Idiots to Lovers (bxb)

By itsmeimthevampire

355K 20.8K 16.2K

||WATTY WINNER 2023🌟|| Two strangers pretend to be a couple to win a dumb bet. The wager: they must enrol in... More

1 | Neon Nike's and Chocolate Muffins
2 | Sunlight, Buttercups, and All Things Yellow
3 | Lost Keys and Grandma's Wrestling Career
4 | A Bit-too-sweet Cake and the Future of the Galaxy
5 | Faking Allergies and Losing At Therapy
6 | Fake Orchids and Exchanging Numbers
7 | The Pain of Having an Older Sibling
8 | A Furious Manager and A Brave Escapade
9 | Stolen Ice Cream and Sneaky Sheep
10 | Breaking Eggs For A Hundred Cupcakes
11 | Lumpy Toadstools and Fondant Flowers
12 | Rainbow Caterpillar and The Chair Pile
13 | Three Reasons Why
14 | A Depressing Spotify Playlist
15 | Just Two Bros Making Christmas Cake
16 | Roller Skates and Disco Lights
17 | random short chapter just here to piss my readers off xP
18 | why can't this boy just go out and do something instead of listening to...
19 | The Allergies Are For Real This Time (I Swear)
20 | Breaking Brownies and a Bit of Bribery
21 | Happy Songs and Runny Eggs
Part Two - taking reader requests for special scenes
22 | That Annoying Beam of Light That Wakes You Every Morning
23 | Always Keep Your Phone on Silence When Sneaking Around
24 | The Addiction Starts
25 | House on Fire
26 | Things Only Get Worse Where Everett Is Concerned
27 | The Not-Very-Relaxing Drive
Bonus | Poem by Brian
28 | Ice-cream Date
Flashback | So Far In The Friendzone
Flashback | It Was Most Definitely A Date, Right?
Flashback | It doesn't make a difference if he's gay-he still wouldn't like you
30 | Glow in the dark stickers
31 | Honestly, I do not trust everett and I do not trust whatever he is planning
32 | How Many Kinds of Green Are There Anyway?
33 | Paint Got On Everything Except For The Wall
34 | This Was Really Not My Fault
35 | The Mandatory Fairground Date In Every Wattpad Book
36 | Everyone Knows Carnival Games Are Rigged
37 | Baby You're A Haunted House
38 | No Space For You on My Beanbag
39 | That Questionable Christmas Cake From Earlier
40 | Snow Monster
41 | Secret Recipe Hot Chocolate
42 | This is why you should never preheat the oven
43 | A Big, Huge, Giant Hat
44 | A big ball of cake rolling across the floor
45 | Bon-Bons and (Not) Baking
46 | Christmas at the Cafe
47 | Gingerbread House
48 | Practice is Overrated
49 | A Festive Surprise
50 | Caramel Candycane Christmas Candle β„’
51 | A Controversial Christmas Present
52 | In The Moonlight
Authors Note
Quiz | Which Character Am I?

29 | You've sucked me into the absolute torture that is Wattpad

4K 263 162
By itsmeimthevampire

Everett

I woke up with a start to Clementine banging on the window. I groaned as I pulled my feet down from the couch and reached over to open the latch.

"You couldn't just let me sleep?" I whined.

"It's cold outside," he said plaintively.

His black hoodie was pulled up over his chocolate brown hair, casting a shadow over his face. His brows drew together and a worried look flickered past his eyes.

"You have the key to open the front door...right?" Clementine glanced at the open window in trepidation.

I glared at him. "Of course I do! It's—" I covertly looked over at the door. "Oh okay, it is there, don't worry."

I padded over the carpet and let him in. Clementine put his hood down as he entered; there was a crunchy yellow leaf entwined in his hair.

I pushed my fingers through his silky locks, letting the twig fall to the floor as I drew him into a hug. "I missed you."

"I saw you just yesterday," he murmured. But I felt him smile against my neck all the same. "I missed you too."

"I finished making the brownies; they came out really well," I claimed as I led him to the kitchen.

"How do you know?" he joked.

"I taste-tested, obviously."

I got out a box of strawberries from the fridge, setting them next to the crushed walnuts and slabs of chocolate. Clementine put two pans on the stove, dropping in the dark and white chocolate separately in order to melt them.

"Should we make out till it heats?" I teased, slipping an arm around his waist.

"Too soon, Everett." Clementine shook his head solemnly. "Besides, I have to keep stirring it."

I pulled myself onto the counter, leaning my head against the kitchen shelf as I watched Clementine work. His floppy brown hair fell over his violet eyes, a frown of concentration between his straight, dark brows.

