Chapter 36 | Book Signing |
It's so uncomfortable to know that Yijin is here. Simula nang nakita ko siya kanina, parang naging awkward na ang bawat paggalaw ko. I was so thankful that the dinner immediately ended. Pakiramdam ko nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang makalabas na kami sa restaurant.
Isang beses kong tiningnan ang table nila Yijin, halos tumalon ang puso ko nang makitang nakatitig siya sa 'kin.
"Why did you choose Psychology?" Ranzel tried to strike a conversation while we're at the mall heading to the cinema.
Tipid akong ngumiti sa tanong niya, "Well. . . it's my dream then, and I want to serve my life to people who needs an assurance that everything is going to be okay."
"That's nice, I can see now that you have a kind heart."
"Thank you, ikaw? Bakit Engineering?" Naalala ko na naman si Yijin sa sarili kong tanong.
Nagkibit ng balikat si Ranzel, "Malaki ang sweldo," seryosong aniya. He laughed at my reaction, "Joke lang! Just like you it's also my dream, and I want to serve happiness to people," aniya ginagaya ang sinabi ko. I laughed at him.
"Uy, kayong dalawa d'yan, nagkakamabutihan na ba kayo?" puna ni Lara sa 'min kaya bigla akong natahimik. She looked at me meanicingly, Ranzel just laughed awkwardly.
Bigla ko tuloy naalala kung bakit ayaw ko sa date na 'to in the first place!
Nang makarating kami sa cinema ay agad nang pumila sina Lara para bumili ng tickets. Naiwan naman kami ni Ranzel sa bench para maghintay sa kanila.
Ranzel and I were talking nang biglang nag-ring ang cellphone ko, I excused myself to him before answering the call. Bahagya akong lumayo dahil marami ang tao na nasa paligid, baka hindi ko marinig ang kausap.
"Hello, good evening," ani ko.
"Hi, this is Rylana Geñosa, from Star Publishing, is this Ms. Thalia Chanel Lastimosa?" My mouth agaped, napatango-tango ako.
"Yes po, it's me."
"Ah, pasensya ka na na medyo late ang tawag ko, ah. I called to confirm the date of book signing and to inform you about the meeting before it." I took my time talking to the girl from the publishing.
Importante kasi iyon lalo na't next week na ang book signing. Ibig sabihin, next week na rin ako magpapakilala sa mga readers ko. Not exactly the book signing day, two days before the book signing ay magkakaroon ng online meet and greet with my readers.
"Ayon lang naman, thank you for taking the call."
"No worries po, thank you rin po for helping me with this."
"You're welcome Ms. Chantal, bye!" The call ended. Saglit akong napangiti bago bumaling kung nasaan sina Lara. Kaya lang, pagbaling ko ay halos mapigtas ang paghinga ko nang makita si Yijin.
"Y-yijin. . ." I uttered. Hindi ko alam kung paanong nasa harapan ko siya ngayon. He looked at me straigtly in the eyes.
"Chantal, nandito rin kayo." I don't know if it's a question or not but I nodded.
"Y-yeah, ikaw? Ano'ng ginagawa mo rito?" nalilito kong tanong. My heart started to pound loudly, kinakabahan na nandito na naman siya.
"I have a favorite movie to watch? Ikaw?" he asked.
"I'm still with my company, manonood din kami." Ikiniling ko ang ulo. "You're going to watch?" I asked, I don't know if this is coincidence or what.
"Marvels," he answered. Dahan-dahan akong napatango, okay. . . hindi 'yon ang panonoorin namin kaya hindi naman siguro coincidence.
I straightened my back, "I have to go, hinihintay na nila ako," paalam ko bago nagpamaunang umalis. I said that coldly but my heart almost stopped because of how I felt whenever he's around.
Wala na talaga ang utak ko sa pinapanood namin. Ranzel and Lara keeps commenting something about the movie pero wala akong masabi dahil nasa kabilang banda ang presensya ko.
It's ironic na nagkita ulit kami ni Yijin dito sa sinehan. Naiinis ako na ewan, pinaglalaruan ba talaga ako ng tadhana?
