Hey guys here's another update. It's an emotional update so brace yourself up....
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Author's POV (Edited)
"Shiza, beta thora ro lo."
Translation:( Shiza, dear please cry.)
Shehnaz's worried and concerned voice was like a tiny fragment to Shiza. She couldn't feel anything. Her senses had gone numb since yesterday. Her mind had stopped thinking and her limbs had stop working. She was a perfect example of a soul trapped inside a lifeless body. She couldn't seem to react at anything.
Everyone who tried to talk to her had to face ignorance. She doesn't say anything. She kept staring into the nothingness. Her hands were wrapped around her knees and her knees were pulled up to her chest. Her hairs were opened and roamed messily around on her face. Her face was devoid of any emotions. Her eyes were empty. They were hollow inside. She looked so old just in a span of two days. Her smile had gone lost somewhere.
Her eyes lost their shine. Her face looked so dry that it could crack open. Her hands were rough indicating that she hadn't applied any cream on them. She hadn't eaten anything since yesterday. Her stomach was begging her to eat but her mind was too gone to even register what was happening around her. She was there. But her soul was lost. She was lost.
Shehnaz sighed in worry. Shiza's grief was too much and she knew it will be difficult for her. But she had to eat something. She hadn't eaten anything since the funeral yesterday. She didn't even shed an ounce of tears. She was numb. She had trapped her emotion inside herself. Shehnaz was worried about her health.
She hadn't eaten anything. She refused to even drink water. She kept sitting in the dark staring into the nothingness. She was worried about her mental stability. She should let it out of her. She was bubbling it inside herself. It was not good for her health.
Letting out will ease her grief to some point. It was unexpected and dealing with it will probably take too much time for Shiza. But she had to deal with it. She can't let herself wander in the darkness. Her khala wouldn't like to see her like that. She would never want her to stop eating and drinking.
Shehnaz stroked her hairs before standing up and saying
"Take some rest, beta. Sleep for some time."
But as usual, she was greeted with silence. She controlled her urge to cry and exited the room. She took a deep breath to control her emotions. She felt so bad for that girl. She had lost her only family. Shiza had suffered so much and now the loss had added into it too. Shehnaz couldn't stop herself and tears left her eyes. She prayed to Allah to grant Shiza Sabr and the immunity to deal with the sudden grief. She only prayed for her betterment. She knew how hard it must be for her. But she was tense worried for her. She descended downstairs in distress.
Shah Zain was pacing back and forth in the living room. When he heard the footsteps, he looked up. He immediately rushed to Shehnaz before asking worriedly
"Did she eat anything?"
Shehnaz sighed in disappointment before answering
"Nahi, beta. Wo to mujh se bat tak nahi kar rhi ha. Tum uske Sath raho."
Translation:(No, son. She isn't even talking to me. Go and stay with her)
He nodded his head but Zohra's voice stopped him
"Agar wo apse bat nahi krrhi ha to bhala Zain se kiun krege."
Translation:( If she isn't talking to you than why will she talk to Zain.)
He stopped in his tracks. His mind only said one thing 'Not today mama.' But he remained quiet and let Shehnaz deal with her. Shehnaz glared hardened at Zohra before spoke with finality
"I have total belief that he will make her eat food. A husband and wife's relationship is special."
Zohra scoffed and Shah Zain without waiting any second ascend upstairs to take care of his grieving wife..
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Shah Zain entered the dimly lit room. He saw her sitting across the balcony door. Her posture was still the same when Shehnaz visited her. Shah Zain took a deep breath before walking to her. He settled down beside her before resting his back on the wall behind. The weather had gotten cold and chilly. Yet, still she was sitting there without any cover up. His worries for her only intensified.
He cleared his throat before finally muttering
"Please eat something, Shiza."
His words didn't get any reply back. She didn't show any movement. Her eyes were just fixed at the view infront of her. His shoulders fell at her ignorance before he scooted closer to her. Still, no response or any movement. He held her cold and dry hands before saying softly
"You need to eat something. You can't starve yourself like this, Shiza."
His voice held desperation somewhere. He doesn't want her to get sick. She was already suffering and sickness would only make her more weak. Still getting no response, he sighed deeply knowing very well that he needs to be extra careful with her.
She was grieving and it will not be good if he pressures her. She haven't even cried till then. She was penting up emotions under herself. He needs her to let out these emotions. It will not probably lessen her grief but it will definitely help her feel at ease for some point. But she wasn't even talking. He wanted her to share everything with her. He needs her to share her grief with him. He can't see her like this.
