As I opened my eyes, the first thing I noticed was that I was lying in Ryder's bed, just like every other morning. However, this time, something was different. The bed was empty, and there was no sign of Ryder anywhere. All that remained was the faint scent of his cologne, which only made me miss him.
I roll over, my eyes slowly adjusting to the morning light. With a deep breath, I rose from the comfort of his bed, making my way down the hallway, and into the kitchen. A cold breeze hitting my bare legs as I make it further into the living room.
I find him standing on the balcony, a cigarette to his lips, and his phone pressed to his ear.
I wrap my arms around my waist, as if it'll warm me up from the early morning air. I'm only wearing one of Ryder's oversized shirts that I had pulled on last night before bed. He never seems to mind.
But they're always baggy, swallowing my frame, hanging loosely from my shoulders that seem to hug his biceps perfectly, the rest draping down to just above my knees.
I quietly turn around, not wanting to disturb his phone call, before heading towards the kitchen for coffee. Ryder's already made some, my mug sitting on the counter beside his.
I pour some into the mug before wrapping my hands around it, bringing it to my lips when suddenly, two big arms wrap around my waist, immediately comforting me.
I've come to realise that my body can recognise him by touch alone, by scent; I would know him blind, by the way he breathes, by the rhythm of his heart beating in his chest. My body reacts differently to him than to anyone else. My brain has mended, memorised every inch of him. It's a connection that went beyond words, beyond sight, beyond anything I've ever experienced before.
I thought I knew what love was. True, real love. But maybe Luka was right, maybe it was just puppy love. What I have with Ryder is so different. It's real love, that runs so deep inside me that it hurts to think about him not by my side.
I realise that the word 'love' has a much deeper and more solid meaning. He's become my security, my foundation, and trust — and vice versa.
'Love' is seeing and accepting the whole package—the good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing drunk moments, the raw pain and heartache that life brings—and still loving each other.
Ryder's seen me at my lowest, and I've seen him, even when we didn't know each other all that well. We just knew. A part of me lives within Ryder, two halves making a whole. Ryder is my other half, making me feel whole.
I'm in real love now, for the first time, and it's way more guttural or something. It's in my bones. I think you know you're in real love when you feel that constant overwhelming urge to tell the person you're with that you love them for no reason.
Puppy love is easy, kisses and laughs. Luka was all I knew, he was all I had, it was easy for us. I don't think you know real love until you are faced with a major challenge. Then you see that love is hard. Really hard. But you fight for it and for the other person because you know it's worth it.
Ryder was worth it. so worth it.
I sink back into him, tilting my head into his shoulder as he leaves kisses on my neck. I felt his warm breath on my neck and his voice vibrating against my skin. "Why are you wearing my shirt?" his tone laced with amusement and tease. "Because I can," I respond, placing my mug down. "No, take it off."
I frown, turning around to face him. I expected a smirk on his face, but to my surprise, his expression remained stoic and serious, his eyes fixed on mine. I study his face for a minute, but nothing changes.
I hesitantly begin to lift the shirt, despite having nothing underneath, I'm just confused.
I hear him stifle a laugh and I immediately drop my arms, a grin plastered on his face. "You're a jerk." I grunt, pushing past him and heading towards the hallway. He laughs again, his hands swiftly grasping my hips and pulling me back closer to him. "Baby, I'm sorry," he laughs out, not sounding so genuine.
"Let me go." I demand, squirming in his arms. He only holds me tighter, and with a sudden movement, he spins me around to face him. His eyes lingered on my face, moving slowly as if trying to memorise every detail.
We stood there in silence, his arms wrapped tightly around me, holding me close to his chest. The only sound was the beating of our hearts, as if they were trying to sync up with each other. And then he kisses me, for the first time since the shower. Without warning, without permission, feeling every ounce of emotion.
As he pulled away, a smile unconsciously spread across my face. I hadn't intended for it to happen, but there was something about the way he looked at me that made me feel giddy inside.
"Finn invited us out again tonight, but we don't need to go." he casually mentions, a slight hint of concern in his voice. As he spoke, his eyes were fixed on my face, his fingers delicately brushing a stray strand of hair away from my eyes.
I shake my head, my eyes shining with excitement. "I wanna go," My voice filled with anticipation. "It'll be fun." With a wide smile on my face, I leant up on my toes to kiss him once more before dashing down the hallway to choose an outfit.
I like being around Finn, he's funny and really sweet, and the girls he brings with him are always the sweetest. He's like a brother to Ryder, and he feels like the brother I've never had to me. I finally don't feel so alone anymore.
I'm going through my clothes when I hear Ryder enter my bedroom, I don't turn around, It's pretty normal for him to be in here while I get ready. He usually just watches me quietly.
I pull out a dress option, before heading towards my bed. I noticed him leaning against my door, his arms crossed and his eyes fixed on my every move.
I decide to tease him the same way he teases me, feeling more than comfortable doing this now. I tug at the hem of my shirt before completely lifting it over my head, revealing my bare chest, leaving me in nothing but delicate lace underwear. Except, I don't look at him, I casually pick up the dress, looking at it again as if he's not even there.
I hear a stifled groan leave him, and a shuffle from the door. With a sly grin, I take pleasure in the power I hold over him. But before I can revel in my victory, he seizes me from behind, spinning me around and pressing his lips onto mine with an aggressive intensity. A moan escapes my lips, exposing the pleasure I feel from his force.
I eagerly respond to his kiss, feeling his weight on top of me as we move to my bed. He crawls on top of me, his body pressing against mine in all the right places. He trails his lips from my mouth, down to my neck, and then to my breasts. I arch my back in ecstasy, another moan escaping my mouth.
