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03 - Where It Hurts
U N E D I T E D
"If it's love you want again, don't waste your time."
— Hurt you by The Weeknd
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Emi Hayashi was 17 years old when she first met Oliver.
She was never one for sports, sure she attended parties and heard about the popular athletes in their school but she never really bothered to know anything more than that. She was familiar with some names like Itoshi Sae who was probably the most popular athlete in their school. She was sure the entirety of Japan probably knew the redhead's name. There was also the athlete who modelled on the side– Yukimiya Kenyu.
She didn't bother memorizing any names, other than the ones her friends mostly talked about. It wasn't her looking down on them– hell she was sure she didn't exist in their world– sports and athletes just had never really been her thing. And she was so sure that it would be the same until she graduated college.
But life has a way of surprising you by throwing you things you'd least expect to catch.
And she wasn't prepared for the changes Oliver Aiku was about to make to her life.
She never really knew him from the get-go. She heard of his name but that's all there was, she never pried to know more about the guy. But that was the thing, she knew his name but not who he was. After being bribed and begged for so long by her friends to join them in watching a match that their school would be participating in, she finally agreed. Their first meeting had been like a cliche scene out of a movie.
There was a reason why she never really bothered with sports, that was because of her lack of athletic abilities. But she was sure that even if she had been an average person who could play, she would still not be able to catch the ball that was speeding towards her. Not knowing what to do, she decided to just close her eyes and brace the impact. Till it never came.
Opening her eyes, she was met by the sight of a dark-haired boy with dual-colored eyes. As if the world suddenly gained so much color, she finally got to meet the boy who she only knew by name before.
Bowing to her and repeatedly apologizing for his teammate's reckless actions, Emi dumbfounded and still shocked with everything, just nodded and agreed to everything the boy had said. Hearing the teasing voices of her friends on her side she knew she was fucked.
Emi was 17 years old when she fell in love at first sight with Oliver. The guy who made her life brighter and full of color.
—
She genuinely thought things would end there, the boy probably wasn't even aware of her existence nor her name. She was fine with just having him as a happy crush in her last year of high school. He had certainly made her high school life more interesting. Now that she was aware of who he was, sports suddenly didn't seem as boring as it had been originally for her. Sure all the rules and plays would still tire her, but seeing Aiku play balanced it all out.
The games she attended where she watched him on the sidelines and the glances she stole when she saw him around school should have been where it stopped. Admiration, a crush, everybody had those. She knew she'd get over it sooner or later.
Until she finally got to formally meet him. She didn't even know they were attending the same university till classes started and she ended up pairing with him for a school project. Everything was still so cliche she once thought. Sure she never really had expectations when it came to her crush on him but she would be lying if she said she wasn't delighted by the fact that he finally knew who she was.
Sure it was so simple, but for someone who had a reputation like his, it didn't feel that way.
But this was the first time she got to know about his reputation, things her 17-year-old self never bothered learning. Maybe it was because she was more focused on Oliver as the player but never really who he was outside the field. Emi finally realized just how popular the man and his friend group were. She knew it should have turned her off– the fact that he slept around, couldn't keep a girlfriend for more than a month or so, and all the other stuff she learned about his "relationships".
She didn't know why or what it was about Oliver that kept dragging her in. She knew at some point she fell into the category of Oliver's so-called situationships despite neither of them stating it out loud. The man never really called her a friend but would ask her to hang out every now and then, which he apparently does with all his "lady friends" when he has nothing else to do.
She should have hated it, how she only gets to be with him when he tells her to. But she basked at the slightest attention the man gave her, it was probably the same thing with all the other women she knew of. At that point she didn't care, at least she could rest well knowing that Oliver doesn't favor anyone higher than the other.
She had nothing to be jealous of.
