Kyra
*******
I remained standing for a few more moments, watching Azure's stiff form as she pushed past the crowd and out the door. I could feel a few curious eyes on me -- perhaps wondering if I would pursue my distraught friend -- but for once, I just sat back down and drove my spoon into my porridge. Azure could sort out her own shit and, knowing her, she wouldn't accept my help anyway.
I could feel a particular pair of eyes on me in the din, and I looked up beneath lowered brows to find Faelen sitting at the front of the room, his gaze locked on mine. Something desperate seemed to shift in his expression as we locked eyes, and I could see his mouth in the process of forming silent words before I looked away. Whatever he had to say, I didn't want to hear it. Not when his insults still stung like fresh wounds.
I stared bitterly down at my porridge. Given everything I'd been through, a few playground insults about my looks shouldn't have had much impact. And yet... they had, all because they'd come from his mouth. Because he was one of the few people I'd opened up to since Azriel's betrayal, one of the only ones I'd really started to trust, and he'd just gone ahead and shattered it like it was nothing.
My eyes stung. I take a spoonful of my porridge. It tastes like cardboard in my mouth.
Just then, a Gamma rushed into the room, and I watched as he approached the head table, bowed, then whispered something into Alpha Osyn's ear. The Alpha's beady eyes widened before he turned to his wife and muttered something, standing a moment later. Luna Darla stood as well, along with several others at the table -- including Faelen -- their expressions somewhat alarmed. All of them except Luna Darla turned to leave -- drawing a lot of curiosity from those in the Dining Hall -- as the Luna herself started making her way down the rows of tables. Her ice-blue eyes were solemn, and when I realised she was approaching me, I steadily rose to my feet.
Once within earshot, she whispered, "War Room, Kyra. I'm afraid there's been a development."
I swallowed thickly, nodding as I followed Luna Darla out of the room. Many eyes were on us now, but I chose to ignore them, my mind whirring with the possibilities. Had something happened? Was it to do with Azriel? Were Alia and Zion okay?
The latter made my stomach twist, but I buried my apprehension as best as I could and schooled my features into neutrality. I couldn't start panicking now, not when I didn't even know what this was about.
Me and the Luna walked in silence, all the way out the dining hall and into the white-tiled lobby. We made it to the carved wooden double doors of the War Room, and I shot her an uncertain look as we pushed them open.
The distress was immediately apparent. Alpha Osyn was pacing around the war table, yelling at his Gammas and pulling his hair all the while. When the door banged shut behind us, his black eyes whipped towards me. I could also sense Faelen looking at me, but I chose to ignore it, instead striding up to the Alpha. "What's the problem?"
Alpha Osyn growled, but I could tell it was not directed at me. "Those goddamn Southerners. They've breached some of our outposts. They've killed off a good ten percent of our population right under our damn noses!" He yelled, bashing his fist down on the table so hard the wood splintered. He whipped back to me, his face red with rage and despair. "Women. Children. You name it -- they killed them."
"Who?" I asked, my heart sinking, but I was afraid I already knew the answer.
"South's Upsilons," Osyn hissed, and this time, the malice was directed at me. My gut twisted with horror, but I said nothing as Alpha Osyn whipped back to the rest of the gathered, all of their eyes locked on me. I think Luna Darla and Faelen were the only ones not giving me accusing looks at that moment.
Alpha Osyn started rattling off potential battle strategies, but I tuned it out. The weight of all those lives loss pressed down on my shoulders, and in my stomach I got that awful, leaden sensation of guilt. I created those Upsilons. I gave Azriel all that power. Sure, it was done against my will, but I was still the one who created this mess all the same.
And it was up to me to fix it.
I stepped forward. "Wait," I said, and at that moment, everyone went quiet. Even Alpha Osyn, who glared at me for interrupting him, but I held his gaze as I said, "I have a solution."
He sneered at me. "Yeah? How do you propose we fix this, Epsilon?"
I ignored the venom in his words as I replied, "I think what we need is a truce. He's not going to stop terrorising the North until he has me, so the best we can do now is compromise."
Everyone stared at me in shock, looking at me as though I'd just grown a second head, and it was only Luna Darla that asked, "What do you mean, Kyra?"