Before the date ends, kinausap ko si Ranzel. I want to be honest to him and I don't want to give him high hopes. I told him the kindest way I could that I'm not interested of him and that I don't want a relationship from him, kahit friendship.
Good thing that he understands it, he asked me why and I tell things honestly. That, I like someone else. I'm glad that he respected my feelings, nangako rin siya na hindi na mangungulit.
Pabiro rin niyang sinabi sa 'kin na nananakit daw ako dahil hindi pa nga siya nakakapanligaw, busted na agad siya sa 'kin. He's a good guy, I'm sure he can find someone that can match him being extrovert.
I got so busy the next week for my book, I'm both excited and nervous for it. Every writer's dream is to see their book physically printed and to meet their readers. I'm achieving that so I'm really happy and proud of myself.
The online event was a shock to everyone, lalo na nang ipakilala ko na ang sarili. I got so many positive feedbacks from my readers kaya sobrang tuwa ko, I received a lot of compliments and my heart is really melting.
Kabado ako sa magiging reaction ng readers, but now that they knew me and accepted me, I'm so happy.
For the book signing, I woke up really early. It's Saturday in the morning at saktong wala kaming pasok, patapos na rin ako sa thesis ko kaya konting-konti na lang makakatapos na 'ko.
I received an early message from Zion, he greeted me and said his good luck. Kahapon din ay nagpadala siya ng bouquet to congratulate me for the success of event.
I only ate cereals for my breakfast, hindi ako makakain nang masyado dahil kinakabahan ako sa book singing. Marami akong iniisip gaya ng baka walang pumila o ano. I have a lot of supporters but I'm still nervous. Even my admins were excited for this.
I dressed up nicely, I wore a stripe black and white skirt jumper and partnered it with a white turtleneck long sleeve. I prepared my things like cellphone, basic make-up kit, ballpens and other stuffs.
Sa baba ay naghihintay na sa 'kin ang van na magiging service ko papunta sa event. The book signing will be held on a bookstore inside a mall. May mini program bago ang talagang book signing gaya ng pa-games, special message at q and a with me.
Everyone was so shock because of the announcement, kahit 'yung ibang kakilala ko na hindi naman talaga nagbabasa ng novels ay nagulat na biglang ang sikat ng mukha ko sa social media. Seri and Chloe are both shocked too, nakapag-usap na kami kagabi and they asked me tons of questions about it, they were so happy for me.
"What's your inspiration upon writing your stories?" the host asked me, it's a question from a reader. Blinding lights are around me, many people gathered today for this event and they are looking at me with awe and smiles.
Madali lang sagutin ang tanong na iyon, marami akong pwedeng sabihin. Pero gusto kong galing sa puso ang sagot ko. Iyon kasi ang mahalaga sa isang manunulat, inspirasyon. . . para makasulat, para magsulat.
The crowd cheered for me as I grab the microphone and smiled at them. "For me, one of the biggest inspiration why I write is because of my experiences. Experiences that I wanted to put into voice but I couldn't so, I put it into words instead where I'm good at."
Tumango-tango ang host sa 'kin, "Hmm, why is that?" the host followed up.
"Growing up, I had a lot of friends but I realized that an inner me was an introvert who wants her safe space. And there are words I want to say, there are stories I want to tell, there are circumstances I want to defend myself, there are times I want to. . . confess but I couldn't because I'm not good at speaking up for myself, I'm not good at giving reasons for myself. That is why, I laid everything in writing, all the things I couldn't speak, I wrote them all."
"I'm sure someone can relate to you, we all heard your stories through your words and we are grateful you used your pen to be heard," ani ng host. We proceeded with the next question. Kabado ako nang magsimula ang q and a, like I said. . . I'm not good at speaking, that is one of my delima. . . gratefully I'm enjoying the event so far.
"You mentioned earlier, you wanted to confess. Have you tried confessing your feelings through a book?" Saglit akong natigilan sa tanong, hindi ko akalain na kasali ito sa mga set of questions na itatanong sa 'kin. Kabado kong hinawakan ang mic, I laughed awkwardly dahil hindi ko alam paano sagutin ang tanong.