He moves further down to my stomach, trailing wet kisses along, nearing further and further down. His lips leave a trail of fire on my skin, igniting a hunger deep within me. I can feel his hot breath on the most intimate parts, and my body aches for more. Burning me inside out.
His rough fingers curl around the edge of my lacy underwear, tugging them down agonisingly slow, his hand trailing down my smooth thigh, his dark gaze never leaving mine. He spreads my legs further apart, leaving more kisses on my inner thighs.
"Ryder." I groan, squirming, silently begging for his touch. "And you thought you could tease me." He snickers, moving painfully slow, just hovering over my throbbing clit. I should've known that teasing him would come back to bite me in the ass.
Finally, I feel his fingers spread my lips, spreading my juices over my clit. I grip the bed covers tightly, releasing a throaty, satisfied groan. "See how bad you want it," he teases, his hot breath against my skin.
He leaves another nip on my thigh, "You're not dumb, I know you know it." He plants another wet kiss, his breath hot and heavy. "This is right," another kiss, "we're right, we always have been." he speaks in between more kisses, going further up, moving dangerously close.
"You're mine, you've been mine since the day I married you." He hums inches away from my clit, before suddenly, his lips connect with me, causing my back to arch again, my fingers tangling in his hair as I pull him closer.
"Oh, God" I moan, louder than anticipated. My head thrown back in ecstasy as my eyes flutter closed. I feel his lips curl into a smirk against me, "You don't believe in god." he mocks, taking me back to that one time I was getting ready. His skilled tongue teasing my sensitive clit brings me back to reality, while his strong hand grasps my breasts.
I take pleasure in everything about this, and when I thought it couldn't get better, I feel two fingers slip inside me. He slowly slides his two tatted fingers in and out of me, all the while sensually sucking, tugging, and licking at my throbbing clit. I feel my stomach build up with heat, when he abruptly stops, leaving me empty.
I whine in disapproval, as he crawls up my body, my whole body aching as he fumbles with his pants. He wastes no time, lining up with me. Thrusting himself inside and easing my ache.
My eyes are squeezed shut, my lips parted. He's definitely bigger than I expected or remember, causing a slight, pleasurable sting. "Jesus." He groans, pushing his hand on my lower stomach, feeling his every deep thrust enter me.
"Fuck." I breathe out, my hands still clinging onto the sheets beneath me, my knuckles turning white. My mind is blurry, and words are tumbling out of my mouth without a thought in my mind. "It's so—" my voice shaky,
"so what?" He questions, his thrusts slowing down, his fingertips tickling the skin on my stomach. "So big." I manage to breathe out, a small moan quickly following.
"Ah, you can take it," he replies, leaning down to my ear. "Like a fucking glove," he adds, mumbling into my ear. I moan in response, unable to form words, his thumb suddenly circling against my clit.
The pleasure builds and builds until I feel myself about to fall apart beneath him. I feel my pussy clench around him for the second time, and another groan escapes his mouth.
"Not yet, baby," He grumbles, pulling away from my ear as he intensifies his thrusts once more. I wait for his indication to go, growing impatient, "Now." I instantly feel my walls release around his cock, a lustful groan escaping our lips in unison.
I lay panting beneath him, barely able to open my eyes. He doesn't pull out of me yet. Instead, he leans down against my chest, pressing a long kiss against my lips.
"You know you're mine, right?" he pants out, "I am, since the day you married me." I repeat his words, my lips slightly curving into a lazy smile.
"Say it again." He demands, "I'm yours." I repeat proudly, my eyes fluttering open to meet his. They're still dark, full of lust.
He kisses me again, "I'll give you the world, he says against my lips. "The moon and the fucking stars, anything you want, it's yours." His words sounding like promises. I pull away, studying his face with a slight smile, "Why?"
He smiles a small smile, his lips twitching like he's trying not to laugh, his eyes softening as they study mine, "There's very little I wouldn't do for you, Vivienne Forbes." — I knew his answer, I just wanted to hear him say it.
I grab his face in my hands, pulling him into another kiss when suddenly the doorbell rings through the apartment, shattering our intimacy.
We both freeze, and a frown creeps onto my face. He mirrored my expression, his brow furrowed in confusion as we stare at each other for answers. I blink in confusion when he doesn't move. "Go—" I whisper, gently moving him off me, urging him to go handle it.
"Fuckin' hell." with a grumble of frustration, he hastily tugged up his sweatpants and stormed out of the bedroom. I quickly grabbed the shirt I had taken off, smoothing down my tousled hair and stealing a glance at my reflection in the mirror before I quickly follow after Ryder.
Nobody ever comes here, and we definitely weren't expecting anyone.
By the time I get to the kitchen, I find a very unpleased Ryder, and Finn. By the look on Finn's face, he knows what he just walked into. Probably my red, flustered cheeks and the beads of sweat that glistened in Ryder's hair giving it away.
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to pop in before tonight." Finn announces cheerily, entertained by this.
He turns to Ryder, his arms are crossed over his chest, still not satisfied with him. I stifle a laugh at his serious face, suddenly finding amusement in the situation. "I'll leave." Finn finally states, before turning to me, "See you tonight, love," his lips curving into a small smile.
As he reached the door, he paused for a moment and turned back to face Ryder, gently tapping his chest with his hand, an amused smile on his face before he finally leaves.
I smile at Ryder from across the kitchen, knowing he's not actually angry with him. Who could be angry with Finn?
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
AN/word count- 2500
I'm sorry but I really can't be assed writing in condoms and whatnot, but I swear she won't get pregnant, I know how much ya'll hate the pregnancy trope. Say she's on the pill or something idfk.
I also can't write smut for the life of me, I don't know what right words to use to avoid it being cringy but i'm trying😭
much love<333