Tate
Are you awake?
Jude
It's 2am Tate
Tate
So you are awake🤯
Jude
You woke me up
Tate
You always keep your phone on dnd though
Jude
Yeah but I have it set up so I still get
notifications from you 6
Tate
I'm so honored
Jude
What do you want
Tate
Can we talk?
Jude
Tate it's fine
Tate
Meet me at the beach
Jude
It's 2am
Tate
Meet me at the beach
Jude
Fine which one
Tate
The one we played volleyball at, it's the closest
Jude
Okay give me 5
Tate
Okay I'm already out here
Jude
Is it just you?
Tate
Yeah I snuck out🤠
Jude
You're wild
How's Pedri gonna feel that you snuck out
Tate
Don't care, you're my priority right now
Jude
Why
Tate
Because I care about you, idiot
Jude
Wah wah🦖
Tate
Get your ass out here
Jude
Pedri's gonna be mad when you're gone
Tate
If I'm gonna have his kids one day he can
deal with this, he's a bitch boy
Jude
Ay can't deny that logic
Tate
He knows he's one, it's okay😃
Jude
You two have an interesting relationship
Tate
You better be on your way out here
Jude
Yeah I'm on the path right now
Tate
Hurry
Jude
K
Tate
Oh you're done
Jude
Why do we have to talk
Tate
Shush and hurry up
"Hey." Jude says as he sits next to me and I scoot over slightly so he has more room.
"Hey." I say as he looks at me.
"So, what's up?" He questions.
"Can we talk about everything that's happened since we've been here in Hawaii?" I ask as he sighs.
"Tate we don't need to talk about it."
"It's just me though. It'll be easier to talk about with one person versus in the group chat, and I think it's good to talk about." I say as he shakes his head, "plus we used to talk about everything, what happened?"
He stares straight forward at the water as he takes a deep breath, "you started dating Pedri."
"What?"
"You were closer with everyone before you two started dating, like dating each other is good for you two because it just makes sense, but you also spend so much time with him. Like you're in a relationship and I get that, but it's not the same anymore." He says as I knit my eyebrows together.
"I didn't think about it like that." I whisper as I pull my knees to my chest.
"There was one night in particular," he begins as I look at him, "I got in a fight with her and you were the only person I wanted to talk to about it, but you were out on a date with Pedri and you didn't get home until really late, so I never brought it up again."
"Jude." I say quietly.
"I really needed you that night," he whispers. "I needed that person who was always good at advice and made time to talk with all of us and just ask how we were doing."
"I'm so sorry, I didn't think about how our relationship was effecting the house." I say as he shrugs.
"It's fine, we're broken up now so it's not a big deal." He says as I shake my head.
"What was it about? The fight." I ask as he frowns slightly.
"The night I asked her to be my girlfriend, I apologized to her for inviting Hailey and not her, but I don't think I should have apologized." He says as I look forward at the water.
"What do you mean?"
"Everyone made me think that it was so wrong to invite her, but we both ignored each other after we hooked up. It wasn't just on me, but everyone had me convinced I was in the wrong." He says as I purse my lips.
"I mean it was both of you to be fair, you should've at least talked about it." I whisper as he puts his hands behind him, leaning back.
"I mean I guess, but I apologized for no reason. Like deep down I knew I shouldn't have, but I felt like a bad person if I didn't." He says as I look at him again, nodding, "and then I got cheated on so that's cool I guess."
"Did you tell anyone else that you were miserable in the relationship? Or just Jobe?"
He sighs as he shakes his head, "just Jobe. I thought it'd be like an easy fix but we fought all the time, like more than you and Pedri." He jokes as I smile.
"I'm sorry we never talked about it. If it means anything I miss how we used to be, I miss how I was with all of the guys. And I guess things aren't the same anymore, and it is because of me dating Pedri." I say as he shrugs.
"I mean if you're happy though, we shouldn't be mad about it. Because if anything you deserve every good thing, seeing how you've helped us all with so much for the past 9 years. Like if Pedri makes you truly happy, then that's what we all support." He suggests.
