Atlas
"I've told him over and over to just leave me alone, but he keeps pushing." Stacy complains, walking with me to our last class of the day. "It's kind of sweet, how persistent he's been. Maybe he really wants to get to know me. Should I give him a chance?" She asks, clutching her backpack closer to her body as she ponders over what she wants to do. I don't know how to tell her not to go for it, that all he wants is her v-card.
"You know what he wants, Stace, and it isn't to get to know you." I open a door, holding it open for her. I step in next. "I don't know him well enough to make assumptions, but I know the rumors and I know the people he hangs out with well enough to say that I don't think you should do it."
We're walking through the athletic hallway to get to the music hallway. This school is just as appreciative of the arts as it is sports, which is one thing I will thank Forests parents for. Though, I'm sure they didn't do it because that's what they believe in, but because they'll get more attention from it. More students, more money, etc.
"What rumors have you heard?" She asks, her wide brown eyes staring up at me in shock.
"I heard that Jackson forced a girl to go down on him, filmed it too. Again, they're just-" A hand latches on to my shoulder before I can finish my sentence, slamming me into the wall. I hear Stacy gasp, falling to the ground from being caught in the cross fire. That was a mistake.
My vision blurs, my brain exists my body. I grab the person by the throat and push them into the other wall. I squeeze, closing their air duct. I don't know what's come over me, I don't know why I'm doing this. All I know is that I wish I could stop. I don't want to be violent. My breathing gets heavy, I squeeze harder.
"Atlas! Stop!" I hear a deep voice shout at me, a hand pulling at my wrist. His voice. His hands. My breathing slows again, and my brain comes back down. My vision clears. I'm holding Jackson Anderson by the neck. Forest is to my left, pulling at my wrist, begging me to stop. I let go immediately. I turn towards him, wide eyed.
Jade green eyes sparkle at me, they're worried for me. He cares about me. As he's calming me down, he's also distracting me, giving Jackson time to rear is fist back and slam it into my face, just short of my nose. My face snaps to the side, my cheek burning. I love it because I'm feeling something. I wait for him to hit me again, reveling in the feel of it. I let him continue to throw punches at me, one after another.
"You have no right to be spreading lies like that, not when you're a fairy." Another punch. "You probably have a stupid crush on me, huh? Wish I was obsessed with you instead? Faggot!" I hear him yell, I smile. I'm sure I look savage. There's blood dripping down my face, I'm getting beaten, and I'm smiling.
"Jackson! Stop it, now." I don't recognize Forests voice, it's dangerously deep, like he's challenging Jackson to continue.
"What? Are you gay now too? Pathetic." Jackson spits, stoping for a minute, and looking back at his best friend. I hunch against the wall, trying to find myself. He punches me again, Forest steps forward and grabs Jackson, throwing him onto the ground.
It all happens so fast, too fast for my dizzy brain to register. Forest is beating Jackson up now, hitting him so hard with calculated punches and kicks, I wouldn't be shocked if he killed him. Stacy is long gone, probably running to get a teacher. I slide down the wall, my ass hitting the ground. I don't move to stop him, I sit and watch the show.
Would it be bad to say that I find this extremely attractive? His blonde hair is slick with sweat, his green eyes dark and blazing with anger. His muscles are straining in his tight shirt as he delivers punch after punch. I wouldn't mind it if he punched me like that to be completely honest.
A teacher runs over, grabbing Forest and pulling him off Jackson. Grabbing them by the backs of their shirts, the teacher pulls them up and whisks them towards the main office. Before they disappear, Forest turns his head to look at me, concern for me in his eyes. He just got into a serious fight with his best friend, and yet he's still worried about me.
It's in this moment that I know I'm falling for him, and hard. I know Forest, and I know it had to have been hard for him to cross his best friend like that. To give up his reputation, everything he's worked hard to keep under wraps, gone. The mask he's built was torn off today, and that must have been difficult for him to handle. Not to mention, he just broke a rule for me, which will inevitably be reported back to his parents. He's going to get in so much trouble, but he didn't care, because he was sticking up for me.
"What just happened?" Stacy asks from beside me, giving me her hand to help pull me off the ground. I stand up, grabbing my bag off the ground, and walk it off like nothing happened.
"I have no idea." I say, looking back to where Forest was just taken. I hope he will be okay.
Later that day, when I'm sitting outside, a knock sounds on my door. I startle, no one ever knocks on my bedroom door. I take a puff of the cigarette I had in my mouth one more time, then put it out, stuffing it in my pocket to deal with later. I climb off the roof and into my room through the window, shutting and locking it. I stalk over to my bedroom door just as someone knocks on it again, I open it, not shocked to see Athena standing on the other side.
