There's a few minutes of silence that to Izuku feels like years as he stares up at the blonde waiting with a trembling core that he can't seem to calm. He knows whatever it is that Katsuki has to say is obviously important.
The blonde takes a deep breath taking a couple pacing steps while he trys to finally gather the last bit of courage he needs to say things he's kept pushed down for years. In all honestly he isn't even sure how to start this conversation, he's never been good with feelings or how to get them across properly, that's one of the reasons he hasn't said anything in the first place.
A soft but curious voice breaks his thoughts.
" Kacchan?"
Crimson eyes glance to see that Izuku has pushed himself into a sitting position leaning back on the headboard.
The green eyed hero gives him a tired smile but one that no matter what the circumstance he's always given the blonde even in the times he didn't deserve to see it.
That soft voice speaks again.
" It's ok Kacchan..you.. you can tell me whatever it is."
Katsuki breathes out heavy running a hand through blonde spikes as he chuckles slightly finally taking a seat on the bed.
" You've always been so damn sweet and supportive. Even when it isn't deserved."
Izuku smiles sheepish.
" That's just me I guess. I think you always hated it though."
Katsuki takes a breath, his eyes not meeting the green ones on him.
" I didn't. I acted that way because it made me feel guilty because of how I treated you. I was trash to you but it never mattered to you, you still were always so fucking sweet and supportive no matter what. I hated how that made me feel because I knew I didn't deserve it, but I never hated it about you Deku."
Izuku is slightly glassy eyed already at this rare side of the blonde he's known forever.
" Kacchan I.. I never wanted you to feel guilty. I'm sorry I made you feel like that."
Katsuki chuckles slightly looking at the greenett in disbelief.
" See.. there you go apologizing for making me feel bad when I don't deserve it. Izuku I deserved how I felt back then, I was terrible to you."
The greenett nips at his bottom lip as he studies the blonde.
" But, you aren't terrible to me now. You haven't been in a really long time. We, we worked past all that stuff Kacchan. You.. you don't still feel that way do you?"
Crimson eyes shift across the room and focus on a picture of him and the greenett in kindergarten. He shrugs feeling his breathing increase. His emotions are on the rise and he's tense inside, he's not use to feeling this way and if he's not careful he'll be crying more than the crybaby in the bed next to him.
" Sometimes. Some of that stuff is hard for me to forgive myself for."
Izuku feels the sting of tears as he carefully reaches to touch the blonde's arm.
" But I forgave you for it. If I could forgive you for our rough past then you should be able to."
That gentle voice and those green eyes have always been Katsuki's weakness. As he finally meets those eyes he feels much like he always has, like he's drowning. He gives a slight smile.
" I'm working on it Deku."
The greenett smiles but then shifts his eyes downcast.
" Is.. is that the reason you came back? Be...because you feel guilty?"
The blonde snaps his attention to the male not looking at him standing up swiftly beginning to pace again.
" What?? No! Is that what you really think?!"
Green eyes look up with a slight furrow in his brow and surprise by the suddenness.
" Well, I mean I.. I don't know. I've been wondering why you came back. At first I thought it was pity maybe but now that you said that I'm just.. I'm just asking."
Katsuki feels a surge of frustration that this nerd is so damn clueless.
" No Deku that's not why I came back. Part of the reason is Aizawa asked me to because you and I have history. I mean fuck, no one knows you like I do. Not Icyhot or Round Face or any other extra. We grew up together, spent the most time together and even if you think you were the only one studying me all those years you'd be fucking wrong. I was always watching Izuku, even when you didn't realize it. I came back because getting you to walk again and helping you through this shit is ... is important to me because.. because I care dammit!"
Izuku is slightly wide eyed blinking at the blonde before he can say anything Katsuki sits down again eyes back on the floor as he mumbles the next line.
" I care a lot Deku. Even when I'm pushing you, pushing past your limits, even when I'm giving you hell or yelling like a lunatic I care. Fuck, sometimes I'm doing it because I care so damn much."
There's tears down Izuku's cheeks now as the blonde looks over at him and grins with a head shake.
" Bet that was fucking surprising to hear come from my mouth huh?"
Izuku smiles wiping his tears as he speaks.
" Kind of but.. but it's.. it's really nice to hear. I .. I care about you too, I always have."
Katsuki smirks.
" I know, yours was more transparent then mine tho. And Deku, you care about everyone."
Izuku swallows hard.
