Abel had been cooking and made the most delicious dinner at his house. Popped open a bottle of wine that went well with the meal too. It was like after meeting his dad, he had no restraint when it came to food. He wanted to cook everything for me and honestly, who was I to deny him that? I selflessly let him cook and I selflessly ate it all.
Selflessly.
We were in bed, watching telly after dinner. Abel's place had tellies in almost every room. Alright there were like three rooms, the kitchen/living room/dining room, the bathroom and the bedroom, but even the bathroom had a small television in the shower.
I had my head on his chest, my fingers sliding over his stomach and ribs. Ridiculous how soft his skin was. I wished mine was this soft. Maybe it was a vampire thing. Maybe they were just born with soft skin. Like a genetic thing. He'd probably reply with some shellfish fact if I asked. Which was ridiculously cute.
"I'm hot," I said and sat up.
"Yeah, you are," Abel chuckled.
"You idiot," I laughed and shook my head. "I meant I'm warm. Like sweating. And I wanna take my shirt off."
"Hey, I'm not gonna protest to you getting more naked. Ever."
I loved how he was so casual about me not being casual at all about this. It was like I had taken my shirt off in front of him a million times already, and it made me feel very secure.
I grabbed the hem and lifted it over my head, throwing it at the messy chair that already housed some discarded clothing.
Abel moved his arm so I could lay down on his chest again. He didn't even comment on anything about it all. I didn't know how much I had wanted it to just be a normal thing. For me to take my shirt off.
Abel's fingers ran over my arm and shoulder, and it soothed me. He continued to watch the dumb reality show we had gotten hooked on, his fingers absentmindedly running over my skin.
"I swear these ladies go on a trip every season and then they act all surprised when they start fighting," Abel said then.
I snorted and nodded, moving a little closer to him, slinging my leg over his. We watched the dumb reality tv-show in silence for a good while, before Abel's fingers stilled.
"Hey, Gael, when your shirt is off, can I touch your chest or nah?"
I mulled that over for a bit. "I think you can touch if my shirt is off."
"Right, I just wanted to know before I like... Dive in."
I looked up and snorted. He smiled back. "You wanna dive in?"
"God, are you serious? All the time, Gael, like literally all the time."
I chuckled, sat up and took a deep breath. "Alright, you want me to explain what is what?"
"If you're comfortable with that, yeah." He sat up too, so we were sitting across from each other, cross-legged.
"Right," I said just to make the time go a bit. Draw it out. I hadn't actually told anyone about this. Ever. I had thought it over and over so if it ever happened, I could just go through it methodically. Unemotionally. "So, my chest was pretty mangled after the attack. They tried to patch me up as good as they could, but it honestly looked like minced beef, so they decided after the stitches came out and I had healed somewhat, that I'd get skin grafts. Also, because like... My whole nipple was gone, and they wanted to reconstruct it. So," I said and pointed to the left on my chest, to a large rectangular scar. "They put a balloon with water under my skin to make it stretch so they could take skin from there and kind of like... Remake the right side of my chest."
"Wait, hold on, your nipple is fake then?" Abel was about to touch my chest, but he hesitated.
I nodded. "Yeah, they can sew it, so it becomes nipple-shaped. And then tattoo it so it matches the colour."
I grabbed his hand and brought it to my chest, letting him touch the scar tissue.
"And you don't feel this, right?"
"No, there's no nerves there."
"Okay, this is gonna sound so dorky, but it's so cool they can reconstruct nipples like this."
"They do it mostly for people who've had a mastectomy, you know? So I was a bit of an anomaly for them. But they were all very nice, and the doctor was very honest about how this was going to look. He said, it wasn't going to look like I was never attacked, and they mostly focused on it at least not causing me discomfort. Most of it was not for looks. The nipple reconstruction definitely was, and honestly, I don't regret having it done. And while I don't show my chest it does make it easier for me."
"Is it bad I thought it would be... Worse?" Abel grimaced a little.
"You don't think this is bad?" I arched a brow at him.