"What?" I ask softly, never raising my voice.
"There's a very handsome boy downstairs, he said he was looking for you." She whispers back.
"You let him in the house?" I whisper yell. She shrugs, walking off to her room across the hall from mine. I sigh, practically running downstairs to get to him. Forest is standing in the entrance of my house, looking at the basically ancient photos hanging on the wall. He's looking at my childhood, which would make me extremely uncomfortable with anyone else, but nothing ever makes me uncomfortable when it's him.
He looks dangerous with a bruise on the side of his face and a frown tugging at his lips, his hair is wet from what must have been a shower. Dangerously hot, I must say. I grab his arm and pull him out of the house, embarrassed that he even saw it in the first place. It's not the house I'm embarrassed of, it's a normal looking house, it's the memories and the dark vibe it holds. All the secrets laying within. It's my motionless father rocking back and forth on a rocking chair right in the living room. And he saw it.
"You can't be here." I tell him softly, closing my front door and stepping out on the porch with him. His frown deepens. I'd do anything to wipe it off and make him smile again.
"Why not?" He runs his finger through his hair and I swear I almost die. Oh to replace his fingers with mine.
"Because....I..." I can't find the words right now. I can't focus with his eyes on me like this, all green and beautiful. "Because." Is all I end up saying. I'm an idiot. He grins, looking like a beautiful devil. His look catches me off guard, because he always carries the vibe of a golden retriever. This is not giving golden retriever. It's insanely attractive.
"Your eyes are pretty." He blurts out, as if our minds are linked. We were thinking the same thing. My insides melt, old wounds healing.
"People always call them freaky."
"People are stupid." People don't see me the way you see me, I want to say. His pretty eyes scan my face. His grin disappears, his eyes fill with concern again. "Have you not taken care of those wounds?"
"Oh, no. I'm sure they'll be fine." I shrug, kicking a rock at my feet, trying to distract myself from wanting to kiss him so bad.
"Come on, let's go inside, I'll take care of you." I says, like he didn't just completely turn my insides to goo. Inside. I look away from the rock and up at him with what I know has to be uncertainty.
"I don't know.." I mutter, looking into the window and seeing my dad in the same position.
"I've already seen everything I know you want to hide, Atlas. I really don't care. Just let me help you?" He grabs my chin to bring my eyes to his face, he leaves his hands there a second too long to be considered normal, and not long enough in my book. Electricity shoots through my face, my cheeks heating embarrassingly red. Suddenly, he quickly pulls away as if he's been electrocuted.
"Okay." I say, because I can't say no to him when he's looking like that at me, smelling so good, and standing so close. I can't ever say no to him anyway. He could ask me to burn the world for him, and I'd do everything in my power to make that happen.
I open the front door for him, waiting for him to step inside first before I follow after. I close the front door and lock it. Dad knows if it's unlocked. I grab Forest's hand and pull him up the stairs as quickly as I can, taking him to the bathroom so he can take care of me. I wonder if he even realized he said that, and if he knew how much it would affect me.
I open the cabinet above the bathroom sink, pulling out the first aid kit and handing it to him, sitting on the toilet so he can reach my face properly. We're basically the same height, but I want it to be comfortable for him. He grabs a bottle of god knows what and put some on a cotton ball, then he steps closer to me and starts applying it to the cuts on my face.
"Tell me if it hurts." He says, and I nod. Though I won't tell him that it hurts because then he will stop touching my face, and I'd die before I let him stop doing that. "I met your sister. She's sweet."
"Don't lie. Her ego is big enough." I say, even though he's right, she is sweet. However, she's my sibling, and it is my duty to bully her endlessly. He laughs, and I know my comment was worth the mouth full I'm going to get from Athena later, because I already know she's eavesdropping.
"You guys have such unique names. They're very pretty."
"My mother was obsessed with mythology, and the ocean." I smile a little, remembering the mom she used to be. So carefree, happy. A ball of sunshine she was. That was before.
"I saw the pictures of your mom in your entryway, she was very pretty. I see where you guys get it from." He finishes cleaning up, throwing the cotton balls away and putting the first aid kit inside the cabinet. He leans against the wall across from me. Meanwhile, I'm still processing I see where you guys get it from. "What's wrong with your dad?" He asks softly, afraid to know my answer or my reaction, I don't entirely know.