The chocolate didn't take long to melt. Clementine turned off the heat as he poured it into two drizzle bottles and started decorating the brownies. He tapped his long fingers on the side of the bottle during each pause, pursing his pillowy lips that I now knew were every bit as soft as they looked.

Clementine squeezed the bottle hard, white chocolate spurting out and streaking across the brownies.

"That looks kind of wrong," I muttered.

"What? No it doesn't." He gave another experimental squeeze, oozing out more of the white liquid. "Shut up, it looks fine."

I slapped a hand over my mouth, trying to stifle my laughter.

"Oh my God, stop." Clementine started laughing as well, his purple eyes crinkling at the corners. "That's so immature."

"You thought it too!"

"Only after you put the idea in my head." His eyes widened. "I can't stop seeing it now."

I caught his eye and it only fueled our laughter. Clementine's hands shook too much to complete the pattern. He dramatically tossed aside the bottle and grabbed the dark chocolate instead. "Alright, we're done with this."

We worked in silence for a while. Well, he worked and I sat on the counter where he worked, my eyes drifting shut as I gazed at him. I yawned and let my head lean back on the shelf again.

Clementine's phone suddenly beeped with a notification, lighting up on the counter between us. He quickly snatched it away as I glanced down at the screen.

"What's that?" I asked, only curious at the way his cheeks had caught fire.

"Nothing!" he exclaimed, turning beet red.

My interest was now piqued. I grinned, reaching for it. "Show me."

"No! I- argh." He swiped at my hand. "It's just an update, it's not important."

"Update?"

His phone beeped again, and then twice more. Clementine flushed. "There are often updates on Fridays."

I gasped. "Wait, you don't mean—"

His phone lit up again with the unmistakable bright orange glare of a Wattpad notification.

"Oh my god, fine I'll admit it." He threw his phone on the counter in defeat. "I'm hooked. I'm addicted. I was weak."

I gaped at him in shock. "No way."

"You did this to me." He pointed an accusing finger. "And I'm all caught up now and I have to suffer waiting for updates. You have sucked me into the absolute torture that is wattpad."

"I thought Wattpad was 'a disgrace to the entire writing industry,'" I quoted him.

"Ha-ha, that's kind of rude. I don't think I said that," Clementine feigned, laughing lightly.

I stabbed a finger on his chest. "That is word for word what you said!"

"Okay, I take it back!" He huffed, blowing air into in pink cheeks and holding it there. "I didn't realize there was such quality queer content on there."

"Ah, right. That's why I read it too," I admitted.

"Right? You just can't find this stuff on trad pub; the whole market is dominated by cishet publishers. Anyway." Clementine shot me an accusing glare. "This horrible vampire pirate book only updates like twice a month!"

I grinned. "But now we can suffer together."

"Cruel." A smile twitched at Clementine's lips as he set to cutting the leaves off the strawberries.

"Do you need any help with that?" I drummed my feet against the side of the counter.

"No, no I can finish up, thanks."

"I can cut them for you to place—or I can sprinkle the walnuts." I reached towards the bag.

Clementine quickly pulled it away from me, panic crossing his features for a fleeting moment. "No! I mean, you should rest."

"No it's fine, I'm not that tired anymore. I can help you." I tried to grab the drizzle bottle but Clementine pushed it out of reach. "Let me help you, sweetheart."

"I would but- it would be wrong to not decorate these myself, since your dad is paying me to as well," Clementine said piously.

My eyes narrowed.

"Alright fine, we're supposed to send out this order today and I can't risk you—" He gestured to the perfect strawberry swirls he had created. "Everett-ing this up."

My jaw went slack. "Did you just use my name as an adjective?"

Clementine smirked- smirked at me and gave no response. He pushed his hair back, revealing the pointed ears that hid behind the chocolate brown locks. Turning his attention back to the brownies, he added the walnuts and continued with the spiral design.

I yanked lightly at the tip of his pointy ear. "You look like an elf."

That got his attention. His brows furrowed as he turned to me. "What?"

I bit back a smile, leaning in closer. "Like a little pointy-eared elf."

"Stop that." Clementine swatted at me as my lips grazed against the ear I'd just been whispering in. His purple irises flashed with ire, but were undercut by the roses blooming in his cheeks. "Don't call me an elf."

"A cute pixie?"

Violent violet eyes turned to pin me down with a glare. His apparent pique still in heavy contrast to his blushing face. Helpless to resist, I leaned in to peck his lips.

Clementine smiled against me, his tone turning teasing. "If I'm a cute pixie then you're an annoying gremlin."

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