Started: June 4, 2023
Finished: June 4, 2023
Trigger Warnings: panic attack, overthinking, thinking being trans is a phase, self deprecation, deadname use, blade, self harm
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~Tommy pov~
I was now sitting on the hard wooden floor, crying and hyperventilating over just my name. I'm so pathetic..Why couldn't I just be a girl..? Then the overthinking started.
Maybe I just want attention.?
Could this all just be a phase?
Why was I born like this?
What went wrong?
What made me like this?
Was it Will's fault?
Techno's?
Dad's?
Mine..?
That's when I broke. I couldn't handle it anymore..
I picked myself up from the ground and sneaked out of my door, accidentally making a small creak with it. I cringed and speed walked to the bathroom hoping nobody heard me.
I was wrong..
~Techno pov~
I always knew there was something wrong with Tori..or if that's even what she wants to be called..I guess I should refer to them with they/them pronouns until I figure this out. Yeah, that'll work I guess..
I was eating my breakfast, and egg and a pancake, until I heard a creak from upstairs. I assumed it was Tori coming back down from whatever just happened with them and Will. I should ask Will about that at some point..or I suppose Tori is a better option if they're up to it..I heard hurried steps and a door creaking closed.
'Where are they going..?' I thought to myself.
I ate the rest of my food, placed my dish in the sink and made my way to the stairs. Will and Dad seemed unfazed and just kept talking to each other, not even noticing that Tori wasn't there..I walked past them a started on the first step when I was interrupted.
"Oh Techno! We're going to the mall in a bit, so go get ready"
"Okay dad." I replied, now quickening my pace up the creaky old stairs. I arrived at the top and looked down the hallway, searching for any sign of where Tori was. Then I noticed the light under the bathroom door. 'Oh they're just going to the bathroom..' Thank the gods..wait..why am I so worried about them? Why now..?
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a small thud from the bathroom..where Tori was..
I practically ran to the door and opened it, not caring what I could've seen. Tori could be hurt right now..
And I was right..
I stared down at the image of my younger sibling laying up against the wall with their knees to their chest and hands gripped in their hair. Their fists were so firm that I could notice the whites of their bones shining through where the flesh of their knuckles would be. Their chest was rising and falling at a tremendous pace and the chocked sobs and the many tears falling from their face.
They looked at me in the eyes and seemed to panic more, backing up into the shower door. I lowered myself over to them and held out my arms for them. Tori hesitated but seemed to leap and collapse into me. They rapped their arms around me and sobbed into my chest.
"Hey..Hey..It's okay. What's wrong..?" I comforted them as I rubbed circles on their back.
They just kept sobbing onto my chest and I looked down at them, worry in my red crimson eyes. Then I noticed it..
The red blood leaking down from Tori's rolled up sleeve, and the old and new scars, and a...
...a rusty small blade...
The small piece of metal was laying on the ground, covered in new fresh blood. My hands began to shake around Tori and I gripped onto their shirt.
"Tori..." They tensed up and buried their head into my shoulder.
"...Did you cut yourself..?"
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HELLO WONDERFUL PEOPLE!! You are amazing! If you need to hear it...you are doing so well!! I'm so proud of you :D Keep going!! Make sure to eat, drink, sleep, shower, take your meds if you need them, and do everything that makes you happy (and is healthy!). Thank you all for reading and I hope you have an amazing day/night!
BooSnopil signing off!
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