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"So... You want to be a special soldier?"
I stared at the older man who'd spoken to me like I was brain damaged. He sat behind his long desk in the middle of his hot, stuffy office, watching me with disgust on his face. He kept a fake smile behind his mustache, not bothering to hide how lowly he thought of me.
Commander Stoll.
"I wish to be part of your Special Operations Unit, sir," I replied, keeping both my posture and voice strong.
He wasn't happy with my reply, or maybe he hated how well I held my head up and didn't avert my gaze, no matter how long he tried to stare me down.
He snorted and stood up slowly. He stayed silent as he made his way around the desk and over to me. He towered over me so close I was forced to look up. He enjoyed that.
"And what makes you a good fit for my unit?" he asked.
"Sir, allow me," my captain spoke next to me, handing my file to this man who didn't want me here.
"Keep it brief," the older man said, not touching the file, still staring me down.
"Yes, sir," my captain said, and quickly went through my qualifications. My education, my training, my missions, and lastly, my accomplishments. People I had killed. Or protected. "As you can see, his talents are going to waste in our unit. In any other unit. He would make a great addition to your crew."
Commander Stoll snorted again.
"So you killed a few terrorists, and you think you have what it takes to be in the big league," he said, turning his back on me.
"Private Steele is strong. Fast. Quick to think. Many agree he has what it takes to be in your–"
"And who are these many?" the commander asked, turning back around. "Got any names to give me?"
My captain was taken aback. "Sir. With all due respect, I personally handpicked him. My name should be enough. Private Steele fills all the qualifications for this position. He is an exceptional fighter. I don't understand why we're still here talking about this when you've gladly accepted every soldier I've sent you?"
He did. We all did.
"With all due respect," the commander repeated the words slowly, mockingly, "I'm not quite sure you remember what counts as a good fit around here, Captain Fernard."
"His training alone–"
"Means nothing if his mere presence in the unit turns the rest of my men into mindless animals!" the commander said sharply. "You brought an omega into my base full of alphas!"
My captain looked angry, but he swallowed his words and took a calming breath. But it was I who spoke next.
"Sir. I've been on hormone suppressants for six years. I no longer produce hormones that could affect alphas, and they can't detect my heats. Even I can barely feel them," I said. "There are several documents in my file proving this all, and your own doctors can easily test me."
"That sounds good. In theory," he spat at me. "But when you go out there, you may not get your hands on your medication for weeks, and then what?"
"It will take months, maybe even years, before my hormonal balance goes back to normal after dropping my medication completely," I explained calmly. "That has already been tested with me. The documents are in the file."
"Very well, let's say that's not an issue. But you are capable of becoming pregnant, yes?" he asked, the tone in his voice promising nothing good.
"Yes, but I'm not here to have sex. However, I am on birth control because they amplify the effects of my suppressants," I explained, but the commander had started laughing halfway through.
"Not here to have sex..." he repeated in amusement and leaned against his desk. "I'm going to tell you this not because I'm trying to intimidate you, but because it is the cold, harsh truth. If you get captured, you will get raped. Even my Alphas aren't safe from it. The enemies we fight against have lost their humanity and will do whatever they can to humiliate our soldiers. So. Let me rephrase my question: is it possible you could get pregnant by a murdering terrorist?"
I took a short breath. "I am on birth control."
"And do you have complete trust in your birth control?"
I hated the fact that I did not. "No, sir. There is a small chance for it to fail."
"And that is if you can take them every single day," the commander said. "If you're held captive for months, I doubt the enemy will be courteous enough to buy you more pills."
My captain glanced at me. I saw worry in his eyes, and I knew he was already changing his mind about recommending me.
"If I were to be held captive for months, I doubt pregnancy will be on my list of biggest concerns," I said. "I trust my birth control enough."
The commander raised his eyebrows at me. "But that is not enough for me," he said harshly. "This is not a special club for special kids, private. This is our country's finest unit, and it costs our taxpayers tens of thousands of dollars each day. Feeding you, clothing you, arming you, and especially training you will cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. And you're telling me to take the risk with you only for you to get knocked up in the hands of our enemy?"
