I knocked three times on Dativa's door.
A whole minute flew by before my best friend pulled open.
She looked exhausted; dressed in leggings and a top, her 4C curls all over the place. I didn't have to ask to know that I had interrupted her work out session. Or yoga?
Our eyes met as I tried to find words to say but failed and instead, I turned into a sobbing mess. I guess I had been holding it back too hard.
"Avery . . . "
Her body glistened with sweat but I didn't care. I fell into her and she immediately engulfed me in a bear hug.
I cried my eyes out onto her shoulder.
I expected her to pull away and pester me about it, but she didn't. Dativa simply dragged us inside her apartment, pushed the door closed with one of her hand while holding me with the other, and then hugged me even tighter, caressing my back.
I forced myself not to think of my mother and even Phoebe, but the latter was rather hard to get out of my head, for obvious reasons.
Maybe it would be better if Mama didn't see me for a while. Or perhaps forever.
Whatever Phoebe thought of me right now . . . I could guess it.
Dishonest.
That's what she's probably thinking.
Dishonest. Dishonest. Dishonest.
As fast as I earned her trust, the faster I was going to lose it. Maybe I had already lost it.
Was she mad at me? Did she think of me as one of her stupid, untrustworthy friends now? Did I still have a chance to redeem myself? Did she think I meant any harm?
I didn't want her to think she wasn't safe with me. I wanted her to trust me. I wanted her to feel the same way I felt for her.
But the question was: What the hell did I even feel for her?
At first it was infatuation. Some sort of craving for special attention. Then it turned into love. I believe. And I thought it could never get any worse than that. But it did.
My feelings had morphed into something else. Something more than mere love.
Telepathic companionship. Soul intimacy.
But were soulmates chosen? I had a firm belief that they were destined.
Were the feelings even mutual?
Worse-be with Phoebe or make my mother happy? I felt forced to make a choice between the two options, even though they should have nothing to do with each other.
"I missed you," Dativa muttered when I finally calmed down. "Haven't seen you at college for a while. Everything okay?"
We were sitting on the couch. My hands holding a glass of water she had served me while both of hers were on me. One at the small of my back and the other squeezing my knee now and then, the spot reminding me of no one other than the blue-eyed goddess.
I appreciated Dativa's attempt to comfort me, but as soon as I finished drinking the water, I placed the glass on the table and moved her hand away from my knee. The touch burned too much déjà vu for me to handle, and I needed to unwind.
"I know," I sighed. "And yes, everything is okay. Except me."
Sadness crossed her facial features and, once again, she pulled me into an embrace.
But I wasn't crying anymore. I ran out of tears an hour ago and now I simply held her back and felt grateful for having such an understanding, sweet friend like Dativa.
"You'll be okay too, Aves," she murmured.
Dativa didn't let go until I let go first.
The air had cleared up a bit, and I was glad about it. Maybe crying it all out does help.
"Sorry for ruining your . . . " I gestured over her.
"Work out?" she chuckled a little. "C'mon, don't be like that. You know it's okay."
She was never 'not okay' when it came to me.
"Of course," I stated, sarcastic. "I'm your best friend, after all. Keeping me in check is like paying your bills."
"Oh, really?" She laughed. "I guess somebody is in a good mood now."
I side-eyed her. She quickly held her hands up, taking my warning of not bringing up the subject right now. Like I said, I needed to unwind. I needed some time off.
"Can I crash here for a while?" I asked after she put down her hands.
"Darling, you can always crash here. It's your damn second home," she plainly stated, wearing an irritated face as if it was something she had to repeat to me every day.
What, I just wanted permission. Even though we all knew I didn't need it, care about it, or even listen to her if she ever told me to go somewhere else.
Dativa took the glass back to the kitchen, and I sat there wondering how she got so lucky to live six hours away from her parents and family. Even luckier, she lived alone.
When she came back, I finally noticed the mess of a thicket that was on top of her head. I bursted out laughing.
"What now?" She stood midway, akimbo.
Her contorted face made her look even funnier.
"Nothing, your hair is just-" I tried to think of the right word to describe it, but only ended up in hysterics.