He again said
"Shiza, please talk to me. Share your grief with me. Don't be silent like that."
She still didn't say anything. He was getting anxious. She can't spend her days like this. She needs to speak up. He needs to know what she was feeling inside her heart. He squeezed her hand before muttering with more care
"Shiza, please you're scaring me. Don't stay like this. Talk to me, please."
His voice was getting desperate by the end of each words. She finally looked at him with her hollow eyes. His breath relaxed when she finally atleast look at him. She shook her head very slightly before resting her head on her knees back again and muttering in a very weak and tired voice
"I don't want to eat."
Her voice was so weak and filled with sadness that it made his heart clench. She was always so sweet and refreshing. She was always trying to make everyone smile. But now seeing her in such a condition made Shah Zain sick to the core. She doesn't deserve any of the grief. But it was all Allah's Will. He definitely knows what's best for His Creation.
He had his pure faith in Allah that He will make Shiza overcome her grief. But for that to happen, she needs to talk and eat and drink. She can't just lock herself in the room ignoring her health. Her khala would never like that. She would always want to see her happy and satisfied with her.
So, he decided to explain her
"Shiza, do you think your khala will be happy seeing you like this?"
She doesn't look at him but her posture changes. Her posture went alert and it was like she was silently asking him to continue so he did
"You know how much she loves you. Would she be happy seeing her daughter ignoring her health like that? Would she be happy seeing that her daughter had locked herself in and refused to eat anything?"
Her eyes were teary. Shah Zain thought of it as a victory. She needs to cry. She needs to let her emotions out. He didn't stop and continued
"I know your grief is too much and it was unexpected too. I can't even relate to what you must be feeling. I can't sugarcoat that everything will be fine because it will be not. Not like for sometime though. But after that you have to overcome your grief. You need to station your life back."
Shiza took a long deep breath to control herself not to cry. He again squeezed her hand before continuing again
"I know it must be hard. But please eat someting. I'm not asking you to just forget about it and restart your life. I know it's not possible for some time. But at least don't neglect your health like this. Please talk to me. Cry all you want. I won't judge you, I promise. Even if you want me to leave you alone so you can cry than I'll gladly leave. But please don't hide your emotions like that."
His voice also cracked at the end. He never saw her this sad ever before. Not even when he used to hate her. He absolutely hated that look on her angel like face. She was not meant to be sad. She deserved to be happy all the time. But he knows this is life. It will not always bring happy moments but depressing and sad moments like these too.
He silently prayed that she might think of his words and act on them. When she didn't say anything, he decided to leave her be. Maybe, she needs sometime alone. But before he could properly stand, her hand wrapped around his wrists halting his movement. He looked down at her and found her looking at him.
Her eyes were on the verge of tears and she was taking deep breaths to control her sobs. But they weren't stopping. He immediately sat down and embraced her in a hug.
And she.finally.let.it.out. Sobs by sobs left her throat and she wailed. She doesn't care who might hear her. She cried and screamed and wailed until there was no sobs left to be came out. She was now silently crying because her body was shaking still.
Shah Zain kept his arms wrapped around her and rubbed her back all the while in her breakdown. She emptied all her emotions. It was good for her health too. He doesn't stop her from crying because he wants her to empty all her emotions. It will make her feel light. He stayed there with her for so long until his legs gave up but he refused to leave her alone in that state.
After all, that was husband and wife do. Not leaving partner in the times of distress...
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Shah Zain's POV
Right now, I was sitting on the bed beside sleeping Shiza. She slept in the middle of her crying session. I didn't want to disturb her since she wasn't getting any proper sleep since two days but I have to shift her to a more comfortable position. So, I carried her and gently laid her on the bed. I covered her with the blanket before brushing her hairs back. Her face looked so void of brightness. I could practically felt the hollowness inside her cheeks.
Dried marks of tears coated her cheeks and I felt so sad about her condition. She was suffering and I can't do anything to lessen it. I was thinking about ways to divert her mind. I decided not to leave her alone because she might get a nightmare. She hadn't gotten any but I had a little bit of instincts. We tend to get nightmares when we're struggling with a loss.
My mind wandered off to the night when it all happened. The day when I told her to visit her khala to refresh her mind...
Flashback..
Shah Zain returned home early as he promised to Shiza. He greeted everyone in the lounge before making his way upstairs. As he entered inside, he saw her getting dressed. She was wearing the same clothes but she had wore earrings and a little bit of mascara to make her look decent enough. He watched her combing her hairs in the mirror.