" Yes, that's true but .. I don't care about everyone in the same way or depth that I care about .. certain people.", he stumbles out.
Katsuki raises a brow wondering and hoping he's the only certain person.
There's a minute of silence and then Izuku speaks again.
" So um get...getting back to the thing I'm wondering about mostly at the moment, well honestly I'm wondering about lots of things but the.. the tattoo?"
There's a sudden crash of thunder outside the minute smoldering crimson eyes lock onto emerald ones and for a minute Izuku considers the possibility that Katsuki had the power to make it happen because it was causing a wave of feeling through him at the moment he can't explain all he knows is it feels like heated electricity. It's strong, something is hanging in the air between that makes it feel like you can reach out and physically touch it. He's holding his breath and until his lungs begin to beg for air he doesn't even realize it.
The blonde's eyes remain on green ones as he begins to speak slowly.
" The first time I saw black whip was at that training day where we competed against class 1-B. Monoma was up against you and trash talking me and this dark bad ass bitch showed itself. You couldn't control it, it was all over the fucking place and at first I didn't know why until I heard All Might say it was because you were emotional. You were pissed as fuck over what that jerk was saying about me and it was causing you to react. Even your purple haired freak buddy had to step in to stop you and that quirk because you couldn't calm down. I just remember how that made me feel in that moment. My fucking heart was beating so damn fast as I watched you because in that moment it hit me how much I must really mean to you. For you not to be able to calm the fuck down and almost kick that snarky little bastards ass hard, I knew I ment something deep to you. I guess I saw it as this sign of hope that even though I had put you through so much shit that some place deep you still cared about me. That maybe we wouldn't stay broken for good that I could still fix this shit and be what I always wanted to be. Your hero."
There's heavy tears down Izuku's face now as he sits wide eyed with disbelief. He wants to sob and lunge for the blonde but he bites his lip and forces himself to listen even as he sits a whimpering mess..
" I got that tattoo as a reminder to myself that maybe there could still be hope for us, that even tho I couldn't forgive myself for everything you still gave a shit about me. Deku, when I see black whip I don't just see this bad ass quirk like others do. I see your feelings for me, the way I did tonight when it finally showed itself and stopped me from leaving.", the blonde explains feeling that unsteady shake in his core.
He's doing it again, once again he's betting everything on the fact that he knows Izuku Midoriya better than anyone, he's betting on something he always felt was there, the heros feelings for him.
Izuku's trembling, heart hammering away at his ribs like it wants to escape his chest. He tries to get words to come, to clear his throat from the raw sandpaper like feel, to ask the questions that are screaming inside his head.
There's a silence now but burning crimson eyes and a feeling of its now or never surging through a blonde hero.
He leans in closer making the greenett flush right away but those green eyes stay locked on like he has the inability to look at anything else.
" Deku. What am I to you?"
Izuku shakes his head slightly feeling flushed and overheated.
" W-what?"
Katsuki makes a move he thought he never would reaching out putting a large hand on the side of a freckled cheek.
" What am I? Am I just an old childhood friend? Your rival ? A high school buddy? Someone you look up to? Nothing more than a friend? Your damn physical therapist? A crush ? Your hero ? Or... something more?"
The words hang there as an overactive mind tries desperately to take this question in .
Before he can get his mouth to even open Katsuki speaks again staring into the depths of an emerald colored soul.
" What do you want me to be? Tell me Deku and I'll be it, whatever it is."
The words are slow and low so that they seep in and hit their mark and they have done just that.
" You're... you're all those things. I .. I want you to be all those things but.. I.. I want ... more. I .. I want you to.. to be mine. Will.. will you be all those things?"
A wash of heated relief hits Katsuki and he isn't sure if he wants to laugh, cry or pin this nerd to the mattress right now.
He smirks huge.
"That's fucking greedy Izuku Midoriya you know that? But I will be all those things and like everything else I do I will be fucking amazing at it."
Izuku is laughing and crying at the same time as he holds onto that large hand still on his cheek.
" It's...its Deku to you and.. I can't believe this is real. You, you sure you want me like this though?"
Crimson eyes narrow and immediately gain a glassy sheen.
He brings the heros face close to his own.
" What do I keep telling you ? That fucking accident doesn't change who you are or who you are to me. And if God forbid you never got out of that fucking chair again it wouldn't change a thing! I'd still want you, I'd still be yours. But you proved tonight that you aren't staying in that chair so stop talking like this makes you less than what you are! I'll date you like this, kiss you, take you out, show the god damn world your mine, and I'm yours, but I won't listen to you degrade yourself over a shitty accident that wasn't your fault!", he pants while he glares into wide emerald eyes full of emotion.