"Oh my god," she rolled her eyes mockingly. "Weren't you crying like a baby a second ago? And now you're all over the place shedding tears for a whole other reason."
I couldn't stop laughing.
Dativa stood there and watched me with a stupid smile on her face until I died down.
* * *
The hem of my yellow dress, ripped. My red sneakers soiled with mud.
My face was sticky, my knees ached, and a line of sweat streamed down from the back of my thigh to my ankle.
I could never hide, could I?
They could find me. And they will always chase at me.
Their target.
A monster.
"Run!" a woman's voice echoed through my ears and I moved on cue. "You can't let them catch you!"
I couldn't do it, but I had to.
The trees stood closer and closer to each other the more I moved forward. It's like they were trying to block my way. Still, I squeezed myself between any space I could find. Anything to get away from the faraway sounds of footsteps that were scurrying after me.
My legs felt like noodles and I bit the inside of my cheek hard enough to draw blood, all to put my mind at ease.
"Faster!" the woman's voice pestered. "You have to get away or they'll do to you what they did to me!"
I was chasing on my life; it was something more than just surviving. I needed to move. I didn't want them to catch me and do to me whatever they did to her. Who knew what they did to her.
The darkness hovered over me as I kept running.
Then my feet gave away, I fell.
Knees scratching hard onto the ground and fingers sinking into the puddles of mud.
I glanced back at the approaching shadows and wished the moon was out so I could make out their faces. Who were they? And why were they after me so badly?
But before I could think of anything else, I was hit solid over the face.
"No!" I heard the woman scream.
The action was hard enough to swoop me over, leaving me landing flat on the soggy soil. My braids smeared by the dark brown and the yellow of my dress turned into a color I couldn't name.
"Surrender to your master." A black veiled man stood before me with a baseball bat in hand.
Dizzy, I struggled to get up. Only to be hit again.
"C'mon, girl-You can do this!"
Whoever the woman was, she was nowhere to be seen. Only her voice found my ears. "Don't let them take you!"
I was hanging by a thread.
Whoever my master was, what was their intention? And why was this woman urging me on when my death was inevitable?
"Give in to me, Bratty!" The man knocked me with his bat again. Harder this time.
What was more concerning . . . the fact that I knew there was only one man who called me that or that I was sure I was going to die?
I could feel my unconsciousness seeping through, taking my sight away.
"McQuinn," I let out his name like a curse before spitting the blood out of my mouth. My arms trembled as I forced them to lift me up again, even though I knew they obviously couldn't.
I couldn't, but Medusa could.
"You can't win this fight." he pushed back his hood and revealed his face. As if I didn't hate this reunion enough. "You belong to me. You are nothing but a pet."
My breathing decelerated, and I used the rest of my energy to inhale as much air as I could so I could fill myself up with oxygen, even though I could barely take anything anymore.
With the little air I had, I tried to summon the gorgon within me. But when nothing came out, tears spilled down my eyes.
The rest of the hooded men positioned themselves at their master's background, observing me.
Strivoda . . . Please.
Mikeus. Kavenile.
"I need you," I let out a whispery cry.
I needed Medusa to save me.
I needed her now.
"Finish her." McQuinn's voice rumbled an order before he gestured over someone behind him.
A dark figure moved forward, replacing McQuinn's.
Slowly, they moved their veil out of their face before holding a gun to my head.
My eyes met a pair of striking blue ones.
Phoebe?
I let out a loud gasp at the same time she pulled the trigger, and suddenly I was sitting up on Dativa's bed.
Face wet, blood rushing, and mouth agape.
"Avery?" Dativa eyed me in worry, hand on my arm.
My breathing went rigid from the snapshots my brain waves were sending back to me from my previous nightmare.
"You had been crying and shuffling in your sleep. Are you okay?"
I couldn't speak. I felt numb.
Like a telepath, Dativa pulled me close to her and hugged me.
"Avery, it's okay."
I was crying. Again.
Except that this time it was in the middle of the night.
"Shh," she lay us down and snuggled me farther into her embrace, despite how much my body shook. "It's okay. Don't cry, it was just a dream."
It was just a dream. It's okay.
I kept repeating Dativa's words in my mind over and over until I fell asleep.