"He's high as kite, that's what. He doesn't leave that chair and I doubt he ever will. Not since mom died." I say bitterly, hoping he doesn't catch on to that fact.
"I'm so sorry, Atlas. That's a lot to go through, especially at your age." His words hit me like a fright train. No one's ever considered how I might feel.
"Yeah, well, it is what it is." I brush him off, hating myself for it. I leave the bathroom and lead him into my room. Of course, he instantly starts looking around.
My walls are covered in posters of my favorite bands, Christmas lights stringed around my room, and fake vines hanging from my ceiling. My skate boards and vinyls line another wall, and my drum set plus guitar are sitting pretty in the corner opposite my bed. My room holds the inner workings of my brain. It's where I spend most of my time, it's my safe place.
"You should teach me how to skateboard someday." He says, running his hand over my favorite one. I smile.
"Yeah. I would like that." I walk over to my window, opening it up. It's nighttime now, and this is the perfect time to sit outside on the roof. "Follow me." I tell him, climbing through the window. I sit on the edge of the roof and turn around to watch him copy me. His face is full of wonder as he looks up at the sky, his eyes sparkling and a beautiful smile on his face.
We lay down and watch the stars in comfortable silence for a while, just basking in each other's company. My mind is so quiet, I think that I could die peacefully right now. I don't know what's making me stay so grounded at the moment, but I have a sneaky suspicion it has something to do with the boy laying next to me.
"See that star, right there." He says pointing at the sky, directing my attention to a certain star. "It's called Sirius. It's the biggest star, and it's located in the Canis Major constellation." I smile at him, not even looking at the star. I love that he knows random facts like this, it's something no one would know about him but me. I cherish that.
"It's beautiful." I say, staring straight at him. He notices, glancing over at me. He quickly looks at the stars again, flustered. I smile, loving that I have the same affect on him that he has on me. "How are you holding up, love?" I ask him, earning his attention once more.
"With what?" I love the way he blushes when I call him that.
"I figured getting into a fight like that with your best friend must have been hard. Are you okay?" I ask, keeping my voice low, trying to make it as soothing as possible so he will open up to me.
"I'll be okay. It was the wake up call I needed, if we're being honest. I shouldn't be friends with people like that." He says quietly, trying play if off like he isn't as affected as he is, but I can see right through him. "It is hard, though. I've known him my whole life, and it will be so weird having to pretend like I don't know him. And his family? God, they're more of a family to me than mine ever was." He says sadly, and all I want to do is hug him.
"What kind of trouble did you get in for the fight?" I ask him.
"Only a weeks worth of detention, considering it's a first offense. Plus, my names on the damn building." He watches me pull a lighter out of my pocket and toy with it, lighting it up and blowing it out. "They called my parents, though. They haven't contacted me yet, so I can only assume they're on their way home to deal with me. Don't expect any phone calls from me for a while, or that I'll have any time after school." I nod, understanding how strict his parents are. If I could take even a sliver of what he's going to go through, I would.
I light the lighter again, bringing the flame up to his lips so he can blow it out. I watch his lips closely as he does it, they're so full and pink and kissable. His hair is soft, his eyes are pretty, and he smells so good. I know I've said that over and over again, I just can't express how much he's taking over every sense I have. Sight, hearing, smell, touch. If only we could cover taste.
"Fuck it." I say, grabbing his face and crashing my lips down onto his, the lighter falling from my hand. They're just as soft as they look, molding with mine perfectly, like they were made for each other. Goosebumps spread throughout my entire body, explosions and electricity joining the party. God, I didn't know kissing someone could feel like this.
It takes a few seconds for his shock to fade away, and once it does, he starts to kiss me back. I scoot closer, my hands traveling to his silky hair. Yup, just as soft as it looks. His tongue enters my mouth shortly after, finding mine and unleashing something I never knew I had within me. He tastes like everything I can't describe, desire and built up tension. Passion. Something fruity, and something so uniquely him. I start to wonder if I'll ever be able to let him go, if he's even feeling remotely what I'm feeling right now.
Eventually we part for air, and I've never cursed needing oxygen more in my entire life. However, we don't move away from each other. We stare into each others souls, trying to understand how the other is real. My chest is beating rapidly with my heart, my breathing uneven and fast. His cheeks are flushed and his lips are swollen. It's a beautiful sight. I scan his face, trying to burn this image into my memory, and I can only hope I get another chance to relive this experience.
I will do everything in my power to make this boy mine. Now that I know what he tastes like, I could never let him go. I'm obsessed, like an addiction. And I plan to get my fix.
6/8/23