I pushed back my shoulders in a display of stoicism, even though what I was about to say filled me with dread. "Send for a truce. Bind him in silver, bind me in silver, and bring a select few from each territory to act as witnesses. We need to settle this before more innocent lives are lost."
They all looked at me like I was insane. Faelen, in particular, looked aghast. "Kyra, you can't--"
I turned away from the white-haired male, facing Alpha Osyn instead. "So, what is it? Yes, or no?"
For once, Alpha Osyn looked uncomfortable. Everyone else was looking at him as well, expectant, and for a few moments, he just said nothing. Then, he fixed me with a glare. "You realise what this will mean, right? South won't just want to chat over teacups and dollies. He's a damn predator. He wants you, and he's going to make that known. He's not going to agree to any terms unless you give yourself up."
"I know," I said. I turned to the others, looking to each of them in turn, my gaze purposefully skipping over Faelen's. "I know Azriel. He's not going to stop until he has what he wants, which is me. But when it comes to negotiating, I'm the only one he'll listen to, and while I don't plan to surrender myself to him, maybe I can convince him. Maybe we can come to a compromise, whatever that may be." I fixed Osyn with my hardest look. "So let me do it. Let me talk it out with him. I created this mess and it's up to me to fix it. And if sacrifices must be made on my end then, well... so be it."
Once I finished speaking, the whole room descended into a tense silence. Truth be told, the idea of confronting Azriel filled me with horror, let alone meeting some compromise with him. But I didn't allow that fear to show -- in fact, it was hard to feel it when I thought of all those innocent lives being taken. So, I held Osyn's gaze for what felt like an eternity, and for the first time since I met him, I swore something close to respect passed over his features as he watched me. Gratitude, even. The look was gone in an instant and, clearing his throat, he waved at me.
"So be it. Gamma Wilson, send a message to South. Tell him we're coming with the Epsilon bound in silver and a truce. Tell him he must be bound in silver as well."
The room started up in motion, a few of the Gammas bustling about while others grabbed parchments and started scribbling furiously with inked quills. Faelen and Luna Darla remained stock still, and I could see both of them staring at me in my peripheral.
"This is insane," Faelen snarled. I looked to him, raising a brow as I found him glaring my way. Except, his eyes weren't full of anger. No, they were full of fear. "You can't seriously expect that the prick will let you off scotch free? He's going to demand a price and you're not going to be able to pay it!"
"Then pay it I shall," I said, dismissing him. "As you've said many times before, Delta, this is all my fault. I need to be the one to rectify it."
"By suicide is not what I meant, Kyra, and you know that!"
Some of the room had stopped to look at us now. They looked at Faelen in particular, perhaps wondering why he so worked up over this. Maybe they could feel the charged energy in the air between us, building up in intensity by the second.
Sucking in a long breath through my nose, I turned to look at him. In that moment, a whisper of pain sliced through me as I recalled all the awful things he'd called me. I think of his betrayal, of how I'd offered him nothing but pure friendship while he'd been slamming my name behind my back the entire time.
What hurt the most was that he didn't even have the spine to say it to my face. No, he stabbed me in the back instead; the worst kind of betrayal there is. It was that hurt that gave me the strength to say, "Why do you care, Faelen? I think everyone in this room knows you'd want nothing more than for me to be gone."
Faelen went impossibly still, and everyone in the room seemed to freeze at that moment. Of course they did. They'd never known the Delta's real name, and I'd just announced it to all of them without a care in the world. I stood tall, unyielding, watching Faelen's face as he processed the fact I'd just name-dropped him, that I'd just revealed his most tightly kept secret as easily as he had spoken all of those awful words about me.
And the best part? I felt not one single regret doing it.
I continued to stare him down, even as his features contorted with rage and his eyes burned with the sting of betrayal; even as the whispering of his name started up among the others in the room -- Faelen, Faelen, Faelen. Already, his precious name was spreading like wildfire, and I felt zero fucking remorse for it.
Before he could retaliate, I turned and stormed out the room. When I reached the door, I called back, "Tell Azriel I'll only agree to this deal if he brings Zion and Alia along. I want him to surrender them. Do not let the Delta come."
With that, I pushed my way out the door and into the world outside, uncaring to the chaos I had left in my wake.