I stayed silent. He did have a fair point, no matter how much I hated to admit it. I'd never actually thought he would take me into his unit. He had never accepted an omega before, so I never believed I'd be an exception.
"Why would you even want to be transferred into my unit?" he asked. "Your life will be a living hell among my alphas. No one will take you seriously, no matter how strong and smart you are."
He would never understand that what he just said was exactly the reason I wanted in his unit. Because no one ever took me seriously, no matter how hard I worked, no matter how far I'd come. Reaching this far was an accomplishment on its own as an omega, but no one would see it as such. They saw this as a failure.
And it fucking angered me that the reason I'd get turned down was because I had a womb. Not because I wasn't skilled enough, strong enough, fast enough, or accomplished enough. But because I could make babies.
"I'm good at what I do, sir. If you'd read my file, you'd understand my place is here, in your unit. I have sacrificed a lot and endured even more to get this far. If my womb is the only obstacle, I'm sure I can do something about it," I said, trying not to let my anger show too much in my voice.
The commander raised his eyebrow, glanced at my file, then at me.
"You don't belong here, omega," he said slowly. "We don't need bitches in heat to ruin our prestigious unit."
"Sir. If you'd just read my file–"
"That's enough," he said angrily, turning his attention away from me.
"Sir! If you read my file–"
He slammed his hands on the table, standing up. His impressive physique seemed to grow twice in size from his anger when he laid his raging gaze on me.
"One more word from you, and I will have you arrested for disobedience and kicked out from the entire army!" he yelled, his face turning red.
"Riley..." my captain muttered in a warning tone.
"I do belong in your unit, sir," I said, because I had given everything to get this far, and if this was the furthest I'd get in my career anyway, I'd much rather get kicked out than let an alpha intimidate me.
Commander Stoll took deep breaths as he returned to me, his powerful body trembling from held-back anger. For a brief moment, I believed I was about to die. But I didn't back away. I held my ground, staring up at him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of scaring me.
When he suddenly grabbed me by my throat, pushed me hard against the wall, and brought his face in front of mine, I still didn't flinch or look away.
"You really think you belong here?" he spat at me.
"Yes," I said, putting all my determination into that one word.
Commander Stoll stared at me, looking like he would've gladly ripped my head off.
"Give me that damn file!" he hissed at my captain without taking his eyes off me. Once he had the file in his hand, he shoved me away and returned to his desk. "Now get the fuck out of my sight!"
"Yes, sir!" my captain said, hurried to grab me, and pushed me out of the office.
Once the door was closed, my captain turned to look at me like I'd lost my mind.
"Why the fuck did you do that??" he whispered and continued leading me down the hallway. "Are you completely mental??"
"I guess I am," I said, peering over my shoulder at the eerily quiet office. "Do you think...?"
"I think he's actually considering it," he said, glancing back as well. "You crazy son of a bitch."
"Let's hope it worked," I muttered.
*****
I didn't hear from the commander in several days. I had already given up hope, no matter how often my captain told me to stay positive, that these things took their own time. The commander had a lot to consider as well.
After four days, I had lost hope. But then I got a phone call.
With my heart beating faster than normal, I knocked on Commander Stoll's office door late on Friday night, then waited until he called me in. I entered, trying to seem polite and submissive. I was walking on thin ice, I knew that.
"Commander Stoll," I greeted him, bowing my head, then closed the door.
He sat behind his desk, watching me as I stood by the door, my hands behind my back. He clearly wasn't any more impressed with me, so I wondered why I was even there.
"I do not want you in my unit," he then said calmly, stood up, and walked around his desk. He leaned against it and crossed his arms before he continued. "I believe you are too weak. Omegas will always be weaker than us. There are dozens of alphas just as qualified as you, or even better, wishing they could be in my unit. Why would I waste my time on an omega who will give up within the first year."
