"Am I supposed to be grateful
to have survived this?"
____________________
Alexandria's pov:
This godforsaken building was a maze. The only thing keeping me from kicking through a wall and hoping it somehow led to the entrance was the overpowering scent of wolves that led down the halls.
"Luna," Sebastian spoke from a step behind me. I barely paused as the scent grew stronger. We were close enough to pick out the unique notes that lied beneath. A familiar whiff of lilac hit my nose, and right along with it came the scent of home. Not France, not Livius' castle.
Alexius.
I barely had a moment to dwell on the thought of seeing him. Instead, Sebastian's surprisingly harsh grip dragged me out of my thoughts. "Oh for fucks sake, are you listening?"
My head turned, my eyes snapping up to meet his gaze but before I could utter a word in response another voice cut in.
"Alexandria?"
Livius' voice flooded my mind, his presence undeniable. I stiffened and completely stopped in my tracks.
Sebastian seemed to note the way my eyes glazed over, a distant look washing over my face. His hand slightly loosened around my wrist.
I reached through the link Livius had opened, clutching it as my heart seemed to both sink and skip a beat at the sound of his voice. Whatever thoughts I had before tumbled to the back of my mind.
"Livius?"
I practically felt his relief at my response. Noah made a silent attempt to take advantage of my momentary pause to herd me back in the opposite direction, but I stood my ground, not retreating an inch. Instead, I turned back towards the noise, the scratch of claws and clatter of weapons.
"Could I please ask that you listen to me just this once and go back with Sebastian?"
This time my pace didn't slow, even as Livius spoke. It could never be said that I had a shortage of overprotective males in my life. The clamor grew louder, the scents now overtaking my senses as familiar growls reached my ears.
I rounded a corner and was met with a staircase that overlooked the entrance. Below, a mix of both fae and werewolf warriors were locked in battle. It was a blur of flashing teeth and burning silver.
I stopped dead in my tracks, my attention landing on my mate. Livius' eyes met my own, a warning hiding within them, one that said go the other way, then his brow creased with an added please.
Where the hell was Gabriel? I refused to believe he'd fled so soon. Or given up so quickly. It was clear that winning was impossible, but that slimy bastard was the last person to go down without setting everything on fire right along with him.
I shifted my gaze to the Fae at Livius' back, pale silver hair, golden eyes that matched my own, and a sun-kissed tan that we'd both inherited from our father. My heart stuttered and practically came to a stop.
Alexius.
He didn't notice me. The wolves had by my scent, and Livius barely reacted to my presence so as not to alert Gabriel's warriors. My hands fell limp at my sides.
He was right there. He wasn't dead.
That all too familiar image of his body bleeding out appeared in my mind's eye. A thousand memories crowded forward as my throat constricted, but I shoved the feeling away. This was not the time. Livius' blade glinted against the light, the silver stained crimson.
His eyes were a darker shade than their usual cerulean, his arm was half shifted into wolf form, his claws curled like moon kissed crescents. It had been a long while since I'd seen him kill. And it didn't feel any better this time around. These fae were brainwashed traitors. Mere pawns.
I pitied them.
"Go help them," I ordered Samuel and Azrael, not even bothering to command Sebastian, he wouldn't leave my side. And Noah was too busy herding his sister away from the fight while she seemed to gravitate towards the scene, a funny look on her face.
The two fae hesitated a moment before rushing down the stairs to face their former allies. My own eyes darted over the foyer and the balconies that opened out to it.
Where was Gabriel?
"Luna, we have back up, please. Let me take you somewhere safe," Sebastian cut through my confusion and I turned to glare at him. They were clearly overtaking them, Gabriel was missing, and I hadn't even run down the stairs. Gabriel's fae were so preoccupied with the fight, they couldn't even turn their attention to me, let alone make another attempt on my life.
"I'm not down there, am I?" I asked, but still retreated a step for his sanity. This would be over soon enough and as much as I love a fight, it wasn't worth upsetting anyone. I just needed to know that he was all right... that Livius wasn't cornered and someone was watching his back. The first instinct any wolf has is to check on their mate, how could I do anything besides that.
I allowed Sebastian to pull me back a few more steps, hiding me from view as we watched the fight continue, a few of the reserves he'd mentioned coming in. I relaxed just enough to breathe and take a moment to heal my injuries. I could sit this out, I should sit this out.
"Yes, you should, moon." Livius' voice flooded my mind. Good to know he was relaxed enough to read my thoughts while he fought. Yeah, they would be fine. I might as well have left when Sebastian told me to. My previous fear and concern suddenly seemed absolutely ridiculous.
"Then hurry up, Alpha," was my response, a slight taunt in my voice. His velvety chuckle flooded my mind before the link cut out. I smiled, just barely.
God, I loved him.
Victoria stared down at the clash, seemingly transfixed. My brows dipped, had she never seen a fight before? Noah gripped her wrist, still pulling her back as if she planned to saunter right in if he let her. I moved to follow her gaze before sharp movement to my right drew my attention.
My gaze snapped up to the balcony overlooking the fight, it circled along the second floor and opened out to the top of the staircase we currently hid beside. My heart sunk at the sight, the world seeming to halt for a single haunting moment.
Gabriel stood at the edge, a silver gun in hand, the barrel pointed straight at Livius' back. He almost seemed to sense it as he shook off the fae he was interlocked with and growled. I didn't have time to think, to even breathe as I tore from Sebastian's hold, my body melting into my fae form as I threw myself down the hall leading to where Gabriel stood.
His eyes locked with my own in shock, his entire body going rigid. From this day forward, I'd thank the goddess every day that the Fae had a shit sense of smell. My hand fell to the dagger strapped at my hip, it sat nicely in my hand, a perfect lightness to it.