"I've been a bad friend to be fair, I think I put all of my energy in Pedri, and I wasn't realizing what was going on around me. Like with you being miserable, and same with Pablo too, it was right in front of my face and I didn't realize it." I say as he shakes his head.
"The Pablo thing was on me though."
"What happened? Unless you don't want to talk about it." I state as he shakes his head.
"He knows me too well, so I thought he'd be able to tell something was going on." He says as I nod slightly, "so I decided to keep to myself, and that resulted in pushing everyone away, especially him." He adds.
"I'm sorry." I say quietly as he laughs.
"I chose not to talk about it, you don't have to be sorry for anything."
"Well I'm sorry for today then in the group chat, pushing it when I should've left it as it was." I whisper.
He shrugs as he sits up fully again, "I left because as soon as something started to happen I got freaked out and I left the room. We only kissed and right after I just felt like shit, like I don't know what's wrong with me now."
"You got hurt. Nothings wrong with you, you just need time to heal, and that's okay." I say as he shakes his head slightly.
"I'm not allowing myself to think about it, and I think that's the problem. Like I hate myself for apologizing because this was a result of all of it." He says as I frown.
"You don't have to hate yourself for it, we are all kind of at fault because we all made you feel like you had to apologize, but it went both ways between you two." I say as he shrugs. "Did you ever talk to Pablo about everything?"
He nods slowly, "I went to his room last night after I left that girls room. I was all freaked out because I'm kind of like scared about opening up to someone again and I don't want it to go bad again. And then I apologized for being a shitty friend to him, and I told him everything I just told you." He says.
"I'm glad you opened up to me, and Pablo too. It's good to talk about things even when they're hard." I whisper as he bursts out laughing.
"I'm sorry, you set that up for me to take it the wrong way." He says as he's still laughing and I push his shoulder.
"Why did you really not tell me what was happening? There's got to be something more." I ask as he looks at me.
"I just felt so alone. Seeing you and Pedri so happy made me feel terrible because I was miserable, so that's why I'd always make fun of how you two would fight. In a weird way it made me feel better about my relationship knowing yours wasn't perfect." He says as I give him a look.
"Our relationship is far from perfect." I say quietly.
"Okay I'll put it this way, you're perfect for each other. Like you two just make so much sense and it's weird in like a good way I guess." He explains.
"I'm sorry you felt alone while in your relationship, that's never how you should feel." I say as he shrugs, standing up and brushing off his legs.
"Everything happens for a reason." He says as he reaches his hands out, helping me up as I brush the sand off of me.
"I want things to go back how they used to be between us, can we do that?" I question as he nods, wrapping his arms around me.
"Mmhmm." He hums.
I pull away from the hug and I look up at him, "thank you for talking with me about everything, im glad you feel comfortable doing that."
"Thank you for waking me up to talk about it." He jokes as I pick up the blanket, and we begin walking down the path back to the hotel. "Why were you even out here at 2 in the morning?"
"I couldn't sleep so I just came out here to think." I say.
"About what?" He questions as I shrug.
"Just about everything I guess that's been happening. Like with you, Pablo, Pedri and I, I think about it all." I say quietly as he nods.
"Well if you ever need to talk about anything I'm here, you know that." He whispers as I nod.
"You said after one fight in particular you wanted to talk to only me, why?" I question as I stop walking and he turns around to face me.
"You fix everything. I don't know what it is about you, but you seem to fix everything you get involved in, so I thought you could somehow convince me the relationship was worth staying in." He says as I cross my arms.
"If you told me about how miserable you were I would've told you to leave, you know that, right?" I ask as he nods slightly.
"And you would've been right." He says as he takes a deep breath, "I just wish I knew better then, and that maybe I should've stayed up and waited for you so I could talk about it."
"Jude." I whisper as he shakes his head.
"I'm fine Tate." He says as he turns around, beginning to walk back towards the hotel again.
"But you're not fine though." I say as I throw my hands up, following behind him.