"You do not know me, sir," I said, trying to keep my voice calm.
"I have read your file," he said. "And the only reason you stand there now is because I am somewhat impressed. Not because of the file, but because you had the balls to anger me, and you were ready to suffer the consequences."
"Does that mean...?"
"It means nothing," he said. "My opinion about you means nothing. Your skills, accomplishments, none of that means anything. Not here. Do you even understand where you're trying to get yourself into?"
"I do."
"You do...?" he said, snorting in disbelief. "No matter how far we've come as a society, you omegas will always be seen as lesser beings. I have no trouble admitting I think you should go back home and find yourself a nice alpha whose bed you can warm. Give them a few babies. That is where you belong. Not here, fighting terrorists."
"That is not a life I want," I said. "I am a fighter."
"I have a little over a hundred alphas in my base. Can you guess how many of them will see you as their equal?" he asked, and when I didn't reply, he answered his own question. "Fifty? Seventy? Somewhere around that, yes?"
"Sounds about right," I agreed.
"That means there will still be at least fifty alphas who will not see or treat you as their equal," the commander continued. "You'll be spending a lot of time with them. You'll train with them, live with them, sleep with them. You've been long enough in this army to know what happens when a good-looking omega such as yourself is left alone with a bunch of alphas who have no respect for you."
"I have," I said slowly.
"You will get molested," he said with a nod. "It's only a matter of time, and no one is going to do a damn thing about it. Not here. The alphas claim you seduced them, or they went crazy because of your heat, so the higher ups will see you as the problem. It doesn't even matter if they're proved wrong because this only happened because you're an omega. If you raise your voice about it, your rapist only gets a slap on their wrist because they've cost hundreds of thousands of taxpayer's money, while you get a small severance package and a one-way ticket back home. That's how they'll solve this problem. The alphas know this, so there's nothing holding them back. And that is why I don't want you in my unit."
I breathed out while he waited for my reaction. "Sir... I know how these things work around here. I've been in this army for five years."
"And you're still coming back for more," he said, snorting in amusement. "And you've still not gotten pregnant?"
"No, sir."
He clicked his tongue, then spent a moment watching me. "You'll have your womb sewn shut if you want to join my unit. I'm sure as hell not taking any risks of wasting our time and money only for you to get pregnant. You understand?"
"Yes, sir," I said, and he raised his eyebrow at me, like he'd not expected me to agree to it.
"The army recommends the Hochleng's procedure or something similar," he continued. "Lucky for you, the army will cover the costs, but that means you won't get to decide which operation you'll have, and where it'll happen. Understand?"
"Yes, sir. I'm fine with that," I said.
"Fair enough. You do seem serious, so I am willing to give you a chance," he said. "I'm very interested to see how long you will last."
"Thank you, sir," I said, but he raised his hand.
"Not so fast," he said. "I better not hear a single complaint about you getting raped in my base, you understand? If you join my unit, you give up your right to cry about it. I have warned you fair and square, and I will be very, very angry if you can't take that kind of abuse after I've told you repeatedly that is exactly what's going to happen to you in my base, do you understand?"
"I understand," I said. "I can take it."
"Good," he said. "And now you have to prove it."
"Sir?" I frowned.
He patted the desk next to him, stood up, and opened his belt. "Drop your pants and spread your legs."
I swallowed.
There once was a time when I should've turned my back on this path and chosen a different life for myself. It was too late now. What I'd put myself through... What I'd let people do to me... What I had done to get where I was now...
If I now walked away, all of it would've been for nothing.
I slowly made my way to the desk while opening my belt. The commander chuckled when I turned my back on him. I felt his hands on the pants of my uniform as he grabbed them to pull them down. I leaned against the desk and rested my forehead on its cool surface.
The omega in me stayed silent, defeated. It didn't want this alpha. This one wasn't ours. None of them were. Crushed by all these men, it had given up hope a long time ago. I could barely feel its presence these days...
The commander stepped behind me.
"Welcome to the Special Operations Unit," he said, laughing.