Much like Swift’s August 2019 track “Afterglow,” “this is me trying” sees her accepting fault for relationship issues and making an effort to repair them. Fear, alcohol, and a sense of failure and isolation complicate the healing process, but she takes the first step by having the humility to admit things are difficult and uncertain.
October 2014’s “I Wish You Would,” another collaboration with Jack Antonoff, offers a similar narrative with parallels in imagery and language (driving cars, flashbacks, anger, and regrets), but here she is more proactively taking risks and putting herself out there, even though she still doesn’t have the perfect solution.
Lyrics
[Verse 1]
I've been having a hard time adjusting
I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting
I didn't know if you'd care if I came back
I have a lot of regrets about that
Pulled the car off the road to the lookout
Could've followed my fears all the way down
And maybe I don't quite know what to say
But I'm here in your doorway
[Chorus]
I just wanted you to know that this is me trying
I just wanted you to know that this is me trying
[Verse 2]
They told me all of my cages were mental
So I got wasted like all my potential
And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad
I have a lot of regrets about that
I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere
Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here
Pouring out my heart to a stranger
But I didn't pour the whiskey
[Chorus]
I just wanted you to know that this is me trying
I just wanted you to know that this is me trying
[Post-Chorus]
At least I'm trying
[Bridge]
And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound
It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you
You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town
[Chorus]
And I just wanted you to know that this is me trying
(And maybe I don't quite know what to say)
I just wanted you to know that this is me trying
[Outro]
At least I'm trying