"I still feel alone, is that what you want to hear? I was alone in my relationship, and now that I'm out of it I still feel like shit. I don't know what to do." He says as his voice shakes slightly, "I'm stuck, Tate. I can't fix everything that's going on and I don't care to because I don't know how."
"What can I do?"
"Tate this isn't something you can fix, this one is on me, okay?" He says as I nod slightly.
"Okay." I respond quietly as he leans his head back.
"Fuck." He mumbles as he covers his face with his hands and he sits down on a bench as I go stand in front of him.
"You don't need to act like you're strong all of the time, you can't keep it locked up forever. Something big happened in your life and you're allowed to feel hurt." I whisper. "Allow yourself to feel."
"No, I'm fine, it's fine." He says as he takes a deep breath and I shake my head.
"Jude come on, you have to process it at some point."
"I'll process it at some point, hopefully when I'm alone and not with you." He mumbles as he stands up again.
"Jude it's okay." I say as my phone begins ringing and it's Pedri calling me. Jude gives me a look as I look from him to my phone and he scoffs as I decline the call.
"Pick up the call." He mumbles as Pedri is calling me again.
"I said you were my priority right now, and I mean that." I say as I decline the call once again.
"He's going to be mad at you. Don't do that because of me." He says as I shake my head.
"He'll be fine." I mumble as Jude begins walking to the hotel again as I trail behind him.
"Can I just go to sleep please? Forget any of this happened." Jude says as we get on the elevator.
"No I'm not forgetting any of this happened, it's good we talked about it, even if it's hard." I say as he stares at the elevator doors, not looking at me.
When we get to the fifth floor he quickly wipes his eyes before he goes down the hallway and I sigh as it goes up to the seventh floor. "Where did you go?" Pedri asks as soon as I get back to our room and I immediately get in bed.
"I was talking with Jude, and it was going good until the very end and I messed up I think." I say as he gives me a look.
"What do you mean?" He questions as he wraps his arms around me and I immediately turn around as he lets go of me, "what did I do?"
"Nothing, I'm just tired." I mumble as he sighs.
"You're doing that thing." He whispers as he rubs my back.
"What thing?" I scoff as I turn my head to look at him.
He takes a deep breath, "when you try to fix things, and if you can't you get in a bad mood because you feel like you aren't doing enough." He says as I frown.
"I don't do that." I mumble.
"Yeah you do." He retorts as I roll my eyes.
"No I don't." I mock as he pulls my shoulder so I'm facing him.
"Yes you do." He whispers as I frown.
"Do I actually do that?" I mumble as he nods.
"Yes, but it's not a bad thing. You just try to fix everyone's problems, and that's what's wrong about it." He whispers as he pushes hair behind my ear and I sit up, looking at him. "What?"
"Are you miserable in our relationship?" I question suddenly as he furrows his eyebrows together.
"Why did you just ask that?"
"Learning that Jude was not happy in his relationship got me thinking what if you are too but I'm too oblivious to know it?" I say as more of a question.
"I wouldn't talk about wanting kids with you if I was miserable," he says as he places his hand on my jaw, "and you're actually the love of my life, so no I'm not miserable." He adds as he leans forward, pulling me into a kiss.
"Promise?" I ask as I pull away, leaning my forehead against his.
"Promise." He whispers as he holds out his pinky before we interlock them, kissing the tips of our thumbs and touching them.
"I love you." I say as I wrap my arms around him in a hug and he smiles as he lies down, and he pulls me on top of him.
"I love you." He says quietly as his hands go under my shirt, lightly scratching my back as I kiss his neck gently.
"I want kids with you." I whisper as he goes completely still.
"What?"
"Not like right this moment, but like you're the only person I'd want kids with." I say as I lift my head, looking at him.
"A win is a win. One day." He mumbles as he repeatedly kisses my cheek.
"We would have the cutest kids, right?" I question as he nods.
"Absolutely. Mini versions of us, I can see it." He whispers as I smile.
"I'm terrified of my future, but as long as you're in it, I think it will work out perfectly fine."
———
This story is getting so long wtf, but anyways well deserved Tate and Jude late night convos I guess 🦖🤯