"I d-did," I said almost breathily. The crowd cheered and teased me kaya nahihiya akong umiling.
"Wow! We can see that you're shy so we're not going to ask further questions about that but. . . what page and what book did you made confession?" biro sa 'kin ng host. Nagtawanan na naman sila.
"Pinagkakaisahan n'yo yata ako," I glared at them jokingly. "Well, it's on page 143 of Lost In The Weather." They all cheered and teased me again. I recall on my mind what did I wrote there.
After the Q and A ay agad nang nag-proceed ang program sa book signing. It's so nice to talk to my readers and take photos with them, some even gave me gifts and letters that I truely appreciate.
"Hi, Ms. Lux! Sobrang fan mo po talaga ako, kinikilig ako ngayon." I laughed at one of my reader's energy.
"Hi, nice to meet you too. Ano'ng pangalan mo?"
"I'm Gabriela, sobrang saya ko po ngayon na naka-attend ako ng book signing!"
"Thank you so much for attending, masaya rin ako." I signed her book and took a selfie with her. Sayang nga lang at may limit ang interaction nila sa 'kin, marami rin kasi ang nakapila.
"Hi po Ms. Lux, I'm Renaa. I can't believe I'll be able to see you in person, sobrang saya ko!"
"Thank you Renaa, masaya rin akong makilala ka." I smiled. Marami pa ang pipirmahan ko pero hindi man lang ako nakaramdam ng pagod dahil sa mga approach nila sa 'kin.
"Hi, I'm Daniel, I'm a fan of yours." Medyo nagulat pa 'ko nang may lalaking nagpapirma ng libro niya sa 'kin. Parang nakakagulat lang na may male reader din pala talaga ako na um-attend sa book signing.
"Hello, nice to meet you!" I greeted another reader.
"Hello rin po, you're so pretty Ms. Author, by the way I'm Tana."
"Hi Tana!" I signed her book and we took a selfie together. Medyo naalog ang mesa ko kaya nahulog ang ballpen. Nang umalis si Tana ay yumuko ako para pulotin ang nahulog na ballpen. Medyo nahirapan ako kaya hindi ko pa naharap ang sunod na magpapapirma.
"Hi," the reader greeted after I picked up the pen. Sakto nang pag-ahon ko ay biglang nagtama ang mga mata naming dalawa.
"Yijin," I said breathily. My world immediately stopped spinning, my heart pounded so fast that breathing become so hard.
"It's nice to see you here, you looked good today," puna niya sa 'kin. My face instantly heated, huli na nag-sink in sa 'kin na nandito siya ngayon sa harapan ko.
Nandito siya? Ano'ng ginagawa niya rito? Bakit? He mentioned that my story is his favorite and I can't believe that he's really here!
"T-thank you," I said, still in strucked.
"I want to say a lot of things to you but for now, just sign my book. Pumila ako, ang dami mong fans," he chuckled. Sinabi niya iyon na parang dapat maging proud ako dahil nakaya niyang gawin 'yon. I immediately signed his book, halos manginig pa ang kamay ko nang gawin ko iyon.
"Here, it's done," I said after signing it.
"Great, I'm looking forward talking to you. I hope this time, you'll allow me to talk to you," aniya bago umalis. Halos mawindang naman ako sa sinabi niya.
Nawala na naman tuloy ang focus ko sa event. Buti na lang at naging abala ako sa pagharap sa mga readers at madali akong nakabawi, pero tuwing nababakante ako, si Yijin ang naiisip ko.
The event was successful. I want to spend more time with them kaya lang hindi na pwedeng e-extend. I bid them goodbye and a promised na mauulit pa ang ganitong event. I'm really happy and overwhelmed today that it's hard for me to put those emotions into words.
Body guards escorted me to the parking lot of the mall, ihahatid nila ako sa service van na sinakyan ko kanina papunta rito.
I had a lot of gifts from readers and it's nice thay they're here to help me out. Nasa basement na kami, malapit na sa van nang bahagya akong natigilan. Beside my service van is Yijin's car.
And he's there! Silently leaning on his car, obviously waiting for someone.