I'm unsure what my intention was. Perhaps I'd hoped to stab him in the shoulder, or disarm him and hold it to his neck, or hurl it at his leg. But Gabriel suddenly turned back to his target, deciding that whatever became of him didn't matter so long as he pulled that trigger.
And I panicked, my mind slipped into a frenzy, and my rationale dissipated like ashes in the wind.
I will never kill. That is the line I'd drawn for myself, for this power that I'd been given.
And for the first time in my life, that clear, distinct line blurred into something unrecognizable.
The sound of a gunshot cut through the air, bringing silence to the hall. Gabriel's gun clattered as it fell to the ground, one of my hands tightening around his wrist. Something wet splattered across my cheeks, my clothes, my hands. I blinked while the former fae general released a noise that sounded similar to a strained gargle.
I exhaled and my eyes fell to the blade I had lodged into his heart, my hands still curled tightly around it even as my palms became slick with his blood.
And I screamed.
***
Livius' pov:
The sudden sound of Alexandria's ear-splitting scream was perhaps the most haunting and harrowing thing I had ever heard. I could hear the anguish within it, the pain, the... fear.
Everyone had frozen at the sound of the gunshot. The pale silver bullet had ricocheted off the ceiling before landing uselessly in some corner. I'd turned to find Gabriel's gun facing me, but Alexandria had reacted first. Her fae form, glorious as ever, cut through the space between them, defying all laws of physics, and we all watched as she lodged her dagger into Gabriels chest, right over his heart. The bastard had still pulled the trigger, not caring for his life, and she'd intercepted that too, her hand closing around his wrist and shifting his aim to the ceiling.
Away from me.
She'd saved my life. At the expense of her own morals.
The wolves around me admired her courage, they would speak of her power and ruthlessness and resilience. But Alexandria was no killer. And as violent as she was willing to be, that had always been her line. I knew this. It had gone without saying.
Yet there she stood. And her panicked scream only proved that intention hadn't changed.
Alexius stared up at her in shock, his eyes glued to the blade in Gabriel's chest. I was the first to spur back into action, clawing at one of the few fae who remained standing.
"You deal with the rest," I ordered, already running towards the staircase that led to the second floor. To her. The clamoring sound of weapons hitting the floor reached my ears, and I turned to see the remaining fae discard their blades, their hands rising over their heads in both resignation and defeat, Gabriel's death being the final hint that they had lost.
Though, death may perhaps be a better reprieve than whatever awaited them in Alexius' dungeons. "Tie them up," I heard Alexius say, his voice taking on an almost cruel lilt. I didn't look back.
Sebastian had already run over to Alexandria, his words hushed and his eyes soft with worry. She was staring down at her hands, Gabriel's body limp at her feet, his eyes open and empty.
I waved him away. "Call Levon," I commanded. "Tell him it's over and have them ready the plane. We're flying straight home." Sebastian nodded, shooting one final concerned look at my mate.
I approached her as he brushed past me, my movements tentative. "Alexandria," I murmured, attempting to snap her out of her reverie. She didn't respond, her eyes locked on the blood that stained her hands, her face, her clothes. Everything.
Oh Goddess.
I reached for her slowly and she flinched at the hand I laid on her shoulder. "Look at me, moon." Her gaze lifted to meet mine, her eyes wide in both fear and disbelief. She exhaled a gasping breath, her chest rising and falling as she began to frantically rub the blood off her hands.
"Hey, hey," I told her, tugging her closer, my hands gentle but firm. "Easy, love." But her shaking didn't ease and her hands continued to tremble.
"Livius..." she began to say, her eyes turning glassy with tears. "What have I..." She turned back to look at Gabriel's harrowing corpse, but I stopped her with a hand on her shoulders.
"Don't look," I ordered gently, my eyes drifting down to find the growing puddle of blood that stained her feet. I had to get her away from here.
"I did that," Alexandria said, a few tears escaping. Those eyes of melted honey brimming with pain and grief. She was utterly distraught.
My arm curled around her shoulder as I led her away. Cleaning the blood off would have to wait. I walked her down the stairs, past the destroyed foyer and the tied up warriors, and out the doors. She stared straight ahead, but her eyes were unseeing.
I sat her beside the treeline, only releasing her to retrieve a towel from one of the packs we'd brought with us and drench it with water. She didn't move, she barely even breathed, but her tears remained and it tore a hole in a part of me I hadn't even known existed.
Slowly, I took her hand and rubbed at the sticky blood before it dried. The scent of it flooded my nostrils and it was undoubtedly making her sick as well. Alexandria stared blankly at her palms while I did my best to remove the stains. There was still blood on her cheeks and clothes.
"Say something, moon," I murmured. Her silence was deafening, and it served as a reminder that I'd still failed. I'd saved her but at what cost? My jaw clenched and she opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't seem to find any words. We sat in silence for a beat, and I shifted the towel to her cheeks.
"I am sorry," I told her quietly. She seemed beyond words, beyond anything, just empty, as if someone had squeezed the life, the fire, out of her. Yet for a moment, her eyes softened. Her hand lifted to my jaw, her scent hitting me in full force as she shook her head, those eyes dimming into something unrecognizable.
She needed some time, Goddess only knew how long. But apologies wouldn't fix this. I should've killed Gabriel the instant he was trapped in my dungeons. I could've protected her from this. I could've done more, done better.
Instead, I brought her to this. It was a universal sign of failure when a male wolf's mate was forced to make a kill.
Alexandria killed Gabriel to defend me, she was forced to do what I should've done. She may forgive me, or worse, think there is nothing to forgive.
But I would never forgive myself.
***