Hangouts turned into something more and at that point, she knew she couldn't let him go. No matter how much she tries to tell herself to just give up, she couldn't. While he was nowhere near the best, he still gave her happiness and comfort. She felt loved even if it were only between sheets and it probably didn't mean anything to the man she was with. Her head was telling her to respect herself more, to give herself more credit.
To be with someone who'd love her the same way. To be with someone other than Oliver.
But like a drug, she continued to indulge herself with his presence despite knowing how bad it was becoming for her. Up to the point wherein she knew she was addicted and she would do everything to stay in his good graces. He could ghost her and go MIA for however long he likes, as long as he came back.
And he always does.
Emi knew she was no different from the other women he had been with, as much as she hated it, she couldn't help but be comforted with it. At least she can be content with the fact that no one's getting more affection or better treatment than her. That content later disappeared when she met him outside of their usual hangouts. She couldn't help but think that maybe she should have just listened.
She shouldn't have been more curious about him. She shouldn't have said hi to him when she saw him unexpectedly.
Cause damn ignorance was truly bliss.
Emi was 18 years old when she found out just why she or anyone else could never really have Oliver for themselves.
Oliver always greeted her with a nod of acknowledgment and a smile when they met inside the University. It had been her first time crossing paths with him outside so she was flabbergasted when saw how the man ignored her. She probably must have seen it wrong, he probably didn't see me. Emi told herself. So she approached him, which she later regrets.
Because as soon as she reached him, a pair of hands suddenly came clutching Oliver's arm. Emi paused and glanced at the woman it belonged to, who also did the same, looking at her with the same amount of curiosity.
She knew Oliver hated shopping, he hated going to the mall in general. He only went when he needed to. She couldn't help but suddenly feel angry at the sudden confusion she was feeling, was this woman a new girlfriend of his? Is he, once again, in the honeymoon phase of their relationship?
But she knew that wasn't the case by how Oliver introduced her to the woman he was with.
"Is she your friend, Ver?"
Emi couldn't help but furrow her brows. Ver?
"Not really, she was my partner in one class."
Emi felt her heart drop. No matter who it had been, may it be another woman or a teammate, Oliver had always introduced her by name and he never said no when people asked if she was a friend of his. Even if being his "friend" had some hidden implications to it. So why did he now? Why did he deny their real connection in front of this woman?
"Oh well, hi! I'm l/n y/n, Oliver's best friend, nice to meet you!"
It was an innocent and sweet greeting. If it had been anyone else, Emi would have gushed and greeted in the same manner. But best friend? Oliver's best friend? She had met some of his close friends and Oliver never acted like this. She wasn't stupid, she could tell with his actions, words, and body language that this woman was probably something more for him.
Whether Oliver knew it himself didn't matter.
She could feel Oliver's stare at her, it was like he was indirectly warning her to not do something unpleasant and to just shake the hand that had been waiting for her. So not wanting to upset the man, she faked a smile and shook Y/n's hand, forcing herself to give back the same expression.
That was her first time meeting l/n y/n. Suddenly all the warnings she received suddenly made sense, the rumors that she thought were nonsensical finally had a reason as to why they existed. It wasn't that Oliver treated all of them equally nor that the man didn't like the idea love and being in a serious relationship. It was all because Oliver's heart already belonged to someone else.
Emi was 18 years old when she realized she could never really have Oliver. The guy who was never hers to begin with.
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Yet despite it all, she stayed. Even after two years of getting to know his so-called best friend. There had been times wherein she stopped seeing him and she thought would finally move on and stop but just one sort of begging and she'd crack. He didn't even beg, just a please from him would crash all the walls she had been trying to build around them.
And it wasn't even that Oliver was begging her to stay or come back. She knew if she expressed wanting to move on and hence she'd have to stop seeing him, Oliver would understand. The man would never force anyone to stay, he'd accept and just go on with his life and that scared her the most. Because no matter how twisted and painful it was,
She'd rather hurt herself than not be a part of his life at all.