She tied them into a fairly high ponytail before turning around. She stopped in her tracks when she found him standing there. Red coated her cheeks before she asked him in a shy voice
"How long have you been here?"
Shah Zain answered with an amused expression plastered on his face
"Not long enough.. Are you ready?"
He further asked. She nodded her head before he went inside the bathroom to get fresh and to change into some lighter clothes. He came back fully dressed in a light blue shirt with dark blue pants underneath. He ruffled his wet hairs before grabbing his keys, phone and wallet. Both descended downstairs and bade farewell to the family.
Throughout the drive, Shiza was feeling uneasy. Her heart was beating unusually loud and her mind was constantly alarming her about something. Shah Zain noticed the way her expressions looked lost but he decided not to pry further. Maybe talking to her khala will ease her mind.
Soon, they reached the place. But Shiza didn't come out of the car. Rather, she just sat there and watched the house. Her instincts were telling her that something is wrong but she doesn't want to believe that. Nothing is wrong. She will now go and meet her khala who will welcome her with a wide smile and open arms.
Shah Zain depend her car door and she came out. She took a deep breath before bringing a smile on her face. Both walked towards the house and knocked at the gate. They waited for few seconds but no one answered. Shiza again knocked but still nobody answered. She became worried. Khala and Bisma were usually at home by this time. She was about to knock again when their neighbour, Alisha came out. She greeted her before telling her
"Shiza, what are you doing here?"
Shiza got confused before answering
"I'm here to meet khala."
Alisha asked her totally confused
"But didn't you know?"
Shiza eyebrows furrowed before she asked
"What?"
Alisha sighed heavily and the next words she spoke made Shiza froze
"Your khala had been taken to the hospital. She had an heart attack."
Color drained out of Shiza's face and her body seemed to stumble. Shah Zain immediately held her from behind. Tears left her eyes and she was too stunned to react. Her mind was only repeated the dreadful words of Alisha over and over again. She seemed to shake her head and Shah Zain asked Alisha
"Which hospital did they take her?"
Alisha told them about the hospital before he made Shiza sat inside the car who was now crying and drive hurriedly to the nearby hospital. As they reached there, he interrogated about her khala and they went to the second floor where the operation had been currently going on.
Shiza's eyes were blood red and tears were leaking her eyes. She was constantly praying for her khala's health. She meant the world to her. She can't lose her. She found Bisma sitting on the nearby chair. She rushed to her side and Bisma was shocked to see her there. Shiza immediately asked her in angry tone
"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you call me?"
Her voice cracked at the end. She was deeply worried. Bisma cried harder and Shiza wrapped her arms around her. It must be difficult for Bisma. It was her mother inside the OT. Shiza rubbed her arms before asking her what happened. Bisma hiccuped before narrating everything
"Ammi was not feeling well since many days. I even asked her to visit the doctor but you know how stubborn she is. She refused to and said that she will take her medicines. But today when we were about to eat food, she started crying in pain and was clutching her left hand. I tried to calm her down and call the doctor but before that she fainted. I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. I was crying and begging her to open her eyes. Then Yasir bhai helped me bringing her here."
Yasir was Alisha's husband. Shiza sighed before rubbing her shoulder and assuring her
"She will be ok. Nothing will happen to her."
Bisma only cried harder before saying
"Doctors said her condition was critical. We have to be ready for anything."
Shiza's heart churned. Tears threatened to fall but she didn't let them. She needs to be strong for Bisma. The operation was still going on. She was hopeful that she will receive good news.
It's been approx. 2 hours since the operation. Doctors had not come out yet. Shiza was constantly praying and Shah Zain was sitting beside her side. He had informed his family and they had also arrived. He didn't leave Shiza's side for once and kept assuring her that everything will be alright.
She was praying for her khala. She can't lose her. She was her very person that she can turn to even in the hardest times. She was not ready to lose her.
Finally, the door opened to the operation theater. She immediately stood up from her place. Bisma and Shiza simultaneously asked the doctor
"How's khala?"
"How's my Ammi?"
The doctor took out his mask and heaved a deep sigh. And the next words he spoke shook the ground from the feet of Shiza and Bisma
"I'm sorry but we couldn't save her.."
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I don't think anyone was expecting that. But it is how it is. Tell me if you like it. I'll see you soon.
Till then loads of love
Allah Hafiz
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