"Don't get me wrong... Like, I love you no matter what and I don't love you any less because of this, but in my head, I had made it so much worse. And now it's a bit of a... I don't wanna say let-down. But yeah."
I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry but that's so dumb. What did you expect?"
"I don't know!" he laughed and shrugged. "Just not this! Like, yes." He took a deep breath and sobered. "There's obvious scarring and I'm not gonna pretend it's not there. I'm not gonna be like 'oh you're so beautiful yada yada' and be all wishy-washy. I know how much this means to you. So, I'm gonna do you the courtesy and say, yes, there's scarring and yes it's obvious. But, and that's a big but, mind you, I honestly thought it was so much worse."
His hand moved down to my waist, settling it there, his arm resting on my leg. "And I don't think it's ugly. I think it's a part of you and it's there. I don't know."
I couldn't help but smile. "You're struggling so hard, so I'll bail you out. You don't gotta say anything else. Just the fact that you didn't like... Bolt out of here, puking on your way is all I could ask for."
"Puke? Oh, come on. Scars are... I'm such a dork." He sighed deeply. "I think scars are kind of cool. Like, I don't get them. So, I've always had a fascination with them. Your skin is so cool for enduring that, functioning now and like... Human medicine is awesome for being able to do all this."
I nodded and looked down at my chest. "Yeah, I'm grateful for what they were able to do but there's also just limits. And I... Obviously don't feel great about it."
"Well, your upper body is hot regardless because there's like a little muscle here, a little definition, some nice collarbones, which I'm an absolute sucker for."
"You like collarbones? You should've said so sooner, like, I would've like... Taken my shirt off way earlier. I know I've got some pointy-ass collarbones." I laughed a little nervously getting a little uncomfortable with it all now. I had done well enough for one night and it wasn't like I was cured from all the discomfort I was feeling surrounding my chest.
I grabbed the covers and pulled them around my shoulders.
"Too much?" Abel asked and grabbed me, getting me to turn my back against his chest. He bundled me in the covers, hugging me close.
"Yeah, I think that's enough for one night."
"Want me to go get your shirt?"
"Would you?"
"Of course." He kissed my cheek and rose from the bed and retrieved my shirt for me. I gratefully took it from him and put it back on. "You know, you can take it off for like two minutes and then put it back on, if you want. If you feel like it. Do whatever you want, yeah?"
I nodded and leaned in, kissing him. "Thank you for being this understanding."
"Hey, I mean... You're dating someone who definitely gets off on drinking your blood and you've been very supportive of that. And I get that it's weird as fuck."
I bopped my head from side to side. "I mean, it does take some time getting used to. There's a lot of things to learn, especially about your way of life, your culture, the whole vampire thing. But I'm open to it."
"And that's one of the many reasons I love you." He grabbed the back of my head, getting me to kiss him again. "I know it's weird," he murmured against my lips and pulled back, his hands cupping my cheeks. "And I'm just grateful for you being this open to it. And you know, you can always ask me anything. Like anything."
"Same goes to you too, obviously."
"Just one question, now that you've opened up that avenue." He chuckled a little nervously and then leaned back, grabbing my hand. "How long were you in the hospital?"
"Three months."
"And this was after your dad died, right?"
I nodded and looked down at our intertwined hands.
"So, you did all of this alone?"
I nodded again.
"I'm so sorry, Gael, that's a shitton to go through."
I rubbed my eye and shrugged. "I don't know. I was in an induced coma for a while. I had some head injuries too."
"You're so strong." He said it with so much love. There was just so much love radiating from him, and it made me so weak. I leaned in, resting my forehead on his shoulder. He slid his free hand under my shirt, running it up and down my back.
It was nice to just sit there and let him stroke his fingers over my skin. I had taken such a big step that night and I felt proud but also so safe. I had felt so unsafe after losing my dad because I was so utterly alone. But now I wasn't. I truly wasn't alone with Abel here, and it felt so great. It was warming me up.