long as I didn't ruin anything.
Come January 1st, I posted a few photos on my Instagram. The First was of me, playing in one of the final games of the season against Lyon. The second was of the sunset (basic, I know, but we all need basic photos in a dump). The third was of the busy London streets on New Year's Eve. The fourth was of Leah and the rest of her family playing Monopoly. The fifth was a selfie I took of Leah and me in the mud. The sixth was a cute photo Jacob took of me and Leah as we had our New Year's kiss. The seventh was of me and Steph on the bus, smiling at the camera. The eighth was of me hugging Beth, with Viv beside her, as she was starting rehab in the gym. The ninth was of me on FaceTime with Finn, showing me their new puppy, Fia. And the tenth was a photo of Leah holding my hand, as she drove in the car. It was cute, and natural, and exactly what I loved and wanted.
Tippsjonesy: can we go back to december?
Leahwilliamsonn: lifetime to go
Stephcatley: lots of love! Australia is missing u!!
Bethmead_: love u my tipps
Samanthakerr20: london looks goooooooood on u
Liawalti: cutie pies
The break was soon coming to a close, and as I looked at our upcoming schedule I realized something both good and bad. Our next game would be against the Emirates but against one of our biggest rivals. Against one of my close friends. Chelsea. It would be interesting.
note:
- nice cute fun chapter for u lot! hope u slay away. any thoughts about what is going to happen? how will all be revealed? will all be revealed? is tippah really the villain in her own story?
- two more assignments n then winter break woo hoo
- 2 months off... i need it! anyways, live laugh love!
- also peep chapter title... ;)