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There are times wherein Emi wishes she had never said yes to her friends that day. Maybe she would have been in a much better position. Maybe she wouldn't have been someone who accepted sudden dates or meet-up cancellations just because the best friend of the person they made plans with suddenly wanted to go somewhere. Maybe she wouldn't have been so hung up on a guy who puts his best friend above everyone and everything else.
At least she could comfort herself whenever she sees other women realizing the same things she did. Ayaka had been one of those people. She witnessed how Ayaka broke down when the breakup happened. She can also see the jealousy that would sometimes appear in the woman's eyes whenever she sees Y/n. At the same time, she can't help but feel relieved that she wasn't in Ayaka's position. Being his longest girlfriend then realizing why you were the one he stayed with the longest.
On the other hand, she couldn't help but feel resentment at the girl who is technically innocent on all the chaos there is. It wasn't her fault that she was Oliver's childhood friend nor was it her fault that Oliver fell for her without the man even realizing.
The version of Oliver that Y/n got and his hierarchy of importance and affection that was reigned by her, Emi couldn't help but feel jealous of a woman who wasn't even aware of what she had.
Now looking at Ayaka who was talking at the woman who shares similar features and quirks to herself, Emi couldn't help but scoff internally. Ayaka's words might have hit her where it hurts but seeing the life Y/n lives would always make her hurt more.
Because it's the life she could only dream of having.
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Extra:
"Oliver!! Come play with me, Sae's ignoring me again–"
8-year-old Shidou Ryusei stopped when instead of his friend, he was met by the sight of a girl he didn't know.
"Who are you?"
"No, who are you?" The girl questioned her back, he couldn't help but frown at her, not liking the fact his question wasn't answered.
"But I asked you first!"
"And I asked you second! Plus you're the one who came barging into my best friend's house!"
Shidou paused. Best friend? He frowned, obviously this little girl wouldn't be Mr. or Mrs. Aiku's best friend and Oliver didn't have any siblings... So she was Oliver's best friend?
But that title belongs to him and Sae!
"You're lying, I'm his best friend!"
"Nuh uh, it's me! We've been best friends ever since we were babies!"
"That's not even possible!" Shidou argued.
"Sure is." The girl argued back. They continued arguing back and forth till Shidou said something that might have been a little too much which resulted in the girl suddenly bursting out in tears. Feeling guilty and not wanting to see the girl cry, Shidou suddenly dropped the ball he had been holding since earlier and kneeled beside the girl, who was now sitting, throwing apologies about everything he had said.
Coincidentally, Oliver had also shown up at that time which resulted in Shidou being scolded by his friend. Nevertheless, he finally got to know the little girl's name and thus the friendship between the two of them started.
Shidou had always been the more talkative one in their trio which resulted to Y/n getting closer to him in comparison to Sae. Even when their circle of friends expanded, Y/n had been the closest to him, with the exception of Oliver.
Oliver would probably grill him alive if Y/n ever thought that way. Knowing his friend, Oliver probably won't even see any faults on Y/n and solely blame Shidou for it. Just like how it had been ever since they were young. Whenever Y/n cried, it didn't matter what she did or said to the blond boy, Oliver would always put the blame towards Shidou. Same goes with anyone really. Shidou was sure, not once has Oliver seen Y/n as the bad guy, no matter the narrative. His friend only scolded the girl when it was herself she was hurting, regardless if it was intentional or not.
Bottomline was, for Oliver, his dearest childhood friend could never do anything wrong.
"Oliver said he's gonna ask her later."
Shidou looked up at the voice of Kenyu who was now accompanied by Tabito and Eita.
"I could just ask her as well. Where's lover boy?" Shidou snickered, asking despite knowing the answer. In which Yukimiya rolled his eyes in response, he knew that Shidou knew the answer to his own question. He just did it most of the time aggravate the dark haired man. Their entire group knew that it annoyed Yukimiya the most.
"Shut up Shidou, you're not funny."
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