Izuku's chest is rising and falling rapidly as he says the words in his mind.
" Kiss me Kacchan. Please..."
The blonde raises a brow at this but he doesn't hesitate, pulling the greenett in by his neck to a heated kiss that Izuku is sure isn't real.
It's not completely gentle or easy, it's not supposed to be in this moment. In this moment it's filled with a whirlwind of heavy emotions. Want, love, fear, frustration, years of regret and pain, promise of a new start and confirmation that both are wanted by the other and whatever comes next is being faced together.
Izuku reaches up and puts his arms around the blonde's shoulders holding on like Katsuki will vanish if he doesn't. There's salty tears down fair cheeks that the blonde breaks the kiss only long enough to kiss those tears away and take a gulp of air before he reconnects greedy mouths again.
When they break finally Katsuki rest his forehead on the greenetts while they both try and regain the ability to breathe.
The blonde smirks.
" That's the first and last time you get to tell me what to do Shitty Deku now kiss your hero and then you're going to bed, you had one hell of a night."
Izuku laughs softly but leans in doing what he knows he always will, anything Katsuki wants him to.
After a few soft kisses Katsuki stands up fixing the blankets around the greenett who can't take his eyes off the still shirtless blonde.
" You're really just gonna go out there and go to bed Kacchan? After all this?! I feel like we have so much to talk about."
The blonde smirks but rolls his eyes.
"We do but we can talk about all that in the morning. Deku you spent everything you had tonight when you used your quirks to walk. You look tired as fuck. You need rest, I told you I was gonna be amazing at everything, that includes being your boyfriend so I'm trying to take care of your nerdy ass here."
Izuku smiles with a wave of butterflies.
" Boyfriend... wow.", he mumbles making the blonde cock a brow.
" Well yeah, pretty sure that's the official title, unless you don't want it to be offi...."
He's cut off.
" No I do! I'm.. I'm just saying it outloud cause it sounds so nice."
Katsuki chuckles.
" Such a nerd."
A green-eyed hero grins.
" Your nerd."
Green and crimson eyes lock.
" Yeah, my nerd, but you've always been, you just didn't know it."
Izuku leans back on his headboard.
" Gosh I wish I had"
The blonde laughs crossing his arms leaning on the door frame.
" I can't believe you didn't, everyone else knew."
Emerald eyes go wide.
" What?! E-everyone?!"
" Well everyone except Icyhot hot and fucking Round Face apparently."
Suddenly it hits Izuku.
" Oh my gosh thats .. that's why you got so mad when Uraraka showed up! And .. and why you don't like Sho! You.. you're jealous!"
Crimson eyes narrow as the blonde scoffs.
" His name is Icyhot not Sho, don't call him by any shitty nickname. And yeah that's why! Damn, how can you be so damn smart but take this long to see this shit."
Izuku smiles sheepish.
" I guess cause I never would have believed Kacchan wanted me. I still kinda can't."
Katsuki stares at him for a minute.
" Why not? Everything I choose is the best, that should have made it clear. Go to sleep Deku"
There's tears in emotional eyes at the words as he calls for the blonde before he can shut the door
" Kacchan wait!"
Katsuki stops and turns around.
" Yeah?"
There's a blush and sheepish eyes.
"It's just, you're right tonight was a lot and.. since you know we're to-together now. You.. you could sleep in here with me."
Katsuki smirks.
" Deku, are you trying to get me into bed already?"
That blush grows as the greenett pulls the blankets over his face at the tease.
" Ugh Kacchan! Nevermind."
Suddenly there's a heavy thump on the side of the bed.
Izuku pulls the sheet down enough to show his eyes seeing a smirking blonde laying beside him.
" I'll stay if you promise me you'll go to sleep. I know this is a lot and I promise we can talk about all this more tomorrow but it's after midnight and you need some sleep and fuck so do I. This emotional stuff isn't easy for me either."
The greenett smiles pulling the blanket all the way down from his face.
" No but you did it Kacchan."
Crimson eyes lock on as he runs the back of his index finger over freckles.
" Anything for you Deku. If you push hard for me and don't give up, continue to push past your limits I'll push past my comfort zone for you in everything I can."
A/N
Our tale continues ♡